ONE: You are either IN, or you are OUT.
TWO: Just because no one agrees with you, it doesn't mean you are wrong.
THREE: No circular firing squads.
FOUR: Very stupid people can also be very corrupt.
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FIVE: Not only does he know it NOW, he knew it THEN.
SIX: Your life sucks if you spend more than two nights a week in a crummy bar.
SEVEN: Fence-straddling eventually leaves you singing falsetto.
EIGHT: If you need someone else to unclog your toilet, try stool softeners.
NINE: When you are convicted on 7 of 9 charges you have not been acquitted.
TEN: Beware of training manuals that tell you its okay to break the law.
ELEVEN: Government agencies are NEVER allowed to hold secret meetings.
TWELVE: Only mental cases think its always someone else's fault.
THIRTEEN: Patience is rarely a virtue when dealing with crooked morons.
FOURTEEN: NEVER hire an unlicensed electrician or plumber.
FIFTEEN: It's NEVER a good idea to run a police barricade when you have dope in the car.
SIXTEEN: Octagons always have eight sides.
SEVENTEEN: Generally speaking, backhoes aren't designed to open anything.
EIGHTEEN: We need more police officers, not more guns.
NINETEEN: Saving "a whole lot of money" should lead to "a whole lot" lower tax rate.
TWENTY: Toad McMurtry is nothing more than a high-priced whore.
TWENTY-ONE: The good folks win in the end.
Our publisher also has what he calls The EDDIE Rule posted on his wall.
"When you tell one person what happened and then tell another person a completely conflicting version of that same event, you have told someone a LIE. Right, EDDIE?"
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles will host its 95,000th visitor this weekend. And we are just warming up.]
