Moving The City Forward (?)

The Martin Chronicles can feel the anticipation building. The excitement is palpable. The fiddles and banjos are all tuned. The ass clowns from the civic club are ready to toast-and toast and toast and toast and toast and toast some more-the new era. No more bullying. No more blaming. No more infighting. No more bickering. The City is about to begin moving forward (?) once again.

What's causing this excessive ebullience? Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin finally has a city council who will work with him. Now we'll see just what The Nitwit From Norwood is truly capable of.

Sure. We could worry about Shorty's previous track record. But why? All those things were everybody else's fault. The-to be very kind-serial "screw-ups" that led to Shorty's 2007 forgery arrest? Forgery schmorgery! The reprimand from the Ethics Board? Who cares? The seven convictions on charges of misconduct and neglect of duty? So what? His unlicensed business? What's the big deal? Hey, we had a parade! And a skirt game!

This new city council should have learned something from what happened over the past two years. They need to acquiesce to the wishes of the The Fidgety Forger. Resistance is futile.

• When Martin appoints a new city attorney, approve his appointment without debate.  
• When Martin brings you a contract for farmed-out police protection, authorize him to sign it immediately.
• When Martin brings you a contract for bilious Kenton Kounty Boss Steve Arlinghaus' emergency dispatch services, authorize him to sign that too.
• If Martin decides you don't really need to see much or anything in the way of financial data, just smile and say "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
• If the thought ever crosses your mind why the taxpayers continue to pay $47.50-per-hour-crony-hire-clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber despite the fact that she resigned in November, 2011, keep it to yourself.
• If you think Martin is lying to you-you're right-but always, always, always let it go.
• When Martin tells you that everything that has gone wrong is somebody else's fault, believe him! Or, at least keep your mouth shut about it..

Listen, it's just not worth it. You've been had. Open your mouth and The Little CEO will send every hayseed, gun nut, hick, rube and ridge runner he can muster to the podium to harangue you with stupid questions. Who needs that? Do you really want to see gigantic homemade signs accusing you of "bullying" or "blaming" The Norwood Sewer Rat? Of course you don't. You can do the next two years standing on your head if you have to.

Maybe you didn't know what you were getting in to then. But we suspect you're starting to figure it out now. You're going to get your first public dose tomorrow night.