Tonight's Episode, "The Lunatic Mayor"

The Martin Chronicles can't help but laugh about certain sections of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's bizarre Municipal Order 2013-01 regarding the tiny tyrant's proposed investigation of Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman. One of our favorites? Section 4 a, which reads "To report the matter to any outside law enforcement agency, including, without limitation, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (our bold and underline added for emphasis) . . . ".

The FBI? About an alleged double-billing of eleven-yes, eleven-hours worked? Over a period of more than one dreadful year? When the brow-beaten Police Department was operating at seventy-five percent of full strength because of the malevolent Martin's ongoing vendetta? Seriously?

 

The Martin Chronicles experienced staff of reporters has been working all of its vast number of sources. Interestingly, none of them can find one single, solitary example of the manipulative Martin sitting down with Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman to discuss concerns about the potential of alleged double-billing of any hours.

Instead, the mismanaging Martin proposed spending as much as TEN THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS-through his signed Municipal Order 2013-01-bringing in the Federal Bureau of Investigation to scrutinize the timesheets of Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman? Are you kidding us? What does that demonstrate other than a miscreant mayor who has slipped the surly bonds of mental health?

We can only think back with fondness to the revered television series, appropriately titled THE FBI, that ran for 241 action-packed episodes from 1965 until 1974. Inspector Lew Erskine-lovingly portrayed by the venerable actor Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.-and his crack team of agents. They tracked down murderers, extortionists, spies, mobsters, gamblers, defectors, thieves, embezzlers, mad bombers, black-mailers, hired killers, runaways, kidnappers, assassins, white-collar-crime criminals, bank robbers, junkies, conspirators, loan-sharks, ex-Nazis, pornographers, escaped prisoners, terrorists, mercenaries, numbers-runners, Commies, hijackers and FORGERS (hey, didn't four highly-respected judges conclude that now-Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's fit the very definition of FORGERY?)







So, if the FBI ever did an episode about the malevolent Martin's crazy vendetta against the Villa Hills Police department, how would the baritone announcer cue it up? Here is how we think it would go:

"The FBI. A Quinn Martin, Warner Brother's Production, Starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. Also starring Phillip Abbot, Stephen Brooks, with guest stars Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin, Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman, Police Chief Dan Goodenough and the Villa Hills City Council. Tonight's episode, "The Lunatic Mayor". Damn, that nails it.

Any voter who thinks that Villa Hills deserves better than it has been getting over the past three years still has to wait 337 days to try to fix Mike Martin's endless, wasteful mess.





 





WEEKENDER: You DIDN'T Know?

The Martin Chronicles is examining stacks of documents recently released by Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman's attorney, Jeffery Otis. We've already released a couple of them to our rapidly expanding audience.

What they reveal is nothing short of shocking. These documents indicate a systematic effort by Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin-and his conspirators-to do serious damage to Schutzman's reputation. Martin's actions have the explosive potential to do severe harm to the taxpayers of the tiny tyrant's troubled town.

The mendacious Martin wants residents to believe that he knew nothing about the persistent problems in his mis-administration. You know Martin's standard excuse. "I didn't know that then. But I know that now." Whatever the devil "that" is.

Instead, we now know that Martin signed Municipal Order 2013-01 way back in January, 2013-just as his "Golden Moment" was supposed to begin-that definitively proves Martin not only did know, but was also hell-bent on doing his level best to deflect attention away from his own incompetence and mismanagement by blaming Assistant Chief Schutzman.

Are you with us so far? Good. So, without further adieu, we present the MARTIN-SIGNED Municipal Order 2013-01.

___________________________________________________________________________

MUNICIPAL ORDER 2013-01

CITY OF VILLA HILLS, KENTUCKY

WHEREAS, the City Council has learned certain information that is concerning to it, including, without limitation, the request for, the approval of, and payment of approximately $100,000 in overtime in 2011 and/or 2012 to Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman and approval of same by Police Chief Dan Goodenough; and

WHEREAS, the City Council has been informed that Assistant Chief Schutzman has been employed by the Cities of Ludlow and Bromley, Kentucky; and

WHEREAS, certain other overtime requests have likewise been made and continue to be incurred;

NOW THEREFORE, in connection with K.R.S. 83A.130, the City Council hereby directs that an investigation occur into this overtime as follows:

1) The Mayor shall report to City Council, not later than March 30, 2013, as to the propriety of the overtime requests, approval, and payment; and
2) The Mayor, to avoid any appearance of conflicts of interest and/or to bring in outside expertise, may retain outside legal counsel, on behalf of the City Council and/or Mayor, to conduct this investigation and pay said legal counsel not more than $2,500 to investigate this issue; and
3) That any legal counsel so retained shall have and is hereby designated the investigatory powers of City Council, as set forth in K.R.S. 83A.130.
4) That if the Mayor, or outside legal counsel, determine that illegal, improper, or unethical conduct occurred, the Mayor is directed as follows:
a. To report the matter to any law enforcement agency, including, without limitation, the Federal Bureau of Investigation and or the Kentucky State Police; and
b. To bring such charges as are supported by probable cause before the Villa Hills Civil Service Commission, and to prosecute same by and through the Mayor, or outside legal counsel, with an additional $2,500 authorized for the prosecution of any matter before the Villa Hills Civil Service Commission if warranted; and
c. To report to the City Council, in executive session, at the March, 2013 regular meeting as to the status of this Order and any investigation, unless the matter is referred in paragraph 3)a, or charges will be brought as provided in paragraph 3)b, in which case the Mayor shall advise City Council that no report will be given until after the conclusion of any matter.

________________________________________________________________________________

Oh, brother. First of all, this Municipal Order clearly proves that Martin was fully aware of the overtime problems he himself created.

