Our
critics might call us “muckrakers” or “yellow journalists”. That is, if they
were smart enough to know what those terms mean. Instead, they roll out the
usual “vile” and “disgusting” claims. Our detractors like to attack us by
saying that we embarrass people. Well, they may actually be on to something
there. That is, if the mendacious Martin and his entourage are at all
embarrassed by the truth we report.
You
see, we double-check-heck, we
triple-check-all of the tips our sources provide. The results have spoken
for themselves. Think back to how many times the dinosaur media has followed our
many stories only to present their own reporting on those true stories. You will see more of that “copycat” dinosaur media
reportage in the days and weeks ahead.
But
not all of the tips received by The Martin Chronicles pan out. We have spiked
several supposed stories after careful investigation. Why? Because our beloved
publisher insists that we deal only in what we know is true.
Here are just a few examples of stories
we’ve (at least temporarily) spiked:
·
Despite the fact that there is an audio recording that was actually posted on
WCPO.com several months ago where the self-aggrandizing Martin declared himself
“The Superior”, we have been unable to corroborate the claim that Martin has
signed an Executive Order declaring himself “Mayor for life”.
·
Despite the fact that we know Martin has already hired his personal attorney to
serve as the City Attorney, we have been unable to corroborate the assertion
that Martin recently used taxpayer money to hire a Branch Norwoodian buddy who
flips burgers on the late night shift at the Anchor Grill to serve as the City’s
Head Chef.
·
Despite the fact that we have already shown you the e-mailed Open Record’s
requests from the manipulative Martin’s wife Janet to other municipalities attempting
to dig up “dirt” on Assistant Police Chief Joe Schutzman and-oddly-his then-minor son Joey, we have
been unsuccessful in the attempt to corroborate the claim that the little liar
has also used taxpayer money to hire his wife Janet to serve as the official nurse
for Villa Hills’ city employees or that the mendacious Martin planned to make
such a hire based on a false claim that he was doing so to “hold down insurance
costs”.
·
Despite the fact that we have obtained a Martin-signed Municipal Order
authorizing the expenditure of thousands of taxpayer dollars to bring in the
Federal Bureau of Investigation to research a yet-to-be-confirmed eleven hours of double-billed payroll, we have
been unable to corroborate the assertion that Martin has used taxpayer money to
hire former FBI Agent Fox Mulder to investigate paranormal activities in Villa
Hills.
·
Despite the fact that we have provided you documented evidence that Martin’s
shoddy-at-best handyman business has done effectively illegal electrical and
plumbing work in Villa Hills, we have not been able to find independent
corroboration that the miscreant Martin has signed a secret Executive Order
also granting his other handyman pals the right to conduct effectively illegal
electrical and plumbing work within the borders of Villa Hills.
·
Despite the fact that we have obtained a copy of a Martin-signed Executive
Order granting the small sultan the right to arrest anyone who protests his
radical plans, we have been unable to corroborate the assertion that Martin has
declared martial law in Villa Hills.
·
Despite the fact that we have obtained independent confirmation that various taxpayer-funded
attorneys have floated the idea of bankruptcy as a last-ditch means for The City
of Villa Hills to fend off the many legal claims the mismanaging Martin has
created, we can find no independent confirmation that Martin has actually
retained a local bankruptcy law firm (that advertises heavily on local
television) to handle Villa Hills’ bankruptcy proceedings.
·
Despite the fact that-as we have already
reported to you-that Martin is spending one hundred and fifty taxpayer-dollars
per hour to pay his personal-and now City-Attorney
Toad V. McMurtry to investigate the investigation of the State Auditor
investigation of the Kentucky Labor Department’s investigation of Martin’s
refusal to pay rightfully-earned overtime pay resulting from the diminutive
dictator’s abject mismanagement of personnel and payroll, we can find no
corroboration of the claim that Martin has used taxpayer money to hire a
private detective to investigate his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V.
McMurtry’s investigation of the State Auditor investigation of the Kentucky
Labor Department’s investigation of Martin’s refusal to pay rightfully-earned
overtime pay resulting from the miniature mullah’s abject mismanagement of
personnel and payroll.
Yes,
all of these claims seemed crazy at first blush. But then so did the claim that a
City’s mayor ordered a safe be crushed open by a backhoe. At least until it happened. So we had to
investigate all of the aforementioned assertions.
As a very wise man once said, “Many
things are improbable, but nothing is impossible”.
