The
most egregious Martin lie? The revelation that the warnings of Martin’s covert
plan to disband the City’s police department were absolutely true and that Martin’s
repeated denials were duplicitous deceptions.
Our staff
has been discussing our predictions now for many weeks. Remember, Martin stands
for re-election in 2014. The tiny tyrant will be serving up flame-broiled
whoppers like never before. And brothers and sisters, that is really saying something.
So what’s in store for 2014?
· Despite
the current conventional wisdom, Martin will
run for re-election. Yes, four appellate judges did opine that
Martin’s signing of his deceased mother’s name on his deceased mother’s child
support checks and his cashing of his deceased mother’s checks did fit the very
definition of FORGERY. Yes, Martin
did receive a “confidential” reprimand from the Villa Hills Ethics Board. Yes,
Martin did receive a judicial dressing-down for his illegal destruction of City
records. Yes, Martin was CONVICTED
on seven of nine counts of Official Misconduct and Neglect of Duty and was
spared removal only because of the inexplicable votes of former Councilmen Pope
and Noll. Yes, a recent, scathing report by the State Auditor laid bare Martin’s
incompetent mismanagement of taxpayer money. But despite all of this, we firmly
believe that Martin is absolutely convinced that he is doing a great job. Call
it crazy. And we do. But Martin will go “all in” to hold on to the one job he
believes validates his “shoddy-at-best” existence.
· History
will be re-written. Martin will go back to his old standby that
he “inherited a mess”. He’ll make the disingenuous claim that he “needs another
four years to finish the job”. But what is the truth? Martin was handed a City
that had just been rated “The Best City in Northern Kentucky” by Cincy Business magazine. Why? Because of
its low taxes, the lowest government spending per resident of any Northern
Kentucky City while still providing excellent services, low crime and great
schools. The past three years of Martin mismanagement have brought a serious crime
wave, non-stop strife and financial woes. It is worth noting that Villa Hills
didn’t even crack the top fifty of Tri-State communities in Cincy Business’
most recent rankings.
· Martin
will have to ask City Council for even more money for legal fees.
Yes, we know. City Council just approved an amendment to the current City
budget that already increased the legal fee line item by ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT PERCENT
(only Councilmembers Baehner and Balson voted against the increase). But
all signs are that more lawsuits are imminent. Also, despite the fact that the
Civil Service Ordinance was duly enacted by City Council in 2010, Martin’s odd
challenge to their legal authority is still unresolved.
· Martin
will make another attempt to disband the local police department this year.
Wrapped in the bogus claim that he is just looking for ways to save money,
Martin will resurrect his effort to disband the local police department. The
Martin Chronicles believes that Martin is once again underestimating the public
sentiment that opposes his radical plan. But we also believe Martin has a
fallback plan. The diminutive dictator hopes that his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry’s
costly investigation of the State Auditor’s investigation of the Kentucky Labor
Department’s investigation of Martin’s mishandling of City employee expenses
provides the diminutive dictator the cover he needs to fire both Police Chief
Dan Goodenough and Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman. Then the misdirecting
Martin can falsely claim that he “has no choice” but to seek outside police
coverage.
· Martin
will make another attempt to pass HIS UNFAIR ENERGY TAX this year.
Martin knows that bilious blowhard Judge Executive Steve Arlinghaus is about to
bail on his commitment to collect the UNFAIR
$40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. So, the little liar remains desperate for an
alternate source of revenue for his nonexistent street repair and replacement program.
If not the UNFAIR ENERGY TAX, then
look for a proposed increase in the SNEAKY
INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX.
· Look
for at least one “straw man” mayoral candidate.
Martin is dumber than the proverbial box of rocks. But The Martin Chronicles is
willing to take the leap of faith required to believe that even the
mallet-headed Martin can do basic math. Despite running perhaps one of the
dirtiest, disingenuous mayoral campaigns in local politics in 2010, the
mindless mullah barely eked out an election victory. In a one-on-one contest, a
swing of barely more than forty votes would mean defeat for the mendacious
Martin. So, look for Martin to convince at least one of his hillbilly lynchmob
to throw a hat in to the 2014 mayor’s race. Why? To divide what is sure to be a
strong anti-Martin vote. Don’t be so sure that this dishonest strategy can’t be
successful.
The
Martin Chronicles has received numerous e-mails, phone calls and tweets asking
us for our prediction for the outcome of the Villa Hills 2014 mayoral election
that is now just a little more than 300 surely-to-be-tumult-filled
days away. As the mysterious Magic Eight Ball sometimes says, “Cannot predict
now”.
You
see, there are still far too many “unknowns” to predict the outcome of the
election.
· How many mayoral candidates will there be? If there are six candidates vying for the mayor’s office, the undeserving and decidedly corrupt Martin could rally enough of his hillbilly lynchmob to re-elect him with less than twenty percent of the total votes cast. While that is the “nightmare scenario”, it could happen.
· How attentive have and will the voters of Villa Hills truly have been and be? Despite all of the negative media coverage, some of the electorate will mindlessly cast their all-important vote for a name they have heard before. No matter the context in which they heard it. As P.T Barnum once famously said, “I don’t care what they say about me. Just make sure they spell my name right!” Martin is a pretty easy name to spell. In the Villa Hills’ malfeasant Mayor Martin’s case, his name is spelled C-R-O-O-K. Will that fact be enough to unseat him?
· How susceptible will the Villa Hills voters be to the endless, egregious lies Martin will surely tell in his shameless attempt to gain re-election? Our smart readers know the drill. “I found thirty-thousand dollars, even though I don’t know how.” “I love Villa Hills.” “(Despite the fact that he was most assuredly suing them for $1.505 million) I am happy to tell you that I am not suing you.” “We all just need to work together (even though I have no intention of doing so.)” And on and on and on and on and on and on. A razor-thin margin bought in to his lies in 2010. A larger majority bought his lies in 2012. Again, our smart readers know the drill. “Villa Hills needs a new City Council.” “They just won’t work with me.” “Give me a council who will work with me and I will show you what I can do.” And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Despite the tiny tyrant’s endless failures and malfeasance, that at-least, razor-thin majority might still exist.
Look,
we know that in a head-to-head matchup against almost anyone running against
the diminutive dictator where voters were paying at least some attention,
Martin would be annihilated. In that case, the mysterious Magic Eight Ball
would say, “It is certain”.
The Martin Chronicles just isn’t sure
that is the case.