Secondly, you should keep in mind that the Kentucky Labor Department ordered Martin to pay the overtime under a very serious threat of daily fines. Was Martin trying to say that the Kentucky Labor Department's review of the overtime mess the diminutive dictator himself created was somehow flawed?

No, Martin simply wants to use taxpayer money to continue the vendetta he has been pushing against the Villa Hills Police Department for several years. This vendetta is another example of Martin's perpetual habit of assigning blame to everyone else for problems he creates.

And the taxpayer may pay a dear price for this Martin deception.





For What Are WE Thankful

The entire staff of The Martin Chronicles is very thankful for many things on this special holiday. We are especially thankful that our beloved publisher has agreed to man phones and e-mail alone while we celebrate this wonderful day with families and friends.

• We are extremely thankful for our rapidly growing audience, that is skyrocketing towards 200,000!
• Yes, we are also extremely thankful that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin continues to prove that he is indeed the reason for the season of continuing fear and loathing in his troubled town: Yes, we are very thankful that-despite the fact that voters who desperately wanted to give him a chance by electing an entirely new council in 2012-the Martin-made mess persists (call it job security, if you want).
• Yes, we are also extremely thankful for the nitwits who continue to post "trial balloons" on Facebook and elsewhere that lay out the LIES Martin plans to tell in his 2014 bid for re-election. You know, variations on Martin's main theme that he "didn't know that then, but he knows that now."
• Yes, we are also extremely thankful for the fact that Martin was able to hire his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry. "The Toad" has given us a virtually endless stream of costly-to-the taxpayers-foul-ups, bleeps and blunders about which to write(can you tell that our beloved publisher has warned us about never ending a sentence with a preposition?).
• Yes, we are also extremely thankful that Martin was able to hire Bo-Bo as his City Clerk. Bo-Bo stoked the mismanaging Martin's fires by ghost-writing press releases, random photography and false claims of inappropriate behavior. Bo-Bo is almost the best. At least in our book.
• Yes, we are thankful that we have received documents that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is the LYING Martin and his wife Janet who have truly launched a WITCH HUNT in a bizarre attempt to clear the malfeasant Martin from what four separate judges have opined is his ILLEGAL FORGERY.
• Yes, we are thankful for the pinheads who continue to defend the indefensible Martin and empty-headedly take to podiums to proclaim that they "trust this mayor".

COMING NEXT: Our Weekender edition will feature the Municipal Order the malevolent Martin signed in January 2013 to launch yet another witch hunt against Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman. That's damned odd. Why? Because Martin is falsely claiming that he didn't know anything about his mis-administration's problems that were laid bare in the recent State Auditor's report.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! 

 





 



Not A Good Idea

The Martin Chronicles would like to know why Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin decided to have his wife Janet inject herself in to the current turmoil in Villa Hills? What could the Martin's possibly have been thinking?

Let's look at the document that was released by Villa Hills Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman's attorney Jeffery Otis that demonstrates what Janet Martin was doing.

Our question? Who was running the real witch hunt?

Janet Gardiner
___________________________________________________________________________

From: jlmartin@fuse.net

Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 1:33PM

To: clerk@cityofbromley.org

Subject: Open Records Request

I would like a copy of all 1099's related to Joseph Schutzman and Joey Schutzman (Villa Hills Assistant Chief Chief Joe Schutzman's son) for the last 5 years.
Thank You
_________________________________________________________________________________

A witch hunt indeed.





Ready Or Not, Here It Comes

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher decided it was his job to attend the recent press conference held by Villa Hills Assistant Police Chief's attorney Jeffrey Otis. And as he told the entire staff today, he's "damned glad he did".

Why? Because it reveals a damning series of LIES being told by Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. It also drags Martin's wife Janet squarely in to the mix.

Oh, don't worry. The Martin Chronicles has all of the documents that back up Mr. Otis' statements-including incredible correspondence from the aforementioned Janet Martin. And we will share everything with you in the days ahead.

There is (BIG) trouble in Martin's strife torn River City. The Martin Chronicles also has it on very good authority that several lawsuits are about to be filed in the coming days.

We will begin with the statement Mr. Otis provided to the press in its entirety. Again, The Martin Chronicles also has all of the supporting documents to back up Mr. Otis' press release that you will also soon get to read.

OTIS & JOHNSON

 

Attorneys at Law

115 Park Place

Covington, KY  41011

(859) 261-6968 - Telephone

(859) 261-9968 – Facsimile

 

We are a debt relief agency

 

 

Jeffrey J. Otis                                                                              Frederick J. Johnson

                                                                                              Also admitted in Ohio

_________ ______________________________________________________________

                                                                                               

November 23, 2013

 

 

Mrs. Cindy Schroeder

Kentucky Enquirer

                       

Dear Mrs. Schroeder,

 

This letter serves as a response to the press release submitted by Mayor Michael Martin regarding the November 20, 2013 State Auditor’s Report for the City of Villa Hills.  The Mayor’s press release contains numerous inaccuracies that will be addressed by this letter and there are also several issues with the auditor’s report that will be addressed.  Before I continue this response, it should be noted that Joe Schutzman was not provided with any copy of any document that was provided to the state auditor and Joe Schutzman was not afforded any opportunity to provide any information to the state auditor’s office for this investigation. 

 

With respect to the auditor’s report, It should be noted that it is our position, opinion and belief that the Mayor knew about the complaint and subsequent audit prior to his allegation that he had no knowledge of the audit up and until he received notice from the State Auditor’s office in early April of 2013.  To support our position that the Mayor was aware of this issue, I would direct your attention to a January, 2013 Executive Order numbered 2013-01.  In this Executive Order, the mayor clearly indicates that he and council had a concern about Joe Schutzman’s overtime that was a subject of the state audit.  In the order, the Mayor demonstrates the desire to have an outside agency investigate Joe Schutzman and to potentially bring charges against him.  Additionally, in July of 2012 the City of Bromley received open records requests via email from both Mike and Janet Martin as demonstrated by the email addresses contained in the open records requests.  It is clear from the emails, that Mayor Martin was investigating Joe Schutzman prior to April of 2013.  It is my opinion that Mayor Martin’s statement that he did not know anything about the investigation of Joe Schutzman and that it was only brought to his attention in early April of 2013 is erroneous.  This auditor’s report is based solely upon documentation provided by the City of Villa Hills without any input from Joe Schutzman and without any opportunity for Joe Schutzman to provide additional documentation or review the information submitted for the investigation.

