WEEKENDER: Irvin Callery's Bifurcated Conundrum

The Martin Chronicles wants to assure the members of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's mouth-brathing hillbilly lynchmob who regularly monitor us that this post is not about some dread medical condition plaguing the first person who has announced he will challenge the tiny tyrant's Reign of Error this fall. You see, "bifurcated conundrum" is just some of thaym-thar fayncy wurds a-meanin' "divided problem".

Okay, what is Irvin Callery's "divided problem"? First, Callery is bound to face an all-out assault on his character launched by the misdirecting Martin-and his snout-in-the-taxpayer-trough- surrogates-on a scale the former Covington mayor has never seen. The coins of the realm in Martinville are LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION. Those coins will be flying as if they were shooting out of slot machines in a Las Vegas casino. And you can take that to the bank.

Our deep cover operatives at the civic club have been watching. They tell us that the mean-spirited Martin and the club's notorious ass clowns are already boasting that "By November 4, voters won't know the difference between Irvin Callery and Bob Due". For the uninitiated, Bob Due is the former Covington Finance Director who is going to prison for embezzling EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS AND FORGING DOCUMENTS. Due began his Covington career under Irvin Callery's mayoral stewardship. Our operatives tell us that the malevolent Martin sees that as a huge opportunity.

We are also told that Martin and the civic club ass hats are already orchestrating a huge door-to-door effort designed to brand-the-relatively-new-to-Villa-Hills-Callery as nothing more than a "Covington Carpet Bagger" desperately missing mayoral power. Once again, Martin has been telling anyone who will listen that "'Covington Callery' is a sure-fire loser".

And what about the people who want Martin tossed out on his ass in the worst way?:

• Many think that Irvin Callery is simply a Martin sycophant.
• Many resent Irvin Callery's connection to and support of "Craigory".
• Many think Irvin Callery is enamored with Martin's personal-amd now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry.
• Many resent Irvin Callery's connection to the unfortunate man who replaced the very popular, railroaded, former-Police Chief Dan Goodenough.

Furthermore, many long-time Villa Hills residents are very reluctant to support a former Covington guy like Irvin Callery, who is virtually sure to keep all of those-sucking-the-taxpayers-dry-Covington guys on staff. Why? The 3.5 square mile area along the banks of the Ohio located just west of Covington became Villa Hills mostly to escape being absorbed by the largest City in Kenton County. These long-time residents aren't sure they want that absorption to happen fifty-two years later.

There is no doubt that Irvin Callery is facing a tough campaign. The former Covington mayor better not just be banking on enough voters who have had more than enough of the mallet-headed Martin's corruption and incompetence. Despite the fact that Martin could not have set the bar any lower, Callery still may not clear that bar if he hasn't prepared to communicate a clear plan for what he will do to restore Villa Hills City Government.

Callery does have one thing going for him. We know you know what that one thing is.

He is not that crooked dumbass Martin.



Burn, Baby, Burn

The Martin Chronicles hopes that the local, long-time political observer who called us earlier today was only kidding. But, given Villa Hills match-stick Mayor Mike Martin's history of illegal destruction of City records, it could very well be true.

It all begins with the announcement that the Villa Hills Civic Club is going to host a family bonfire in celebration of Cincy Business magazine's choice of the tiny town along the Ohio as the best suburb in The Tri-State. That all sounds great. In fact, we'll certainly be there.

But the pundit who called us said that there's a rumor going around town that Martin has just ordered his underling "Craigory" to box up any and all City records that could cause problems for the diminutive dictator in the many current and soon-to-be-filed lawsuits. Why? For transport to and disposal at the aforementioned Civic Club bonfire.

Just in case, we have an operative staking out the City building to watch Martin. If he's seen loading boxes in to either his serial-killer panel van or his massive, environmentally-unfriendly pickup truck, we'll know something bad is in the works-yet again.

Hey, Martin has held record barbecues before. With Martin, we suppose all things are possible.

None of them good-but certainly possible.



BREAKING NEWS: First Hat In The Ring

The Martin Chronicles has learned that former Covington Mayor Irvin "Butch" Callery used the occasion of last night's Sensible Citizens Group meeting to announce he is a candidate for Mayor of Villa Hills. Callery is the first person to say that he is challenging malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin this fall.

We already know what lines of attack Martin plans to use against Callery. We are preparing our full report.

 

Would YOU Trust Him?

The Martin Chronicles loves watching Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin in action. The tiny tyrant is the classic case of someone who betrays his true character only after being given power. And does the little fella love to use and abuse his power.

We talked to several long-time Villa Hills political observers in the aftermath of Martin's brazen request to City Council to give him unfettered authority to spend THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS ANY WAY HE SEES FIT in the upcoming fiscal year. How would that happen? Martin wants City council to pass what is sometimes referred to as a "bottom-line" budget. No line items. No individual department budgets. In other words, no accountability. JUST THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS FOR THE MISMANAGING MARTIN TO SPEND IN ANY WAY HE WANTS.

The observers we spoke with told us how much Martin's view of the City budgeting process has changed since the bygone days when he was a lowly, ineffectual councilmember. Now-Mayor Martin is clearly intoxicated with the power a razor-thin majority of voters granted him in 2010.

We heard hilarious stories of then-Councilmember Martin demanding to go over every single line of proposed City budgets. People recalled Martin fussing and fuming over a hundred and fifteen dollars for office supplies or three thousand dollars annually for fuel for police cruisers. Then-Councilmember Martin's yearly exercise in budget nitwittery would generally eat-up several pointless hours over three or four very lengthy council meetings. In short, it was a colossal waste of time.

Quite simply, then-Councilmember Martin would absolutely despise now-Mayor Martin for his complete unwillingness to work with him or anyone else on City council. Oh, now-Mayor Martin would also absolutely despise then-Councilmember Martin for daring to challenge his absolute authority.

We would pay a very high price for the opportunity to see the spectacle of then-Martin versus now-Martin just once. It would be the incomprehensible force meeting the obfuscating object. A true classic by any definition.

Given Martin's dreadful fiscal track record of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS BEING WASTED ON OVERTIME, MISMANAGEMENT, SHAMELESS SELF-ENRICHMENT, CRONY HIRES, LAWYERS AND LAWSUITS, City Council seems reluctant to simply hand Martin THREE MILLION DOLLARS. That reluctance is more than a little wise. 

Think about it. Martin has SQUANDERED TENS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS PAYING HIS CRONY CORDELIA SCHABER $47.50 PER HOUR TO TOTALLY SCREW UP THE CITY'S FINANCIAL RECORDS.

