The Martin Chronicles has been receiving a number of troubling reports from the recent Villa Hills "wreck committee" meeting. It seems that the perpetually-constipated General Zod told the assembled masses that he "gave the civic club's equipment to the city" to maintain the ballfields some time ago. Hearing that, vile ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig contacted Public Works Director Derrick Yelton, only to learn that the city never received the equipment as General Zod claimed.
Oh really? Is that a fact? That's damned strange, isn't it? So if the civic club no longer has their equipment and the City doesn't have the civic club equipment then just where in the wide, wide world of sports is it? Several questions are bouncing around town.
- Is General Zod's memory of this incorrect?
- Did the civic club ever really have any equipment?
- Does the civic club really still have the equipment?
- Did the City ever have the equipment General Zod claims he gave them?
- Was it given-or perhaps sold-to some other unknown entity?
- If it was sold to some other entity, where are the proceeds from that sale?
The ass clowns at the civic club need to ask some serious questions. But they probably won't. One more agitated-and sane-member of the civic club asked, "Why does it seem like General Zod is always around when club money or club resources go missing?" We don't know if that is a fair question at this point. But we fully intend to find out.
By the way, why is business correspondence for contractor Ron Bree-husband of inert and inept Interim City Clerk Sue Bree-coming to the taxpayer-funded fax machine at the City Building? That doesn't seem right. We wonder if Shorty's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry would see that as some sort of ethical problem? We wonder what former Councilschmuck Mike Pope would think about this? Pope was very upset simply because Ron Bree did work for the City some years back.What does Pope think about the possibility of Ron Bree running his business out of the taxpayer-funded City Building? Some-not us-speculate that perhaps Mr. Bree and the unlicensed handyman Mike Martin are launching some kind of joint business venture. We are investigating.
Next, the moronic Martin's Tea Party voting bloc is probably happy to hear that he is saving, well, uh, er, tens of dollars on light bulbs, paper towels, car washes and coffee. Do they realize that The Norwood Nitwit has squandered more than $200,000 in unnecessary overtime this year? We doubt it. It is probably too big of a number for the "Don't Tread On Me" flag-wavers to wrap their empty heads around anyway.
Now batting, HBM-I (Holly Boo Boo) may want to consider the fact that being highly critical of former council people to those doing business with the City isn't too smart. But then neither is she. You see Holly Boo Boo, losing an election is not the equivalent of losing all of your friends. What's that old expression? Holly Boo Boo would be far better keeping her meandering mouth shut and let those around her think she might be stupid rather than flap her jaws and confirm everyone's suspicions. Some think HBM-I may be even dumber than $47.50 per hour, crony-hire, bucket-headed bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber. Brothers and sisters, that is saying something.
And we still aren't in the second month of Martin's "golden moment".
The Martin Chronicles is guessing that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is holding so many off-the-radar-screen meetings for more than just keeping the public in the dark. What else is The Norwood Nitwit doing? Sources seem to think that Shorty is trying to keep his legendary incompetence under wraps as well.
You see, even someone as incredibly stupid as Mayor Moron is probably not so incredibly stupid that he doesn't have at least some vague sense of how incredibly stupid he is. Heck, we don't know. Maybe Shorty is getting guidance from his high-priced whore Toad McMurtry. Or, perhaps advice is being lent by former one-term council member and failed State Senate candidate Jim Noll. Some even think assistance is being offered by bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Barfinghaus or maybe even George Ripoffberger. Who knows? Better yet, who cares?
Witnesses say that Martin held yet another clandestine meeting last night. What is Shorty up to now? We don't know-yet. There is one thing we are sure of though. This latest surreptitious shindig will lead to yet another foul-up of some kind to add to The Fidgety Forger's long, legendary line of foul-ups. Rest assured, however, that whatever goes haywire will be somebody else's fault.
We have also learned that there was another small, covert meeting on Monday night. Again, we aren't entirely sure what ground was being covered (up), but witnesses say that HBM-I (Holly Boo Boo) and Flyin' Brian Wischer were seen entering and leaving the building.
We have also learned that the vile ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig held a recreation committee meeting the other night. Committee members refer to it as the "wreck committee". Given who is involved, we understand why.
Okay, since you're asking, we'll disclose a couple of the "wreck committee" members. First, it's great to see perpetually-constipated General Zod back in the public arena again. We don't know what contributions the General will make, but we know they will be bad. Very bad.
We're also very pleased to see Joe Ciameasigntosteal on board. He fits right in with this band of ne'er-do-wells. Sources say that Ciameasigntosteal is trying to convince the ass clowns from the civic club to foot the entire bill for a new Fire In The Hills. Why? Ciameasigntosteal says the miasmic Martin has a hankering to dress up in women's clothes and wave at some soft balls again. Boy howdy.
The best news? The Dissembling Doofus' "golden moment" is still only in its first month. This is gettin' really good.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Now that the courts have ruled that firearms cannot be prohibited from municipal buildings look for everyone to "gun-up" the third Wednesday of every month at Villa Hills council meetings. "Open meetin's? We don't need no steenkin' open meetin's".]
The Martin Chronicles solicited the expertise of a civil engineer to help us understand the latest in an already long line of taxpayer-funded waste, fraud and abuse in what the hillbillies and hand-wringers thought was going to be Villa Hills' meat-headed Mayor Mike Martin's golden moment. If by that these yahoos and civic club ass clowns meant it was far less likely that Shorty would be convicted on another seven charges of misconduct and neglect of duty they were probably right. But that's not what those morons meant.
So let's talk about the disaster that the vile, ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig is cooking up in her miscast role of chairman of the public works committee. Koenig plans to discharge tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars beneath the aging streets of Villa Hills. Why? The repulsive Koenig doesn't possess the first clue why. But the vile ancient crocodile sure was eager to announce all of the money she was going to waste doing "lots more mudjacking".
Enter our civil engineer. This experienced professional acknowledges that mudjacking-also known as slab-jacking-has its place. But the engineer is convinced that malicious Mary has no idea what that "place" is.
The engineer explained that mud-jacking involves pumping extremely large amounts of expensive grout beneath the concrete streets. The purpose? To fill the voids created by water that is flowing beneath the streets.
Sounds great right? But our expert went on to explain that filling the voids beneath the streets does not solve the water problem. Think about it. When you prevent flowing water from going in one direction, what does it do? It goes in a different direction. Simple right? But for Mayor Moron and his band of meatheads, not so much.
Interestingly, the cost of such mudjacking in Villa Hills always seems to fall just a few dollars short of the amount that triggers the mandated bidding process. [For the record, that is the subject of another Martin Chronicles investigation.] So every time The Fidgety Forger and the repulsive Koenig witlessly decide to divert flowing water elsewhere, it's going to cost YOU roughly TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
So exactly why is Mary's mudjacking such a waste? Because The Nitwit From Norwood is doing absolutely nothing to solve the ongoing, persistent problem of water flowing beneath the streets of his little town. YOU are paying TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to-maybe-add a few years of life to a void-filled street. And-oh by the way-really only sending the water in a different direction to do what? Create new voids.
