Saturday, October 25, 2014

BREAKING NEWS: Desperation Or Stupidity?

The Martin Chronicles offices just received a call from one of its reporters, who is combing the streets of Villa Hills. Our reporter was approached by about a dozen residents from the neighboring city of Crescent Springs.


These out-of-towners told our reporter that the misguided Martin came a-calling on them to ask for their votes and to place yard signs. Our reporter was told that Martin reacted combatively when the bewildered Crescent Springs' residents informed the tiny tyrant that he was "fishing in the wrong pond".


One stunned man said, "It was as if Martin just snapped. We all told him we should know where we live. I suggested he go back across the border in to Villa Hills. What a strange little guy." Yeah, that had to be Martin.


Is Martin's search for votes outside his city and act of desperation? Is Martin just stupid? Of course you know the answer.


The answer to both questions is "yes".

WEEKENDER II: The Closing Days

The Martin Chronicles reporters will be out in full force as we enter the final full week of the election campaign in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. We are expecting everything and anything to happen.

As most of the candidates-and our rapidly growing audience-now realize, we have eyes and ears everywhere. We will be able to report every move every candidate makes in the closing days of this important race. Most importantly, we will immediately correct every lie that's told. Those lies will most certainly come fast and furious from the mendacious Martin and others. Rewriting recent history is difficult, after all.

So, how is the election taking shape? For the purposes of full disclosure, we still aren't ready to begin predicting results. November 4's outcome is in the hands of Villa Hills voters. Yes, that's exactly how it should be. 

But that raises some interesting questions. Are enough voters truly engaged? Have enough voters been watching the train wreck that has been Martin's past four, miserable years in the mayor's office? Have enough voters finally realized that it does matter who sits in the mayor's office and in the six city council seats? We will know the answers to these questions soon enough.

We do know that Martin's base of support is significantly smaller than it was four years ago. Since narrowly eking out victory in 2010, Martin is no longer seen as some "nice little fella" who a razor-thin majority of voters offered the chance to show what he could really do. Sure, he did show what he can really do. And what is that? To dishonestly orchestrate a corrupt and incompetent disaster.

But the 2014 mayor's race is quite different. Martin is facing three opponents, not one. Despite his well-documented record of abject failure and malfeasance, Martin needs far fewer votes to be reelected than he did to be elected in 2010.

Martin still has some base of support that he continues to dupe. He even has the "Martin Five" council candidates assisting his dishonest efforts to push the lie that Villa Hills is a city "moving forward". This despite convictions for official wrongdoing, a reprimand from the Villa Hills Ethics Board, four straight busted budgets, almost no street repair, a publicly abused local police department and multiple tax increases.

Remember, Martin doesn't need a majority of votes to win this time. He simply needs just one more vote than the three other candidates. Martin could conceivably win with just 26% of November 4's mayoral vote. While such a result isn't likely, it could happen.

One of the other three candidates has to break out of the pack. Brown, Callery and Menninger-Isenhour better be campaigning-and campaigning energetically-over these final days of the campaign. Villa Hills residents deserve a better city government than the one they have endured these past four years. Even if an as yet-undetermined number of those residents have yet to realize that obvious fact.

We'll examine the city council race next.

Friday, October 24, 2014

WEEKENDER: Every Little Bit Helps

The Martin Chronicles appreciates the "shout out" we received from the dinosaur media the other day. Despite the fact that more people read our blog than anything the failing Gannett products publish.


While we're on the subject, we stand by our report about the rumors being circulated by malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's supporters at the civic club claiming that Irvin Callery intends to withdrawal from the Villa Hills mayor's race and publicly throw his support to rival candidate Ernie Brown. The circulation of those rumors is a fact, whether Irvin Callery likes it or not.


While we're on that subject, Irvin Callery is completely off base when he claims that The Martin Chronicles supports any of the current mayoral or council candidates. That baseless claim is just a lame attempt by Callery to change the subject.