Council needs just think back a few months ago. Martin was desperately attempting to have council approve HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER MONEY to free him from PERSONAL LIABILITY IN A LAWSUIT HE INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERED.

Oh, yeah. It hasn't been all that long ago that Martin himself signed a City purchase order TO PAY HIMSELF MORE THAN TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS.

It's just been announced that Martin has pissed away ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS-NOT INCLUDING WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY MARTIN'S PERSONAL-AND NOW CITY ATTORNEY TOAD V. MCMURTRY TO "RAILROAD" FORMER POLICE CHIEF DAN GOODENOUGH INTO RETIREMENT.

So now Martin wants City Council complete free reign to spend TAXPAYER MONEY ANY WAY HE WANTS? We just outlined a few of the many ways Martin has squandered YOUR TAX DOLLARS. Will City Council now grant Martin a license to steal. We sure hope not.

What did Forrest Gump's momma tell him? "You can't fix stupid." Well, "You can't fix corrupt" either.

But you can vote out "stupid" and "corrupt" in just 157 days.



 

"Hell yes, I'm lying through my teeth!"

You Just Have To Laugh

The Martin Chronicles just knew the little fella wouldn't be able to control himself at tonight's City Council meeting. We know that Villa Hills megalomaniacal Mayor Mike Martin is like most tin pot dictators who are obsessed with the firm belief that the sun rises and sets because of them. It's simultaneously pathetic and hilarious.

In case you missed it, Martin took the occasion of tonight's council meeting to take nearly full credit for Villa Hills recent recognition in that powerhouse publication, Cincy Business magazine. It was almost too fun to watch for the long-time political reporters who work for the beloved publisher of The Martin Chronicles.

You see, Martin "went off like THE DEVIL in a church the middle of a crowded room". The tiny tyrant almost appeared desperate to absolve himself of all of the terrible things he has DISHONESTLY done to heap GREAT SHAME on Villa Hills over these past nearly-four, dreadful years of his terrible regime. The only way you can truly understand Martin's SHAMELESSNESS is to see it for yourself.

After a lengthy round of bruising chest-beating, the mallet-headed Martin pompously announced that he had graciously set aside some of his precious face time for his underlings-also known as the City Council-to heap additional praise on to the diminutive dictator's "stellar achievement". What happened next was truly priceless.

To their credit, the City Council realized that Martin had just made a complete and utter fool of himself. After all, Cincy Business magazine's recognition was based primarily on the facts that Villa Hills is a beautiful bedroom community and is conveniently located to both CVG and downtown Cincinnati.

Even Martin's supplicant City Council fully understands that Martin has absolutely, positively nothing to do with those two undeniable facts. So, all six councilmembers just sat there, as silent as the proverbial Cigar Store Indian. Yes, it was uncomfortable. But it was funny as hell as well.

You see, a rapidly-growing number of people within and outside the borders of Villa Hills are coming to realize that Villa Hills wasn't recognized for Martin's "efforts" but instead despite Martin's well-documented antics. For instance, ask most members of the Kenton County Mayor's group what they think of Martin. They will not have kind things to say.

The voters will have the opportunity to unclog the over-flowing toilet known as the Martin Administration on November 4.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles is preparing a full report on Martin's attempted power grab to have complete, unchecked control of THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY.]



An Important History Lesson

The Martin Chronicles has been preparing a little history lesson for our readers. This history lesson does not paint a pretty picture for the residents of malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embarrassed Villa Hills. But, simply put, it is the distressing truth. You know the truth, right? It's that important thing you never from the mendacious Martin.

We are going to ask you to travel back with us to the year 1988:

• Vice-President George H. W. Bush defeated his Democrat challenger Michael Dukakis in the Presidential Election.
• A terrorist bomb explodes in a Pan Am 747 over Lockerbie, Scotland, killing everyone aboard.
• Compact disks outsold vinyl records for the very first time.
• Popular movies that year included Rain Man, Mississippi Burning, A Fish Called Wanda and the baseball classic, Bull Durham.
• Writing of baseball, Danny Jackson won twenty-three of thirty-one decisions, Tom Browning pitched a perfect game and manager Pete Rose was apparently betting on baseball games, but the Cincinnati Reds finished second behind the eventual World Series Champion Los Angeles Dodgers.
• The Cincinnati Bengals were the surprise team of the NFL, going all the way to Super Bowl XXIII. The Bengals lost a heart-breaking game to their nemesis San Francisco 49ers in the final minute of the game.

So, what was Villa Hills like in that bygone year of 1988?:

• Villa Hills was considered a "City on the move" in 1988. An area that was once comprised of six farms was growing in to one of the Tri-State area's premiere neighborhoods. Subdivisions like The Orchards and Beckmore Village were still only on someone's drawing board.
• Villa Hills' population was approximately 6,500 residents.
• Villa Hills had one school within its borders.
• The Villa Hills Civic Club was a welcoming place that was a destination point for many of the town's 6,500 residents.
• Villa Hills City Government was lead by long-time resident, and-sometimes-far-too-honest- Bud Cunningham and six councilmembers. Despite the rapid growth, Cunningham and the council were legitimately frugal with the taxpayer's money.
• Villa Hills' Police Department, led by the late Police Chief Michael "Corky" Brown, was comprised of seven, full-time officers who patrolled the well-maintained City streets and kept the one school it was responsible for safe and secure.

Flash forward to May, 2014.:

• Villa Hills City government is now considered by many to be "the laughing stock of the Tri-State" thanks to the well-reported corruption and incompetence of its mismanaging and mendacious Mayor Mike Martin. The dwindling number of Martin apologists can no longer take to social networks accusing WCPO of being "biased" against the mallet-headed Martin.
• Villa Hills population is roughly 7,500 people, and declining in-part because of the sad state of affairs in the Martin-mismanaged City government.
• Villa Hills now has two schools within its borders. The newest school is one of the largest elementary schools in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
• The Villa Hills Civic Club has experienced horrible corruption and is turning away the town's residents in droves because of a few hard-drinking residents parked at the bar every night who want to argue the indefensible case for the corrupt and incompetent Mayor Mike Martin.
• Villa Hills City government is lead by the corrupt and incompetent Mayor Mike Martin, who is wasting hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars in pursuit of his vendetta over his judicially-justified 2007 FORGERY ARREST.
• Villa Hills' Police Department, led by an unfortunate man who was promoted to lead it after about one year of serving as a part-time patrolman, is comprised of five full-time and one part-time officer who are desperately struggling to patrol the City's poorly-maintained streets and trying to keep the two schools in the area safe. Villa Hills is now experiencing an unprecedented crime wave and drug abuse is rampant. Martin is completely responsible for the City government's rapid decline.