Look, you now know The Corrupt CEO lied to you when he promised you he was going to eliminate the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX as he travelled door to door spreading lies and libel in his 2010 dirtbag mayoral campaign. Working with his buddy County Boss Steve Barfinghaus, Shorty continues to fleece you out of the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX to this day. So why doesn't The Little CEO do something smart with YOUR money? Wait a minute. It's The Stammering Swiveler. Never mind.
It will get worse before it gets better. Look for the your-money-grubbing Koenig to begin to bellow and bray about the need for more revenue [read: more of YOUR money] for her street "repair" efforts. But hey, it's only twenty specialty pizzas and two cases of beer.
One last question. Where in the world is former Councilloon Mike Pope? Has he finally seen a detailed fifty-year road plan that satisfies him from the malicious Councilman Koenig? We don't think so.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We understand that ramping-up-to-run-Shorty-out-of-town-in-2014-shadow mayoral candidate Teddy Stilleto does have a common-sense road plan ready to go in Villa Hills.]
The Martin Chronicles staff spent its Sunday in the usual fashion. We celebrated hosting our 90,000th visitor. And our publisher treated us all to a delicious buffet breakfast (including a steady stream of Mimosas) and we talked at length about stories we are pursuing. There are several. Here is just a partial list.
- We are exploring the ongoing efforts of Villa Hills' mental-case Mayor Mike Martin to install unemployed attorney and failed State Senate Candidate Jim Noll as the troubled town's next City attorney. While we do not yet endorse this theory, many are more convinced than ever that this lucrative ($70K) post is a raw Martin payback to Noll for his pre-hearing GUARANTEE that there was nothing the missionless drifter could hear that would get him to vote to remove Shorty. How else can you explain hiring someone with NO MUNICIPAL LAW EXPERIENCE to serve as City attorney? What's a caucus?!? C'mon man!!
- We are tracking down the final cost to the taxpayers for The Fidgety Forger sending HBM-I (Holly Boo Boo) and Flyin' Brian R. Wischer to Lexington under the false premise that they were taking Kentucky League of Cities (KLC) Newly Elected Officials Training. As we have reported, the reality was embarrassingly heavy drinking and missed classes. And Holly Boo Boo and Flyin' Brian are less than one month in.
- We are following up on reports that The Norwood Nitwit's administrative staff is STILL having inexplicable difficulty filling Open Records requests. There also seems to continue to be Records Retention issues. Why? We have learned that documents created just last fall ARE ALREADY MISSING.
- We have a reporter working on numerous reports of strong disagreements between The Shiftless Swiveler and his newly elected council. Sources are reporting loud arguments between Shorty and what he thought would be his endlessly-loyal entourage about matters large and small. While we aren't a huge fan of most on the new council, we remind them that the hillbilly lynchmob is surely warming up in the bullpen. We also hope that the dim-witted hayseed living on the bend at Rogers Road hasn't converted his gigantic NO MORE BULLYING OR BLAMING sign into an outhouse just yet.
- We are examining The Corrupt CEO's efforts to finally find a City Clerk. What are the odds that Martin will simply pull another crony hire? Is the giantess MARY HARDMAN destined to be the next City Clerk? Will the inert and inept Interim City Clerk finally be handed her well-deserved walking papers? If so, will the Interim City Clerk actually read them or will she simply continue to come in every day and play solitaire on her taxpayer-funded computer?
- We are digging in to THE REAL REASON the TAXPAYERS CONTINUE TO PAY $47.50 per hour to crony-hire, bucket-headed clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber when she publicly announced that she RESIGNED IN NOVEMBER 2011. In a related story, we are looking in to why Councilmember Jim "Silent Cal" Cahill is allowing himself to be made the fall guy by the malfeasant Martin for the dreadful condition of the City's financial records.
- We are delving in to this curious question as well. Why is every City official in every other Kenton County City openly discussing the mendacious Martin's plans to disband the Villa Hills Police Department and contract with an outside agency and yet Shorty continues to deny it?
- We are working hard to uncover the real Teddy Stiletto. What is the dirt Stiletto claims to have on Martin that supposedly over-shadows everything else we have already learned? And brothers and sisters, that is saying something indeed.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: By the way, not only does Cordelia Schaber hold the record for being paid the longest by the taxpayers after tendering a resignation, it seems that The Bucket-Headed Bumpkin also has the distinction of being half of the first husband and wife team in Villa Hills to lose City Council races. And we thank the Almighty Spirit for that!]
The Martin Chronicles has stocked up on plenty of milk, bread and eggs. Why? Because everyone knows that French toast is the official survival food for blizzards. We have enough on hand to feed the staff for weeks. Or at least until they get sick and tired of French toast. Then they are on their own.
We are following several new story leads about Villa Hills' malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Reign of Error coming in via phone and email. While Martin's burgeoning hillbilly voting bloc, the ass clowns from the civic club and those overcome with gratitude because Shorty left church early to unclog their sister's toilet would probably whine and disagree, it is becoming abundantly clear that no number of new councilpeople will cure the ills of Villa Hills dysfunctional City government. The root cause of the problems is the dishonest and bungling Nitwit From Norwood, Mike Martin.
It hasn't been one month and the bloom is already off the rose:
- Holly Boo Boo and Brian R. Wischer travel to Lexington-on your dime-allegedly to learn their new roles and responsibilites. Thanks to our publisher's contacts at the Kentucky League of Cities we know nothing of the sort happened. Instead, waste and disgrace.
- We know that the City's financial information continues to be a tangled bag of snakes. Yes, Shorty sent some gibberish to the council right before the last meeting, but it was chock full of errors and questionable entries. Why do the taxpayers continue to pay bucketheaded bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber $47.50 per hour for this incompetence when she resigned in November 2011?
- A gentle word of advice to Councilmember Jim Cahill. Our sources tell us you possess an excellent accounting mind. But be careful saying things like, "Yeah, we know these reports aren't accurate. But the errors aren't material. So lets go ahead and approve these reports anyway". When things go haywire-and they will-rest assured that the Fidgety Forger will tell the State Auditor that it was all your fault. Just sayin'.
- Several sources are confirming that The Little CEO and the vile, ancient crocodile Mary Koenig are already in a fierce battle for control. Shorty may want to invest in a Nut Buddy.
- For some reason The Swiveling Snake Oil Salesman has decided to jettison his City Attorney Mike Duncan. The list of applicants reads like "CRONIES ON PARADE". Steve Wolnitzek? Really? He's represents (Shorty co-defendant) Dale Schaber in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit for the love of the Almighty Spirit. Seriously? C'mon man!
- Bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus is very close to sealing the deal with Mayor Moron on the surrender of several City services. Anyone who thinks that the slumlord Arlinghaus will provide better services is a shoe-in to be accepted as a lifetime member of Dead Pecker's Row. We wish you well.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles is on the trail of other interesting stories as well. We are trying to get more information on someone named Teddy Stilleto. We are hearing that the mysterious Teddy Stilleto is taking bold steps towards becoming a real political force in Villa Hills. Some suspect that Stilleto is preparing to boot out the malfeasant Martin in the 2014 mayors race. Won't that be a kick?]
The Martin Chronicles has known that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is a vindictive little runt seething with hatred and an overwhelming desire for vengeance for a long time. Perhaps because many of them are the same way as The Little CEO, the rapidly growing hillbilly voting block in Villa Hills seems to have a blind spot when it comes to that very ugly side of Shorty.