Does The Martin Chronicles believe that certain candidates would do a better job representing the people of Villa Hills than others? Of course we do. If a majority of voters understand that fact when they go to the polls on November 4, there will certainly be some major changes in Villa Hills currently-mangled and mismanaged city government.


We do believe it is well past time for the corrupt and incompetent Martin to be swept in to the dust bin of history. We have always made that quite clear.


But we don't favor any of his three rivals. Brown, Callery and Menninger-Isenhour are all better choices than Martin. Heck, Dave Garroway's chimpanzee sidekick J. Fred Muggs would do a far better job than the corrupt and incompetent Martin.


Muggs for mayor?



Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Shell Game, Revisited

The Martin Chronicles has already told you about the wisecrack offered up by a long time political observer in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. In case you have forgotten, it went like this, "Villa Hills city finances have been a real shell game during Martin's four terrible years in office. It's far past time to get rid of the nut who has been running this tawdry con on the taxpayers".  

So what about this shell game? Would you like a few examples? Sure you would. Why?Because you have to cast a vote for the next mayor and six council members in just about 11 days.
  • The malfeasant Martin and his willing accomplices have camouflaged some of the more than $500,000 absolutely wasted on taxpayer-funded lawyers and legal actions in innocuous budget line items such as "pre-paid expenses", "resident resources (whatever the heck that is)" and yes, even "office expenses".
  • The malfeasant Martin recently used more than $5,000 of taxpayer money to pay the Lexington-based law firm of Sturgill, Turner, Barker & Moloney, PLLC. Why is that significant? Because that law firm is representing Martin personally in the four current lawsuits the mismanaging mayor's reckless behavior has generated.
  • The malfeasant Martin and his willing accomplices have exploded the budget for the money to "improve" a park that almost no resident even knows exists. Martin's current, "golden moment" council approved a little more than $12,000 for the pointless project. Martin has actually squandered more than $48,000 on this useless white elephant waste of taxpayer money to-date.
  • The malfeasant Martin continues to sit on the alleged $15,000 dollars he and incumbent council candidate Brian Wischer claimed was collected from some poor insurance company after the Amsterdam Village sign was damaged by a drunk driver more than a year ago. Why hasn't the still-missing sign been replaced? If $15,000 was actually collected from some poor insurance company as Martin and Wischer claimed, where is it now?
  • The malfeasant Martin has cleverly kept a-taxpayers-on-the-hook-$217,000 fine from the State of Kentucky for "pension spiking" out of the city's financial records. Yes, the taxpayers have been kept in the dark about this tawdry piece of Martin mismanagement. But its worse than that. Martin has paid his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry (of Gerner & Kerns) roughly $7,000 to contest the fine. Oh, by the way, Martin, McMurtry and Craigory T. Bohman have already accused to former police officers of "pension spiking". So, how can Martin object to the fining of his abject mismanagement?
The preceding shocking examples are just the tip of the iceberg of Martin's abject waste of taxpayer money. The reality is far worse. If Martin is somehow re-elected, the financial fallout to the taxpayers will be staggering.

Its time to clean house on November 4.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Campaign Observations

The Martin Chronicles reporters are out in full force on the campaign trail in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embattled Villa Hills. We are hearing all kinds of discussion and speculation as we enter the final 12 days of the race.

1. Our reporters have heard rumors and rumblings that former Covington Mayor Irvin Callery is soon going to graciously drop out of the four-way mayoral race and very publicly ask his supporters to give their vote to fellow challenger Ernie Brown. Why? Because-above all else-Mr. Callery realizes that the most important thing for the city is the defeat of the corrupt and incompetent Martin.

2. Sources at the civic club are telling us that most of the rank-and-file regulars have already written-off the mismanaging Martin. The club chatter is whether Ernie Brown or Irvin Callery is the better choice to take on the sure-to-be-monumental mess Martin has made over the past four years.

