So, here are the MapQuest directions coming from malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's war-torn Villa Hills:
Head east on Buttermilk Pike and turn north on to Dixie Highway. You'll pass a small strip center on your right that includes Krakatoa Chiropractic and Chernobyl Cutlery.
Continue on exactly three miles to the traffic island and turn west at the light on to Little Big Horn Highway.
Continue west on Little Big Horn Highway to the fourth traffic light. You will see the Alamo Rent-A-Car on your right. Turn south on to Avalanche Avenue.
Continue on Avalanche Avenue 1.8 miles and then turn west on Rockslide Road.
Continue .5 miles on Rockslide Road to the stop sign and head south on the Kamikaze Cut-Off.
Continue .8 miles and head west on the Bhopal Bypass. Mrs. O'Leary's Dairy Farm is on your right.
Continue 1.1 miles on the Bhopal Bypass and then head south on Black Death Boulevard at the second traffic light. Broken Arrow Antiques will be on your right.
Continue .7 miles past the Lusitania Lounge and the Thai-Tanic Restaurant will be on the left. (Note: If you pass Hindenburg High School, you have gone too far.)
Yes, the first three dreadful years of the Martin Mis-administration have been a disaster of epic proportions that only the passage of another 318 arduous days can possibly begin to repair.