Some reformed civic club ass clowns recently shared their insights on The Nitwit From Norwood. They told our reporter that Martin generally came off as "an ill-informed radical" when he drank beer and spouted off at the bar. At least in the beginning.
Martin became famous for describing huge conspiracies and accusing everyone of unsubstantiated wrongdoing. Then something happened. Namely, Martin's 2007 forgery arrest. Shorty's bizarre banter then evolved from pointless nitwittery to dangerous threats.
Martin fired up Dead Peckers Row nightly with chants of "F" him, "F" her, "F" them, "F" this, "F" that. He vowed to settle all his outstanding scores. He was gonna get 'em. He was gonna "pick 'em off one at a time". You know what? It has been working so far.
What's next in The Fidgety Forger's crosshairs? Sources say he is just several weeks away from announcing the elimination of the Villa Hills Police Department. Mayor Moron will say he's doing it to "save you lots of money". The reality? Shorty will finally get the revenge he has wanted so badly ever since his forgery arrest.
The hillbillies, rubes, hicks, hayseeds and ridge runners are getting EXACTLY what they voted for. The rest of us are going to have to wait 649 days to see if the City can be turned around. 92 more weeks. 21 more council meetings. Potentially 21 more caucus gatherings. Yep. November 4, 2014. Circle that day on your calendar. There is a whole lot of work to do between now and then.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We'll have an update on the Martin goon squad's attempt to take over the Voice of Villa Hills. There has been DIRECT contact.The story may just make your blood "curd-le".]
The Martin Chronicles recently posted about a mindless piece of pap published in the Community Recorder reporting that Villa Hills' malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's top desire for 2013 is "GOOD PUBLICITY". While the shallowness of Martin's nitwittery is no surprise, his comments may also offer a warning of more looming shenanigans.
What shenanigans might Martin and his goon squad be cooking up now? Remember, past is prologue. The biggest goon in Martin's squad of goons is that ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig. And does she ever have a past.
Stay with us here. Several long-time observers tell us that Councilman Koenig had a plan for "good publicity" the last time she was in a position to lead a mayor around by the ear. She almost pulled it off then. She may be willing to give it another try. She's been stewing in her swamp for a dozen years after all.
So what is it? Well, don't be surprised if Martin, Koenig, HBM-I, Brian Wischer or some combination thereof announce that they are going to try to "bring back" the Voice of Villa Hills. Hopefully, some of you realize that no one needs to "bring back" the Voice. Why? Because it didn't go anywhere. It simply went the way of many publications. The Voice went digital.
So why would Shorty describe it as "bringing it back"? That's easy. Because that sounds a lot less controversial than saying he wants to "TAKE IT OVER". But maybe-just maybe-The Fidgety Forger and his merry band of brainless bumpkins want to do exactly that. Shorty is devious enough to know that most of the hillbillies in his little suburb would never figure out what he was up to.
Why would The Norwood Sewer Rat want to TAKE OVER THE VOICE? He's virtually illiterate after all. But past events provide powerful clues.
- Martin earns himself a reprimand from the City's Ethics Board for improperly using City resources and personnel to distribute a PRO ROAD TAX flyer in the November 2011 Voice of Villa Hills
- Martin files a bogus Better Business Bureau claim against the Voice of Villa Hills
- Martin distributes a LIBELOUS DIATRIBE in the April 2012 Voice
- Martin enlists members of his hillbilly lynchmob to post PRO-SHORTY comments on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page
- Martin wastes YOUR tax dollars paying inert Interim City Clerk Sue Bree to count Voice of Villa Hills Facebook posts
Martin is not very bright. But he is just bright enough to know that his hillbilly followers are even less bright than him. Control the message and control the people. Why not? The Little CEO stands for re-election is just 650 days.
The Martin Chronicles doesn't really wonder who to believe. The choice is stark. On the one hand we have Villa Hills' malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin telling anyone who will listen that he has no intention to disband the Villa Hilla Hills Police Department and contract with another agency for service. On the other hand, Martin's plans to disband the Villa Hills Police Department and contract with another agency for service were recently-and openly-discussed by bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus and at the Ft. Mitchell City Council meeting.
Given Martin's track record over the past two-plus years when it comes to truth-telling, we suspect that the folks from Kenton County and Ft. Mitchell have a better handle on what's coming than any of the poor people who are taking Martin at his word. Numerous sources say that the push to contract for police protection is well underway and will be made public well past the time when anyone can make much of a fuss about it.
Have you noticed the increased number of Kenton County, Erlanger and even Ft. Mitchell police cruisers in Villa Hills? We certainly have.
Look for Martin to announce this "great plan to save the taxpayer's all kinds of money" as soon as March as part of preliminary budget discussions. Hey, everyone should have known this was coming well before the 2010 elections. But it seems they didn't.
That's okay. We can all just buy more guns.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles will be welcoming its' 90,000th visitor before the week is out thanks in large part to the continued misadventures of the malfeasant Mayor Shorty Martin. It's a blessing-and a curse.]
The Martin Chronicles is wondering exactly why Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin WASTED YOUR TAX DOLLARS sending certain council members to the Kentucky League of Cities (KLC) training for newly elected officials. One of the newly-minted council people evidently took the training seriously. Two others, not so much.
We suspect that the KLC training and the multi-night stays at the Embassy Suites-interestingly for the two councilmembers who didn't seem to take the training seriously- COST A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN THE $250 THAT THE MALADJUSTED MAYOR MIKE MARTIN SAID THE OPEN RECORDS AND RECORD RETENTION TRAINING COST. You remember, don't you? Shorty promised to get his nincompoop interim City Clerk some training, but then says he changed his mind when he said "it cost $250." A lame excuse offered up by a lame-brain.
We've already reported that HBM-I did her absolute best Foster Brooks impression while attending the party held in the Embassy Suites Manager's party room. That's mostly just an embarrassment. The only thing really wasted there were countless thousands more of Holly Boo Boo's brain cells. Evidently nothing new.
It became a WASTE OF YOUR TAXPAYER MONEY when HBM-I showed up two hours late for the already-paid-for-with-your-tax-dollars KLC training the next day. This after YOU PAID for HBM-I's room at The Embassy Suites the night before.
So what classes did HBM-I miss THAT YOU ALREADY PAID FOR? She missed important classes on RISK ASSESSMENT and ETHICS. Given all of the current and pending lawsuits and the mendacious Martin's problems of misconduct and neglect of duty in Villa Hills City government these past twenty-five months HBM-I definitely should have been there. We can only guess why she was so late. And so can you.
Oh, it get's better. Rookie Councilmember Brian R. Wischer was also at the TAXPAYER FUNDED TRAINING in Lexington. At least he was registered. It's the darndest thing. Yes, HBM-I was two hours late. BUT BRIAN R. WISCHER DIDN'T SHOW UP ON THE LAST DAY AT ALL.
Yes, indeed. The hillbilly voters of Villa Hills ARE GETTING EXACTLY WHAT THEY VOTED FOR. How do we know that? Because mental-case Mayor Mike Martin told us so. What about the rest of us? Well, we're going to have to wait the 652 days until November 4, 2014. Then maybe-just maybe-enough people will have finally figured out they are being lied to time and time and time and time and time again. The Martin Chronicles is not holding its collective breath.
