Sunday Commentary: Happy April Fools' Day

The Martin Chronicles is now 175 days in to covering the embarrassing mess that some laughingly refer to as the administration of Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin. 25,000 unique visits are now fading in our rear view mirror. There have been numerous “highs” and “lows”. But, because we always bring you the truth, we have to admit that our entire staff has enjoyed every minute of it. Don’t worry; we don’t plan to stop now. Heck, it’s just starting to get interesting.

At the other bookend day of the month of April, Special Counsel Phil Taliaferro is scheduled to begin to lay out the case of massive corruption and incompetence that is Martin’s City government. Nothing that Mr. Talaiferro presents on April 30 will surprise us. Not even a little bit. After all, we have been digging into Martin’s dirt pile at least as hard as Special Counsel has. It is truly a disaster.

Let’s continue our examination of The Unahandyman’s three-page Manifesto that has been making its’ way around town for the last several days. This next entry is perfect for April Fools’ Day. “Despite what some of my colleagues on council have said, YOU ARE GETTING WHAT YOU VOTED FOR.” You don’t say? Is that right? Isn’t this rich?

Of course, it just very well may be true. That is assuming that what a bedazzled-by libel-slander-and-defamation Martin supporter voted for was:

·         A total budget disaster. It is so bad that Martin is now in a frenzy, frantically using the threat of massive lay-offs to blackmail a majority of council to approve his $125,000 budget amendment to cover just part of his mismanagement of the taxpayer’s money;

·         Embarrassing four-hour-plus long  council meetings that literally accomplish nothing save the continuing humiliation of what was once considered the Number One City in Northern Kentucky;

·         The bitter division of a Villa Hills’ public who continues to argue over who is at fault for what a few pinheads continue to lamely describe as “bickering” or “infighting”;

·         Martin’s vindictive decimation of the Villa Hills Police Department that has led to skyrocketing crime and an explosion of wasteful and unnecessary overtime expense;

·         Martin’s illegal destruction of City records and the document Martin falsified in a feeble attempt to cover his misdeeds;

·         The wanton destruction of City property and the many versions of the story designed to later cover-up the real reasons it took place;

·         “Confidential” reprimands of Mayor Martin and Councilman Jim Noll for their improper use of City personnel and resources;

·         The hiring of two Civic Club cronies, paying them a shocking combined rate of $62.50 per hour to deliver, well, absolutely nothing;

·         The awarding of City contracts to cronies without a bid, for items as innocuous as fire extinguishers;

·         The allegations of hacking in to Police Department computers, perhaps in a search for some “smoking gun” to assist Martin in his $1.505 MILLION lawsuit against the taxpayers of Villa Hills;

·         The improper interference in the Civic Club embezzlement lawsuit;

·         The interference in ongoing police investigations that prevented the fair collection of duly owed UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAXES;

·         Martin’s move to have THE UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX collected by Boss Arlinghaus’ County Court House, making selective enforcement a matter of Villa Hills’ law and leading to a huge shortfall in funds available to repair City streets.

·         The contrary-to-State-law official policy Martin has established to stonewall people who request City Open Records;

·         Skyrocketing legal bills generated because the City Attorney is put in the position of constantly trying to identify and cover up for the misdeeds of Mayor Martin;

·         An incredible waste of money generated by Martin’s order to have the City Engineer do a road study that looks at the City’s repair and replacement needs stretching out to the TWENTY-THIRD CENTURY;

·         The persistent libel, slander, defamation, blame-laying and finger-pointing designed to blame the previous administration, the majority on council, the employees, the residents and anyone else who seems to be a useful target to cover the persistent misdeeds of Mayor Martin;

·         Martin’s Nixon-like attack on his “enemies list”, targeting council members and other perceived “enemies” who just might cause problems for his Reign of Error;

·         Dangerous lawsuits triggered by Martin’s retaliatory mishandling of City employees;

·         Allegations of sexual harassment triggered by Martin’s retaliatory reaction to concerns brought to his attention;

·         The unusual after-hours removal of City equipment that was falsely described as being “in storage” from the City Building. Investigators are now exploring whether this action was taken in a ham-handed attempt to tamper with evidence;

These twenty-one despicable tidbits are just the tip of Martin’s tainted, corrupt, dishonest and incompetent “iceberg”.

For those Villa Hills residents who were foolish enough to want all of these things. Congratulations. “YOU ARE GETTING WHAT YOU VOTED FOR”. May we respectfully suggest that you write a letter-to-the-editor expressing your undying support for a continuation of these malfeasant actions?

For folks who want to attribute all of Martin’s missteps, malfeasance and misdeeds to some kind of “learning curve”’ The Martin Chronicles is saying unabashedly that you are doing nothing more than deluding yourselves. You should remember that Martin spent a dreadful, undistinguished-by-any-accomplishment two terms on city council between 2005 and 2008. If you believe that “he didn’t know that then but he knows that now’, you are the reason that the always-fallen-back-on-infamous “they” created April Fools’ Day.

For everyone else, Happy April Fools’ Day! Be sure to smile and take it in stride. The joke is on you. And the joke is Mike Martin.

Isn’t this fun?