It's time for the residents of Villa Hills to wake up and smell some very strong coffee. If they don't, it will be too late. The corrupt and dim-witted Mike Martin has proven himself to be decisively the wrong person for the job. Martin has taken a successful City government and nearly destroyed it through his corrupt behavior and mismanagement. Most residents must now know that local elections do matter and local government is important.

But what will Martin do? Of course, he will tell LIE after LIE about his non-existent "accomplishments". Martin will whine that he needs another four years to clean up the equally non-existent "mess" he claims he inherited.

Remember, Nurse Janet, Nurse Janet's out-of-town, dishonest family, General Zod, Too Fat Tony, the sign-stealing, self-employed life coach and other civic club ne'er-do-wells, Cordelia and Dale Schaber and all of the other Martin cronies who have enriched themselves by sticking their nasty snouts in to the taxpayer trough, the vile Mary Koenig and the stunningly stupid Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour and even more losers will be campaigning hard to get the lawbreaker Martin re-elected. Who knows for sure what impact the work of these LIARS will have?

Think back to 2010. We somehow understand the mouth-breathers, vine-swingers, gun-toters, "Don't Tread On Me" flag-wavers, St. Joe's Heavy Drinking Men Society members, hillbillies and frenzied fanatics who supported "change at any cost". But, even some supposedly-intelligent-but-equally-mean-spirited-retired education professionals supported Martin.

Why? Because they all foolishly believed dumbass things like the most important thing local government should do is mandate the number of cats their neighbor should own. Yes, they were abject fools. But, all of these self-absorbed jack-asses fell for Martin's incredible scam.

This nitwittery led to Martin's razor-thin 2010 victory. Nothing but destruction has followed. Martin has brought nothing short of DISASTER to Villa Hills City government.

And, because of what will most assuredly happen again in 2014, the upcoming election result is still an open question. What will the majority of voters do on November 4?

We'll know in just 161 days.

 



Our Take

The Martin Chronicles knows our many friends and even those who think we are vile and disgusting want to know our take on Villa Hills being rated the best suburb in the Tri-State by Cincy Business magazine. That's easy. We all think it's quite an honor.

We can also see this honor rapidly becoming a political issue. That's too bad. Both Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Kool-Aid drinkers and the growing number of residents who realize that Martin's glaring corruption and incompetence have been a disaster for the City have taken to the social networks to spin the Cincy Business recognition.

They are missing the point made by Cincy Business magazine. Martin has nothing to do with the fact that Villa Hills is indeed a beautiful, bedroom community. Martin has nothing to do with the fact that Villa Hills is conveniently located near CVG and downtown Cincinnati. Both of those high points have been hallmarks of the town since it was founded in 1962.

Also, while Villa Hills crime rate is lower than several other Tri-State communities, the town's crime rate has grown dramatically since Martin's abuse of the local police department began in January, 2011. That is a fact as well.

Heck, The Martin Chronicles would never have taken on our assignment if we didn't realize that Villa Hills is a fine town that's being ruined by the lunatic Martin. Most of the residents are great people who work hard. There is a lot to like about Villa Hills.

The residents should simply enjoy the recognition. It is neither an affirmation nor a condemnation of the mismanaging and corrupt Martin.

But the recognition should serve as a clarion call that a first class City deserves a City government that is far better than the one the mallet-headed Martin has been misrepresenting and mismanaging over these past nearly four years.

Weekender II: Putting A Rumor To Rest

The Martin Chronicles is receiving an inordinate amount of emails and phone calls on this absolutely beautiful Saturday afternoon in the embarrassed burg of Villa Hills. We expected the long Memorial Day Weekend to be relatively quiet, allowing us the opportunity to chase down some major costly-to-the-taxpayers scandals that are about to break. But that hasn't been the case.

So what's been happening? Well, scores of people have been contacting us to learn why a large backhoe is parked along Amsterdam Road. Residents are concerned that their mallet-headed Mayor Mike Martin is using the backhoe to destroy something.

Why? Because many people remember how the lunatic Martin used the bucket of the City's backhoe to crush open the late, great City safe? Oh, yeah. Why ask someone for the safe's combination or pay a few dollars to a trained locksmith to open the safe when you can simply crush it open with a backhoe? Maybe because that's an absolutely crazy idea?

So, anyway, people are concerned that perhaps someone locked themselves out of their house or car. They worry that this "someone" called the City for assistance and the meat-headed Martin brought the backhoe over to crush his way into that "someone's" home or car.

No worries. The Martin Chronicles has learned that the backhoe is being used by the Northern Kentucky Water District to do waterline repairs on Kenridge.

But is Martin wahoo-crazy enough to use a backhoe to crash through a locked home or car door? Well, he told the media that he was "comfortable" with his deranged decision to crush open the City safe several months ago.

So, the answer is "YES"!!!

 



WEEKENDER III: A Not-So-Pleasant Valley Sunday

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher and staff hopes (almost) everyone in our ever-growing audience is enjoying this Memorial Day Weekend, 2014. We also ask you to be sure to take some time to remember all of the members of the military and police and fire personnel who have given what Abraham Lincoln once described as "the last full measure of devotion" to keep all of us safe and secure in the greatest nation that has ever existed on the face of God's wondrous planet Earth.

Sure, there is turmoil and uncertainty all over the globe, including in this amazing country of ours. But if Americans have proven anything to the rest of the world over the past two hundred and thirty-eight years, it is that almost any wrong can eventually be righted.

And so it is in the embarrassed City of Villa Hills, Kentucky, nestled along the rolling banks of the powerful Ohio River. A diminutive dictator named Mike Martin crawled up from the sewers of Norwood, Ohio and LIED his way in to the leadership position of that once-proud town in the fall of 2010. What has followed over the next nearly four, long, miserable years has been a total disgrace. But we are nowhere near the final chapter for this embattled burg.

Why? Because the founders of this great nation struggled mightily to create a system of government that allowed for the opportunity of self-correction. Not by bullets, but by ballots. And those next set of ballots will be cast on November 4, 2014. That is only 162 days away.