The Martin Chronicles publisher has developed a wide range of sources over the years. He has received word from his contacts with the Kentucky League of Cities ( KLC) in Lexington about some of the goings-on at the Newly-Elected Officials Training held there this week. It's not like we need a whole lot more evidence about the "wisdom" of the voters of Villa Hills. But the evidence just keeps rolling in!
As you would expect, HBM-I was one of the Villa Hills taxpayer-funded attendees. Several witnesses told our publisher that they were not impressed by Holly Boo-Boo's classroom performance. Her "performance" in the Embassy Suites Manager's Party Room has left an ever-lasting impression however.
An economist might say that HBM-I's "propensity to consume" free alcohol was off the charts. A number of long-time KLC observers simply said that they hadn't seen anybody that loaded since Foster Brooks performed at the annual KLC convention in 1996. Our reporters are still trying to find out how a Villa Hills Civic Club bar stool made it to the Embassy Suites.
While we are on the subject of Holly Boo-Boo, we have to address her comments at Wednesday's council meeting. HBM-I tried to explain away the fact that she skipped the recent SECRET MEETING discussion of the now-defunct Civil Service Commission to sit and drink less than a hundred yards away with the ass clowns at the civic club. HBM-I assured everyone that while she ducked the meeting, she "did her homework" on the issue.
First of all, we know better. We know that ancient alligator Mary Koenig had already given HBM-I her marching orders on how to vote. Look, if Holly Boo-Boo had done so much "homework" on the issue, didn't she owe it to her colleagues to come to the meeting to share her insights? She took the oath. She should do the work.
While we are on the subject of-in this case potential-embarrassments, we are hearing that one-term councilmember and failed State Senate candidate Jim Noll is Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's clear top pick to replace long-serving City Attorney Mike Duncan. Only because we enjoy a good spectacle, we are really, really, really pulling for this one.
In any normal City (not Villa Hills) questions might be raised about the judgment of such an appointment. While we are making no such allegation, questions are already being raised about a potential quid pro quo. Some-but not us- are suggesting that Janet Martin's active participation in Noll's failed State Senate bid right in the middle of her hare-brained husband's removal hearing really wasn't enough to secure Noll's GUARANTEED "NO" VOTE against removal. Some-but not us-are offering the theory that the promise of the City Attorney's post was necessary to guarantee a "NO" VOTE from the unemployed attorney.
Yes, it appears that the hillbilly voters in Villa Hills ARE GETTING EXACTLY WHAT THEY VOTED FOR. The rest of us are going to have to wait the 655 days until November 4, 2014 to see of there is any hope for what is left of Villa Hills.
The Martin Chronicles wasn't surprised by much of anything from Wednesday's City Council meeting. To borrow a little Will Shakespeare, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin-run meetings are typically a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. This past meeting-the first NON-SECRET MEETING for the new council-was mostly no exception.
Here's our newsbriefs and notes:
- Martin wants council to sign-off on his request that he only be required to produce financial reports quarterly. The obvious question? Is that really anything new? The City's financial reports have been a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma from almost Day One of Martin's Reign of Error. Shorty will let the taxpayers know what he is doing with their money when he is darn good and ready. The problem is that he is never ready.
- Ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig bristled when someone made the seemingly reasonable request that Shorty ask the TBNK to cover all of Villa Hills meetings., even the SECRET MEETINGS. The reasonable requestor's logic? The people have a right to know what their City Government is up to. The Nitwit From Norwood promised "transparency" during his dirtbag 2010 mayoral campaign after all. We suspect Shorty just really doesn't know what "transparency" means. Hey, back off! It's four syllables! Big words are HARD!
- Martin plans to file taxpayer-funded lawsuits against residents who dare to criticize him on Facebook and other social networking sites. This coming from The Little Dipstick who regularly libels, defames and slanders his predecessor, the previous council, the police chief, the police detective, the bank teller, the interim City Clerk, the assistant city clerk, the public works director, various and sundry police officers, residents here and there and his neighbor's dog. We know The Gnomish Gun Nut is a huge fan of The Second Amendment. The First Amendment? Not so much.
- Outgoing City Attorney Mike Duncan must have felt like he was watching his own autopsy last night. With Duncan sitting right next to him, The Little CEO explained that he is going to form a committee of great legal minds from the civic club bar to review the new City Attorney applications. Then he is going to hire former councilman and failed State Senate candidate Jim Noll.
- We also don't understand why in the wide, wide world of sports the meeting lasted so long. So much bloviation. So little accomplished.
The Martin Chronicles is certain that the next 656 days are going to be highly entertaining. It's always fun watching empty-headed, tinpot dictators like Shorty strut and beat their chest. We know almost every tri-state resident outside Villa Hills city limits understands that Martin is a crook. We'll find out if the hillbillies inside the City have learned anything when November 4, 2014 finally gets here.
The Martin Chronicles is sure that if you have been reading our blog for any length of time you know we have less-than-zero regard for bilious blowhard Kenton Kounty Boss Steve "I don't pay my Villa Hills' UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX" Arlinghaus. But we do pay attention to him. Much like we would pay attention to a rattle snake, scorpion or skunk.
So what did Boss Taxpayer-Funded-Granite-Counter-Tops say at last night's Villa Hills council debacle? If you watched it, you know. If you didn't, we'll clue you in.
Arlinghaus was waxing ineloquently about the wondrousness that is the Kounty emergency dispatch service. It appears that malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills will be switching to the Kounty service by the end of the calendar year. As Boss Arlinghaus was explaining this grim fact he added, "AND WE DON"T KNOW WHERE YOUR POLICE DEPARTMENT WILL BE BY THEN." You don't say? We did not know that.
So here it comes. The out-of-date Mary Koenig just freed up Shorty to fire the police chief. Next Arlinghaus sends in the Kenton Kounty Kops. Our sources tell us that The Norwood Nitwit may "go public" with his plans as soon as March.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We'll be reporting a whole lot more. On a not-so-lighter note, one quipster was shocked when seeing Councilwoman HBM-I on television. The comment? "Hey, I know they say the camera adds ten pounds. But, c'mon. She isn't Holly Boo Boo. She's Holly Moo Moo!]
The Martin Chronicles feels it's important to write that we didn't have a dog in the Civil Service Commission fight. It's wasn't our issue. In reality, the only people really effected by the existence-or now non-existence-of the Civil Service Commission are the already deeply demoralized employees of The City of Villa Hills. Heck, many of you would be demoralized as well if you had to work for The Norwood Nitwit.
Council voted 3-3 to repeal the Civil Service Commission at last night's meeting. Not surprisingly, The Fidgety Forger cast the tie-breaking vote in favor of repeal. We think that pattern will continue for most of the next two years. Three serious-minded council people will weigh the merits of each issue. At least until Shorty's hillbilly lynchmob and the ass clowns from the civic club beat Councilmembers Baehner, Balson and Cahill into submission.
