So If They Aren't Mistakes . . .

The Martin Chronicles reporters are hearing from many, many Villa Hills residents who are floored by Martin's assertion to the media that he hasn't made any mistakes (as mayor). Several say that if he was willing to admit that he has indeed made mistakes it might be possible to cut him a little slack. Instead, residents interpret Martin's comments to be an admission of guilt.

Judging by the content (phrases like "moving the City forward" and lying about how much money the investigation has actually cost) of Martin's cheesy prepared statement Monday, we are convinced the "Little CEO" is receiving some supremely bad advice from a mean-spirited former councilwoman. This vindictive grimalkin's resume includes "advising" former Mayor Steve Clark right into a tree shredder. For that reason alone, we sincerely hope Martin continues to listen intently to her counsel.

• As we wrote when we first heard the "no mistakes" pronouncement, everyone must therefore conclude that Martin is fully aware that he is committing serious violations of State statute when he performs unlicensed electrical, plumbing and commercial handyman work throughout Northern Kentucky. As media outlets are reporting, contractors land in jail for these kinds of offenses. What else can a reasonable person think?
• Everyone will also have to surmise that Martin was well aware that he was committing what could lead to Class D felony charges when he decided to destroy City records in the midst of a serious lawsuit on January 5. What else can a reasonable person think?
• We should all also believe that Martin is fully cognizant of his violations of the Kentucky Open Records laws. For starters, he did manage to do a few the legal way. So he must be aware of how to properly fill an Open Records request. Besides, he hasn't made any mistakes. What else can a reasonable person think?
• We guess Martin is admitting that he has created a hostile work environment and condones the harassment of employees. He has made no mistakes after all. What else can a reasonable person think?
• Evidently, Martin is fully clear on the fact that he violated the City's Ethics Ordinance when he improperly utilized City personnel and resources to produce the "Pro Road Tax" flyer last fall. The Ethics Board slapped him with a reprimand after all. What else can a reasonable person think?
• Apparently Martin made the conscious decision to do illegal serial contracts with a computer company to circumvent City purchasing requirements. Remember, no mistakes. What else can a reasonable person think?
• We now know that Martin is fully aware that he is violating the City's Civil Service ordinance by employing his crony-hire, $47.50 per hour, uncontracted-contract clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber. Not a mistake. Martin says he hasn't made any. What else can a reasonable person think?
• There are many, many other issues. We will write about them all in future posts. And now we know they were all intentional acts.

People who want all of this to be swept under the rug and council to condone this conduct should grab for the smelling salts to clear their head. This is just starting to get interesting.

Bless The Beasts And The Clueless

The Martin Chronicles was fairly impressed with Wednesday's Kentucky Enquirer article "Villa Hills reacts to investigation of mayor". Cindy Schroeder did a solid job of laying out the very real issues facing one Mayor Mike Martin. We were not quite so impressed with a few of the "reactions".

First, County Boss Steve Arlinghaus. Old "Granite Counter-Top Head" is a ghastly joke. Never has one man offered so many opinions so totally devoid of fact. He should get back to the work of misusing County taxpayer money on some more unnecessary remodeling and just shut the (EXPLETIVE) up.

The comments by the sainted Villa Hills couple (whose names we will withhold) quoted by Schroeder are a different story. Those comments are both clueless, and worse yet, dangerous. How can anyone who looks at the facts say everyone just needs to gather around a bonfire, roast marshmallows and sing Kumbaya? C'mon, man! Instead of fretting about why everyone can't just get along, perhaps they may want to pay a little attention to what has been happening.

• Did they miss the part of the presentation that plainly laid out that Martin has been involved in a wide range of illegal activity?
• Do they know that Martin began lying to council even before the January, 2011 meeting when he assured them that he had never done any unlicensed electrical work?
• Where were they when Martin brushed aside council's concerns about his 2011 budget proposal and decimation of the Villa Hills Police Department with his pompous, "I'm the CEO. It's my decision. We're moving on. Get over it."?
• Are they aware that Martin filed a retaliatory Better Business Bureau complaint against the Voice of Villa Hills?
• What do they think of Mike and Janet Martin both filing false police reports to cause problems for people on their paranoid "enemies list"?
• Why do they think council should simply roll over and pass a six-figure budget amendment months before it is necessary?
• Don't these two-and others who think like them-realize that Martin wasn't the only one who won an election. Ringo, Bruns, Kilburn, Sogar, Noll and Pope won their election as well. The voters gave them the right to stand up for what they believe in too. That is what they are doing.

The couple quoted in Cindy Schroeder's article are the salt of the Earth. They are excellent people. But can they please explain why they believe council should simply ignore Martin's corruption, mismanagement and incompetence? Should they all just sit around the council table on the third Wednesday of every month singing We are the World?

How will that ultimately make their community better?

