The Martin Chronicles is closely watching as the filing deadline clock winds down. The field of candidates for mayor and council in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills will be more-or-less set at 4 o'clock tomorrow afternoon. We say "more-or-less" set because there is always the real possibility that others may decide to pull a "Mike Pope" and toss their hats in the ring after the filing deadline, running as write-in candidates.
Write-in candidates will have all the way until Friday, October 24 to file their paperwork. The Martin Chronicles truly hope it happens. Imagine if at least a small handful of procrastinating pols jump in at the tail end of what should already be a full-blown, backstabbing cage match. Villa Hills door bells would be ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing and ringing some more. Local office supply stores would make a fortune-one dime at a time-on high speed copies, sell out of colored paper and rubber bands. It would make for a hugely fun final ten days of the race.
We already know that long-time Villa Hills resident-with a very long history of successful, distinguished philanthropic endeavors-Ernie Brown and short-time resident-and former mayor of the Bob Due-disgraced Covington-Irvin Callery are running for to replace the meat-headed Martin in the mayor's office.
We also know that the mysterious Brian R. Wischer-was he the one arrested on drug charges in Kenton County or not?-and the mean-spirited, vile ancient crocodile-who does absolutely nothing but constantly spread hate and discontent-Mary Koenig are running for re-election to council. Beyond that, we don't know much else. We hope the voters have far better choices for city council-and that doesn't mean the disgusting husband of MARTIN CRONY-HIRE, FORTY-SEVEN AND A HALF DOLLARS PER TAXPAYER-FUNDED HOUR INCOMPETENT BOOKKEEPER CORDELIA SCHABER-Dale, who would only be running to protect his taxpayer-funded gravy train. It is a fact that Dale Schaber is a malicious meathead.
We also hope the mallet-headed Martin files for re-election. We want to have the great pleasure of knocking down each and every LIE the mendacious Martin will surely tell for out vast audience. Oh, what great fun it will be!
We also suspect that several potential Villa Hills candidates will head to the courthouse this coming Tuesday with their signed petitions and filing fees at the ready. Why? Because they plan to wait until the final minutes to see the actual size of the candidate field before filing their paperwork and parting with their money. When you think about that for more than ten seconds, that's a hell of a way to decide whether or not you want to run for the mayor's office or a seat on city council-to help a very troubled town.
Beginning Wednesday, August 13, we expect certain civic club directors to roll out their already-accidentally-announced smear campaign as well. Given these certain civic club "pots" checkered past, it will be highly entertaining to watch them falsely call any "kettles" black. Absolute jerk-offs.
We will also quickly learn where the "Don't Tread On Me" flag-waving liberty leaguers, cat-haters, St. Joker's Heavy Drinking Men's Society members and the "Jeeves, be a good man and pull the Bentley around" crowd fall in line this time. Most of these self-absorbed dimwits bought Martin's bull$#!t in 2010. Or, just thought it would be fun to elect Martin and then watch what happened. We aren't sure exactly what these pinheads will do in 2014.
We have also learned that an explosive packet of city checks, court papers, photos, deposition transcripts, legal bills, e-mails, Executive Orders, official correspondence and other damning documents has been printed and packaged for delivery to every single door in Villa Hills in the very late stages of the upcoming campaign. The purpose? To shine a very bright light on the true-and very ugly-extent of the malicious Martin's atrocious antics over the past four years.
What's next? An 83-day, mudslinging sprint to the finish line. The Martin Chronicles will be giving our vast audience-very soon to pass the quarter of a million visits threshold-a slime-by-slime report.
Tomorrow it will be Ready, Set, GO!