There were some memorable moments leading up to the vote. Is The Martin Chronicles alone in seeing the rich irony dripping from the venomous ancient crocodile Mary Koenig's comment that "the Civil Service Commission is out-of-date?" "Out-of-date" Fraulein Koenig? Seriously? Did you just criticize something for being "out-of-date"? "Out-of-date" like Mike Martin's mustache? "Out-of date" like disco music? "Out-of-date" like typewriters? "Out-of-date" like Korean War C-Rations? Or even far more "out-of-date" like you?
We do have two concerns about last night's vote. The ossified Mary Koenig has already explained that the Civil Service Commission needed to be disbanded because "Martin needs to fire Chief Goodenough". Is that what Shorty meant when he wrote in his libelous manifesto of April, 2012 that "YOU ARE GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU VOTED FOR"? We aren't sure. Given Villa Hills' exploding hillbilly voting bloc it's possible. But we hope not.
Secondly, Martin's massive incompetence is now unleashed. Just look at the two cronies Martin has hired on his own. Both are an embarrassment. You're paying bucket-headed bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber $47.50 per hour for what? And MARY HARDMAN? You remember MARY HARDMAN. You know, the giantess who thought she read in a book somewhere that it was really okay to illegally torch City documents? What a mess. You can now look for much more of the same cronyism and nitwittery.
Last night's vote may have been pointless. The Unlicensed Handyman may already have a way to finally get rid of Chief Goodenough and the rest of the Police Department anyway. As we have reported, Kenton Kounty Kops may be in Villa Hills very near future.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We'll have further reports on last night's debacle. Here's a tease. It looks like Villa Hills' Recreation Committee has "GONE MEDIEVAL".]
The Martin Chronicles has no idea what tonight's Villa Hills City Council meeting will bring. Malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin will be surrounded by an entirely new group of councilmembers. Yes, we know. There are two retreads (Cahill and the venomous Koenig). But they have been gone for several years.
We suspect that the new council will be chastened by the hillbilly beatdown Shorty's low-IQ lynchmob served up to their council predecessors. The Norwood Nitwit received a serious Ethics Board reprimand for misuse of City personnel and resources. It was revealed that the Fidgety Forger has been operating an unlicensed handyman business for several years. The Norwood Sewer Rat was convicted on seven counts of official misconduct and neglect of duty. Shorty ran afoul of Kentucky's Department of Labor. Nothing but incompetence and corruption.
So what did the town's rapidly-growing hillbilly voting block do? They accused the 2011-12 council of "bullying" and "blaming" and punished long-serving, excellent public servants at the polls for daring to expect The Little CEO to simply follow the same rules everyone else must follow. It makes perfect sense. If you are a hillbilly.
We also suspect that Martin will be operating with a sense of invincibility. That is both obvious and ominous. He survived all of the aforementioned offenses after all. Heck, he even walked away from his 2007 forgery arrest with nary a dent or ding. While he did not win the $1.505 MILLION cash explosion from the taxpayers he was suing for, he did manage to convince the civic club ass clowns and burgeoning hillbilly population that he was some good-government zealot who fell victim to a massive-and more importantly-mythical conspiracy.
There are a couple of things we will be watching. The new council asked Shorty to provide several pieces of information during the January 2 SECRET MEETING. Martin cheerfully promised to deliver it all immediately. He he he he he. Our sources tell us that The Norwood Sewer Rat has yet to keep that promise. But as we have previously reported, Martin isn't well, uh, ummm, very good at follow-through. There are people who requested information from The Crooked CEO in 2007 and have yet to receive it. Tonight will provide us some valuable insight on that score.
More specifically, will the matter of the wayward city financials be resolved? The January 2 SECRET MEETING brought the news that neither the council nor the finance committee "have seen financials for three months". Interestingly, documents alleged to be the November financial records are posted on the City's crappy website. A careful review of the December meeting minutes indicate that no financials were approved. Something doesn't quite add-up, if you will forgive a pun.
One long-time local observer thinks that the Schaber family's new, giant telescope was purchased to assist in the search for the missing financial data. This pundit went on to quip that the telescope has a magnification of 47.50X. That is appropriate indeed.
The Martin Chronicles is covering a rapidly developing story about Villa Hills' malignant Mayor Mike Martin. Here is what we are fairly certain of so far.
It appears that The Nitwit From Norwood is very upset about social network messages expressing support for the Villa Hills Police Department. Makes sense for a mayor of a City to be upset about support for his police department, right? No. Huh? Well, at least it probably makes sense to Eddie, Donna and the ass clowns from the civic club.
So anyway, Shorty has decided to take his anger out on Ken's Towing in Crescent Springs. Why? Why not? It's The Unlicensed Liar after all. What has The Little Fella done? We are told that Martin has ordered his police department to stop using Ken's Towing. This despite a good relationship that goes back decades.
Yes, the hillbillies are getting EXACTLY what they voted for. The rest of us have to wait 658 days until Martin stands for re-election. There is a whole lot of work to do between now and then.
EDITOR'S NOTE: We know you already know this. But Councilman Mary Koenig is in this up to her chins as well. If Martin and Koenig are worried about where the "leaks" are coming from, they may want to look at their own computer company NKOL. It is an acronym for No Knowledge Off Limits.]
The Martin Chronicles can feel the anticipation building. The excitement is palpable. The fiddles and banjos are all tuned. The ass clowns from the civic club are ready to toast-and toast and toast and toast and toast and toast some more-the new era. No more bullying. No more blaming. No more infighting. No more bickering. The City is about to begin moving forward (?) once again.
What's causing this excessive ebullience? Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin finally has a city council who will work with him. Now we'll see just what The Nitwit From Norwood is truly capable of.
Sure. We could worry about Shorty's previous track record. But why? All those things were everybody else's fault. The-to be very kind-serial "screw-ups" that led to Shorty's 2007 forgery arrest? Forgery schmorgery! The reprimand from the Ethics Board? Who cares? The seven convictions on charges of misconduct and neglect of duty? So what? His unlicensed business? What's the big deal? Hey, we had a parade! And a skirt game!
This new city council should have learned something from what happened over the past two years. They need to acquiesce to the wishes of the The Fidgety Forger. Resistance is futile.
- When Martin appoints a new city attorney, approve his appointment without debate.
- When Martin brings you a contract for farmed-out police protection, authorize him to sign it immediately.
- When Martin brings you a contract for bilious Kenton Kounty Boss Steve Arlinghaus' emergency dispatch services, authorize him to sign that too.
- If Martin decides you don't really need to see much or anything in the way of financial data, just smile and say "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
- If the thought ever crosses your mind why the taxpayers continue to pay $47.50-per-hour-crony-hire-clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber despite the fact that she resigned in November, 2011, keep it to yourself.
- If you think Martin is lying to you-you're right-but always, always, always let it go.
- When Martin tells you that everything that has gone wrong is somebody else's fault, believe him! Or, at least keep your mouth shut about it..
Listen, it's just not worth it. You've been had. Open your mouth and The Little CEO will send every hayseed, gun nut, hick, rube and ridge runner he can muster to the podium to harangue you with stupid questions. Who needs that? Do you really want to see gigantic homemade signs accusing you of "bullying" or "blaming" The Norwood Sewer Rat? Of course you don't. You can do the next two years standing on your head if you have to.
Maybe you didn't know what you were getting in to then. But we suspect you're starting to figure it out now. You're going to get your first public dose tomorrow night.