See The Sign Post Up Ahead

Yes, The Martin Chronicles says, "see the sign post up ahead!" No, it doesn't say The Twilight Zone. Although Villa Hills has certainly seemed like Rod Serling territory since the beginning of 2011. And it has only gotten stranger by the day.


So what does the sign say? It says "Mayor Martin Please Resign Now". These polite but direct signs are popping up all over the City of Villa Hills. Why? Because Special Counsel's Monday presentation of the initial findings of their investigation of Mayor Mike Martin blew a gaping hole in the side of Martin's specious Unahandyman Manifesto's claim that people "are getting what they voted for".

If you are still trying to decide exactly what has been happening, remember Martin's now-famous pronouncement. "I am the CEO. It's My Decision. We're moving on. Get over it." It is now time for him to take full ownership for the disaster he has created.

By the way, our reporters have learned that you can get a yard sign to display by emailing villahills50@gmail.com.

SUNDAY COMMENTARY: Why, Why, Why?!?

The Martin Chronicles knows that many people are remembered for things they said at a crossroads moment. When you hear the name Patrick Henry, you think of "Give me liberty, or give me death!" Harry Truman? "The buck stops here." Neil Armstrong? "That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind." Reds utility infielder Chico Ruiz? "Bench me or trade me." You get the picture.

Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin may well be remembered for things two other people said. At Thursday's evidentiary hearing regarding Martin's wanton destruction of City documents, the judge emphatically asked, "Why, why, why would anyone think destroying documents in the middle of a lawsuit is a good idea?!?" The Kentucky League of Cities attorney's response? "I don't have an answer, your honor."

We all may look back at Thursday's hearing as perhaps one of those "crossroads moments". This is the first time Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin has had to face a question about an action he took that he will have a tough time blaming on someone else. Not that he won't try.

While she did not go into the court room, there is a reason why Martin's crony-hire, $15 per hour endlessly-temporary City Clerk who handled money while not being bonded was in the building. She may not be all that bright. She may have the personality of a door knob. But she certainly doesn't need a weatherman to know which way the wind is blowing.

The fact that Martin did not include a tortuous explanation for his now-infamous January 5 "City records barbecue" in his recent Unahandyman Manifesto is telling. He can't blame that action on the previous administration. He can't hand what he did to a council that won't work with him. He can't point a finger at his former attorney in the mayor's $1.505 MILLION lawsuit against the taxpayers. He can't tell us that a bank teller advised him that it was okay to burn documents in the middle of a lawsuit that was entering the discovery phase. This is all on him. If the dog ate Martin's homework, it is only because he mixed his homework in with Rover's Alpo.

County Boss Steve Arlinghaus may not think contractors really need to get occupational licenses. Civic Club pinheads may think it doesn't matter that Martin was slapped with a "confidential reprimand" by the Villa Hills Ethics Board. The disgraced former chairman of that Ethics Board may be able to slough off the City's budget problems to "infighting". Embittered old tree-huggers may be able to fault Martin's opponent in the 2010 election for exercising his First Amendment rights as the reason for the "infighting". But even these yahoos can't offer up an excuse for Martin's document destruction that will not ring quite hollow.

Previously disengaged residents are beginning to wake up. They see the trouble that Martin is sending their way. They are coming to council meetings. Several even came to Thursday's hearing. The Martin Chronicles hopes a large number come to River Ridge on Monday evening. Despite the fact that Martin never saw fit to post the meeting on his "transparent" City website.

The judge rightfully pointed out that Martin's document destruction has HARMED the residents of the City he was elected to serve. The City's already-precarious position in a serious lawsuit was severely damaged by what will correctly be presented by the plaintiff's attorneys as a brazen attempt to tamper with evidence. Who will get the "invoice" for Martin's reckless actions? The taxpayers of Villa Hills will be stuck with it.

The Kentucky League of Cities attorney's answer was not entirely accurate. You see, there is an answer for why someone would burn City documents in the middle of a lawsuit. But that answer is not a good one.

Hype And Hyperbole In Villa Hills

The Martin Chronicles is a huge fan of scoffing at ridiculous hyperbole. That's why we love that goofy Councilman Mike Pope so dang much. He provides us with a steady diet of eccentric exaggeration. His latest lap through looney land? Well, it came in the April 23 nky.com story by Cindy Schroeder, "Villa Hills investigation findings to be unveiled".

What did our boy Pope offer up this time? He said of the planned, uninterrupted presentation of Special Counsel Phil Taliaferro's initial findings scheduled for Monday, April 30 at River Ridge Elementary, "kind of sounds like a Communist court". Is that right? You don't say. Hmmm. We aren't sure we agree with that.

