More On Martin's SECRET MEETING

The Martin Chronicles is about to welcome its' 100,000th visitor. Our beloved publisher is throwing a colossal catered party at his palatial compound to celebrate on Saturday. You are welcome to join us-if you can find it. While we acknowledge that it has been a seismic fiasco in the embarrassed burg of Villa Hills, we owe most of our success to malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's perpetual foul-ups, bleeps and blunders.

Martin's March SECRET MEETING provided us more foul-ups, bleeps, blunders and FLAT-OUT LIES. We also learned a little bit about where each council member is coming from. And we had further confirmation of why we can't wait for the day when Martin goes away. We have to wait another 606 days to see if that will happen after the next election.

Let's start with Martin's budget "wish list". While the lying little fella bent over backwards to explain that the items listed were merely "wishes", they do reveal a lot about the current mindset of Martin and some nitwits on the council.

Here is just a partial detailing of vile ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig's "wish list" complete with prices:

1. Dump truck . . . $65,000
2. Pickup truck . . . $35,000
3. Bobcat (we think she means the wheeled vehicle, not the nasty feline) . . . $32,000
4. Salt garage . . . $80,000

So, Koenig "wishes" she could spend another $212,000 of YOUR MONEY that Martin hasn't taken from you-at least not yet.

HBM-I (Holly Boo Boo) is a little less of a spendthrift than Koenig, but no more practical. She "wishes" she could spend YOUR MONEY on popcorn and hot chocolate machines. You just can't make up this crazy stuff.

Koenig and Holly Boo Boo also wish they could spend $30,000 of YOUR MONEY for playground equipment in the park that is in both their backyards. They will, of course, ban children from using the equipment. Too much noise.

We fully expect that Martin will beat his chest and claim he "saved" the money that Koenig and HBM-I want to squander. But that will be a-surprise-LIE. Why? Because there is no money for those or any of the other ridiculous items on council's "wish lists".

Why? Because Martin has already driven Villa Hills dead smack over the fiscal cliff.

As former Councilprovocateur Mike Pope once famously asked, "When will the spending end?"

SECRET MEETINGS WILL LIKELY CONTINUE

Martin is fighting to continue his monthly SECRET MEETINGS. Check out his pretzel logic. First Martin says people should come to the SECRET MEETING if they want to know what is being discussed. Then he refuses to publish a SECRET MEETING agenda. Our guess? Martin knows that people are less likely to show up if they don't know the purpose of the SECRET MEETING.

HBM-I continued her full-court press to prove to the entire city she is a complete idiot. How did she do it this time? By explaining that she supports Martin's SECRET MEETINGS because she wants to be able to talk about "business". Hey, Holly Boo Boo. It's THE PEOPLE'S BUSINESS. And, oh yeah. You're spending THEIR MONEY.

SHOCKING NEWS?

HBM-I also revealed some truly "shocking" news. Did you know that they sell beer up at the Franzen Field concession stand? No, seriously? They do! And you know what else? There are actually children up there playing on the sports fields. Holy Marti-MEM! We aren't kidding! Children around beer at the civic club. That has only happened since the civic club opened its doors is 1961. Oh, the humanity!

Always the hypocrite, Martin feigned great outrage at Holly Boo Boo's "news flash". He vowed to launch an immediate investigation.

And if he discovers that the civic club is doing what it has been doing since 1961? Why, Martin will void the lease THAT HE HASN'T BEEN HONORING FOR THE PAST TWENTY-SEVEN MONTHS.

Isn't this fun?