The Martin Chronicles' informants tell us that Villa Hills' malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has secured at least a half dozen bids from applicants hoping to serve as Shorty's new City Attorney. Given the amount of money that can be made as City Attorney for the mendacious Martin, we are surprised that there aren't several more. Thar's gold in them there Villa Hills!
Observers believe that former Councilman Jim Noll is Martin's first choice. That would certainly make sense. He has ZERO BACKGROUND in municipal law.
For the record, we strongly advise the new City Council to quickly approve whomever The Nitwit From Norwood appoints. Why fight it? You'll just end up getting rolled anyway. And who wants to listen to Shorty's hillbilly lynchmob toss around accusations of "bullying" and "blaming"?
The Martin Chronicles is busy trying to confirm the details of a fast-breaking story about THE FIRST NON-SECRET COUNCIL MEETING OF THE YEAR scheduled for this Wednesday night. Sources believe Councilman Brian R. Wischer plans to propose that all City meetings begin at 4:20 from now on. Snitches also think the proposal will include multiple, pre-arranged times for snack breaks during the meeting.
Our informants are working to confirm that someone isn't just blowing smoke. We'll keep you up-to-date on all of the unfolding details.
The Martin Chronicles reminds you of that recent piece of drivel published in the Community Recorder. You remember. Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin chimed in with his hopes for his tiny town for 2013.
Maybe The Fidgety Forger is hoping to come to grips with Villa Hills' skyrocketing crime wave. Nope. Is The Nitwit From Norwood hoping for a revitalized street repair program? No again. Perhaps Shorty is hoping to reduce his exploding legal fees that have needlessly wasted tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars? Uh-uh. Maybe The Unlicensed Contractor hopes to finally start producing credible financial reports for the council and taxpayers to review? You're not even warm.
So what is it? Well, The Ayatollah of Phony Holy Rollahs is looking for better publicity. Yep, that's right. Shorty is hoping to paper over the absolute mess he's made over the past two years in hopes of fooling the voters yet again in just 659 days.
Martin may have just struck pay dirt in the last election. It is starting to look like new Councilwoman HBM-I is going to provide all kinds of great publicity for Shorty's Reign of Error.
A lot of folks are starting to privately-and mockingly-refer to HBM-I as Villa Hills' "Holly Boo-Boo". You already know how she inadvertently went to the civic club instead of the City Building last week. Witnesses say that by the time she realized the meeting was being held in a different location it was too many beers too late.
We have now learned that "Holly Boo-Boo" made her singing debut at the civic club last Friday night. No, the band wasn't prepared for it. But HBM-I insisted. The reviews were-too be very kind-mixed.
As one of the civic club's resident critics put it, "We've all heard that beer has taught people how to dance for years. I guess we now know it teaches them how to sing too". One drunk raised his head from the bar and yelled, "Would you tell those guys to quit steppin' on that cat's tail. The screechin' is killin' me".
Finally. Martin is surrounded by council people he can really work with. Provided they show up to the meetings.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The first NON-SECRET MEETING of Villa Hills' new council is scheduled for this Wednesday. We are preparing our in-depth preview, report and analysis right now.]
The Martin Chronicles is still bothered by Villa Hills' moronic Mayor Mike Martin's pinheaded proposal for solving his crappy city's skyrocketing crime rate. For those of you who may have missed it, The Fidgety Forger is strongly urging every resident to arm themselves in a major way. His loony logic? The Goofy Gun Nut figures no criminal would dare break in to a home where lots of firearms are present. Or, perhaps the home invader will simply pack a larger number of higher caliber weapons. He he he he he.
Yes, we admit it. Shorty is not the first gun nut to make such a reckless proposal. In point of fact, there was actually a council member in another Northern Kentucky town that proposed an ordinance mandating gun ownership back in the 1990s. This type of simplistic scheme is certainly nothing new.
Setting aside the obvious fact that Mike Martin is a fool, there are some serious reasons to worry about a City leader who would make such a mindless suggestion.
Villa Hills and every city needs less potential for crime and violence, not more. Has Martin given any thought to hiring an eighth officer for the city's spread-way-too-thin police department? Almost every credible study ever conducted clearly shows that a visible police force is the best deterrent to crime. But no, Shorty hasn't given it any more thought. How do we know this? He recently said so.
There are a fair number of responsible gun owners who exercise good judgment at all times. You cannot, however, say that about every one of the roughly 8,000 citizens of Villa Hills. Given the fact that Martin himself issued a thinly-veiled threat of gun violence towards a former Villa Hills councilmember just days before the 2010 election is a strong clue that Shorty himself is not one of those responsible gun owners.
Then you have swirling hillbilly Martinites coming to the podium at council meetings to issue warnings that others are always carrying two loaded pistols. And one of the pistol-packing people identified from the podium was sitting in the audience! Sure Shorty! Give everybody a gun. What the heck? Give everybody two guns.
Guns everywhere? Really Shorty? You do realize that you have two schools in your little burg, right? And another school just a stone's throw outside your city limits? And you understand that there are more entrances and exits to your little suburb than you have police officers? You're clear on that, right?
For full disclosure, The Martin Chronicles fully supports the Constitutional right to responsibly keep and bear arms. What we oppose are chowder-headed City officials who make flippant, wing-nut proposals like Martin did simply because they aren't smart enough to come up with a real solution to their serious crime problem.
It would be funny if it wasn't so frightening.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles is hot on the trail of several breaking stories. So much for "Peace In Our Time". It is The Pernicious Pinhead, after all.]
The Martin Chronicles has had several sources confirm that barfly Villa Hills' Councilwoman HBM-I has been very open about the SECRET MEETING she, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin and others had with bilious blowhard Kenton Kounty Boss Steve Arlinghaus. HBM-I has said on multiple occasions that the meeting was convened to discuss "the merger of Villa Hills' services with Kenton Kounty". Kenton Kounty Kourthouse snitches tell us that the power-mad, VILLA HILLS' $40 PER CAR UNFAIR STICKER TAX-DODGING Arlinghaus "is ready to sign-off on the merger yesterday".
Sources also confirm that HBM-I even blurted this news out in a group with Martin in attendance. Witnesses say that The Norwood Nitwit looked "stricken" when he realized that his plot had been revealed. We wonder why?
A whole lot of things are starting to make a great deal of sense in a big old hurry. A large chunk of time was spent at the January 2 Villa Hills SECRET MEETING discussing ways that PUBLIC information could be kept PRIVATE. Councilmembers Koenig, Wischer, HBM-I and even The Fidgety Forger himself peppered the City Attorney with questions about quorums, e-mails, open records and open meetings.
Witnesses are convinced that these questions weren't being asked to ensure compliance. None of these "Sunshine Laws" have mattered to the underhanded Martin during his first twenty-four dreadful months in office and nothing has changed.
The Martin Chronicles is told that the City Attorney advised the questioners that, with three statutorily-outlined exceptions, ALL information and communications are PUBLIC. One well-placed observer is certain that "the City Attorney's warnings fell on stone-deaf ears".
