It would be a colossal understatement to say that things are not going well at all for the little man from Norwood. He is worrying about losing “his wife’s (?) house” because of all the taxpayer money he has foolishly squandered. He is under investigation for misconduct in office. The investigation is rumored to have uncovered misdeeds far worse than that. A growing chorus of residents is also joining the majority on council to ask for the incompetent “CEO” to resign. Bad. Very bad.
How bad has it gotten? The Ayatollah of Phony Holy Rollahs has had to recruit his own perpetually-throwing-her-less-than two-cents-worth-in wife Janet to write a libelous letter-to-the-editor to support her husband’s corrupt, sinking ship-of-state. That is pathetic. Feeble. Nasty. Abhorrent. Inferior. Terrible. Low. Awful. Disgusting. Revulsive. Wanton. Contemptible. Grungy. Troubling. Wretched. Horrible. Detestable. Foul. Horrendous. Unconvincing. Gruesome. Monstrous. Disreputable. Immoral. Revolting. Dreadful. Shabby. Hateful. Inadequate. Abominable. Degenerate. Wicked. Outrageous. Upsetting. Sleazy. Depraved. Disturbing. Horrific. Repugnant. Mucky. Dirty. Atrocious. Shameful. Offensive. Distressing. Ghastly. Appalling. Worn-out. Dishonorable. Grisly. Shocking. Vile. Loathsome. Ignominious. Decadent. Repulsive. Despicable. Base. Worthless. In plain English, it is exactly the kind of action you would expect from two low-lifes like Mike and Janet Martin to take. His threat to lay off almost half the City employees to save his own pimply hide has really touched a nerve with many residents. Many now see the mendacious mayor for the phony he really is.
So please allow us to paint a picture for you. It is quite grim. Let us suppose that Councilman Mike Pope and Villa-Hills-made-a-nice-stepping-stone-State-Senate-candidate Councilman Jim Noll decide to turn a blind eye to all of the misconduct and corruption that Special Counsel Phil Taliaferro lays before the public beginning on April 30 and vote against removing the malfeasant mayor. An ebullient Mike Martin will surely hold a press conference to beat his chest. If you are not a fan of the NFL or Coors Light commercials this may not make as much sense to you. But here goes.
REPORTER: When do you plan to begin the employee lay-offs to prevent the loss of your wife’s (?) house?MARTIN: What’s that?!? Huh? LAYOFFS?!?!? You’re talkin’ about LAYOFFS?!?!? Are you kiddin’ me?!?!? I just hope I don’t end up in jail!!!
Alright. Enough fantasy. We’re getting back to work. Isn’t this fun?