Thanks to America's founders, the voters of Villa Hills will have the opportunity to decide if Martin has earned the right to serve for another four years:

• Will the voters simply keep their doors barricaded and ignore the HUGE SPIKE IN CRIME that has been created by Martin's relentless vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department? Or, will they hold their malicious mayor accountable for the incessant vendetta he has waged at THEIR GREAT EXPENSE OVER HIS 2007 FORGERY ARREST?
• Will the voters hold their collective noses and ignore Martin's non-stop LIES? Or, will they hold the tiny tyrant accountable for those LIES?
• Will the voters ignore the worries about their shrinking wallets and ignore Martin's MULTIPLE TAX INCREASES? Or, will they hold the diminutive dictator accountable for his OUTRAGEOUS, TAXPAYER-FUNDED RIP-OFFS?
• Will the voters ignore the fact that Martin's incessant 2012 whining that he just needed a new City Council who was willing to work with him was nothing more than a SELF-SERVING CAMPAIGN LIE? Or, will they toss out self-serving nitwits like the crook Martin, the vile, ancient crocodile Mary Koenig, the dimbulb Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour and Flyin' Brian Wischer on their asses on November 4?
• Will the voters choose to ignore Martin using TAXPAYER MONEY to disgracefully hire unqualified people and cronies like BUCKET-HEADED $47.50 PER HOUR BOOK-KEEPER Cordelia Schaber, disqualified people like the miniature mullah's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry and pandering butt-lickers like the ne'er-do-well "Craigory"? Or, will they decide to toss this entire motley crew out on their asses on November 4?
• Will the voters turn a blind eye to the fact that Martin was convicted on SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT, received a dressing-down from a respected judge for HIS ILLEGAL DESTRUCTION OF CITY RECORDS and got hammered with a CONFIDENTIAL REPRIMAND FROM THE VILLA HILLS ETHICS BOARD FOR HIS MISUSE OF CITY PERSONNEL AND RESOURCES? Or, will they hold Martin accountable for his GROSS DISREGARD OF THE ETHICS LAWS?
• Will the voters believe the LIES of the collective nitwittery of the self-employed "life-coaches", overweight car salesmen and the other abject fools who remained silent as some crook ripped-off hundreds of thousands of dollars from the civic club? Or, will the majority of voters finally realize that Martin is nothing more than a lowbrow CROOK himself?

If the voters rightfully choose to ignore nitwits like the civic club assclowns like General Zod and Too Fat Tony and oddballs like former-Council-geek Mike Pope on November 4, 2014, Mike Martin will be looking for some other venue to RUIN and RIP-OFF after December 31, 2014.

The Martin Chronicles is counting down the days.

 



WEEKENDER: Any Day Now...

The Martin Chronicles reporters are hearing a great deal of grumbling from the folks who reside in the section of malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills known as Amsterdam Village. Many of these folks are wondering aloud when their mismanaging mayor is finally going to get around to repairing the venerable Amsterdam Village sign that was reportedly hit by a car quite some time ago.

Martin's lame excuse? He is waiting to see if the daredevil driver who allegedly decided to careen in to the sign has insurance that will pay for the repairs. Uh-huh. Sure.

The asshats at the civic club are most likely applauding their buddy's delay as some sham sign of frugality. But people with triple-digit IQ's view this seemingly-endless embarrassment in a different light.

Here's what we're hearing:

• "Well, I guess its symbolic of Martin's destruction of Villa Hills."
• "How much longer to we have to put up with Martin's stupid $#!t?"
• "Isn't that little dip$#!t some kind of hack handyman? Why doesn't he fix it himself?"
• "Doesn't that jerkwad drive past the sign almost everyday? Does he think its okay?"
• "Can't the road crew fix it? What the he!!? No streets are getting fixed."
• "Just another reason to get rid of the little bastard."
• "Martin, that little ----sucker!"
• "Martin sucks."
• "Martin can't suck enough."

These were the "kindest" things are reporters heard. Just what a creepy guy who's mentor was just annihilated in the Republican primary for Kenton County Judge Executive needs to hear before he faces a general election of his own.

Perhaps Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry should attempt to explain the concept of subrogation to the mallet-headed mayor.

Truly Tasteless Mayors

The Martin Chronicles has received numerous reports recently about some truly tasteless comments made by two nitwit Kenton County mayors These comments were made at -of all places-a funeral home.

It seems the two mayors were beating their chests, telling anyone who was foolish enough to listen that "they are the only two mayors in Northern Kentucky who have the balls to do what had to be done". About what were these two knuckle-draggers bragging?

Well, both of these mouth-breathing mayors fired their Police Chiefs. Yep, that is a real reason to be proud.

You shouldn't be surprised to learn that one of the mayors was malfeasant Mike Martin of Villa Hills. And here we always thought it was Villa Hills Councilwoman Mary Koenig who has the balls.

If by chance Martin says the aforementioned cock-strutting never happened, it will come as no surprise to you that he is LYING.

What else is new?

Analysis: The Tyrants Are Toppling

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher is throwing a joyous primary election-night shindig for his hard-working staff. Everyone is celebrating the stinging-and-well-deserved-rebuke laid on incumbent County Judge Executive Steve Arlinghaus by the voters of Kenton County. The heavily-favored Arlinghaus was soundly defeated by upstart Kris Knochelmann in a near-landslide.

We had several reporters doing exit-polling in various Kenton County precincts. We knew the mean-spirited Arlinghaus was in deep trouble very early in the day. We learned that voters had grown tired of the wasteful spending and incessant tax hikes that had become the hallmarks of the Arlinghaus regime.

Despite the fact that Villa Hills is Arlinghaus' hometown, voters in his very own precincts expressed hard feelings about the-now-six-month-lame-duck-incumbent Judge Executive.
Why were so many Villa Hillians upset?

Well, when Arlinghaus finally looks back at what went wrong, he should realize that the beginning of his end as Judge Executive began when he described the perfectly legitimate investigation in to the OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin as "a witch hunt", he made a tremendous mistake.

Martin's unleashed lawlessness following that investigation made it quite clear to voters that Martin is indeed a crook. The voters of Villa Hills had the chance to take their anger against Martin out on Arlinghaus. And they did so decisively. "A witch hunt", indeed.

Many voters also said that Arlinghaus official intervention on behalf of the undeserving Martin signaled a "green light" to the diminutive dictator to finish his demolition of the Villa Hills Police Department. Villa Hills voters strongly resented Arlinghaus for clearing the way for Martin' terrible treatment of several honorable law enforcement officers.

We'll have more reportage on other election-night victims of their unwise association with the mallet-headed Martin very soon. It was a very bad night for the bad guys. Huzzah!