           

The Mayor addressed the four (4) findings of the state auditor’s report in his press release.  I will address each finding that the Mayor addresses in his press release, successively.  First, with respect to Finding Number One (1), if the Mayor had reviewed his own city administrative records, he would have clearly found that Joe Schutzman was promoted to the Assistant Chief of Police position in 2004.  It follows then, that if the Mayor did not provide this information to the auditor, then it is only logical that the state auditor would not have found documentation to substantiate Joe Schutzman’s promotion to Assistant Chief of Police.  While it may seem reasonable for the Mayor to fail to look that far back in the City of Villa Hills records, there is no reason why he should not have turned over City of Villa Hills Ordinance 2010-6 and 2010-8.  These ordinances established the City’s Civil Service Commission and demonstrate the position for Joe Schutzman as the Assistant Chief of Police for the City of Villa Hills and his pay range.  The increase in pay that was referenced in this part of the Mayor’s press release fails to provide the critical information that there was a meeting by and between the Mayor of Villa Hills at that time, the City Attorney at that time, and that there was an agreement to increase Joe Schutzman’s pay inasmuch as he had additional duties assigned to him as the Assistant Chief of Police, these duties included the building and zoning duties that he once performed as an independent contractor.  It should also be noted that the increase in pay was still within the pay range afforded to the Assistant Chief of Police position.

 

            With respect to Finding Number Two (2), the Mayor simply makes an erroneous reference to “11 instances where the employee submitted overlapping or duplicated hours, being paid twice for the same hours worked.”  The auditor’s report made reference to 11 hours of potential overtime being worked that were erroneously paid by the City of Villa Hills.  Upon performing our own inspection of Joe Schutzman’s timesheets submitted for the time period referenced, there are not any duplicative hours for Mr. Schutzman.  In fact, according to his payroll records, he actually under billed the City of Villa Hills for his time and it is clearly referenced by the state auditor in the last paragraph of Page 3 of the auditor’s report.   Additionally, the report does not account for any clerical errors that may have occurred in the entry of Joe Schutzman’s time in the payroll system.  A discrepancy noted by the auditor’s report and exploited by some potential wrong doing by Mayor Martin has easily clarified when looking at Mr. Schutzman’s payroll sheets, and proof of his inspection reports from the date in question.   

That begs the questions, “what information was provided to the auditor for his investigation?” and “why wasn’t Joe Schutzman afforded an opportunity to provide his records and provide any input into the auditor’s investigation?”

 

            In Finding Number Two (2), the auditor points out some additional potential discrepancies regarding overtime payments to Joe Schutzman.  This issue involved paying Mr. Schutzman  for sick leave without having his sick time hours reduced.  Simply put, this is an administrative function that is not in Joe Schutzman’s control.  This is the responsibility of the Mayor and his staff.  Likewise, the auditor’s recommendation for the City of Villa Hills to strengthen the review process to help eliminate clerical errors regarding the payment of employees is the Mayor’s responsibility, NOT Joe Schutzman’s.  The Mayor of Villa Hills has had three (3) years to amend or alter any process that needed amending.  Specifically, having a system of checks and balances to ensure that his administrative staff enters time sheets into the payroll system correctly. 

 

            With respect to Finding Number Three (3), the Mayor indicates in his press release that Joe Schutzman’s work hours appeared excessive.  Joe Schutzman’s work hours were not excessive, they were necessary.  Assistant Police Chief Schutzman is working in a department that is grossly under staffed and grossly over worked.  Not only did Joe Schutzman have to perform his duties as the Assistant Chief of Police, he had to perform the duties of the city’s detective, and building and zoning officer.  These three (3) roles with the City of Villa Hills is the direct responsibility of Mayor Martin and to try to defame Joe Schutzman’s character for working long hours is absolutely reprehensible.  The Mayor points out in his press release that Joe regularly worked between the hours of 3:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m..  That was simply Mr. Schutzman’s routine.  He is an early riser and predominantly performed plan reviews and other building and zoning document reviews during this time frame.  There is absolutely nothing criminal or administratively faulty for Joe Schutzman to perform work at this time.

 

            With respect to Finding Number Four (4), there was a long-standing practice in the City of Villa Hills to pay officers overtime for vacation days even when that officer did not work 40 hours.  Mayor Martin was aware of this policy as a council member and as the Mayor.  All officers were subject to this policy, not just Joe Schutzman.  If the City of Villa Hills had a policy that applied to all officers, it is grossly unfair to selectively malign Joe Schutzman for being included in that policy.

 

            I will be faxing over some documentation to substantiate what I have stated on behalf of Joe Schutzman.  If you have any additional questions, please contact me via cell phone at 859-760-4196.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

 

___________________________

Jeffrey J. Otis

 

The Batman is on it!

 



UPDATE: Another Not-So "Special" Meeting Scratched

The Martin Chronicles hates to admit it. Yes, we really do. But the rapid-fire series of not-so-special "Special" Meetings that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin continues to call and then cancel are as amusing as can be.

The most recent of the not-so-special "Special" Meetings that was supposed to be held tonight once again ended up going by the wayside. "Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick"-as ESPN's Chris Berman would say-Martin's clock is running out.

