There is a general principle in the "PR" world that goes something like this. "People rarely attend events they know nothing about". Most marketing people will tell you that putting out a few shoddy-at-best, chicken-scratch signs announcing an event won't draw much of a crowd. Ask anyone whose has sat alone in a lawn chair during four dismal hours of a yard sale just how well that stupid strategy works.
And yet, that is precisely how the mallet-headed Martin "promoted" the "Safety Night" event. That probably explains why less than ten people made their way to Martin's pathetic party Wednesday night.
Oh, it gets worse. Most likely hoping for a truly tasteless campaign opportunity, the malevolent Martin manned the grill, charring hot dogs beyond recognition. As one wag put it, "Martin sure knows how to illegally burn city documents, but he ain't worth a damn with a fine piece of meat". Another pundit said, "The little bastard can cook the city's books, but he doesn't know jack $#!t about cooking a wiener".
Considering the dismal fact that barely ten people attended "Safety Night", there are several boxes of excess wieners that went un-incinerated. Perhaps Martin will ask city council to vote to declare the excess wieners "surplus" so he can then purchase them for a dollar and incinerate them at his next clumsy campaign event.
The Martin Chronicles sincerely hopes that Martin's new police chief isn't too upset by the public's underwhelming enthusiasm for Martin's two abjectly-failed attempts to pull off a "Meet the New Police Chief" function. It's not the new police chief's fault that his boss is dumber than a brick. Good luck, you poor bastard.
There is something far more sinister that happened here, though. The mean-spirited Martin chose River Ridge Elementary School for this failed event for a very malicious reason.
You see, Martin knows that disgracefully-railroaded, former Police Chief Dan Goodenough poured his heart and soul in to helping the underprivileged children who attend River Ridge. Martin was desperately hoping for a spectacular, "in-your-face" event that would have served as a metaphor for "spitting on the grave" of the former police chief's Villa Hills career. The little liar will forevermore blame Goodenough and everybody but himself for his 2007 FORGERY ARREST. But-with eternal thanks to The Great Spirit-NO DICE.
You see, the malicious Martin is a passive-aggressive little prick. The miniature Mussolini is fine with the vapid fools who sing his praises, announcing that he does "great things for people". But if even one of those vapid fools dares to step out of line, Martin will have no remorse while calumniously cutting off their private parts with a rusty knife.
Let us sum it up for you. You can take the street-brawling redneck out of Norwood. But you can't take the Norwood out of the street-brawling redneck. Even when the street-brawling redneck LIES his way in to the mayor's office in Villa Hills.
Better luck next time, you mean-spirited, little sonuvabitch.
