The Martin Chronicles thinks Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin's budget fiasco is absurd. The incompetent Martin has sailed his "Ship of Fools" into a stormy sea of red ink. Keep in mind that the City has had three unfilled positions for many, many, many months. No salaries No health care costs. No retirement costs. These facts alone should have translated into a significant budget surplus. Instead, Martin has been begging council to give him a SIX-FIGURE BUDGET AMENDMENT in order to save his "wife's house(?)."
It is being very generous to say that Martin's handling of the City budget has been a disaster of epic proportions. Money is now so tight that there are plans being seriously considered to limit each police officer to using one tank of gas a week. Note to all criminals considering Villa Hills as a target. Wait until at least Thursday. You'll have a better chance of eluding police officers when they are on foot.
We have established that Martin is incapable of managing the City budget. So then why has it taken him such a painfully long time to prepare the coming fiscal year's budget proposal? What's the big deal? Throw something out there! You'll foul it all up anyway! C'mon man!
How much different can next year's City budget be from the current year's City budget? Is Martin planning to announce that Villa Hills is launching a space program? Is Martin planning to build a multi-level concrete parking lot on City property? Perhaps the CEO is hoping to give Cordelia Schaber a substantial pay raise? After all, who can live on $47.50 per hour?
What is taking so long? Could it be that Martin is chiseling his budget figures on to stone tablets? Or maybe on one of County Boss Steve Arlinghaus' grossly over-priced granite counter tops? Has he hired a scribe to write his budget on a papyrus scroll? Perhaps a fleet of skywriters?
Martin says he hasn't finished "tweaking" his budget proposal yet. Alright already. Enough of the freaking tweaking. Unless Martin intends to hire the eighth police officer his budget is most likely DOA anyway. Much like the entire City government.
Bugler, sound Taps.