The king is dead! Long live the king!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Our investigative reporters are digging, digging, digging in to the identity of the man many exiting Villa Hills' voters seemed to despise. Most simply referred to this reviled man as "Craigory". As soon as we learn the identity of "Craigory", we'll provide you a full report.]



What Settlement?

The Martin Chronicles wonders if you remember the LIE Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin told after he screwed former Police Chief Dan Goodenough out of his job. Think back. After Martin's shameless public effort to discredit Goodenough, most of Villa Hills was surprised-and disappointed-when Goodenough agreed to retire.

Again, what was Martin's LIE? Well, the tiny tyrant FALSELY promised to release the details of the agreement he reached with Goodenough "in ten days".

But guess what? There never was any real agreement. Why? Because Martin is a DISHONEST PHONY. Martin and his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry are not honoring the framework of the agreement that was reached prior to Goodenough announcing he would retire.  

Several sources say that Martin and McMurtry never intended to honor the agreement. It was just another one of their many con jobs. The whole kangaroo court was all about Martin's vendetta sparked by his 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

Martin simply wanted to publicly embarrass Goodenough and fire him. Screwing the former Chief out of any settlement Martin and McMurtry FALSELY promised is just icing on the cake to the both of them.

We have also learned that Martin refuses to sign any agreement that may eventually be reached. Why? Because he wants to be able to claim that his "golden moment" council "forced" him to settle with Goodenough.

It is an election year, after all.

Eminent Domain?!?!

The Martin Chronicles is investigating a widely-circulating rumor in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. For the purposes of full disclosure and total transparency, we must write that this is now only an unsubstantiated rumor.

Here it is. We feel fairly confident that the reports of Martin, Councilwoman Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour and Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry's efforts to snatch cell tower revenues away from the civic club ass clowns are accurate. It makes sense. Martin needs more TAXPAYER MONEY to pay all of the legal fees he is incurring.

But now the story is growing. Several sources are reporting that there is a great deal of chatter about a Martin-hatched plan to grab the civic club property through eminent domain. For the uninitiated, eminent domain is a government entity's power to take private property for "public use".

For those of you who believe that such a bold move could be stopped in court, you had better re-think your belief. The only thing a judge would decide is just how much TAXPAYER MONEY Martin would have to pay the civic club ass clowns to take their property. That is settled law.

So why might Martin and Menninger-Isenhour even think about such a bold move? We do know that Menninger-Isenhour is the Chairperson of the City's Recreation Committee. She has publicly expressed her frustrations over her dealings with the civic club on multiple occasions.

We also know that the almost-totally-built-out Villa Hills makes the acreage on Rogers Road prime real estate. It would be worth a large sum of money for a mismanaging mayor who might just decide to turn around and sell the land to a developer. Governments are statutorily prohibited from using eminent domain as a way to "make money".

But when have legal prohibitions ever stopped Martin? His personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry will happily lead the way. Why not? Just imagine the countless TAXPAYER-FUNDED billable hours once again defending the indefensible.

We have learned that eminent domain rumors have surfaced periodically over the past several years. Some theorize that General Zod and the other half-baked directors whose plot to wage a mud-slinging war against any Martin opponent(s) has leaked out are looking for a way to deflect attention away from that embarrassing revelation. Sources tell us that this revelation has hurt the bar and steak night business at the club. As well it should.

Others believe it is the misdirecting Martin himself who started the rumor. Why would he do that? Well, first of all the miniature mullah is dead nuts crazy. But think about it for a moment. Martin has been taking a public beating for the underhanded way he railroaded former Police Chief Dan Goodenough. A large segment of the population are very upset that Martin told a BOLD-FACED LIE, claiming that Goodenough was "just taking a few days off".

These rumors may be nothing more than rumors. But, given Martin's now-long history of bizarre moves, who knows?

The voters of Villa Hills will get the chance to decide if they want to give Martin more than "a few days off" in just 169 days.

 

 

WEEKENDER II: It's Pure Branch Norwoodian

The Martin Chronicles really loves (almost all of) its readers. We have received a steady stream of phone calls and emails from a large number of them expressing their opinions on recent turns of events in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's troubled town of Villa Hills. Oh, you know, the problems mostly stem from the fact that Martin is a mouth-breathing dumbass. But let's address the very recent communications anyway.

Literally hundred of communications have come in to the Saturday night crew manning the ramparts of the malevolent Martin's demolished democracy complaining about the Covington connection leading to the recent hiring of the tattered town's new Police Chief. The Number One comment? "This ain't Covington!" Sure enough.

But we don't think this has too much to do with Covington. After all, Villa Hills mostly came in to existence in the early 1960's to resist Covington's attempted annexation of the suburbs in the area that has grown in to a once-respected Northern Kentucky community in a brazen attempt to grab tax money.

Sure, we believe a former Covington mayor who now lives in Villa Hills influenced the meat-headed Martin's vapid decision to hire a former Covington Police Captain to serve as an embattled Police Chief in the tiny tyrants tattered town. In point of fact, several sources tell us so. Okay. So what?

Sure, we totally believe the sources who tell us that Martin ran like a scared rabbit when The Martin Chronicles correctly reported on his despicable, original plan to hire a longtime crony who was looking for a way for VILLA HILLS TAXPAYERS TO FUND A THIRD TAXPAYER-FUNDED RETIREMENT. Martin is a total idiot who is being used by a number of people to suck in the teat of VILLA HILLS TAXPAYERS. Okay. So what?

Sure, we understand the angst of people with a triple-digit IQ in Villa Hills who understand that the mallet-headed Martin is not much more than an inept lawbreaker. But we still say "This ain't Covington".

No, what Martin is mindlessly doing is the purest form of the very worst of real hometown, Norwood.
 

WEEKENDER: For The Record

The Martin Chronicles wants to clearly state our official position on Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's recent hiring of a new Police Chief. You remember, the fellow who is replacing Dan Goodenough. Yes, that Dan Goodenough. The former Chief the malevolent Martin railroaded out of his job. This after Martin LIED to everyone, saying that "Dan Goodenough is just taking a few days off".

This will be the only time we write that the new fellow was promoted from a part-time patrolman position to Chief after working in Villa Hills for only about a year. This will be the only time we write about the interesting connection between the new fellow who quickly rose through the ranks from part-time patrolman to Chief and a former Covington Mayor who was serving on Martin's now-disbanded Civil Service Commission.

