WEEKENDER: Irvin Callery's Bifurcated Conundrum

The Martin Chronicles wants to assure the members of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's mouth-brathing hillbilly lynchmob who regularly monitor us that this post is not about some dread medical condition plaguing the first person who has announced he will challenge the tiny tyrant's Reign of Error this fall. You see, "bifurcated conundrum" is just some of thaym-thar fayncy wurds a-meanin' "divided problem".

Okay, what is Irvin Callery's "divided problem"? First, Callery is bound to face an all-out assault on his character launched by the misdirecting Martin-and his snout-in-the-taxpayer-trough- surrogates-on a scale the former Covington mayor has never seen. The coins of the realm in Martinville are LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION. Those coins will be flying as if they were shooting out of slot machines in a Las Vegas casino. And you can take that to the bank.

Our deep cover operatives at the civic club have been watching. They tell us that the mean-spirited Martin and the club's notorious ass clowns are already boasting that "By November 4, voters won't know the difference between Irvin Callery and Bob Due". For the uninitiated, Bob Due is the former Covington Finance Director who is going to prison for embezzling EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS AND FORGING DOCUMENTS. Due began his Covington career under Irvin Callery's mayoral stewardship. Our operatives tell us that the malevolent Martin sees that as a huge opportunity.

We are also told that Martin and the civic club ass hats are already orchestrating a huge door-to-door effort designed to brand-the-relatively-new-to-Villa-Hills-Callery as nothing more than a "Covington Carpet Bagger" desperately missing mayoral power. Once again, Martin has been telling anyone who will listen that "'Covington Callery' is a sure-fire loser".

And what about the people who want Martin tossed out on his ass in the worst way?:

• Many think that Irvin Callery is simply a Martin sycophant.
• Many resent Irvin Callery's connection to and support of "Craigory".
• Many think Irvin Callery is enamored with Martin's personal-amd now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry.
• Many resent Irvin Callery's connection to the unfortunate man who replaced the very popular, railroaded, former-Police Chief Dan Goodenough.

Furthermore, many long-time Villa Hills residents are very reluctant to support a former Covington guy like Irvin Callery, who is virtually sure to keep all of those-sucking-the-taxpayers-dry-Covington guys on staff. Why? The 3.5 square mile area along the banks of the Ohio located just west of Covington became Villa Hills mostly to escape being absorbed by the largest City in Kenton County. These long-time residents aren't sure they want that absorption to happen fifty-two years later.

There is no doubt that Irvin Callery is facing a tough campaign. The former Covington mayor better not just be banking on enough voters who have had more than enough of the mallet-headed Martin's corruption and incompetence. Despite the fact that Martin could not have set the bar any lower, Callery still may not clear that bar if he hasn't prepared to communicate a clear plan for what he will do to restore Villa Hills City Government.

Callery does have one thing going for him. We know you know what that one thing is.

He is not that crooked dumbass Martin.