Weekender II: Putting A Rumor To Rest

The Martin Chronicles is receiving an inordinate amount of emails and phone calls on this absolutely beautiful Saturday afternoon in the embarrassed burg of Villa Hills. We expected the long Memorial Day Weekend to be relatively quiet, allowing us the opportunity to chase down some major costly-to-the-taxpayers scandals that are about to break. But that hasn't been the case.

So what's been happening? Well, scores of people have been contacting us to learn why a large backhoe is parked along Amsterdam Road. Residents are concerned that their mallet-headed Mayor Mike Martin is using the backhoe to destroy something.

Why? Because many people remember how the lunatic Martin used the bucket of the City's backhoe to crush open the late, great City safe? Oh, yeah. Why ask someone for the safe's combination or pay a few dollars to a trained locksmith to open the safe when you can simply crush it open with a backhoe? Maybe because that's an absolutely crazy idea?

So, anyway, people are concerned that perhaps someone locked themselves out of their house or car. They worry that this "someone" called the City for assistance and the meat-headed Martin brought the backhoe over to crush his way into that "someone's" home or car.

No worries. The Martin Chronicles has learned that the backhoe is being used by the Northern Kentucky Water District to do waterline repairs on Kenridge.

But is Martin wahoo-crazy enough to use a backhoe to crash through a locked home or car door? Well, he told the media that he was "comfortable" with his deranged decision to crush open the City safe several months ago.

So, the answer is "YES"!!!