The Martin Chronicles reporters returned to our palatial offices very early tonight. They were at The Dennis M. Stein Municipal Building for-hopefully-gone-for-good-in-three-weeks-Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's final council meeting. The meeting lasted barely forty-five minutes. Martin's four-year calamity is ending not with a bang, but with a whimper.
One of our intrepid reporters offered some interesting observations:
"You know, I thought I might actually feel sorry for Martin tonight. After all, it's obvious that he's still in shock over being whipped so badly on November 4. 84%-16%! How does anyone possibly process an amazing humiliation like that? Even a moron like Martin has to know that when you only get 514 of the 3,224 votes cast, you're a major LOSER.
The little guy is now just a pathetic, hollow shell of his old self. I think back to his chest-beating 'I'm the CEO. Everything is my decision. Get over it. We're moving on' days. Man, Martin was a pitiful whipped pup just going through the motions tonight. Everyone could tell he just wanted to get it over with and get the hell out.
But you know what? I didn't feel the least bit sorry for Martin. He earned that humiliation and a whole lot more. Despite what a few idiots have said over the past four years, Martin did so many terrible things to so many people. He deserved to have his ass whipped. And Martin has yet to run the very costly legal gauntlet that's waiting for him.
Just look what Martin did to everyone he falsely blamed for his justified 2007 forgery arrest. None of them deserved to be treated the way Martin treated them. Lies, lies, lies, lies and more lies. Hell, Martin and his cronies took very great pleasure actually trying their nasty best to ruin peoples' lives. What a sack of $#!+ they all are. Those are the things that bastard Martin and his bastard cronies did that can never really be repaired. To hell with him and the rest of them."
It seems that Martin's Toad has already jumped off the-taxpayer-funded-lily-pad:
It is hilariously obvious that Martin's personal-and-soon-to-be-former-taxpayer-funded-City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry can even read the dinosaur media. Why? Because Toad "no-showed" tonight's meeting, sending a-hopefully-less-expensive-to-the-taxpayers-replacement to fill in for him. He knows Mayor-elect Callery wants him gone. And gone now.
Toad has been a very expensive disgrace. Toad has willingly carried out Martin's every order. Toad had no problem attempting to destroy the well-deserved reputations of every undeserving person who stood in the soon-to-be-exiting diminutive dictator's path. Bad, bad, bad, bad, very bad.
Now, Toad's taxpayer-funded teat has been pulled away from him. It's about damned time. What a terrible person.
But, do you want to know the best part of this? Toad will have to go to his grave never knowing who did him in. Toad will never know all of the people who work for The Martin Chronicles. Too bad. Too sad, Toad.
The teeny-Boppers just can't let go:
The worst elements of "The Martin Youth" came to tonight's meeting to offer their condolences to their soon-to-be-deposed dictator. Oh, the feckless fanaticism of youth! But don't worry. The brazen "Boys From Brazil" are already planning to join the maniacal Martin in his crazy quest to return to power. And, they plan to join him beginning in 2016.
That took some serious guts:
It is a fact that outgoing Councilman Jim Cahill has privately told several people that Martin's abject mismanagement over the past four dreadful years has left the City "hemorrhaging money". Even still, Cahill was the poor bastard picked to present the diminutive dictator with a plaque tonight. So, Martin was thanked for his last four years of service to the City? Thank you, sir! Can I have another? What a cruel joke on Villa Hills' over-taxedpayers.
Better late than never:
Even Martin's mayoral predecessor Mike Sadouskas came to tonight's meeting. Sure, it was just after the meeting was adjourned. But he was there.
Sadouskas shook hands, hugged attendees and wished some of the incoming council members "good luck". He was overheard telling a questioner that he hadn't been in the council chambers on "meeting night" in four years. Will Martin be able to say that? Not likely.
When asked if he "missed this", Sadouskas replied, "Nope". Even still, we suspect that Sadouskas wasn't the least bit unhappy that his successor proved time and again that he was a-way-in-over-his-head-FAILURE.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Yes, this is a time to celebrate. Martin got his ass kicked. But, we aren't going to let our guard down for a even a second. Martin has no intention to do the right thing and just go away. Next up? Our retrospective on the last four dreadful years of the Martin Reign of Error. Lest we forget.]