After extensive discussions with several sources, we are fairly convinced that the mendacious Martin is staring at a serious, looming deadline. It appears that the mismanaging Martin is seeking City Council's approval to negotiate a taxpayer-funded settlement in time to reduce his personal liability regarding his LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit that may otherwise cost him dearly.

So far, so bad. At least for the diminutive dictator.

 



BREAKING NEWS: Another Special Meeting Tonight

The Martin Chronicles has learned that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has scheduled another hastily convened "Special" Meeting at the City Building for tonight at 6pm. The agenda posted on the door calls for an Executive Session and a vote.

We believe Martin is attempting to resolve lawsuits before a rapidly approaching deadline. We will bring you any details we receive.

Facebook Follies

The Martin Chronicles staff frequently checks the social networks to catch the latest buzz on the continuous turmoil in Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's troubled town. There have been some real doozies posted on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page lately that deserve some analysis. We will protect the identity of the posters by using pseudonyms instead of their real names-even if they don't really deserve it.

First, we'll consider the Facebook posts of someone we'll call "Wan(duh) Widebottom". Wan(duh) posts that your Kenton County library card is the key to finding "the truth" about Villa Hills and its politicians-past and present. Then old Mrs. Widebottom immediately proceeds to totally misrepresent the truth.

Want an example? Sure you do. Mrs. Widebottom writes that it was only (the loony) Mike Pope who didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. No matter how you slice old Wan(duh)'s post, it's a bucket of hogwash.

Sure, (the loony) Mike Pope didn't vote the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. There is a good reason for that. You see, (the loony) Mike Pope wasn't even on City Council when the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX was approved in 2007.

Using Wan(duh) Widebottom's laughable line of illogic, thousands-heck, billions-of people didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Elmer Fudd didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. General Zod didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Hedley Lamarr didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX.

It's a safe bet you didn't vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX either. But you know who did vote for the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Why, faith and beggorah, it was the malfeasant Mike Martin!

For clarification, The Martin Chronicles is not questioning the credibility of the information available at the Kenton County Public Library. Our point is simply that old Wan(duh) Widebottom is futilely attempting to push smoke in a wheelbarrow.

Next we'll turn our attention to someone-to protect his youthful identity-we'll call Argyle Boysenberry. His recent Facebook posts are a ridiculous example of someone who obviously believes he should be able to have it both ways.

Little Argyle wrote a defamatory post that libeled a City employee who is currently embroiled in numerous legal controversies with malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. Boysenberry's actionable post took a tiny piece of thread out of the recent State Auditor's report-that offered damning proof of Martin's gross incompetence-and tried to weave another new sweater out of it.

Other Facebook posters then began to attack Master Boysenberry's libelous post. So what did Lil' Argyle do next? He began to offer posts bemoaning the lack of civility on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page. How dare someone call Argyle Boysenberry an "idiot" simply because he libeled a City employee? Oh, brother.

But our favorite current Facebooker? Oh, that would be someone we'll call Winter Wiener, also to protect her identity. She wins the "CAKE-TAKER" Award for this most recent series of Facebook posts.

So what did Winter Wiener post? Well, she wrote that "(Martin) was operating without the benefit of a city clerk." We are concluding that Winter Wiener means that if Martin had "the benefit of a city clerk" there would not have been all of the timesheet errors that brought the State Auditor down on the diminutive dictator's empty head.

Oh, really? Is that a fact? No, it isn't. You see, Sue Bree was the City Clerk for most of the first two years of Martin's mis-administration of the City of Villa Hills. Is Winter Wiener suggesting that Sue Bree was too incompetent to review a dozen or so timesheets every two weeks?

Probably so. But former City Clerk Sue Bree should be used to being thrown under Martin's bus. Remember the bygone days of Martin's removal hearing? Martin dropped an after-the-fact reprimand on Sue Bree's head accusing her of violating Federal, State and City laws because she failed to adhere to Open Records statutes. Now Winter Wiener says Sue Bree is also responsible for the timesheet errors that led to the State Auditor's report. Boy Howdy!

Here is what is really happening. Wan(duh) Widebottom, Argyle Boysenberry and Winter Wiener are loyally floating "Re-Elect Martin In 2014" trial balloons for the mismanaging mayor. Their bogus Facebook posts represent the wild claims Martin himself will make as he tries to convince a majority of Villa Hills voters that he isn't responsible for what is truly his mess of the past four years.

Martin is planning a "Puddles Pity-Party" (for your own benefit, check out "Puddles Pity-Party on You Tube) story, claiming that there was nothing he could do to fix all of the problems that he himself created (but will claim he inherited) over the preceding four years. Or, is it forty-eight months? Or, maybe two hundred and eight weeks? Or, should we say one thousand, four hundred and twenty-three days? Or was it thirty-four thousand, one hundred and fifty-two hours? Or would it be better to go to Martin's last line of defense and write one million, twenty-six thousand and two hundred and twenty-eight seconds to fix all of the many problems-that he himself created?

We actually feel sorry for Wan(duh) Widebottom, Argyle Boysenberry and Winter Wiener. Why? Because they are evidently naïve enough to believe the mis-directing Martin's endless stream of excuses for his own failures.

The key will be whether or not a majority of Villa Hills voters are naïve enough to believe the lies Martin will be telling them next year. The voters narrowly elected the dishonest doofus Martin in 2010.

Will they be naïve enough to re-elect him in 344 days?

PREVIEW: Here We Come!

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher (The Batman) has given us next week's mission. We are going to take on the dishonest or misguided Facebook posters who are setting the stage for Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's 2014 re-election campaign and Martin's deceitful press release about the recent State Auditor's report designed to cover his dishonest tracks. All the PHONY STORIES are being pushed forward as a trial balloon to test Martin's endless stream of LIES. Please tune in!

