The Martin Chronicles continues to be amazed by accounts of Villa Hills miscreant Mayor Mike Martin's obsession with the meaningless. We've reported on the heartburn Martin has over expenditures on trivial things like car washes and coffee (amounting to less than .0003% of the total City budget). Meanwhile, easy-to-remedy, large, unnecessary expenses don't even appear on Shorty's radar screen.
Insiders tell us that Martin recently threw a fit over the use of too many rolls of paper towels. Yes, rolls of paper towels. Seriously. We aren't making any of this up.
Our sources tell us that Martin is convinced that the Villa Hills Police Department is hoarding rolls of paper towels. First the Detective commits perjury. Then the Chief lies to Shorty. Next that rascally Detective plants evidence to set up the head of the Branch Norwoodians. Later, a rogue police officer hides one of the new police vehicles from The Norwood Sewer Rat. And now this. The entire police department is conspiring against The Little CEO to hide rolls of paper towels. Oh, the humanity!
Perhaps one of the first things Martin should do come January is appoint the reanimated Mary Koenig to head a Blue Ribbon Commission tasked with finding the missing rolls of paper towels. Why, that could save the City, well, uh, er, eh, um, some dollars!
Yep. Sounds about right.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We have a reporter trying to verify the incompetent Interim City Clerk Sue Bree's story that the malfeasant Martin makes employees bring their own toilet paper to work.]
