As an example, absolutely never, ever, ever use a Kenton Kounty e-mail address, fax machine or telephone to send us information about that bilious blowhard Steve Barfinghaus or any of the dim-bulb members of his goon squad. Don't do it. Not now. Not ever. NEVER! No matter how important the information is. Use your own phone, email or fax. It can wait. Its not like Barfinghaus is going to suddenly become a decent human being. Barfinghaus is a skunk of the highest order and will be so forevermore
What advice might new Councilmember Rod Baehner provide? Let's take a wild guess. Rod would advise you to be "patient". Wait until you get to your own computer, phone of fax. And you know what? Unlike Rod's plea for "patience" as The Fidgety Forger happily dismantles the Villa Hills Police Department, patience is a good idea when ratting out the bad guys.
What advice do we think new Councilmember Jim Cahill would give? Well, unlike the way he describes the voluminous problems with the City's mystery-riddled financial statements, Cahill would probably tell you that using your employer's resources to contact us would be "very material".
What advice would new Councilmember Flyin' Brian Wischer post on Facebook? First, he would accuse the wrong person of sending The Martin Chronicles information on company equipment. Then little Mr. Wischer would use a very out-dated term to describe that wrong person. Maybe something like "a tool"?
What advice would inattentive cincinnati.com junior reporter Libby Cunningham offer up? "Sorry, I don't have time for anything substantive right now. I need to send a tweet to, well, er, uh, eh, almost nobody".
What advice would giantess firebug MARY HARDMAN supply? "Just tell them you read a book that said it was perfectly fine to use company phones, computers and faxes for personal use. Oh, and stare menacingly at everyone while you are saying it".
What advice would EDDIE lend? He'd probably tell you to only send us information if we pay you $55 per tip. He'd also tell you to say we didn't pay you anything if someone else asks.
What advice would $47.50 per hour-crony-hire-bucket-headed-clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber send your way? "Ahhhh dowunt unnerstayand. Whuuut is uh informayant?" Don't worry, you'll still have to pay her $47.50 per hour. Despite the fact that she resigned almost a year-and-a-half ago.
Last but not least, what sage advice would you receive from The Crown Prince Of Incompetence And Corruption, Mike Martin? He'd say that if you're caught you just say, "I didn't know I couldn't misuse the organization's resources THEN, but I know that NOW"! Hey, it has always worked for Shorty.
Just remember. The job you save may be your own. Don't worry, this corrupt circus will eventually pull up stakes and leave town. Shorty's "Golden Moment" is already falling apart.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Our Kenton Kounty Kourt House snitches do report that Villa Hills Police Detective Joe Schutzman and All Hail The Superior were both seen entering the Kounty Kastle at roughly the same time last Friday-but not together! No, Barfinghaus. They didn't use YOUR computer to contact us this time. At least as far as YOU know.]