Isn't the public invited to the presentation? Yes they are. Isn't the presentation being broadcast on the Government Channel and recorded by the Telecommunications Board of Northern Kentucky for future replay? Yes it is. Won't the media do extensive reporting on the facts presented? You can take that to the bank. So for what reason does Pope equate Monday's presentation to a "Communist court"? Perhaps because the structure of the April 30 Special Meeting derails the plan we are sure the Martins along with Pope and Noll had for totally disrupting Mr. Taliaferro's presentation. How would they do this? It would be done with a mega-dose of the same antics we have witnessed over the last sixteen dreadful months.

We would see Mike Pope constantly interrupting Mr. Taliaferro with off-the-subject questions. We would see the tattered remnants of Martin's hillbilly lynch mob scattered throughout River Ridge Cafeteria (you would know them by their cowboy hats and boots, tube tops and plaid shirts, oversized-belt buckles and portable spittoons). You would hear the Martinites shouting out things like, "Ahhh tayul yuuuuu whuuuut" and "Ahhh do-unt rahhhtly buuu-leeeve this hayer stooof". We are sorry. We get it that if you don't frequent that popular hillbilly hangout, the Villa Hills Civic Club, you may not know what we mean. That is actually a good thing.

If this was truly a "Communist Court", the first thing we would hear is that Martin is suffering the effects of a "cold". Several months would go by with no public appearances by "The Little CEO". The next news would be that "The Little Man From Norwood" has sadly succumbed to his "illness". Within months following Martin's untimely demise, government officials would say, "Who was Mike Martin? We've never heard of him".

That is not what is about to take place. There will be plenty of time for comments and questions when a removal hearing is held.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Martin has still not posted the April 30 presentation by Special Counsel on his City website calendar. How transparent is that again?]

What Did He Really Say?

The Martin Chronicles has a certain fondness for the quickly-marching-to-extinction Kentucky Enquirer. Despite the drivel churned out by their "infighting-obsessed" headline writer, the old rag has done a pretty fair job of covering Villa Hills recently. Not always. But recently.

We got a chuckle from a recent headline, "Villa Hills mayor apologizes to councilman". You see, we aren't sure the mendacious Martin actually did apologize to Councilman Tim Sogar. A close listen to what Martin says seems to reveal, "You got it. If I was wrong, I'm sorry".

When dealing with an experienced fabricator like Martin, that extra little word is important. Why? Because Martin still thinks he knows more about the law than the City Attorney. It is very similar to Martin's "happy to tell you" report during his 2010 dirtbag mayoral campaign that he wasn't suing the taxpayers-even when the US Supreme Court says he absolutely was. In Martin's mind, those nine folks in funny looking robes are clueless.

The Kentucky Enquirer clearly got one thing exactly right when they wrote that Martin has been "falsely claiming that Sogar was required to get a local occupational license, and failed to do so". Janet Martin went so far at the last council meeting as to loudly bray that the investigation of her corrupt husband was a "double standard". Mrs. Martin even chased Sogar while he was taking a bathroom break to harangue him further. So embarrassing. So disgraceful. So pathetic. So Martin.

Sogar got at least a phony apology from Mr. Martin. Now what we'd like Mr. Sogar to do at the next council meeting-assuming Martin hasn't been removed from office-is demand Janet Martin stand up and sing Brenda Lee's "I'm Sorry".

"I'm Sorry. So Sorry. That I married such a fool . . . "

Document Destruction Fast Track

As The Martin Chronicles reported Sunday, a motion hearing regarding Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin's destruction of City documents was on the court docket today. The motion was a request to have the court issue an order to Martin to stop destroying evidence in the pending lawsuit against the mayor for LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION.

As our readers know all too well, law enforcement officers stopped the Villa Hills Public Works crew from burning City documents on January 5, 2012. Martin told the Public Works Director not to let anyone know he had ordered them to do it. Martin ordered the destruction of documents after both the City Attorney and Attorneys from the Kentucky League of Cities sent written notice to Martin about the importance of preserving all City records during the lawsuit. The document Martin falsified after-the-fact to cover up what he really had destroyed is blown out of the water by some of the actual documents law enforcement recovered from the fire.

As fate would have it, the Court House was evacuated this morning. Sources say someone called in a bomb scare. No, The Martin Chronicles is not going to touch that. It's too easy. That is not our brand of humor. Nothing really funny about a bomb scare. And we want to be factual. Some were concerned that the evacuation would cause weeks of delay.

That was not the case. When court re-convened, the judge scheduled an evidentiary hearing on Martin's records destruction for this Thursday morning at 11am. The Martin Chronicles Legal Team thinks that the Judge's schedule for the evidentiary hearing is on a very "fast track". Especially given the fact that other motions on today's docket were continued for weeks. That may very well speak to the seriousness of the matter.

These legal experts also expect witnesses to include the Villa Hills' Public Works Director and Police Chief. We also imagine that the judge will get the opportunity to see some of the documents recovered from the fire-that were not on Martin's falsified list.

