We even hear the grind of the occasional snow plow lumber down our secluded street. We all hope that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin doesn't decide to have some "anonymous" concerned citizen send a letter to the State Auditor requesting an investigation of the Public Works crews' overtime.
Our readers should rest assured that we are not suffering under any false illusion that the war in Villa Hills is all but over. We aren't buying the reports from other media outlets that the mallet-headed Martin is simply "finishing out his term".
Our publisher has already talked to us about that very thing. He gave us a stern history lesson that went all the way back to 1944. It was then that a combination of war-weary and "green" divisions of the US Army were sent to the Ardennes region in Belgium, Luxembourg and France for rest, refit and training.
Both the bone-tired and the untested US Army troops hunkered down, hoping that the war in Europe would come to an end before Christmas. As far as they knew, the once proud German Wehrmacht had been reduced to a rag-tag collection of boys and old men.
The Germans took advantage of an unusually harsh winter to move what remained of its very best Panzer and Infantry divisions to the Ardennes sector without detection. Then, on December 16, 1944 they launched a huge, surprise offensive that was designed to drive all the way to the Belgian port of Antwerp to drive a wedge between the American and British sectors in hopes of forcing a negotiated settlement to the war on Europe's Western Front.
Thanks in large part to the hastily-deployed 101st Airborne's brave defense of the key crossroads town of Bastogne, Belgium, and General George Patton's bold Third Army counter-attack, the US Army was able to break the back of the German offensive and push the war in Europe toward its conclusion. The Red Army was over-running Berlin and Hitler was committing suicide in his Furherbunker within a matter of a few months.
We know that the malevolent Martin also has another counter-offensive up his sinister sleeve. We are well aware that Martin remains convinced that he is doing a fine job-despite all of the revelations of his corruption and mismanagement. We are confident that Martin continues to pull out all the stops to convince council to vote to use taxpayer money to release him from the huge personal legal liability he now faces for his intentional LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION.
We are equally certain that Martin still intends to disband the Villa Hills Police Department and contract for shoddy-at-best service from elsewhere. We are convinced that Martin firmly believes he can string together enough fallacious fables to win whatever-majority of Villa Hills' hearts and minds to earn re-election in 333 days-from the Friday, December 6 celebration of St. Nicholas Day.
The Martin Chronicles is not letting its guard down. Not even for a single, solitary second. Our beloved publisher reminded us of our mission earlier today-borrowing the words from General George Patton-as he exhorted us this way.
"By God, I pity that poor lying bastard Martin we're going up against. By God, I do. I don't want to get any messages from you that say 'Hold on, there is nothing going on'. We'll let Martin try to fool people in to believing that crap. We are revealing Martin's mess constantly and not interested in holding on to anything but Martin. We're going to hold on to him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass for his lies and corruption and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose. Now, there's one thing you will all be able to say when The Martin Chronicles is finally able to close up shop. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're retired and sitting around your fireside with your grandchild on your knee and your grandchild asks you what you did when the malfeasant Martin tried to absolutely destroy The City of Villa Hills, you won't have to say, 'Well, I wasted my time drinking beer with the ass-clowns at the Civic Club.' Alright, now you sonsabitches, you know how I feel. Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful men and women in to any effort to reveal rampant government corruption and mismanagement anytime, anywhere. That's all."
Yep, we are more than ready for the coming election year.