LABOR DAY WEEKENDER: Campaign Kick-Off

The Martin Chronicles is really starting to feel it now. It's in the air. Sure, it's been awfully hot and humid of late. But the Labor Day weekend reminds us that the cooler winds and falling leaves of autumn are right around the corner. And so is the all-out war that's about to be waged by multiple camps for control of Villa Hills'-currently-hopelessly-bogged-down-in-incompetence-and-corruption-City Government.

For those of you who are sick and tired of incumbent, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's endless, wasteful and inexplicably stupid antics, we have a very strong warning. Do not-repeat-do not think that's Martin's certainly-deseved ouster is a foregone conclusion.

Why? Because the nasty nitwit Martin has already proven how he is able to feast on what radio colossus Rush Limbaugh refers to as "low-information voters":

• Martin was elected to the mayor's office by telling all manner of slanderous-and-never-even-attempted-to-be-proven-lies in 2010.
• Martin successfuly swept away the previous City Council by telling everyone the-now-we-know-masssive-lie that all he needed was "a City Council that would work with him" in 2012.
• Besides, we know that several civic club asshats have accidentally revealed that they plan to launch a false-and defamatory-campaign against their equally-corrupt buddy Martin's 2014 mayoral opponents. The grisly gargoyle General Zod has already begun that calumnious campaign.
• Then there is the addle-minded Councilwoman and mayoral candidate Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour who has been trolling the "low-information" voters slanderously alleging that the best mayoral candidate is a "drug addict who has assembled a team of people hell-bent on destroying Villa Hills". As absolutely crazy as that baseles claim sounds to reasonable people, some "low-information" voters may be persuaded.
• Several sources have also confirmed that vile, ancient Councilwoman Mary Koenig has already launched her battle-tested-and dishonest-"whispering campaign".
• But the evil "star of the show" remains the mendacious Martin. He has already taken his poor granddaughter to traverse the St. Joe's "End Of Summer" Church Festival spreading all manner of licentious lies about his mayoral opponents. That is only the very beginning.

Let's face it. The mismanaging Martin has no positive accomplishments around which he can build an issues-based re-election campaign. Martin is dumber than a cracked cinder block, but even he knows that the events of the past four, dreadful years do not-in-and-of-themselves-provide him a winning hand to play.

Martin used trite, inocuous campaign slogans in 2010. Don't you remember? "Mike Martin: A Fresh Start", "Mike Martin: Safety is my first priority", and the biggest, unnecessary whopper of all, "Mike Martin: Restoring Truth And Integrity To The Mayor's Office". In retrospect, that slogan came from someone who is totally detached from reality.

Just imagine these grim-reality based 2014 Martin campaign slogans:

• "Mike Martin: Ask not what your City Government can do for you, ask how much more of my personal legal fees you can pay to Turner, Sturgill, Baker & Moloney, PLLC." 
• "Mike Martin: Destroying your local police department continues to be my first priority."
• "Mike Martin: I was only convicted on seven of 9 counts of Official Misconduct and Neglect of Duty."
• "Mike Martin: A Fresh Start for another four terrible years of unnecessary spending on lawyers and legal actions."
• "Mike Martin: I just need one more complete set of six councilmembers to show you what I can really do."
• "Mike Martin: I deserved more than the $23,000 check I signed the PO for and all of my personal legal fees for all of the legal actions my reckless behavior I have triggered paid because I'm just so, so busy with my unlicensed handyman business."
• "Mike Martin: a Craigory in every garage and two Toads in every pot."
• "Mike Martin: I like tax hikes."
• "Mike Martin: Crony-hire, taxpayer-funded, incompetent, $47.50 per hour bucket-headed bookkeeper Cordelia is the one."
• "Mike Martin: it's my personal enrichment, stupid."
• "Mike Martin: Building a taxpayer-funded bridge to my relief from all of the personal legal exposure I've created."
• "Mike Martin: Yes, we can continue to ram new taxes down your unsuspecting throats."

We have a suggestion for the anti-Martin campaign slogan. We are borrowing it from one of the slogans Lyndon Johnson used against Barry Goldwater in the 1964 Presidential Campaign.

"In your guts, you know Martin is nuts."