Can They Really Multi-Task?

The Martin Chronicles staff sat around at our meeting table this morning and discussed what Villa Hills will be like one year from today. The chat mostly centered around what will be an election campaign just entering its fever pitch. Malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin will be attempting to make a case for why he deserves another four years to mismanage the town. Martin's opponent-or opponents-will be rightly explaining to the residents why its way past time to mercifully turn the page.

Additionally, Martin's hillbilly lynchmob will be traveling door-to-door sliming their hero's opponent-or opponents. Residents will be entertained with tall tales of an opponent-or opponents-who may be a criminal, may be a drug addict, may be an alcoholic, may be a philanderer, may be too old for the job, may be too young for the job, may be a card cheat, may be an embezzler, may be too lazy, may be too busy, may be too mean, may be too nice, may be out to get Martin, may be a Satanist and on and on and on.

But Martin has a problem he didn't have during his 2010 dirtbag mayoral campaign. What is that problem? Well, Martin now has a record he has to run on. And, the record is dismal.

• One of the first things Martin did after taking office in 2011 is hire one of his lowbrow cronies to foul-up the City's accounting and use taxpayer money to pay that crony $47.50 per hour and allow that crony to commit breach of contract.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to receive a confidential REPRIMAND from the Villa Hills Ethics Board.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' to have a judge rebuke him from the bench for the diminutive dictator's ILLEGAL destruction of City records. All Martin's attorneys could do is meekly claim they had no answer for Martin's ILLEGAL behavior.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to be CONVICTED ON SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY. In point of fact, Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to be convicted of anything.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to cut himself a TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR-PLUS BONUS CHECK.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to hire his personal attorney to serve as City Attorney.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history who signed an Executive Order permitting him to ARREST ANY RESIDENT WHO DISAGREES WITH HIM AT A COUNCIL MEETING.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history who has demonstrated an abject inability to work with TWO SEPARATE, SIX-PERSON GROUPS OF COUNCIL PEOPLE.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to try to convince an inattentive populace that spending ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS actually represents "saving money".
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to ask council to steer TWENTY-NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS out of a budget line-item that was supposed to be priority-one. Why? Because Martin doesn't have enough TAXPAYER MONEY to cover his ridiculous, sky-rocketing legal expenses.
• Martin is the first mayor in Villa Hills' history to try to RAM THROUGH AND ONEROUS TAX WITHOUT ANSWERING ANY OF COUNCIL'S QUESTIONS OR TAKING ANY PUBLIC COMMENT. 

Rest assured that despite Martin's power-mad, atrocious record, his opponent-or opponents-will not have a cakewalk to the mayor's office. Why? Because Martin's hillbilly lynchmob will once again be out in full force spreading all manner of LIES, SLANDER AND DEFAMATION. It is absolutely going to happen. And we'll be reporting all of the LIES.

One local wag warns any possible 2014 Martin opponent that they better not underestimate Martin's hillbilly lynchmob to wreak deceitful havoc. He warns that they should be ready to punch back hard. His insightful comment? "They may be mindless yahoos. But I believe they will still be able to walk, tell BOLD-FACED LIES and chew tobacco at the same time"

That is certainly something to remember.