First, we'll consider the Facebook posts of someone we'll call "Wan(duh) Widebottom". Wan(duh) posts that your Kenton County library card is the key to finding "the truth" about Villa Hills and its politicians-past and present. Then old Mrs. Widebottom immediately proceeds to totally misrepresent the truth.
Want an example? Sure you do. Mrs. Widebottom writes that it was only (the loony) Mike Pope who didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. No matter how you slice old Wan(duh)'s post, it's a bucket of hogwash.
Sure, (the loony) Mike Pope didn't vote the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. There is a good reason for that. You see, (the loony) Mike Pope wasn't even on City Council when the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX was approved in 2007.
Using Wan(duh) Widebottom's laughable line of illogic, thousands-heck, billions-of people didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Elmer Fudd didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. General Zod didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Hedley Lamarr didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX.
It's a safe bet you didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX either. But you know who did vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Why, faith and beggorah, it was the malfeasant Mike Martin!
For clarification, The Martin Chronicles is not questioning the credibility of the information available at the Kenton County Public Library. Our point is simply that old Wan(duh) Widebottom is futilely attempting to push smoke in a wheelbarrow.
Next we'll turn our attention to someone-to protect his youthful identity-we'll call Argyle Boysenberry. His recent Facebook posts are a ridiculous example of someone who obviously believes he should be able to have it both ways.
Little Argyle wrote a defamatory post that libeled a City employee who is currently embroiled in numerous legal controversies with malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. Boysenberry's actionable post took a tiny piece of thread out of the recent State Auditor's report-that offered damning proof of Martin's gross incompetence-and tried to weave another new sweater out of it.
Other Facebook posters then began to attack Master Boysenberry's libelous post. So what did Lil' Argyle do next? He began to offer posts bemoaning the lack of civility on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page. How dare someone call Argyle Boysenberry an "idiot" simply because he libeled a City employee? Oh, brother.
But our favorite current Facebooker? Oh, that would be someone we'll call Winter Wiener, also to protect her identity. She wins the "CAKE-TAKER" Award for this most recent series of Facebook posts.
So what did Winter Wiener post? Well, she wrote that "(Martin) was operating without the benefit of a city clerk." We are concluding that Winter Wiener means that if Martin had "the benefit of a city clerk" there would not have been all of the timesheet errors that brought the State Auditor down on the diminutive dictator's empty head.
Oh, really? Is that a fact? No, it isn't. You see, Sue Bree was the City Clerk for most of the first two years of Martin's mis-administration of the City of Villa Hills. Is Winter Wiener suggesting that Sue Bree was too incompetent to review a dozen or so timesheets every two weeks?
Probably so. But former City Clerk Sue Bree should be used to being thrown under Martin's bus. Remember the bygone days of Martin's removal hearing? Martin dropped an after-the-fact reprimand on Sue Bree's head accusing her of violating Federal, State and City laws because she failed to adhere to Open Records statutes. Now Winter Wiener says Sue Bree is also responsible for the timesheet errors that led to the State Auditor's report. Boy Howdy!
Here is what is really happening. Wan(duh) Widebottom, Argyle Boysenberry and Winter Wiener are loyally floating "Re-Elect Martin In 2014" trial balloons for the mismanaging mayor. Their bogus Facebook posts represent the wild claims Martin himself will make as he tries to convince a majority of Villa Hills voters that he isn't responsible for what is truly his mess of the past four years.
Martin is planning a "Puddles Pity-Party" (for your own benefit, check out "Puddles Pity-Party on You Tube) story, claiming that there was nothing he could do to fix all of the problems that he himself created (but will claim he inherited) over the preceding four years. Or, is it forty-eight months? Or, maybe two hundred and eight weeks? Or, should we say one thousand, four hundred and twenty-three days? Or was it thirty-four thousand, one hundred and fifty-two hours? Or would it be better to go to Martin's last line of defense and write one million, twenty-six thousand and two hundred and twenty-eight seconds to fix all of the many problems-that he himself created?
We actually feel sorry for Wan(duh) Widebottom, Argyle Boysenberry and Winter Wiener. Why? Because they are evidently naïve enough to believe the mis-directing Martin's endless stream of excuses for his own failures.
The key will be whether or not a majority of Villa Hills voters are naïve enough to believe the lies Martin will be telling them next year. The voters narrowly elected the dishonest doofus Martin in 2010.
Will they be naïve enough to re-elect him in 344 days?
