The Martin Chronicles is reluctant to report on the burgeoning crime wave in mediocre Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. Why? Well, we think the news of a growing number of car thefts and home invasions may inspire Martin and his loony goon squad to press ahead even more quickly to disband the Villa Hills Police Department.
We can just hear Mayor Mighty Mouse now. "If they can't get the job done, I'll get someone who will. Safety is my first priority-er, uh, give or take he he he he he". Then bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus will ride in on his over-loaded white stallion to save the day with his Kenton Kounty Kops. It paints a beautiful picture. If you're a hare-brained hayseed.
That would leave the open question of why Martin chose to only get rid of one entity he believes "isn't getting the job done". Just consider this.
Martin has done nothing but issue a hide-saving, bogus reprimand to inert Interim City Clerk Sue Bree. According to Shorty, Bree has regularly violated Federal and State laws and City ordinances. Sounds like a horrific "hat trick" to us. Yet she continues to take up space-shredding her old Atkin's Diet recipes in contempt of a Court order-at 720 Rogers Road. And you are paying her.
Then there is Assistant City Clerk Kimberly Robbins. According to a press release issued by The Norwood Sewer Rat himself-and dutifully served up inaccurately by some media outlets-an intoxicated Robbins threatened a Kenton Kounty Korrections Kop, telling the poor S.O.B. that "there's a bullet with your name on it". Evidently that threat led to Robbins being "arrested right in front of the City Building". WOW! Really? Is that a fact? It gives one pause about conducting any business at 720 Rogers Road.
Oh, and that scary dude MARY HARDMAN. Does illegally torching City records fit The Little CEO's definition of "getting the job done"? It must. Because not only didn't MARY HARDMAN receive her lovely parting gift, she has now been put in charge of the meaningless Martin's all-important initiatives to save coffee, paper towels and toilet paper.
Along with that allegedly-treacherous triumvirate, Martin continues to use your tax dollars to employ a Police Chief who The Little CEO says routinely lies to him, a Detective he publicly stated under oath committed perjury and planted evidence and a Public Works Director who The Little Man From Norwood says took it upon himself to wantonly destroy City property.
But wait. There's more. You are also still paying "The-Bucket-Head-Crony-Hire- Incompetent-Clerk/Bookkeeper-That-Wouldn't-Leave" Cordelia Schaber. This despite THE FACT that she announced to the world that she resigned in November, 2011. Even the Mayan Calendar tells us that is more than a full year ago.
So, if Martin is telling the truth about any or all of these people, and if your tax dollars are still paying them-exactly who is it again that isn't getting the job done?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: What local loon recently had an unknown drunken teenage girl show up at his house buck naked? And what happened next? BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]