3. The Sensible Citizens completely exploded the Martin-Koenig myth that the civic-minded group is "partician". How? They provided yet a second public forum for the three new council candidates (Hilgeford, Yost-Vaden and Berger) who consciously chose to "no-show" last week's Town Hall event.

       a. Boo-Bird "Martin Five" member Dave Hilgeford stabbed his fearless leader Martin
       in the back by announcing that he supports Holly Menninger-Isenhour for mayor.  
       Hilgeford raised eyebrows at the Sensible Citizen "Mulligan event" by telling
       attendees that he made that decision because he and Menninger-Isenhour are
       frequently "walkin' the dog". Hey-oh! Get the kids out of the room!

       b. Jennifer Yost-Vaden went a long way confirming the suspicion that she is nothing
       more than a Martin Kool-Aid drinking mouth-breather when she said she had no
       problem with the more than $500,000 of taxpayer money has wasted on lawyers and
       legal actions.

       c. Summer Berger showed everyone her low regard for the residents she pretends to
       want to serve by brazenly "no-showing" the Sensible Citizen "Mulligan event". First
       year law student Berger provides the perfect rationale for William Shakespeare's line,
       "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers".

4. While we're on the subject of lawyers, our tipsters inside the law firm of Gerner & Kerns are happy to tell us all they know about Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry. These snitches are convinced that McMurtry is busy trying to insulate himself from any malpractice charges that may come if Martin is indeed defeated. These insiders say that McMurtry is telling anyone and everyone who will listen that Martin never takes his advice and instead does whatever he wants. We understand McMurtry's desperation. But after $239,000 of taxpayer money has been siphoned out of the city treasury-we still hope it doesn't work.

November 4 is now right around the corner.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

What If The Shoe Were On The Other Foot?

The Martin Chronicles had a very distinguished, long-time Villa Hills resident pay a visit to our offices today. To a person, our entire staff enjoys meeting with this legendary long-timer. Especially when this person brings several pizzas as was the case today.

Everyone gathered in the break room to enjoy pizza, soft drinks and conversation about the final two weeks of the election campaign in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embarrassed burg. Oh, this race has been a doozy.

Martin has been telling bold-faced lies about his wild spending on lawyers and legal fees. Martin used taxpayer money to pay city employees to print and mail a piece of political propaganda. The "Martin Five" council candidates have been making flowery promises about "communication" and "transparency" and then no-showing the only opportunity to answer serious questions from inquisitive residents prior to Election Day. Martin apparatchik City Administrator/Clerk Craigory T. Bohman has been photographed going on private property to remove campaign signs. The high crimes and hypocrisy have been epic.

After about twenty minutes of political chatter, our distinguished guest stood up and said, "Is everyone ready to play a game?" Always up for some fun, the entire staff emphatically said "yes!"

Our colleague began this way. "We all know Martin has built a pernicious political career on making all kinds of vicious, baseless claims about his opponents, right?" After unanimous agreement, our guest continued. "We also know that Martin has created a ridiculous myth that he is just a pure-as-the-driven-snow, good government evangelist who has always struggled against the forces of evil, right?" Again, unanimous agreement. So, are you ready to play a game called, "What if the shoe were on the other foot"? Everyone was "in"!

Okay, so "Mister Truth and Integrity" is a challenger instead of the incumbent in the current race. The imaginary incumbent mayor has done every corrupt and incompetent thing that the real Martin has actually done so far and no one really knows "Martin the challenger". Are you with me so far? Of course we were.

Our visitor continued. So, what would "Martin the challenger" do? As is his wont, he would make vicious, baseless claims against the incumbent right? Sure he would. Heck, he does it all the time. Imagine "Martin the challenger" entertaining his civic club buddies (CCB) with a pack of tripe in preparation for handing out his dung door-to-door the final weekend of the election campaign.

Here is how "Martin the challenger (MTC)" would do it:

MTC: "Did you know that Mayor Incumbent just purchased a 2015 Ford F-150?"

CCB: "Wow, really?"

