The Martin Chronicles suspects that malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's removal hearing will actually begin tonight. We are told that Martin will be the first witness. The staff has an over/under going on what percentage of the questions Martin will answer truthfully. Our regular readers will know that our staff doesn't expect much in the way of anything resembling the truth from Martin tonight. Or ever.
Just for fun we thought we'd ask some questions of our own.
For Mike Martin: You were quoted in the media this morning saying that "there are two sides to every story". So then why have you waited so long to tell your story? How do you justify the tens of thousands of dollars you have wasted by your year-long stone-walling and delay?
For Janet Martin: You have become infamous for pushing all kinds of wacky conspiracy theories and filing false police reports. Does your husband fill your head with all of his paranoid nonsense or do you come up with the mean-spirited nuttiness all on your own? In short, are you another victim of your husband's endless lies or just another dishonest perpetrator?
For Cordelia Schaber: You have continued to collect $47.50 per hour of taxpayer money for almost a year since you say you resigned as Martin's crony-hire clerk/bookkeeper. Do you really believe you are that hard to replace or is this just another taxpayer-funded Martin rip-off?
For council candidate Jim Cahill: Our sources tell us that you called others to warn about and apologize for your name being included in a "We support Martin's malfeasance so vote for us" flyer that was circulated this past weekend. Why didn't you just tell the organizers of the "We support Martin's malfeasance so vote for us" flyer not to use your name. Do you support Martin's malfeasance? Or, are you just too gutless to take a stand?
For Commonwealth Attorney Rob Sanders: Our court house snitches tell us that you are running like a scalded cat from the legal problems of two Kenton County mayors. We read your silly, chest-beating "I'm a tough-guy lawman" e-mail every week and it begs an obvious question. Why don't you pursue elected officials with the same vigor as you smack around helpless eighteen year-old African-American crack addicts?
For Martin's attorney Toad McMurtry: Oddly, we run in some of the same circles as you do Toad. We know that you have privately expressed concern about the person you will be defending tonight. So, how does it feel to be a high-priced whore?
For council candidate Dale Schaber: For those who don't know, you are Martin's co-defendant in a SLANDER, LIBEL and DEFAMATION lawsuit because you foolishly accused a City employee of theft in writing. Is there any truth to the rumor that you are running for council in hopes that the taxpayers will have to pick up the tab for the cost of your high-priced attorney Steve Wolnitzek?
For council candidate Mary Koening: We watched you toss rancid red meat to the hillbillies at the rig-job Civic Club candidate forum last week. You do realize that a city council-even one overflowing with members of Martin's hillbilly lynchmob-has no authority to pass an ordinance that is in direct violation of Kentucky Revised Statutes, don't you?
For outgoing (Thank the Great Spirit) councilmembers Mike Pope and Jim Noll: Mike Martin, Mary Koening and others have been quite forceful about what they claim is a fact that there are not six votes to remove Shorty. One can safely assume they are referring to you. What secret deals have you made with Martin in exchange for your "no" vote to removal no-matter-the-evidence?
Yes, we know. These ne'er-do-wells and gutless pinheads will never answer the preceding questions. But we just had to ask them.