You see-unlike the miscreant Martin and some of his allies on the current City Council-The Martin Chronicles carefully avoids criticizing men and women who must wear body armor to work everyday and spend their time in a dangerous profession that often has them coming in contact with unsavory characters. In point of fact, the new fellow who was promoted from a part-time patrolman position to Chief after working in Villa Hills for only about a year will now have to deal with unsavory characters all of the time.

Who, you ask? Unsavory characters like the mallet-headed Martin, Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry, the vile and disgusting Mary Koenig, the harebrained Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour and the dangerously ambitious City Clerk Craig T. Bohman who happily took a nearly THIRTY-THREE PERCENT TAXPAYER-FUNDED PAY INCREASE after willfully assisting the tiny tyrant in destroying the long careers of Goodenough and the Assistant Police Chief. We think the new fellow is going to have his hands quite full with that motley crew.

Everyone needs to remember that Martin bears full responsibility for what has transpired. You also need to realize that Martin rests his flat little head on his pillow at night with the unshakeable belief that he has done a great thing by dismantling the police department piece by long-serving piece. Martin is absolutely convinced that the huge surge in crime in Villa Hills has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he has run off SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT OF THE VERY EXPERIENCED POLICE OFFICERS he inherited in January, 2011.

Why? Because Martin has treated the police department like dirt. All of the former officers will confirm that fact. The reason? Because Martin will be forevermore sore about his appellate court-justified 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

Despite the fact that Martin is a mouth-breathing simpleton, he has to realize that managing an educated, intelligent group of police officers is in no way like his mismanagement of the poor bastards he ran in to the ground at the cookie factory he helped mismanage out of business. Even still, he has proven incapable of changing his 19th Century, autocratic style to lead people who are far smarter than him.

You cannot believe that Martin has brutalized the police department because he wanted to save the taxpayers "a whole bunch of money". The facts simply don't bear out that position. How can anyone claim they are trying to save taxpayer money when they are wasting HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN UNNECESSARY LEGAL FEES? That is a cruel hoax on the taxpayers.

Perhaps you are like the asshats at the civic club who continue to believe that Martin's destruction of City services and the lowering of Villa Hills standing amongst the Cities of our Tri-State are good things. If so, you should probably vote to re-elect the mindless Martin on November 4.

But if you believe that Villa Hills should do far better than a corrupt incompetent in the mayor's office, you need to give strong consideration to Martin's opponent(s) in the fall election. Decision day is creeping ever closer.

That decision day is now about 170 days away.

For Our Many New Readers

The Martin Chronicles continues to be amazed by how rapidly its readership continues to grow. We have new readers coming onboard every single day. We thank you all.

Our new readers would be well served by going back in to The Martin Chronicles archives to get up to speed on the magnitude of Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin's corruption and incompetence. Martin's three-and-a-half years in office have been so full of problems that its actually hard to comprehend.

Many people are amazed that the dim-witted, duplicitous Martin remains in office. But there he is. Not only is he still in office, he fully intends to run for re-election. His dirtbag 2010 campaign was the disgusting stuff of legend. We expect that his 2014 re-election campaign will be even worse.

Why? Because the only way he can deflect attention away from his own terrible record is to pour mud all over his opponent(s). And Martin, his ass clown civic club pals and his infamous hillbilly lynchmob will most certainly plumb new depths for mudslinging.

How else can Martin possibly deflect attention away from:

• The fact that he received a REPRIMAND FROM THE VILLA HILLS ETHICS BOARD for his misuse of City personnel and resources?
• The fact that Martin received a stern rebuke from a respected judge for his ILLEGAL DESTRUCTION OF CITY REORDS?
• The fact that Martin has totally mismanaged the City's annual budgets?
• The fact that Martin was CONVICTED ON SEVEN COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY?
• The fact that Martin hired his personal attorney to serve as the TAXPAYER-FUNDED City Attorney?
• The fact that Martin was forced to admit that he has been LYING for years about his secret plan to disband the Villa Hills Police Department?
• The fact that Martin walked away from his opposition to a City Administrator for Villa Hills when he gave his City Clerk a THIRTY-THREE PERCENT TAXPAYER-FUNDED PAY INCREASE to assume the role of City Administrator?
• The fact that Martin has disgracefully walked away from his "solemn" pledge to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX?
• The fact that he was caught in a bold-faced LIE when he FALSELY claimed that former Police Chief Dan Goodenough was "just taking a few days off"?
• The fact that Martin has SQUANDERED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON UNNECESSAY LEGAL FEES AND LAWYER?
• The fact that Martin and his new council have INCREASED THE CITY'S INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY NEARLY FORTY PERCENT?!?!?

Yes, it has been so terribly bad that it is almost unbelievable. How could this possibly happen? But it has happened. Every bit of it. And a whole lot more.

That is a fact.

More On The Civic Club's Diabolical Plot

The Martin Chronicles have never hidden the fact that we hold the ass clowns from the civic club in very low regard. In our opinion, they represent the worst of the worst. But we are still going to offer them this warning if they still intend to move forward with their now heavily-documented plan to slime opponents of their bad-actor buddy, Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.

Be advised, the Internal Revenue Service will not waste any time trying to make a distinction between the efforts of a civic club president, board members, directors or even sergeant-at-arms in their official roles and in their personal roles. Why? Because the evidence of their official plot has already been captured on high-quality video. Boy, howdy.

You see, we have learned that the high-powered attorney who has been hired to take this case has no intention of sitting back while the Martin operatives who serve in leadership positions at the civic club try to slime Martin opponents "supposedly" on their own. As that high-powered attorney puts it, "that dog won't hunt".

These civic club fools also better be well aware that a well-placed group of residents is already in place to watch their every move. These residents will not allow anybody in a leadership position at the civic club to get away with the shenanigans they have pulled in support of the mallet-headed Martin now since at least 2010. The days of LIBEL, SLANDER AND DEFAMATION are now OFFICIALLY OVER.

Oh, if they intend to send "anonymous" mailings or distribute other anonymous door-to-door defamation to the voters of Villa Hills, they had better think twice. Why? Well, maybe they might oughta ask Jerry Bamberger about the inherent dangers in engaging in those activities. You see, people are watching you very, very closely.

On the other hand, maybe we should hope they do try. It might be the best way to finally clean the rats out of that nasty nest.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Given the fact that Martin has been working with his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry to snatch cell tower revenue from the civic club, we aren't really sure why these civic club ass hats still worship the tiny tyrant.]

 



People Are Now Closely Watching

The Martin Chronicles can tell when we get people's attention. Daily readership and post readership are the best indicators. Judging by the incredible spike in both gauges for yesterday's post about the dastardly- but-no-longer-secret- plan formulated by some of the leadership of the civic club board to attack potential opponents of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin, people are now closely watching.