  

BREAKING NEWS: Another Special Meeting

The Martin Chronicles is hearing from several sources that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is convening yet another not-so-special Special Meeting  tomorrow (Saturday). We are still trying to find out when the meeting is scheduled to begin.

Martin ran claiming he would bring "more transparency to City government". We now know that was just another in LIE in an endless stream of LIES Martin told and continues to tell. That is as clear as the cheesy moustache on Martin's DISHONEST face.

Look everybody, Martin is desperately trying-with the assistance of his personal and now City Attorney Toad V. McMurtry-to get you to foot the bill for his personal liability in his LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit. That is as clear as can be. We hope the City Council doesn't fall for it.

We'll keep you advised as information comes in.





 



WEEKENDER: Recycled Humor

The Martin Chronicles knows that old jokes never die, they just get recycled in to topical humor. Our beloved publisher was dining at a local restaurant recently near malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's strife-torn Villa Hills the other day. He overheard several patrons laughing hysterically at a fellow telling jokes. Following are a couple of snippets from the comedian's routine.

"So Mike Martin walks into the civic club with a toad sitting on his head. One of the curious ass clowns sitting at the bar asks, 'What's up with that?' To everyone's surprise, the toad responds, 'I'd have this nasty boil removed from my butt, but it would cost me a fortune!'"

The comedian continued.

 

"Have you heard the one about the man who died and was standing before the pearly gates talking with Saint Peter? The man asked about the incredible number of clocks displayed around the gates. Saint Peter explained that each clock told how many times someone lied by the ticks of the second hand. Saint Peter first showed the man his clock. 'See, your clock has only ticked off eight seconds. So, you only told eight lies in your entire life. That is very good. You should be proud. See this clock with the cob webs on it. That clock belongs to Mother Teresa. She never told a lie.'"

"Becoming curious, the man asked Saint Peter where Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's clock was. Saint Peter replied, 'Well, Moses' office used to get a little warm until he started using Mike Martin's clock for a fan!'"

After she stopped laughing, long-time Villa Hills resident Henrietta Youngman threw up her hands and said, "Take our malfeasant mayor . . . PLEASE!!!!

That brought down the whole house.

 



Who Has Been Mayor For The Past THREE Years?

The Martin Chronicles has talked to several long-time Villa Hills residents who say that the current turmoil embroiling their once-proud City is eerily reminiscent to what occurred during the chaotic end days of Mayor Steve Clark. They all believe that current malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is using the exact same pathetic playbook.

The most obvious replay? Martin's use of the State Auditor's office to smear all those people the tiny tyrant he perpetually-and falsely-claims are "just out to get him".

In Martin's case, his bizarre smears only serve to raise serious questions about his honesty and competence. Haven't we perpetually been told by the diminutive dictator himself that he is "the CEO"? Hasn't the miniature Mussolini frequently beat his chest, claiming he "runs a tight ship", supposedly "saving" taxpayer money on postage meters, paper towels, coffee, and car washes?

So exactly how is it that tens of thousands of dollars in overtime slipped past him? His ridiculous "press release" posted on the City of Villa Hills" website raises several more questions that go straight to Martin's disdain for honesty and his incompetence.

• If it is even remotely true that an employee-who happens to be suing Martin personally for LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION-requested pay for duplicated hours on ELEVEN OCCASIONS, how did the tight-ship-running Martin miss that? Doesn't Martin even review the small number of City employee time sheets for potential errors? Martin claims he "runs a tight ship" after all.
• If it is even remotely true that an employee-who happens to be suing Martin personally for LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION-was billing the City for building inspection work done from 3am to 5am, did Martin ever question the employee about that? And if Martin did question the employee, what did he learn?
• If it is even remotely true that the self-aggrandizing Martin was correct in initially refusing to pay the overtime owed the employee-who happens to be suing Martin personally for LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION-why did the Kentucky Labor Department fine the City-as Martin claims in his "press release"- for Martin's failure to pay the overtime? Is the State Auditor's Office claiming that the Kentucky Labor Department is incompetent? Or, is that a claim the mendacious Martin is making?

Do you get it now? Martin's press release-probably written by someone else-is ridiculous. Martin wants you to believe its okay for him to have it both ways. But that is total nonsense.

Again, Martin has been the Villa Hills mayor for three dreadful years. He has had more than enough time to address these issues. But evidently, he never has.

Martin wants you to believe that it is the fault of "the previous mayor" and "the previous council". But if Martin is to be believed that he is truly "running a tight ship", how can that be possible?

Martin wants to blame "the Civil Service Board, the previous mayor and the previous council" for all of these problems. But-as he himself is oh-so-fond of reminding us-he is "the CEO". He is the responsible party. He has been the responsible party for almost three dreadful years. To claim anything else in a smarmy press release-probably written by someone else-is a pile of baloney.

Martin has had almost three dreadful years to fix these so-called problems. But, he has failed to do so. The tiny tyrant can make all of the excuses he wants. But he is the responsible party.

The voters can fix the real problem in 347 days.





BREAKING NEWS: Tonight's Special Meeting Cancelled.

The Martin Chronicles has learned that tonight's hastily convened Special Meeting of Villa Hills City Council has been as hastily cancelled. As you should expect, speculation is running rampant about the reasons for the abrupt cancellation.

We will be busy working our vast sources, "separating the wheat from the chaff". We will report on what we are able to substantiate as soon as possible.

Government Of The Absurd

The Martin Chronicles worries that our vast readership may have trouble believing this. Even Robert Ripley, creator of the storied Believe It on Not franchise would struggle with this. But Believe It you should. What is it? Well, Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has hastily called yet another Special Meeting of the Villa Hills City Council for Wednesday night, the second already this week!

For those who may not be keeping count, this will be the fourth-yes, FOURTH-Special Meeting the mismanaging Martin has rashly convened over the past few weeks. Keep in mind, the taxpayers are funding these Special Meetings. We can only surmise that there hasn't been even more Special Meetings over this short period of time is that Martin chose to hop on a jet and leave the country for a time. Sadly, the diminutive dictator has returned.

