Initially, most of the staff was getting behind the idea of doing an April Fool's Day "mea culpa", "admitting"-tongue-ensconced-in-cheek-that all this time we have been wrong about Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. But-in the final analysis-we just couldn't do it.
We just couldn't bring ourselves to write that "Martin isn't a bad guy". Because he's far worse than a "bad guy". Martin is a terrible guy who has duped the voters in the last two elections and unleashed his lawlessness on several, long-serving, truly-dedicated public servants.
What was Martin's malevolent motivation? The tiny tyrant desperately wanted to erase the fact that he was justifiably arrested for signing his deceased mother's name on his deceased mother's checks, cashed them and pocketed the proceeds. How do we know this? Well, four respected judges have definitively opined that what Martin did FIT THE VERY DEFINITION OF FORGERY.
We just couldn't bring ourselves to write that "Martin isn't really a LIAR". Why? Well, isn't that as obvious as the moustache on Martin's face? The diminutive dictator is a LIAR. We've written literally hundreds of posts proving that fact. Just keep in mind the most recent example. After Martin and his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry had already presented two terrible choices to former Police Chief Dan Goodenough to force the Chief out, Martin glibly LIED to the media-and Villa Hills-that Goodenough was "just taking a few days off".
We just couldn't bring ourselves to write that we finally agree with the stupid woman who took to a podium proclaiming that "this mayor does great things for people". Why? Because the miniature mullah has done TERRIBLE things to people. Ask all of the fine public servants Martin LIED about what they think. Ask all of the people Martin LIED to about repealing the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX what they think. Ask all of the current public servants who Martin has used the weight of his position to BULLY, THREATEN AND INTIMIDATE what they think. The list goes on.
We just couldn't bring ourselves to write that we finally need to let go of a past where Villa Hills was ranked "the best City in Northern Kentucky". There is the whole "moving the City forward" garbage that has recently surfaced on social media. What the hell? Are these nitwits saying that Martin has somehow "moved the City forward"? That is an April Fool's Day joke for the ages. Martin has ruined a once-justifiably proud City. Martin has dragged Villa Hills BACK TO THE SHODDY-AT-BEST DARK AGES with his non-stop LIES and DECEIT. Why? Only because he was correctly called on the carpet for signing his deceased mother's name on his deceased mother's checks, cashing them and pocketing the proceeds. GIVE EVERYONE A STINKING BREAK.
We also want to let our readers know that The Martin Chronicles will be passing the 210,000 VISITOR THRESHOLD some time tonight. That's no laughing matter either. We continue to be amazed by the reception we have received. We will do our very best to continue to cover all of the mayhem, mismanagement, misdirection, malevolence and malfeasance from now all the way through Martin's last, dreadful day in office.
If Villa Hills wants to "move their City forward", they need to throw Martin out on his LAWBREAKING ASS in 216 days, QED.