We've also received numerous calls and emails from readers about this shocking revelation. We'll tell you what we told all of them. There is absolute proof. It's amazing how good the sound on today's video phones are. It's equally amazing how stupid some people can be when they reveal their clandestine plans in public. We've seen several of the videos. None of them bode well for the future of the civic club as it exists today.

Be advised, this is not an effort being undertaken by The Martin Chronicles. The foolish revelations about the plans of some in leadership positions at the civic club has taken on a life of its own and has nothing to do with us. As always, The Martin Chronicles remains the observer of the corruption and incompetence of the Martin Misadministration, Martin's TAXPAYER-FUNDED goon squad and Martin's notorious hillbilly lynchmob.

We have learned that this independent group has already retained  very talented legal counsel. This attorney has prepared all of the information-including the video evidence-to be sent to the Internal Revenue Service.

We have also learned that a network of people is already in place to look for any sign that those in the civic club leadership who hatched this diabolical plan are beginning to move that plan forward. That's when all hell will break loose.

You see, the lawyer this group has hired does not plan to imitate the mendacious Martin's pernicious pattern of using "anonymous letters from concerned citizens". No, this attorney will publicly step forward to deliver the evidence to the Internal Revenue Service and to explain that evidence in detail to the media. This attorney-and the group that hired this attorney-have had enough of the below-the-belt tactics that has been the hallmark of Martin and his ilk for the last several years.

Enough is enough.

The Civic Club's 501(c)(3) Status

The Martin Chronicles previously reported about the direct threats made by members of the newly-elected Villa Hills Civic Club Board of Directors. What were those direct threats? They are threatening to launch vicious and baseless attacks against the integrity of one potential mayoral candidate against Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.

Well, isn't that a fine "howdy do"? These numbskulls still haven't figured out what a corrupt and incompetent skunk their buddy Martin has proven himself to clearly be. Or, maybe they just don't care.

We are very happy that these threats were made in public in front of multiple witnesses. Why? Because if these morons move forward with their disgusting plan, they may finally drag the civic club under with them. Given the recent checkered history of the malicious Martin's favorite watering hole, that may very well be the best fate for the club.

You see, these threats are clearly what the IRS describes as "political activity". If these chowder heads carry out these threats, their status as a 501(c)(3) tax entity will be in grave danger. Why? Because civic-minded residents are already planning to take this information to the IRS. The civic club will nor survive as a "for-profit" business.

The IRS is very clear about this. Read their official position about 501(c)(3)'s political activity:

Under the Internal Revenue Code, all section 501(c)(3) organizations are absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for elective public office. Contributions to political campaign funds or public statements of position (verbal or written) made on behalf of the organization in favor of or in opposition to any candidate for public office clearly violate the prohibition against political campaign activity.  Violating this prohibition may result in denial or revocation of tax-exempt status and the imposition of certain excise taxes.

This is very important. The IRS doesn't say, "we hope 501(c)(3)'s don't do this". The IRS doesn't say, "501(c)(3)'s are discouraged from engaging in political activity". It's far more clear.

The IRS says that 501(c)(3)'s are "absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating, or intervening in, any political campaign". The penalty? "Violating this prohibition my result in denial or revocation of tax-exempt status and the imposition of certain excise taxes". Because of the evidence compiled by engaged residents, readers  can change that "may" to a "will".

Go ahead General Zod. Make our day.


WEEKENDER: The (Almost) Human Bowling Ball

The Martin Chronicles wants to make it abundantly clear to our vast audience that we hold Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin fully responsible for the lawlessness he has let loose on the once-proud town over which he now disgracefully presides. Yes, he's dumber than a cinder block. But he still has enough brain activity to know what he's done and continues to do.

Martin has mostly destroyed the Villa Hills City government and its once-respected police force because he wanted revenge for his 2007 FORGERY ARREST. Martin has intentionally defamed, libeled and slandered the reputations of several undeserving public officials and harassed and intimidated long-serving employees out of their jobs because he is nothing more than a petty prick. All of that is the truth.

But, having written that important disclaimer, we have to admit that we do like the analogy a long-time Villa Hills resident recently shared with our beloved publisher. To what did this veteran Villa Hillian compare Martin? A bowling ball.

You may think that the comparison relates to the fact that Martin's cranium is as empty as that bowling ball. Or, you may believe that the comparison describes the fact that Martin generally leaves little more than destruction in his mindless wake. While both suspicions are correct, that resident drew the analogy to mean more than that.

You see, the analogy also describes the fact that others are rolling Martin like a bowling ball to wreak their own desired destruction. How so?

• A second-time-around Council Hag is rolling Martin to wreak the desired destruction to even the score for the failure of her own hand-picked former mayor.
• A jowly County Judge Executive is rolling Martin to wreak the desired destruction to increase that bilious blowhard's hegemony over the municipalities in his fiefdom.
• A former Crescent Springs Police Chief is rolling Martin to wreak the desired destruction of a police department he has envied for many years.
• A group of civic club ass clowns is rolling Martin to wreak the desired destruction of a City government they hate because it was revealed that they were up to their ear lobes in an embezzlement scandal that ripped-off hundreds of thousands of dollars from dues-paying club members.

The list is much longer than that. But we're saving the rest for a future post. There are still 178 days till election days after all. Besides, we are sure of one thing.

The gutter snipe Martin will eventually roll right back in to the gutter where he truly belongs.





It's HEDLEY!

The Martin Chronicles has learned that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin held a 2014  re-election campaign kick-off event hosted by the ass clowns at the Civic Club. It was attended by the very best of Martin's notorious hillbilly lynchmob.

In other words, the Civic Club bar was full of rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull d#&es, train robbers, bank robbers, a$$-kickers, s#!t-kickers and Koenigs. Sources tell us that it was a quite a rally for the little wahoo messiah from Norwood.

Observers tell us that Martin reassured the assembled mob of ne'er-do-wells by telling them that his "operatives are already busy getting dirt on potential opponents". We suspect that officials from the highest levels of Kenton County government are some of Martin's obfuscating operatives.

We wonder if any of those potential opponents had a group of respected judges opine that they had committed FORGERY for signing their deceased mother's name on their deceased mother's checks, pocketing the proceeds so that other members of the family who were also entitled to the money received nothing? We guess we'll find out soon enough.

Will the upcoming election be ugly? Will it bring more embarrassment to the already-embarrassed town of Villa Hills? You bet it will.