Martin's reckless meeting-calling reminds us of the mid-Twentieth Century phenomenon known as the Theatre of the Absurd. Why? Because Martin's government has broken down into a meaningless-and self-serving-series of seemingly irrational acts. Much as in the Theatre of the Absurd, Martin's mis-Administration has eroded from already-lousy public communication in to complete silence exemplified by a series of behind-closed-doors meetings. Yes, the Martin-driven current events are truly surreal.

Martin is pursuing the Absurdist science of "pataphysics". Absurdists defined pataphysics as "the quest for imaginary solutions". Let us explain how the word we are receiving from several sources convince us that his is Martin's devious plan.

The Martin Chronicles thinks Martin is pushing City Council to-at the very least-grant him carte blanche permission to negotiate a settlement in one of the many costly lawsuits the mendacious mayor has generated. Martin wants to be able to tell the taxpayers that he spent a sizeable chunk of their money to resolve a personal lawsuit with someone who is suing the tiny tyrant for LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION in order to get rid of the plaintiff before Kentucky's new pension laws take effect.

In other words, Martin wants the City Council to give him false cover to tell a 2014 re-election LIE that he bravely acted to preserve the City's rapidly dwindling City cash reserves. But that will be nothing more that a complete fabrication.

You see, it now appears that Martin is brazenly attempting to grab a huge chunk of taxpayer money to help him resolve what a respected jurist has already ruled is his personal liability in a personal lawsuit cause by his telling of LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE during his dirtbag 2010 mayoral campaign. If City Council agrees to such a solution, they should be hoist with the same explosive petard as Martin.

Martin knows exactly what he's doing. He wants your money to help him get out from under a very serious problem he alone created by his egregious LIES that could potentially result in him having to sell "his wife's house(?)", liquidate the rest of his assets and cut a monthly check to the plaintiff in his personal lawsuit for many years to come. City Council should decide to let the mallet-headed Martin face the consequences of his LIES.

Doing anything else is truly absurd.



They're Really Not All That "SPECIAL" Anymore.

The Martin Chronicles knows the majority of its vast readership is pretty darn smart. So they know-like we do-that all of these no-longer-so-"special" Special Meetings being called by Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin don't bode well for anyone paying taxes in the tiny tyrant's town.

The latest in this rapid-fire succession of no-longer-so-"special" Special Meetings took place Monday night. Once again, the topic du jour was "pending litigation". As you probably recall, the only reason there was an all-so-brief respite from these no-longer-so-"special" Special Meetings was caused by Martin's temporary departure from the United States. Well, Martin is back. And so are the no-longer-so-"special" Special Meetings.

We have been told that Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry was recently elected to serve as president of the Northern Kentucky Bar Association. Yipee Ki Yo Ky Yay!! We next expect to be told that the mismanaging Martin has been named the Northern Kentucky Bar Association's "Man of the Year". Why? Because Martin's actions are generating a taxpayer-funded fortune in billings for several local attorneys. Villa Hills' diminutive dictator is proving to be a real "rain maker" for several Tri-State law firms.

So what the heck is going on? Several sources express deep concern that the mendacious Martin is trying to hoodwink the City Council in to-at the very least-granting him the shameful permission to negotiate an at least partially taxpayer-funded-settlement in one open lawsuit. Remember that Martin and others traveled to Lexington for an attempted mediation of one current lawsuit.

These sources believe there may be a grave problem with the City Council granting the malevolent Martin that "permission". Why? Because Martin may be asking City Council to grant him permission to negotiate an at-least-partially-taxpayer-funded settlement for a lawsuit where a respected judge has already ruled that the taxpayers have absolutely no liability. If that is the case, any use of taxpayer money to get Martin off of a personal lawsuit hook would be a travesty.

Unlike Martin, The Martin Chronicles is not vindictive. But we do have a very strong sense of fairness. It would be completely unfair for the taxpayers to be asked to pony-up even one red cent to assist Martin for the settlement of a lawsuit in which a respected judge has already ruled these taxpayers have zero liability.

We already know that Martin intentionally told LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE to narrowly win his 2010 mayoral race. If some of those intentional LIES crossed the threshold of LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION, it is Martin-and Martin-alone-who should face the financial music. The taxpayer should absolutely not be asked-once again-to bail out Martin for his intentional LIES.

Again, The Martin Chronicles is absolutely not vindictive. But if Martin's intentional LIES have put him on some sort of a financial hook, let him deal with it. It shouldn't be the taxpayers-writ-large. Other could help.

• If an ever-diminishing number of bar-binging asshats have to hold a fundraiser to help Martin out of his self-created financial mess, as the Branch Norwoodians might say, "So be it".
• If the now-silent, "Don't Tread On Me" flag-waving-tri-cornered-hat-wearing-we-trust-Martin's-dishonest-pledge-to-rid-us-of-the-UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX want to make donations to Martin's legal defense fund, as he Branch Norwoodians might say, "So be it".
• If the St. Joker's "Heavy Drinking Men" membership wants to cut a check to assist Martin's current legal jams, as the Branch Norwoodians might say, "So be it."
• If the hand-wringing bed-wetters who lied to investigators or feel compelled to proclaim that Martin "does great things for people" want to part with some of their own cash to bail Martin out of his personal legal problems, as the Branch Norwoodians might say, "So be it."
• If the gun nuts who support Martin's vendetta-driven destruction of the local police department want to hold a turkey shoot to raise money for Shorty's legal difficulties, as the Branch Norwoodians might say, "So be it." 

If these erstwhile-Martin-supporters don't step up, too bad. A respected judge has already ruled that Villa Hills taxpayers are absolutely not responsible for any of Martin's intentional LIES, SLANDER and DEFAMATION.