MTC: Oh, yeah. And those F-150s start at $25,000.

CCB: Woo-eee.

MTC: So where does a shoddy-at-best handyman get that kind of money, anyways?

CCB: Gee, how?

MTC: Think about it for a minute. Didn't Mayor Incumbent use your money to hire his personal attorney to serve as City Attorney?

CCB: Yeah, he did!

MTC: And haven't you seen the documents on Facebook that prove Mayor Incumbent has paid more than $239,000 dollars in less than to years to a guy who was his personal attorney? Guys, that is your money!

CCB: Yeah, we've seen that! Holy (EXPLETIVE)!

MTC: Well, how can you be sure where all of your taxpayer money really went?

CCB: Yeah, we don't know! (EXPLETIVE), the city financials on the crappy city website don't make any sense at all!

MTC: That's what I'm talkin' about!

CCB: (EXPLETIVE)

MTC: But it sure doesn't end there.

CCB: Huh?

MTC: Well, think about it? Didn't Mayor Incumbent get his city clerk a 50% pay raise to take on the role of city administrator?

CCB: Yeah, that's right!

MTC: And didn't that clerk/administrator then pay Mayor Incumbent a lot of money to supposedly do shoddy-at-best handyman work on his home in Erlanger?

CCB: (EXPLETIVE)! He did do that!

MTC: So, do you know what money laundering is?

CCB: Uh, huh. What?

MTC: C'mon! Doesn't that sound exactly like some crooked kind of payback?

CCB: Yeah. Yeah, uh. Yeah it does.

MTC: Can't you see it? Mayor Incumbent is ripping you off. He's just a taxpayer-robbing crook!

By the way, the REAL MALFEASANT MAYOR MARTIN just purchased a 2015 Ford F-150.

Two Weeks To Go

The Martin Chronicles read the dinosaur media's contribution to the city council race in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills with amusement. It's obvious that the two incumbents and three of the seven challengers (the five Martin has described as "my candidates") are desperately hoping to convince the voters that the past four dreadful years never happened. But the past four dreadful years have happened.

Mary Koenig and Brian Wischer have supported the events of the past four dreadful years with their actions and with their votes supporting Martin's "agenda of vendetta". Dave Hilgedford and Summer Berger have supported the events of the past four dreadful years by willingly allowing Martin to use and misuse them as mindless mouthpieces on various city committees. Jennifer Yost-Vaden also seems perfectly content to serve as a parrot sitting on Martin's shoulder, squawking the Martin-Koenig line that Villa Hills is a city somehow "moving forward".

The "Martin Five" obviously think most voters are idiots who will take all of about ten seconds to deciding how to cast their six council votes. We are mindful that these five base their belief on the mostly-inattentive voters who went to the polls in 2010 and 2012. We think this year may be a bit different.

Why? Because the events of the past four dreadful years seem to have stirred more interest in this year's election. It now appears that a fairly sizeable number of residents understand that it does matter who sits in the mayor's office and on city council. Given the four-way mayor's race and the undeniable math of the council race, it's unclear how much the voter's heightened interest in this election will ultimately improve the current corrupt and incompetent city government. We'll know that in a couple of weeks.

It was hilarious to read the "Martin Five" comments about "transparency" and "communication". If these five really believed in those two concepts, they would have come to last week's council Town Hall event to face questions from the residents. But none of them saw fit to do so.

Oh, that's right. The "Martin Five" bought in to Martin's disparaging F-Bomb rant about the residents, the Sensible Citizens and the Town Hall meetings. Then Martin stabbed his five candidates in the back by showing up at the mayor Town Hall, only to have his endless lies exploded before a packed house in Villa Madonna's theater. We guess that represents at least a small measure of justice.

"Transparency" and "communication" aren't found on some piece of political propaganda or in some trite article published in the dinosaur media. These two concepts are found in votes and actions. If enough voters are mindful of that fact, it does not bode well for Martin and the "Martin Five".

Two weeks to go.