Borrow, Tax And Spend

The Martin Chronicles can only imagine that the Tea Partiers, Liberty Leaguers, Home Schoolers, Bible Thumpers and all the other "Don't Tread On Me" flag-waving, tri-cornered hat-wearing, government-hating fanatics were aghast when Mike Pope revealed the "Martin/Pope Borrow, Tax and Spend Road Plan" proposal at last Wednesday night's council "infight". The worst of all three worlds. We can also only speculate that the other nimrods on Pope's floundering finance committee provided their "valuable" input at their most recent secret meeting. This brilliant idea may have been concocted by just Martin and Pope.

So what is the gist of the plan? Well, Mayor Martin and Councilman Pope strongly support the idea of borrowing $500,000 (not even enough to fund one year of the City Engineer's cost forecasts), and paying it back over ten years by locking in the maximum property tax increase allowed by law each year over that same time period. That represents a property tax increase of approximately 60%.

Martin and Pope failed to explain how they would fund year two of their plan. Or year three. Or year four. Or year five Or year six. Okay, we know. Most of our readers are very bright. We are sure they understand that the "Martin/Pope Borrow, Tax and Spend Road Plan" is yet another prescription for financial disaster. And Martin has already provided an overdose of those prescriptions to the City's budget. Why else would he be constantly fretting about losing his wife's (?) house?

What has created the supposed need for the "Martin/Pope Borrow, Tax and Spend Road Plan"? That one is easy to answer. It is the fault of the two authors of this shocking proposal.

First, Mike Pope. The guy who has spent the last five years perpetually attacking the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Hey, we actually agree with Pope that the UNFAIR STICKER TAX should be done away with. The only difference is that The Martin Chronicles has suggested several logical alternatives. Pope has not. All Pope has done is poison the well and then asked everyone to gather around for a drink.

Then "The Little CEO". In 2010, Martin campaigns on the false promise to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Then he sends the collection of the UNFAIR STICKER TAX to Boss Arlinghaus' County Court House just in time for Arlinghaus to layer on his own $35 PER CAR UNFAIR STICKER TAX. Much like everything else Martin has championed over these past sixteen horrific months, this has turned into an unqualified disaster.

Martin and Pope also failed to explain how they would fund the other rising costs every City government must face. Rising retirement costs. Rising cost of dispatch services. Rising cost of fuel and energy. Rising cost of health care. You get the picture.

Maybe Martin's plan to lay off half of the City's employees will offset the other rising costs. Who needs City services anyway? But please, don't tell anybody about that. Remember, Martin was really hoping to keep that part of his plan a secret. Then those rascals at WCPO had to go ahead and report what he actually said!

Monday, Monday

The Martin Chronicles believes the next two Mondays will be quite interesting in Villa Hills, the hate-filled home of one Mayor Mike Martin. Today we will consider Monday, April 23.

According to an email we obtained written by the Villa Hill City Attorney, there is a motion on Judge Summe's monthly docket tomorrow for an order to "prohibit the mayor (Martin) from destroying documents or evidence." Say what?!?!? Did we read that correctly? It takes a COURT ORDER to stop Martin from doing something he isn't supposed to do anyway? Think about it. If State statutes didn't stop Martin from tampering with evidence, why would Martin worry about what he will surely perceive as a "silly court order". "Lone wolf"? Remember?

Our legal experts tell us that there are two items on the docket ahead of the Martin motion. Because of time constraints, it is entirely possible that there will be a continuance in the Martin matter. Great news for fans of Mike Martin. Bad news for JUSTICE.

Our legal expert opines that a continuance won't matter much at this point. "What the heck. Martin was first caught burning City records on January 5. There are indications that he continued to shred records after that. It's been nearly four months. At the rate Martin has been destroying documents, there can't be a (EXPLETIVE) thing left at this point anyway.

Try To Imagine

The Martin Chronicles asks that you use your imagination for this post. Pretend that you, just as the nitwits at that dingy dump they call the Villa Hills Civic Club do, think that Mayor Mike Martin has done absolutely nothing wrong. Imagine if you can, just as the hapless Kentucky Enquirer headline writer does, that Martin is an earnest, good government messiah who is nothing more than a victim of "infighting". Visualize the world through the eyes of the Tea Partiers, Liberty Leaguers and other various and sundry tri-cornered hat-wearing fanatics who drool when they remember then-Councilman Mike Martin's tirade over the Public Works Director's "reckless" purchase of a $40 garden hose.

Are you there yet? Can you see it? Good. So how does it feel?