Villa Hills voters can fix this dishonest mess in 350 days (from Tuesday).











One Of These Mayors Is Not Like The Others

The Martin Chronicles knows that you know a similar version to the following song. Take it away, boys!

Three of these mayors belong together
Three of these mayors are kind of the same
Can you guess which one of these doesn't belong here?
Now it's time to play our game









 

 

 

We sure as hell hope you picked Rudy Guiliani as the mayor who doesn't belong in this den of incompetent thieves. Our pick for the worst of the bunch?

 

The mindless crook Mike Martin, of course. 

WEEKENDER: How Do YOU Define "A Tight Ship"?

The Martin Chronicles will little note nor long remember the ridiculous words uttered by Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin at a public hearing held not all that long ago about the diminutive dictator's despicable plans to disband the Villa Hills Police Department-this despite the fact that some nitwit came to the podium proclaiming that Martin "does great things for people-(is this why Martin recently boarded a jet and left the country?)

What has really happened demonstrate that the tiny tyrant's words were completely undercut by THE FACTS that Martin has been the master of profligate-and self-serving-waste in a troubled town that can certainly not afford it.

Do you remember what the mendacious Martin said? If you have been reading The Martin Chronicles for any length of time, you certainly should.

Desperately trying to defend his shocking plans to disband the Villa Hills Police Department, Martin claimed that he is doing so because he "RUNS A TIGHT SHIP". His proof? Martin ridiculously stated that he saved the taxpayers "one thousand dollars" by eliminating the City's dreaded postage meter. Our response? So what?

 

Yeah, we know. The mismanaging Martin has bitterly carped to the poor City employees about the use of Police Department car washes and coffee and even paper towels. Hell, he even refused to replace the microwave when the ancient one gave up the ghost. It's pretty pathetic when one of the employees has to bring in his own microwave just so hard-working employees have some way to heat up their lunches. Combine all of Martin's ridiculous concerns and it totals barely more than ONE THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS. Again, we say, "So what?

Martin has been focusing on literal peanuts being cracked open by others. All the while, he has been abusing taxpayer money for his own more-or-less personal gain.

Want some examples?:

• Martin implored the previous City Council to pony up TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS to pay his mismanaged police department overtime. Why? Because he was desperately trying to save his wife's(?) house.
• Martin has spent TENS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS more than what was originally budgeted for the City's legal fees in fiscal year 2013 after he broke a tie vote to hire his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry. How do we know this? Martin has asked the current City Council to approve moving nearly THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS out of the street repair budget to pay his attorney. Remember, we haven't even made it through the first half of the current fiscal year.
• Martin signed a purchase order that paid him more than TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND taxpayer dollars. Why? Martin believed the taxpayers should pay his personal attorney Toad V. McMurtry's bills. This despite the fact that Martin was CONVICTED ON SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY in October, 2012.
• Martin has asked the City Council's approval to spend ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS to pay off the debt for the tri-level City Building. A dwindling number of nitwit supporters wrote on Facebook that spending ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS somehow represents "saving" money for road repair. That is precisely why they are nitwits.
• How about the "worst of the worst"? Martin is trying to coerce the current City Council into giving him permission to negotiate a settlement of his current personal legal difficulties by spending upwards of FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS.
• Geez, if Martin is running such a "tight ship", why have some elected and appointed officials allegedly been discussing BANKRUPTCY for the City of Villa Hills?

By the count of The Martin Chronicles' crack mathematicians, Martin has or has attempted to squander well more than ONE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS for his own more-or-less personal gain. Now we know why Martin casually announced at the November, 2013 City Council meeting that the City's TAXPAYER-FUNDED CASH RESERVE MAY BE ENTIRELY GONE by January, 2014.

The Villa Hills' voters have to wait 354 days (from Friday) for the opportunity to toss Martin and his sycophantic supporters out on their butts to correct this terrible mess.





Who Is In Charge?

The Martin Chronicles observed last night's Villa Hills City Council meeting with great interest. Only four elected officials were in attendance. We already knew malfeasant Mayor Martin was "unavailable". Council members Balson and Wischer were also evidently "unavailable".

Council member Holly Menninger-Isenhour continued her incessant assault on Police Chief Dan Goodenough and Assistant Chief Joe Schutzman in particular and the local police department in general. How? She questioned Chief Goodenough about some allegedly missing building inspection records that she claims the Chief should have known about. Why? Because Menninger-Isenhour suggested that the Chief was responsible for supervising building inspection activities. Confusing, huh?

First of all, we were very surprised that Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry didn't immediately shut down Menninger-Isenhour's questions. Why? Because the City is currently embroiled in-yet another-lawsuit over those allegedly missing records. If we didn't know better, we might conclude that there was some orchestrated effort to unfairly raise doubts about Chief Goodenough. Well, at least we think we know better.

Furthermore, wasn't it the mismanaging Martin's responsibility to supervise building inspection services? The tiny tyrant is the self-proclaimed "CEO" of the City, after all. Martin is the one who signed Schutzman Inspection Services to a contract, not Chief Goodenough. Martin is the one who breached the City's contract with Schutzman Inspection Services in May without the required thirty day notice, not Chief Goodenough.

Martin has been mayor of Villa Hills now for nearly three years. If there continues to be some angst over extra money people were being paid to perform additional services, Martin has certainly had more than ample time to address that issue. The diminutive dictator has evidently failed to do so. How is that Chief Goodenough's issue?

Sources tell us that Martin claims he couldn't address the "extra pay" issue because it might have damaged his $1.505 million lawsuit against Goodenough, Schutzman and the taxpayers over his 2007 FORGERY ARREST. That lawsuit was dismissed more than two years ago. So, as the old saying goes, "That dog don't hunt".

