Tonight's Episode, "The Lunatic Mayor"

The Martin Chronicles can't help but laugh about certain sections of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's bizarre Municipal Order 2013-01 regarding the tiny tyrant's proposed investigation of Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman. One of our favorites? Section 4 a, which reads "To report the matter to any outside law enforcement agency, including, without limitation, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (our bold and underline added for emphasis) . . . ".

The FBI? About an alleged double-billing of eleven-yes, eleven-hours worked? Over a period of more than one dreadful year? When the brow-beaten Police Department was operating at seventy-five percent of full strength because of the malevolent Martin's ongoing vendetta? Seriously?

 

The Martin Chronicles experienced staff of reporters has been working all of its vast number of sources. Interestingly, none of them can find one single, solitary example of the manipulative Martin sitting down with Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman to discuss concerns about the potential of alleged double-billing of any hours.

Instead, the mismanaging Martin proposed spending as much as TEN THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS-through his signed Municipal Order 2013-01-bringing in the Federal Bureau of Investigation to scrutinize the timesheets of Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman? Are you kidding us? What does that demonstrate other than a miscreant mayor who has slipped the surly bonds of mental health?

We can only think back with fondness to the revered television series, appropriately titled THE FBI, that ran for 241 action-packed episodes from 1965 until 1974. Inspector Lew Erskine-lovingly portrayed by the venerable actor Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.-and his crack team of agents. They tracked down murderers, extortionists, spies, mobsters, gamblers, defectors, thieves, embezzlers, mad bombers, black-mailers, hired killers, runaways, kidnappers, assassins, white-collar-crime criminals, bank robbers, junkies, conspirators, loan-sharks, ex-Nazis, pornographers, escaped prisoners, terrorists, mercenaries, numbers-runners, Commies, hijackers and FORGERS (hey, didn't four highly-respected judges conclude that now-Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's fit the very definition of FORGERY?)







So, if the FBI ever did an episode about the malevolent Martin's crazy vendetta against the Villa Hills Police department, how would the baritone announcer cue it up? Here is how we think it would go:

"The FBI. A Quinn Martin, Warner Brother's Production, Starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. Also starring Phillip Abbot, Stephen Brooks, with guest stars Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin, Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman, Police Chief Dan Goodenough and the Villa Hills City Council. Tonight's episode, "The Lunatic Mayor". Damn, that nails it.

Any voter who thinks that Villa Hills deserves better than it has been getting over the past three years still has to wait 337 days to try to fix Mike Martin's endless, wasteful mess.