• Now, how do we explain Martin's persistent sixteen months of failure to adhere to Kentucky Open Records statutes?
• How do we justify Martin's after-hours removal of computers kept "in storage" at employee work stations from City premises?
• How do we rationalize Martin's January 5 burning of City records that occurred despite written requests from the City Attorney and Kentucky League of Cities to preserve all ( as in all) City records?
• How do we defend Martin's falsification of a document intended to misrepresent what records were actually destroyed on January 5?
• How do we excuse the "confidential" reprimand issued by the Villa Hills Ethics Board for his misuse of City personnel and resources for political activity?
• How do we endorse Martin's decimation of the Villa Hills Police Department that has led to an explosion in unnecessary overtime cost and a skyrocketing crime rate?
• How do we ratify Martin's (and his wife's) dishonest, LIBELOUS attacks on perceived enemies like Councilman Tim Sogar and a host of others?
• How do we defend the hiring of two unqualified Civic Club cronies at a combined pay rate of $62.50 an hour and the awarding of unbid contracts to more Civic Club cohorts for items as innocuous as fire extinguishers?
• How do we support Martin's inability to enact a coherent budget for sixteen months? His frenzied pleas to council for a six-figure budget amendment in a vain attempt to stem his tsunami of taxpayer red ink? His current plan to send the taxpayers into even further debt and lock them into years of guaranteed tax increases?

If, in our imaginary world, Martin is actually an honest man, there is only one other logical explanation. Martin must be a hopelessly incompetent, in-completely-over-his-head, thoroughly unprofessional dolt.

Do you feel better now?

What Time Clock?

Being a curious blog, The Martin Chronicles decided to learn more about how Councilman Jim Noll's proposed time clock for Villa Hills' employees is working in the City of Ft. Mitchell. In the event you didn't watch Wednesday night's meeting, council and the public were informed that Ft. Mitchell had instituted the same time clock Noll is proposing to track Villa Hills 11 "hired hands".

It was announced that Mayor Martin and his endlessly interim city clerk would be making the trip up Buttermilk Pike to observe the Ft. Mitchell time clock in action. Or perhaps not.

You see, we had one of our reporters contact Ft. Mitchell to get an update. Boy, were we surprised to learn that Ft. Mitchell hasn't adopted the time clock! It looks like the mayor and endlessly interim city clerk are going to be very bored when they go to Ft. Mitchell for their training session.

Oh, by the way. You didn't hear it discussed at the council meeting. But Mayor Martin's move to have Kenton County Boss Steve Arlinghaus' courtesans collect the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX has been an unmitigated disaster. At the current rate of collections, actual UNFAIR STICKER revenues will be lucky to reach 60% of the budget target.

Here's more good UNFAIR STICKER TAX news. Boss Arlinghaus wants to impose his own UNFAIR $35 PER CAR COUNTY STICKER TAX. So, for the rare Villa Hills' resident who obeys the law it will now cost $75 PER CAR!

Time for another budget amendment? Or, maybe an injunction!

Little Man, You Had A Busy Night

The Martin Chronicles is following several story leads that surfaced at last night's Villa Hills city council meeting. It certainly appears that Mayor Martin is right on the edge of losing any semblance of control over a City that was ranked Number One in Northern Kentucky just two short years ago. What has gone wrong? We will learn more about that when the Special Counsel presents the initial findings at River Ridge Elementary on Monday, April 30 beginning at 6:30pm.

Based on last night's meeting, just how poorly are things going?

Martin's lies aren't working. The little man from Norwood was forced to make a very embarrassing public apology for the scurrilous attack he and his wife launched against Councilman Tim Sogar last month. Mr. Sogar explained the reasons why, contrary to Martin's fabrications, he is not required to have an Occupational License. The City Attorney surprisingly swatted away Martin's lame questions and protests. Martin was not even provided salt or pepper for the crow he was forced to eat.

Councilman George Bruns laid waste to the Martin Manifesto that the mayor took door-to-door this past Sunday. Bruns dismantled Martin's hand-delivered deceptions point by point. Martin's feeble response? "I'm not going to discuss it with you, George." Where is that old bravado and bluster that the CEO used to exhibit?

The City Attorney also told the mayor, council, God and the camera that the uncontracted arrangement Mayor Martin unilaterally struck with his $47.50 per hour crony-hire clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber well more than one year ago was not a good idea. While The Martin Chronicles has said that since the blog launched on October 8, 2011, we think it is significant that the City Attorney demonstrated the sand to make that statement so publicly. Martin's response? He re-shuffled his already over-shuffled papers.

It is also becoming evident that Martin has completely mismanaged the City's finances. Last night we heard some shocking numbers about line items that are literally hemorrhaging red ink. It is such a mess that the City Attorney informed council that they have the legal right to ask a judge to issue an injunction to bar the mayor from more rampant waste of taxpayer money.

Council also sent signals that the mayor's budget proposal for next fiscal year may not be approved. That would mean two years without a new budget. We aren't sure whether passage of a new budget would make any difference. Martin simply can't control spending.

Councilman and Finance Committee Chairman Mike Pope went so far as to suggest the council consider borrowing $500,000 to fund street repair. The debt would be repaid over ten years by annual tax increases. Red ink, debt that equates to more than 15% of the City's annual revenues and TAX INCREASES LOCKED IN FOR AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE? Mike Pope is certainly not the Tea Partier he likes to masquerade himself as.