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to elect someone to the mayor's office who was suing City employees and the taxpayers after all.

BREAKING NEWS: Always Set A Good Example

The Martin Chronicles is well aware of the fact that some people are really, really, really displeased with us. As our beloved publisher always reminds us, that goes with the territory. As you can imagine, we hear from far more people who are really, really, really displeased with Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin and his gang of venal cronies.

People have been filling our e-mail boxes and burning up our phone lines today expressing displeasure with Council woman Holly Menninger-Isenhour. Why? Because of what they believe is her callous disregard for the neighborhood. These people are very upset with Menninger-Isenhour because they say she has deposited all of her yard debris in the street.

Sure, it may seem like a small issue. But it is not a small issue to her neighbors. These neighbors believe any elected official should go the extra mile to set a good example. We are inclined to agree. Menninger-Isenhour is part of the cabal-led by the mendacious Martin-who have built their political careers on falsely claiming all manner of wrongdoing by their predecessors. These elected pinheads should realize that their every move is being closely scrutinized for that reason-and several more.

We have also learned that the miscreant Martin issued an Executive Order placing City Clerk Craig Bohman is charge of the City right before the tiny tyrant left the country. Many people are wondering how Bohman will exercise his newly granted authority.

Will he be like:

• Former Secretary of State Al "I'm in charge here" Haig?
• The Reverend vocalist Al "Let's Stay Together" Green?
• The famous gangster Al "If somebody messes with me, I'm messin' with them" Capone?
• The classic Al-i Baba of "The Forty Thieves" fame?
• Former Vice President Al "The inventor of the internet" Gore?
• Ranting activist Al "What do you mean Tawana Brawley was a fake?" Sharpton?
• Grandpa Munster actor Al "Ibbedy, Dibbedy!" Lewis?
• TV broadcaster Al "Do you believe in miracles?" Michaels?
• Current lousy Senator and former lousy comedian Al "I did not steal that election." Franken?
• Musician Al "Year of the Cat" Stewart?
• Indy driver Al "you're conducting selective traffic enforcement!" Unser, Jr.?
• Liberal mouthpiece Al "No, this is not a toupee!" Hunt?
• Famous TV dad Al "It's none of your business why I keep putting my hand down my pants!" Bundy?
• The "number one" prediction? Weird Al Yankovic!

Our guess? It will be a dreadful combination of all of the above.

 

Council Meeting Tonight

The Martin Chronicles wants to everyone that the November Villa Hills City Council Meeting will be held this evening. The meeting date has been moved up due to the Thanksgiving Holiday.

The City website has a link that is supposed to take people to a press release explaining the move. But much like the City's malfeasant Mayor Martin, the link isn't functioning properly.

There is some good news. First, the meeting will be televised. Given everything that has been happening lately, taxpayers should consider watching. Second, Martin will not be in attendance. So, the Martin Chronicles will have time to have maintenance done on it's "BS Meter". It's been getting a tremendous workout over the last three years and needs a tune-up.

We will provide a full report and in-depth analysis.

 

More Questions And Concerns

The Martin Chronicles has learned that the monthly meeting of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Finance Committee has been postponed until at least November 25. Why is that significant? Because the regular, televised monthly meeting has been moved to this week because of the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday.

So, once again, City Council-and the residents-will not have the benefit of a comprehensive report from the Finance Committee on the state of Martin's use of the taxpayer's money. Why is that important? Because City Council is statutorily-tasked with the obligation of performing oversight on Martin's use of those taxpayer dollars.

If this was not a persistent problem, The Martin Chronicles could simply attribute the postponement of the meeting to the likely possibility that Martin's $47.50 per hour bookkeeper hasn't had sufficient time to prepare detailed-and correct-reports. The meeting is being held two weeks early, after all.

But, the failure to produce detailed-and correct-reports for City's Council's thorough review prior to regular Council Meetings has been-and continues to be-a persistent problem. A reasonable person could certainly conclude that Martin feels no need to share this vital information with the City Council-and the residents whose money Martin is spending at unprecedented levels-in a timely manner.

Under normal circumstances, this may not seem like a major issue. But Villa Hills has not experienced "normal circumstances" for most of the nearly-three dreadful years Martin has (mis)managed City Government.

• You see, the taxpayers of Villa Hills-and the frequently aforementioned City Council-have several serious issues on their collective financial plates:
• Martin has been on a full-scale, vendetta-driven mission to disband the local police department-wanting to replace it with some outsourced coverage-for almost the entire three years of his dreadful first-and hopefully, only-term as mayor. What is the financial impact on the taxpayers of this intentionally-evasive effort? No one seems to know. Except maybe Martin.
• Martin signed a purchase order to pay himself the reimbursement of more than TWENTY THREE THOUSAND TAXPAYER-FUNDED DOLLARS of un-negotiated legal bills of his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry's defense in a removal hearing that resulted in CONVICTION ON SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY.
• Martin has hired several additional attorneys and law firms to file lawsuits, rewrite City policy and otherwise harass the residents. To date, City Council and the residents have not received a full accounting of Martin's profligate spending on these additional attorneys and law firms.
• Martin is recklessly attempting to have the taxpayers fund a multi-six figure settlement of a LIBEL, SLANDER AND DEFAMATION LAWSUIT from which a respected judge has already ruled the taxpayers have no liability. This judge has ruled that Martin is personally responsible for his DEFAMATORY LIES. The residents have an absolute right to know what Martin is doing.

Oh, its even worse. Sources suggest that elected and appointed City officials have gone so far as to discuss BANKRUPTCY for the City as a means of protecting the City's dwindling resources from the impact of Martin's ongoing LIBEL, SLANDER AND DEFAMATION. How could a possible action like that impact the future of Villa Hills? This mess can all be blamed on Martin.

The voters can fix this mess in 356 days.