Consider what we just learned from the removal hearing:
- According to Martin, Interim City Clerk Sue Bree is evidently completely incapable of learning even the simplest task. Despite Martin's FIFTY-SEVEN attempts to direct Bree to follow Kentucky's Open Records statutes, she just can't figure it out.
- According to Martin, Interim City Clerk Sue Bree also has a serious problem with reading comprehension. While Martin was certain even a sea monkey could understand City Attorney Mike Duncan's May memo forbidding any further document destruction, Bree evidently did not. How do we know that? Because Bree ignored Duncan's memo and Judge Summe's April 26 order and well, uh, er, she shredded more documents in late July. So Bree got those two pay raises this year because . . .?
- According to Martin, MARY HARDMAN is the most detail-oriented person in the history of Western civilization. There was no better person than MARY HARDMAN to assign to the complicated task of destroying City records. She read a book about it, after all. And yet, something went wrong.
- According to Martin, the only way that documents that shouldn't have been destroyed could have been recovered from MARY HARDMAN'S January 5 records barbecue is if the police department planted them there.
- According to Martin, the only reason well over a hundred thousand dollars of taxpayer money was squandered in police overtime is because Chief Goodenough lied to him some time during the first month of his administration.
- According to Martin, Clerk Kim Robbins is a nothing more than a dishonest, ticking time bomb of seething anger who "has it out" for him.
- According to Martin, the only reason that he has been unable to deal with these obviously serious personnel problems FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS is because of that pesky City Council and the Civil Service Commission.
So if Martin didn't deal with any of these incredible problems over the past two years, what did he do? We have secured copies of a few recent emails that provide some insight into the malfeasant Martin's priorities.
On what burning problem is Martin fixated? Shorty is trying to reduce the amount of money the police department is spending on car washes. Yes, you read that exactly right. Car washes. According to the Little Man From Norwood, there is a "car wash crisis" in Villa Hills. What was the total amount of money spent on car washes in the month of September? A shocking $80.
Let's put that $80 in perspective. The Villa Hills Police Department had 170 hours of overtime during the last two-week pay period. Why? Well, one officer was on vacation for a week. So, let's be fair and take 40 hours out of that total. That leaves us with 130 overtime hours.
Please also remember that the police department is short two officers. One new officer has been hired. He is currently in training. It will still be some time before he is ready to patrol alone. Let's bend over backwards to be fair to Shorty. Even though the new officer is already getting paid, let's back out another full 80 hours from the overtime total. Even with that way-too-generous deduction, we are still left with 50 hours of overtime for a two-week pay period.
Again, lets be generous to the Little CEO. Let's say these 50 hours of overtime equate to $1,000. Remember that this is only two weeks of overtime. To make it an "apples to apples" comparison with the full month of car washes, we have to double that number to $2,000. Are you with us so far?
Now here is where it probably gets too complex for-to use high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's unfortunate description-the baboons at the Civic Club to comprehend. But we are going to sally forth anyway.
Which costs the taxpayers more? We know. The boys of Dead Pecker's Row are convinced this is a trick question.
a. $2,000 = $80
b. $2,000 < $80
c. $2,000 > $80
d. none of the above
Go ahead. Be brave. You can do this. DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! We have a winner. That's right. The answer is "c"!!! $2,000 dollars in overtime is indeed more than $80 of car washes!!!!
Tell 'em what they win Jay!!!
"The residents of Villa Hills get a very expensive, two-year extension for their trip through the mayhem and madness that is malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's "Reign of Error".
You will also get one hour of unlicensed electrical work performed by Mike Martin Electric at your home. You need to know that Martin is going to only charge you $55. But, if law enforcement officials ask, we uh, er, ummm, well, we need you to tell them that Martin didn't charge you anything. Hey, don't worry. Lots of people have done that!
Wow. Is that right? You don't say? Seriously? No foolin'? Martin is more worried more about car washes than overtime? You're kidding, right?
The Martin Chronicles has a suggestion for how to solve this car wash crisis. Put MARY HARDMAN in charge of it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sources say that Martin has already secretly promised council candidate Brian Wischer the chairmanship of the Car Wash Oversight Subcommittee of the City Administration Committee. A plum appointment indeed.]