We also wonder about Councilman Jim Noll. How, after droning on for nearly a half an hour about something as meaningless as time clocks for eleven City employees can Noll suggest that it is important for Special Counsel to keep his April 30 presentation concise? Who is Noll trying to kid?

Along those lines, we find it shameless that Martin would question the amount of money being spent for Special Counsel's investigation. It is Martin's perpetual dodge, dip, duck, dive and uh, dodge of the Special Counsel's requests that has wasted so much time.

Martin has never met a taxpayer dollar he doesn't want to waste.

How Does Martin Define "Transparency"?

The Martin Chronicles has never accused Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin of being even a little bit bright. So maybe when he constantly blows his own tiny horn about how "transparent" he is, he simply doesn't know what the word means. More likely, this is just another in an incredibly lengthy series of Martin fabrications.

You may be wondering what prompted this rare additional MC post. Well, one of our reporters pointed out this morning that as of two minutes ago the April 30 Special Counsel presentation at River Ridge is still not listed on Martin's wonderfully irrelevant City Website. Is that "transparent"?

Geez, Martin's recent Mendacious Manifesto hailed the antediluvian website as his misadministration's crowning accomplishment. No reference to the meeting? Why, that is awfully strange. Don't think it is an oversite though. Is that "transparent"?

You see, Martin also neglected to mention the looming April 30 Special Counsel presentation in his Council Report published in the Voice of Villa Hills. The corrupt CEO loaded the screed up with all manner of pointless propaganda. But left out the presentation. Is that "transparent"?

Here's the real point. If Martin was confident that the Special Counsel's presentation would vindicate him, he would push to get as many people there as possible. He would want the residents to see that he has done nothing wrong. He would want people to conclude that he is a good-government messiah being unfairly persecuted by bullying council people who are simply smarting from the results of the 2010 election.

That is what Martin and his hateful wife constantly say after all. But of course, they are lying.

Martin hopes he can keep a lid on the many scandals he has created just long enough for the troglodytes at the Civic Club to elect "15 people" to protect his dishonest hind quarters.

Whether that happens or not is entirely up to you.

Council Meeting Tonight!

The Martin Chronicles looks forward to this night every month. It's the Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin Show! Watch him serve up colossal whopper after whopper after whopper after flaming whopper while simultaneously finger-pointing, blame-laying and dirt-dishing. You'll witness the little man from Norwood as he does his dazzling chair-spin while frenziedly chomping his Juicy Fruit with all of the enthusiasm of a rabid beaver tearing into a fresh wood pile!

Is there really any doubt that even the IQ-challenged CEO is starting to figure out that he is facing problems larger than his failure to frequently secure the occupational license he requires annually to run his handyman business? If there was any doubt remaining, reading WCPO's online report of the malevolent mayor and the wretched remnants of his once formidable hillbilly lynch mob stumbling door-to-door with a LIE and LIBEL-filled version of his Unahandyman Manifesto confirmed that he knows he has trouble with a Capital T.

WCPO's online story also rightfully pointed out that the mendacious mayor conveniently neglected to mention that he is under serious investigation for matters far more serious than the lack of an occupational license in his Manifesto.

The Martin Chronicles also noticed that the Unahandyman's door-to-door, desperate diatribe failed to include his now many weeks-old, still unkept promise explaining why he thinks the Villa Hills Police Department can operate at 25% below proper manpower levels. We guess that would have also required him to also explain the skyrocketing crime rate and his frantic push for a six-figure budget amendment just to cover his mismanaged overtime costs.

The Martin Chronicles suggests you watch the council meeting tonight. Don't worry about keeping track of all of Martin's fabrications. Don't waste your time totalling the endless spouting-off of Martin's willing-accomplice wife. Those are our jobs! We hope to give you updates if news breaks.

Also, be sure to get April 30 on your calendar. You really should attend the Special Counsel's presentation of his initial findings at River Ridge. Learn once and for all that you are NOT getting what you thought you were voting for!

Norwood-Style Politics

The Martin Chronicles has learned that Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin and the tattered remnants of his hillbilly lynch mob spent a beautiful Sunday, April 15 afternoon delivering LIBEL door-to-door. The message? A condensed version of the Unahandyman's Manifesto cheesily titled "A Note To Villa Hills Residents".  

Hilariously, Martin decided to edit out his fifth different explanation about why he felt good with his decision to crush the City safe with a backhoe. But, he left in many of the LIBELOUS claims he has been making about the previous administration. If anyone still believes anything Martin says about City computers after he was witnessed taking them off-site to parts unknown many, many months ago or City records after Martin was caught burning truckloads of them on January 5 - we hear someone may be selling a very nice bridge in Brooklyn.

