While our beloved publisher was a bit surprised by such a response from someone who is making money working with the mismanaging Martin, it didn't deter a request for additional information. Following is a transcription of the recording of their discussion.
Beloved publisher (BP): I have to tell you that I'm at least mildly surprised by your answer. Do you care to elaborate?
Confidential informant (CI): I've got no problem with that. For starters, Martin is dumber than a brick. He never understands anything I tell him. Or, at least, he twists around what I tell him time and again to fit his own nonsensical purposes. It's seems almost pathological.
BP: I have to confess I'm not at all surprised. But why do you think he does that?
CI: You mean aside from the fact that Martin is one of the dumbest people I have ever met?
BP: Yeah, that's right. Aside from the fact that Martin is clearly an idiot.
CI: Where do I start? I don't think I've ever worked with a bigger rube in my career. He has absolutely no conscience about spending huge sums of taxpayer money to get what he wants. It's like working with a three year old-kid in a candy store and mommies credit card.
BP: That's an ironic observation given Martin's previous FORGERY problems. Go on.
CI: I know more than a little bit about Martin's history. While I know some people will be upset, Martin is a total hillbilly who seems hell-bent on getting some weird kind of backwoods justice against everyone who's pissed him off.
BP: I sure know that. Go on.
CI: Again, I did a lot of checking in to Martin before I agreed to work with him. I know he ran for his first term making the phony claim that he was gonna restore some form of unnecessary "truth and integrity" to the mayor's office. What a joke. I've never witnessed more corn pone corruption in my life than I've seen with Martin. But, I'm almost ashamed to admit that I can't walk away because I'm making too much money.
BP: What do you mean?
CI: You're kidding, right?
BP: Not at all. You've got insider day-to-day contact with Martin and I don't. Thank God.
CI: Look, Martin portrays himself as some kind of strange "wahoo messiah" bound and determined to "fix" all of the non-existent problems in Villa Hills City government. But the truth of the matter is, Martin is misusing the dwindling City treasury to carry out his own personal agenda of revenge. It couldn't be clearer to anyone with more than half a brain.
BP: You base that on what?
CI: C'mon (name withheld to prevent Martin's hillbilly lynchmob from retaliating). Have you been paying any attention to what's happened to the local police department, for God's sake? Sure you have. I read your blog.
BP: Okay. Fair enough. Go ahead.
CI: So why do you think they've dwindled down to almost nothing? Martin is trying to push most of the officers out just because he's pissed off about his 2007 FORGERY ARREST. Even though we both know he should have gone to jail for FORGERY. He's one lucky little bastard.
BP: At least for now.
CI: I hope you're right.
BP: What else?
CI: I wonder if people have clue one that Martin fully expects the taxpayers to foot the bill for all of the personal lawsuits he's generated? Martin was adamant about using taxpayer money to resolve the personal lawsuits against him in an October, 2013 mediation hearing. The mediator privately told me that "Martin wasn't too bright" after talking with him for just a few minutes. It's pathetic.
BP: That's a fair comment.
CI: But I just can't walk away. Even though I should.
BP: Why?
CI: Because I'm making way too much money covering Martin's constant foul-ups. I just can't walk away from that. After all, that's what I'm supposed to do.
BP: That's why I'm very glad to be way beyond that.
CI: And you should consider yourself one lucky sonuvabitch because of that.
BP: Oh, I do. What else?
CI: How in the world do you explain the nitwits who still try to defend Martin's lawbreaking and corruption? Oh, I understand the dim-witted relatives who showed up at Martin's removal hearing wearing straw hats with signs that said "Follow me to the witch hunt". And I can almost understand why Martin's wife Janet got herself dragged in to a serious lawsuit trying to dig dirt for her husband. I can almost understand stupid people like Dale Schaber who's now in a serious legal mess because he foolishly decided to push his buddy Martin's LIES door-to-door back in 2010. But what about the other people? How do you explain idiots who lie to the police or Special Counsel? How do you explain dumb asses who try to explain way Martin's criminal behavior by saying "he does great things for people". It's just dead-nuts crazy. That's the only way to explain it.
BP: I don't try to explain stupidity. My reporters simply bring our readers the facts.
CI: Yeah, I know that. You're a lucky bastard, too.
BP: Thanks. At least I guess.
CI: No, you're a very lucky bastard. I have to go home and take a scalding hot shower to wash the dirt off of me every time I have to meet with Martin. He's nothing more than a slimy crook hillbilly.
BP: Wow! That's clear enough. So, how would you sum it all up?
CI: Believe it or not, I've been hoping someone would ask me that question. I've been practicing my answer to that question for a while now.
BP: So what is the answer?
CI: Even if you think it's funny, its damned-well true. You can take the crooked hillbilly Martin out of the worst part of Norwood. But you can't take the worst part of Norwood out of that crooked hillbilly Martin.
BP: So you're saying Martin is just a simpleton jackass who road the 2010 Tea Party wave to win the mayoral race in 2010?
CI: No, I'm saying that Martin is certainly a simpleton jackass who also happens to be a corrupt, lawbreaking ridge runner who emigrated from Norwood, Ohio to end up completely ruining a City like Villa Hills. It's a cruel joke. In fact, it's a damned tragedy that the voters of Villa Hills created for themselves, TWICE. First, in 2010. Then again in 2012.
BP: Those are your words. Not the words of the Martin Chronicles. We don't abide by such highly-charged language. But, all I will say is that voters usually get the government they deserve.
The voters can send what our confidential informant describes as "a lawbreaking Norwood ridgerunner" packing in 253 days.