Villa Hills and its knuckle-dragging voting public are turning out to be a whole lot like a Jeff Foxworthy routine. How so? "You may be a stupid hillbilly if you really believed the malfeasant Martin and his loud-mouthed wife Janet when they said all Shorty needed was a new council". Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
We also thought you might enjoy this photograph taken at the kick-off meeting of The Martin for Mayor in 2014 re-election committee. Happy Days Are Here Again!
YOU OWE BOB WINTERS $7,000!!!!!
The Martin Chronicles is certain you are already well aware that we consider Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin one of the most corrupt and incompetent political figures in Kentucky's long and storied history of corrupt and incompetent political figures. Shorty has turned misconduct, neglect of duty, general dishonesty and shoddy-at-best behavior into a very high art form. Yes, we know. Even that is a gross understatement.
Even though we are fully aware that The Fidgety Forger is thoroughly dissolute, there are still things Shorty does that deeply offend us. Do you want an example? Here is one. Wasting taxpayer money on all kinds of outside legal advice instead of relying on his City Attorney-who is already being paid-or the generally free legal department of The Kentucky League of Cities.
Want an example? The Nitwit From Norwood recently hired Park Hills City Attorney Bob Winters to assist in the rhubarb railroading of a who-in-this-story-will-remain-unnamed City administrative employee. Shorty sent Winters to the City's Civil Service Board to make the taxpayer-funded case for what The Unlicensed Handyman wanted. To use Winters' own words, Shorty wanted "TERMINATION".
After some deliberation, the Civil Service Board handed down an unpaid suspension. Not "TERMINATION". Why? Because-not surprisingly-Shorty was more than a little fast and loose with the facts of the case.
Speaking of fast and loose with the facts, The Little Liar later told some media pinheads that "the Civil Service Board agreed with me". This despite THE FACT that the Civil Service Board DID NOT AGREE with The Itinerant Handyman. How do we know that? Because Shorty didn't get the "TERMINATION" of the who-in-this-story-will-remain-unnamed City administrative employee Winters said he wanted.
We also know that Martin shared confidential information about the who-in-this-story-will-remain-unnamed City administrative employee with some especially stupid members of Shorty's hillbilly lynchmob. How do we know that? Because these especially stupid members of Martin's hillbilly lynchmob actually posted this confidential employee information on Facebook. Yeehah!
So now we know that YOU owe Bob Winters SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS for Martin's malfeasant misadventure. Even the ass clowns from that rat's nest of a civic club can figure out that you can buy a whole lot of Old Milwaukee's Best Light with SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
But that's not the end of it. We wonder if all of the gun-slingers, nose-pickers and vine-swingers would care if they also knew about more Norwood Nitwittery. We doubt it. They may need their toilet unclogged some day after all.
It seems Shorty has added FIVE THOUSAND OF YOUR DOLLARS TO HIS EVIDENTLY SECRET BUDGET. Why? For MORE WASTED LEGAL FEES to fund an attempt to overturn State guidelines for Civil Service protections for current employees.
For the record, the ancient crocodile Councilman Mary Koenig has expressed her support for this waste of YOUR money as well. Big surprise. Why not? It's just one specialty pizza and a pitcher of beer a month. Okay, maybe one specialty pizza and pitcher of beer a week? Alright, maybe two specialty pizzas and two pitchers of beer a week? Three?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We think it is important to mention that vile Councilman Mary Koenig also announced that Martin needs to fire inert Interim City Clerk Sue Bree at the January 7 "SPECIAL MEETING". We can't believe we are writing this. But we agree with the ancient crocodile Koenig on that!]
The Martin Chronicles has been doing extensive investigation into ancient crocodile Villa Hills' Councilman Mary Koenig's background and track record. We have uncovered all manner of disgusting things about the odious Koenig. Even still, we are shocked by how quickly the hag leaped out of her bag. Heck, it's less than two weeks in to the new council term.
As you should remember, we reported that malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin and (most of) his newly-minted council held yet another "SPECIAL MEETING" last night. The meeting's primary topic? Helping Shorty finally get rid of that rascally Civil Service Ordinance and Board that he claims has made it just too darn hard for him to do the job the people elected him to do. Uh-huh.
While it should come as no surprise to anybody in Villa Hills who has even a vague clue-which means about 100 people or so-Koenig finally identified "the moose on the table" that everyone else has been careful to avoid.
Alright already! What is it? Well, Koenig explained why council must vote to eliminate the Civil Service Ordinance and Board. Okay? What is it? What did she say?
"The Mayor needs to be able to FIRE the Police Chief."
There it is. Shocking, huh? It's not like the vile Koenig has ever orchestrated the firing of a Police Chief before. Wait a minute. She sure has. Very few of Villa Hills' noveauhillbillies remember-or care-about what the emetic Koenig did to then-Police Chief Corky Brown.
But if Koenig is successful in taking the City down this road again, we hope this time all of the ridgerunners, hayseeds, bumpkins, gun nuts, Liberty Leaguers and all of the ass clowns from that rat's nest of a civic club get a swift kick in their financial crotch this time. They have certainly earned it.
Earlier in this post we wrote that (most of) Martin's newly-minted council attended last night's "SPECIAL MEETING". So who was missing? While we don't know what they meant by it, one source speculated that perhaps Brian R. Wischer may have "scored a dime"???
Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour also failed to attend last night's meeting. Oddly, we have learned that the hyphenated councilwoman was seen tossing them back at the civic club bar while the meeting was underway. Couldn't she have made it the less-than-hundred yards further to the council chambers? Others say HBM-I was upset that she couldn't watch the meeting on the government channel. She evidently forgot that "SECRET, er, uh SPECIAL MEETINGS" aren't typically televised.
As one pundit wryly observed, "One drunken councilwoman was getting in the bag. One vile, mean-spirited councilwoman was coming out of the bag". Wischer and HBM-I didn't need to be there anyway. Koenig has already instructed them how to vote.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We hope Eddie and Donna are still convinced that getting Sister Sharon's toilet unclogged is worth the price of Police Chief Dan Goodenough's career.]
[UPDATED PUBLISHER'S NOTE: As predicted, the mendacious Martin failed to deliver on even one single thing he promised to get that the council had requested at the January 2 "SECRET er, uh SPECIAL MEETING". How stupid must the majority of voters in Villa Hills be not to realize that MARTIN IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL OF THE PROBLEMS? We certainly hope these hillbillies continue to get exactly what they voted for.]
The Martin Chronicles just loves Villa Hills' malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin vapid comments in a recent piece of drivel published in The Community Recorder. What did Shorty say? He says he is looking forward to "good publicity" for his little town in 2013.
"Good publicity"? That does beg an obvious question. Does The Little CEO have even a remote clue that virtually all of the "bad publicity" his suburb has received over the past two-plus years is a direct result of his misconduct, neglect of duty and incompetence?
Of course he doesn't.
The Martin Chronicles is going to give healthy benefits-of-the-doubt to Jim Cahill, Rod Baehner, Amy Balson, Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour and Brian Wischer. We aren't sure we should. But we will. We will attribute the flurry of special meetings to an earnest desire to deal with what they perceive to be important matters in a timely fashion.
For those people who don't know-and that is probably almost everyone who lives in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills-Shorty and his newly minted council are convening yet another special meeting tonight. Again, we are going to more or less give five of the six council newbies a "pass". But we are also going to offer some unsolicited advice. Do with it what you will. It maters not to us.