One could sum up Martin's hilarious letter by saying that because he has now posted cryptic financial reports and a meaningless schedule of meetings on an irrelevant City website it is okay that he:

• has racked up an incredible six-figure waste of taxpayer money in police overtime alone;
• has fouled-up the budget so badly he is threatening to lay-off half of the City's remaining employees;
• has decimated and mismanaged the Villa Hills Police Department leading to a serious spike in crime;
• has single-handedly destroyed the City's street repair program;
• has mismanaged his way into triggering one serious lawsuit and is on the verge of being hit with at least two more;
• has redefined "transparency" as meaning a refusal to fill Open Records requests and a failure to follow State Open Meetings statutes;
• has been slapped with a "confidential" reprimand by the City's Ethics Board for misuse of City resources and personnel;

Want to hear something really funny? Martin claims in his Mendacious Manifesto that he has taken the "high road". So LIBELING, SLANDERING, DEFAMING and FLAT-OUT LYING about his perceived enemies and everything he has done is the "high road"? Compared to what? Genocide?

The Martin Chronicles thinks only those people who wanted Norwood-style dirtbag politics carried about by a low-life, sociopathic sewer rat are getting what they voted for.

Does that include you?

Meetings Loom

The Martin Chronicles will be covering the Villa Hills City Council meeting Wednesday evening. Believe it or not, we hope it is a fast, smooth meeting. The big meeting this month will be the Special Counsel’s presentation of his initial findings on April 30 at River Ridge Elementary – assuming Martin or his council cronies Mike Pope and Jim Noll don’t pull some scurrilous, sophomoric stunt to sabotage it. Those kinds of abusive antics are certainly something we could expect from any of those three. 
 

We understand that the April 30 meeting will be taped for future replay on the Government Channels, but not broadcast LIVE. So the Martin Chronicles plans to dispatch a squad of reporters to cover these important proceedings. If you care about your City even a little bit you need to get your butt up out of the La-Z-Boy and get up there to find out if you are getting what you voted for.

If you believe that Martin should be held accountable for the fraud he has perpetrated on the City, you definitely need to attend the April 30 meeting. Why? Because you can bet that the frantic Martin will be emptying out the lunatic asylums, leper colonies, highwaymen hideouts, X-rated movie theaters, theaters of the absurd, opium dens, golf leagues, refugee camps, speakeasies, snake pits, illegal gambling casinos, crack houses, round houses, cat houses, gin mills, puppy mills, prayer meetings, holding tanks, drunk tanks, propane tanks, clip joints, bookie joints, strip joints, dog fights, cock fights, fight clubs, chop shops, saloons, unlicensed contractor job sites and of course, the Villa Hills Civic Club to rally every last knuckle-dragger still a card-carrying member of his hillbilly lynch mob to create an ugly spectacle. Because that is the type of person Mike Martin is.

Keep in mind that there are still Civic Club troglodytes who lament that they would love to see what Martin could do if only there were six Mike Popes on city council. The sane members of council need and deserve your public support on April 30.

There is one thing we think we should definitely see at this Wednesday’s council gathering that may be a little painful, but certainly necessary. Namely, Mayor Mike Martin and his spouse Janet should both make a public apology to Councilman Tim Sogar for their spurious claim that Sogar should resign because he doesn’t have an Occupational License. No, not because interior designer-extraordinaire County Boss Steve Arlinghaus doesn’t seem to think that law must be obeyed. It is because Mr. Sogar IS NOT REQUIRED TO HAVE AN OCCUPATIONAL LICENSE. It’s as simple as that.

Several sources are telling us that Martin and his wife are planning a LIBELOUS, SLANDEROUS and DEFAMATORY last stand in a desperate attempt to hold on to the CEO and MRS. CEO positions. Rumors are rampant that they are pulling out every Branch Norwoodian trick in the book to bully their opposition.

The Martin Chronicles believes that Martin’s luck is finally running out. Lie after lie after lie after lie worked for many years. The deceit worked for his “shoddy at best” handyman business for a several years. His LIES, SLANDER, LIBEL and DEFAMATION carried all the way to his equally “shoddy at best” CEO position. But now people are keeping close track of all the conflicting stories Martin tries to tell to cover his tracks. These holier-than-thou Martin dirtbag tricks and lies may have worked then. But we are beginning to believe that they are not going to work now.

A Budget Would Be Helpful

On the day after Friday the 13^th, The Martin Chronicles hopes to have better luck than Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin had at the conclusion of a meeting Tuesday evening. The meeting’s purpose was to discuss the emergency dispatch services the City of Erlanger provides to several other Kenton County Cities, including Villa Hills.

Our snitches tell us that the meeting itself was pretty standard fare. Erlanger officials bashed interior decorator-extraordinaire Boss Arlinghaus’ Kenton County Emergency Dispatch and promised to do everything they possibly could do to contain their escalating costs. All fairly predictable.

The funny part actually took place after the meeting. It began with officials from a few different Cities chatting about what they may do next regarding Emergency Dispatch Services.

