Martin's "Golden Moment": Month 2 Begins

The Martin Chronicles enjoys listening to smart people try to explain what they think makes Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin tick. These bright people simply can't accept the fact that Shorty is nothing more than a toxic mixture of uneducated incompetence and hillbilly corruption. They (at least want to) believe that there has to be another explanation for the mess that has taken place over the past twenty-five months. Why? Because some of them helped create it.

One reader has decided that The Nitwit From Norwood is more than just your garden-variety moron. They believe that Shorty is a sociopath cut from the same cloth as Norman Bates of Alfred Hitchcock Psycho fame. They attempted to explain the similarities and differences in a recent e-mail.

• Psycho's Norman Bates actually assumed the personality of his deceased mother. Psycho Mike Martin simply kept cashing her checks.
• Both Psycho's Norman Bates and Psycho Mike Martin have an odd, hard-to-sort-out relationship with someone named Janet.
• Psycho's Norman Bates killed his victim in a shower. Villa Hills killed itself by electing its own Norman Bates (Mike Martin) in a voting booth.
• Psycho's Norman Bates tried to hide his crimes by closing his victim's body in a car trunk and then sinking the car in a swamp. Psycho Mike Martin started his crime spree by opening a safe with a backhoe as the City's reputation began to sink into a cesspool.
• Psycho's Norman Bates revived the career of actor Anthony Perkins. Psycho Mike Martin revived the careers of numerous Northern Kentucky civil and criminal defense attorneys.
• Psycho's Norman Bates murdered a private detective. Psycho Mike Martin is attempting to kill the careers of everyone employed by an entire police department.
• Psycho's Norman Bates' actions were adroitly directed by the acclaimed director Alfred Hitchcock. Villa Hills' Norman Bates' actions are being feebly directed by the abhorrent, detested Steve Barfinghaus.
• In an absolutely amazing coincidence, if you add up the IQs of all of Psycho's Norman Bates' friends it will be the exact equivalent of the sum of the IQs of all of Psycho Mike Martin's Civic Club friends. Oh, that's right. Psycho's Norman Bates had no friends. Not that much of a coincidence after all.
• Psycho's Norman Bates blamed his mother for all of the crimes he committed. Psycho Mike Martin isn't the least bit picky about who he blames for the misconduct and neglect of duty he continues to commit. You just know he will blame somebody.

You know, there may just be something to this after all.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Several sources are saying that the malevolent Martin has made it abundantly clear by certain actions he has taken that he DOES NOT think that someone who is REQUIRED to wear body armor and carry a gun while performing their work duties should consider their duty hazardous. Does Eddie still think Martin isn't carrying out a vendetta? It's pretty obvious to most that Martin will never get over his forgery arrest. The problem is that a slim majority of voters put Shorty in the position to gain his revenge. Those pinheads are getting exactly what they voted for.]