That's why we look forward to covering it every single day.

[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Sources have told us that The Martin Chronicles reportage on Martin's DISHONEST "search" for former Police Chief Dan Goodenough replacement changed his decision. We're good with that.]

What's Up Now?

Martin Chronicles sources tell us they recently saw Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin along with Councilmembers Marty Koenig, Holly Menninger-Isenhour and "some bald guy" at a local establishment. We are told that they had papers spread out on the table and were having a "very serious" discussion.

These sources say that Martin had his glasses up on top of his head, was tapping his pen on the table and that his face was "as red as a beet". We doubt that means that the discussion was pleasant.

We are also being told that both Koenig and Menninger-Isenhour were "very animated". In fact, one observer said that Menninger-Isenhour was waving her arms "as if she was trying to fly". Again, we doubt that means that the discussion was pleasant.

Was that "some bald guy" Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney? We don't know that yet.

But we're going to find out.

Yep. Yet Another Milestone.

The Martin Chronicles humbly accepts the role as the number one source for news about Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's unleashed lawlessness and mismanagement. We have just welcomed our 220,000th visitor. Even our beloved publisher is pleasantly surprised by our incredible reception since we launched our pesky, little blog on October 8, 2011. A heartfelt "THANK YOU" to all of our readers, even if you think we're "vile and disgusting".

We are also pleased that much of the dinosaur media in the greater Tri-state area has figured out what a dishonest scoundrel the misdirecting Martin most certainly is. It brings us no small amount of satisfaction to know-and we do know-that many of the best dinosaur media reporters in the area check The Martin Chronicles for story leads.

Remember when some of Martin's social network supporters used to condemn WCPO-TV Channel 9 for being "biased" against the miscreant Martin? Wasn't that a hoot? Now that all of the local television outlets have accurately demonstrated that Martin is a LIAR, we don't hear much from the Martin supporters on the various social networks, do we? The defining moment? When Martin stuck his mug in front of every camera he could find and LIED to everyone, saying that former Police Chief Dan Goodenough was "taking a few days off".

We also take great pride in the knowledge that we are firmly "in the heads" of Martin's TAXPAYER-FUNDED GOON SQUAD. We loved watching Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry squander TAXPAYER MONEY at Goodenough's dismissal hearing trying to find out who The Martin Chronicles is. Hey Toad, you may be surprised to learn that you work with at least one of us every single day.

We also know that we owe our success to a local government that is totally out of control. We would never have been so well-received had it not been for the likes of Mike Pope, Jim Noll, Mary Koenig, Holly B. Menninger Isenhour, the "Don't Tread On Me" flag-waving Liberty League lunatics, Nurse Janet, Brian Wischer, Cordelia and Dale Schaber, the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX, Sweater Boy, The St. Joe's Heavy Drinking Men's Society, Summer Berger, Crazy Joe Davola, Dave Hilgeford, Toad V. McMurtry, the Villa Hills Ethics Board, Craig T. Bohman, Wanda Widebottom, General Zod, Too Fat Tony, Joe Seeameasigntosteal and the rest of the ass clowns at the Civic Club, Phil and Regina Harmon, Steve Jowlinghaus, EDDIE, the mysterious President of the NKAPC, Paul DePaul and, of course, the focus of our "right-on-the-money" reportage, the malevolent Mike Martin. These villains, airheads and many more folks make every single day a true adventure.

We'll know if we get the chance to close up shop and move on to our next assignment in just 183 days.

 

WEEKENDER III: Thank The Great Spirit For Loose Lips

The Martin Chronicles' informants are very busy. What they tell us leads us to offer a public service. If our readers are wondering what the public service is, stand by. We have a piece of advice that we hope a certain pinhead councilwoman decides to ignore.

But here it is anyway. When that pinheaded councilwoman goes to the Civic Club to kill whatever may be left of her obviously-diminished brain cells, she might ought-a keep her big, ugly yap SHUT.

But, brothers and sisters, we are all very happy that the nincompoop councilwoman decided to run her big mouth at the Civic Club. Because it tells us that while VERY BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING FOR THE TAXPAYERS OF VILLA HILLS THANKS TO VILLA HILLS MALFEASANT MAYOR MIKE MARTIN, a good thing may have finally happened for the railroaded former Police Chief.

We are so happy that we're all reminded of lines from a very funky, uplifting song our beloved publisher frequently pipes in to the palatial offices he provides. If you don't know the song, you should track it down. The song is performed by Pharrell Williams. You probably won't be surprised that the title of the song is "Happy".

So what are the Pharrell Williams song lines that we think of based on what we have learned from our undercover observers?

Here comes bad news, talking this and that.

But give me all you got, and don't hold it back.

Well, I should probably warn you, I'll be just fine.

No offense to you, don't waste your time, here's why-

 

Because I'm HAPPY.

If Martin and his goon squad aren't happy about the impact of a settlement with the poorly-treated former Police Chief, it must be good-and finally fair-for that former Police Chief. If it's BAD NEWS FOR THE TAXAPAYERS, well, THAT'S MARTIN'S FAULT. The voters elected Martin, after all.

As you listen to the song, clap along if you believe that HAPPINESS IS THE TRUTH.

WEEKENDER II: A Whole New Version Of "Double Dipping"

The Martin Chronicles is very blessed to have an informant in the law firm where Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry works. Our law firm spy placed a phone call directly to our beloved publisher. You know, the great guy we affectionately refer to as "The Batman".

So, anyway, this snitch suggests that somebody requests a copy of the legal fees related to the HARASSMENT AND INTIMIDATION lawsuit ousted Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman has filed against the mismanaging Martin. Why? Because it appears that Toad has handed off the responsibility of dealing with Schutzman's very serious- and very COSTLY- case to someone who we will call-to protect her identity-Libby McCord.

Again, anyway, the person who files this Open Records request needs to dig in to the bills. Why? Well, they might discover that both the person we are calling "Libby McCord" and Toad V. McMurtry ARE DOUBLE-BILLING THE TAXPAYERS OF VILLA HILLS FOR THE SAME WORK.

Sure, the misdirecting Martin's vapid apparatchiks Koenig, Menninger-Isenhour and Wischer will ignore the obvious. But we all know why. They are all getting something out of what was correctly-predicted as Martin's "unleashed lawlessness" in October, 2012.

The nitwits who are insisting that "this mayor does great things for people" may want to re-think their foolish statements. Why? Because Martin's MISDEEDS ARE COSTING THE TAXPAYERS A FORTUNE.

And Martin will continue to be closely watched.