What is our advice? Do everything you can to shine as much "light of day" as possible on every single piece of City business you tackle. Conduct as much business as you possibly can at your regular monthly meeting in front of the TBNK cameras. Not for "face time" or "grandstanding". Do it because you want to be as open and transparent as you possibly can.
Look, we get it. You could personally phone every home in your crappy City and provide a thirty minute, detailed update on what council is currently facing. Even still, many people would frustratingly moan that "the City never let's us know what's going on". [TRANSLATION: We are too lazy to put any effort in to staying informed. But we won't accept any responsibility for our lack of action. Much like our mediocre mayor, we will blame everyone else for our failure.]
Here is what people already know, and it's only January 7:
- They know that Martin, Koenig, Menninger-Isenhour and Wischer have already held multiple meetings to discuss The Almighty Spirit knows what. And some people are concerned.
- They know that Councilman Mary Koenig has a track record of sending pawns in to the City building at 2AM to "collect" documents the morning after City Council voted to investigate her hand-picked choice for mayor. And some people are concerned.
- They know that Martin, Crescent Springs Mayor Jim Collett, bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus and others have met at least once at the Crescent Springs City Building to discuss consolidation of City services with Kenton Kounty. And some people are concerned.
- They know that Martin has been going around the City Attorney to seek legal advice from several other attorneys-at the taxpayer's expense-and again, only The Almighty Spirit knows why. And some people are concerned.
- They know that you held a very poorly publicized "SPECIAL MEETING" on January 2. Not surprisingly, the meeting notice was given typical, shoddy-at-best mishandling by Shorty. And some people are concerned.
- They are just now beginning to learn that there is yet another "SPECIAL MEETING" tonight. It may very well be for the best possible of reasons. And yet, some people are concerned.
You know what happens to everyone who has had to deal with the miscreant Martin. You will soon learn what happens to everyone who has had to deal with the vile Councilman Koenig. After twelve years in exile in her miserable swamp, Koenig is B-A-C-K. And that ancient crocodile still has several scores to settle.
We'll tell you one last time. You have one chance. It's called the light of day.
The Martin Chronicles is so proud of its web of informants and snitches. We hear so much great stuff about Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin and his brainless band of ne'er-do-wells that we could post 24/7. But it's more fun to build the suspense.
Did you know that Shorty told his newly-minted council that he still hasn't gotten even a minute of Open Records and Records Retention training for his rag-tag administrative staff. This despite the fact that The Little CEO promised to do so many, many, many, many months ago.
His reason? Well, the mendacious Martin says that there is already a court order prohibiting any further destruction of anything. Listen, you can't make this stuff up. Has Shorty already forgotten that his inert Interim City Clerk Sue Bree was caught shredding her old Atkin's Diet recipes after that court order was issued?
Could The Norwood Sewer Rat at least ask SCARY MARY HARDMAN to let the other clerks read that book that SCARY MARY HARDMAN testified under oath told her it was perfectly fine to illegally torch City records?
Speaking of the mediocre Martin's abject inability to perform even the simplest follow-up. A word of warning to the new council. Shorty promised he would provide you with all sorts of information you requested of him at Wednesday's SECRET MEETING. Just so you know, there are people still waiting for things Martin promised to provide them in 2007. No kidding. 2007.
Be careful though. If you continue to ask for those things you need to perform your council duties you will do so at your own risk. Why? Because Martin and his loud-mouthed wife Janet will rally the hillbilly lynchmob to storm to the podium at council meetings to accuse you of "bullying" and "blame-laying". You will also be informed that Shorty left church early on Christmas to unclog Sister Sharon's toilet. How dare you! Don't think it will happen? Just keep asking.
Three months since anyone has seen financials? You haven't even seen copies of the checks that have been cut? Gee, I wonder what's going-or not going-on? Again, press ahead with that reasonable request to review the City financials and see what happens. Do you know anybody else who would leave church early on Christmas to unclog your sister's toilet? Well, do ya punk?
While we are on the subject of gentle warnings to the new council. Don't fall for it. Don't be seduced by the fact that it appeared that reanimated Councilman Mary Koenig actually behaved reasonably at Wednesday's SECRET MEETING. You trust the vile Koenig even a scintilla at your own grave peril.
Our beloved publisher sees it shaping up this way. Some of the new council are like those thirsty African Water Buffalo eying that refreshing water before them. You know. The residents sent them there to make nice and return normalcy. Take a drink. Everyone is just sooooo thirsty.
What these newbies don't see is that ancient, wrinkled, starving crocodile lurking just below the surface of the water. She has been there for a dozen years now. Waiting. Waiting for her chance to settle some old scores. To finish the work she was unable to complete back in 2000.
But the voters have foolishly given her an opening. They have given her an opportunity she has been desperately searching for for twelve long years. Go ahead newbies. Take that cool, refreshing drink of water.
But don't say you weren't warned when the crocodile Koenig leaps up to sink her hateful jaws into your snout. Then it will be far too late. She may kill you quickly. Or, she may take her time and relish in your misfortune. But kill you she will.
The Martin Chronicles wants to clarify something. Namely, we accept the fact that the majority of Villa Hills' voters agree with the mindset of people like miscreant Mayor Mike Martin, mean-spirited Councilman Mary Koenig and the maniacal Mike Pope. It's not everyone. But the last two election cycles have clearly demonstrated that Villa Hills is not-and never will again be-what it once was. You take it from there.
Having written that, we will describe what took place in the council chambers last night using the vernacular made famous by the temporarily-on-hiatus-fruitcake Mike Pope. Shorty and his newly-minted council held a SECRET MEETING last night. Why secret? Because it wasn't televised. Was it illegal? Well, let's just say that the meeting notice the mediocre mayor posted on New Year's Day was damned flimsy.
We have also secured a copy of the agenda The Norwood Sewer Rat offered up. It is a patch work of non-sensical nitwittery that had the coherence of something written by The Zodiac Killer. Which makes far more sense than The Little Man From Norwood's agenda does.
For those of you who are wondering what took place in the SECRET MEETING, we will certainly fill you in over the next several posts. A couple of things.
All of you 9/12ers and Liberty Leaguer pinheads should know that Shorty has dropped all pretense about keeping his promise to get rid of the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. He has finally realized that most of you are far too stupid to realize that you have been screwed.
It appears the rumors about the missionless drifter Jim Noll being Shorty's top choice for Villa Hills' new City Attorney have some merit. More on that soon.
As we predicted, the re-animated, pasty battle-axe Councilman Mary Koenig is going to quickly become the miscreant mayor's worst nightmare. And do we love that!
By the way, all of you hand-wringers and bed-wetters who are just now sending out ridiculous e-mails alerting people to what is starting to happen to "your (crappy) city"-way too little and way, way, way too late. Your efforts are roughly the equivalent of calling the fire department two months after your house has burned to the ground.
One last item for now. This is for Councilman Mary Koenig. Mary, Mary, Mary. Oh, Mary. There is no one leak. Everybody you and all your colleagues talk to talk to other people who often talk to us. So the next time you and Shorty plan to keep secrets-TRY A WHOLE LOT HARDER. The Martin Chronicles is everywhere. And we have our eyes and ears on you.