Proving the old saying, “There is no such thing as a stupid question” isn't always accurate, Martin approached these officials and asked, “How do you guys pay for these dispatch Services?”

One amused official replied with the obvious answer, “We put it in our City budget.”

Without missing a beat, a second official stuck a sarcastic verbal dagger in Martin’s heart, saying, “But that won’t work for you. You haven’t even gotten a budget passed!”

Our snitches tell us that Martin put his head down and walked away from the belly-laughing group.

You are getting (EXACTLY) what you voted for.

That's Our Story And We're Sticking To It.

Everyone on the staff of the Martin Chronicles has an imitation rabbit’s foot in their pocket today. We all tossed salt over our shoulder as we ate our Midnight Meal before resuming work on this very early morning. No one will be careless around mirrors or walk under any ladders as we make our way through the day. Black cats, fugetaboutit! Why, because it is Friday the 13^th of course. We may or may not be superstitious, but we sure aren’t going to press our luck either!

The Martin Chronicles is very rough on the Villa Hills Civic Club. And why not? They are largely responsible for perpetrating the fraud on the people of Villa Hills that is Mayor Mike Martin. Despite our tough treatment, we have many friends there who give us updates.  For the record, they are certainly not the vine-swinging log-thumpers that we regularly skewer with such great regularity.

Much like our report on Martin’s Tuesday computer antics, this report also sent us on a mission to do a whole lot of fact checking. We confirmed it with multiple sources within the Club and feel comfortable reporting what we know to you. We just can’t believe anybody can be this stupid.

Martin, his wife Janet and the $15 per hour crony-hire clerk whose signature is on the falsified paperwork supposedly listing all of the documents Martin threw into his “city records barbecue” on January 5^th were having what we have to assume  they thought was a private meeting at an out-of-the-way table in the Club. They should have been more careful. Perhaps the crony-hire clerk will take another unanticipated trip of Florida after Special Counsel gets a hold of this.

Witnesses say the Martins and the crony-hire clerk were surrounded by notebooks and papers. These witnesses have good reason to believe that the trio were trying to “get their story straight” about their destruction of City documents. No matter the story they ended up concocting, several sources confirm these three co-conspirators are in for some huge surprises in the weeks ahead.

Martin certainly seems to be making a concerted effort to cover the tracks of his last sixteen months. What he doesn’t know is what is going to bite him.

[EDITORS NOTE: We are working on a breaking story that an April 23 court proceeding has been announced dealing with Martin's January 5 document burn. We will provide details as we uncover them.]

Paging Detective Mark Fuhrman

The Martin Chronicles is working on a story that we would rate as off the “bizarre meter” even in the Mayor Mike Martin’s hate-filled hamlet of Villa Hills. Even still, several credible sources tell a similar story leading us to believe it is quite true.

Here is what we know. Special Counsel arrived at the Villa Hills City Building accompanied by a computer forensics expert on Tuesday, April 10. We are told that it was their stated intention to examine the computers that Martin removed from City premises after-hours in his personal vehicle several months ago. We have also learned that Martin refused to allow Special Counsel to examine the computers on Tuesday.

Several witnesses also report that they saw Public Works employees carrying the computers in white EVIDENCE boxes. Strangely, these witnesses report that the Public Works employees were wearing rubber gloves. We are still trying to confirm why, or even if, Martin considers the computers “evidence”. “Evidence” of what?!?!

We have other questions. Does Martin have the legal right to interfere in the Special Counsel’s investigation (an investigation that was properly authorized under Kentucky Revised Statute 83A by a majority of City Council) into his activities? Is Martin trying to hide something? If so, what and why? Furthermore, if these computers are “evidence”, how many people have had access to them over the last nearly sixteen months? The list of people who could have used, misused or tampered with the computers over that length of time could total in the dozens.

Let’s face it. Martin took the computers off City premises after-hours in his own vehicle. Where did he take them? What was done to them? As we first posted on October 29, 2011, there is the whole issue of what is generally referred to as “chain of custody”. The detectives in the botched OJ Simpson investigation received a harsh lesson in that. Given the “shoddy at best” handling of these computers, what, if anything, can be believed?

Martin’s most recent computer antics certainly add more grist for the Special Counsel’s mill. The Special Counsel presentation of his initial findings is now scheduled for Monday April 30 in the cafeteria at River Ridge Elementary. The Martin Chronicles will most certainly be there. We believe that if you care even a little bit about Villa Hills, you should also attend.

We are going to continue to follow leads on this breaking story. As Mike Martin famously wrote in his three-page Manifesto, you are getting what you voted for!

Tomorrow's Tease: More Computer Antics

The Martin Chronicles has learned that Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin has ratcheted up the controversy surrounding his after-hours removal of computers from City premises in his personal vehicle.
Dial up "the Old MC" any time after 3am tomorrow to find out how!