The Martin Chronicles' beloved publisher walked in to the office with an amazed look on his face this morning. He told us how he woke up very early and turned on his television to watch the news. What happened next? Our fearless leader saw an incredible infomercial. Fortunately he was able to fire up the DVR so that we can bring a portion of the infomercial to you. Who knows? You may want to buy some for last-minute stocking stuffers.
Hello, I'm Toad McMurtry, spokesperson for and co-inventor of the amazing new product Marti-MEM. Like most busy Americans, I'm sure you have found yourself in the position of either not being able or not wanting to remember some important facts.
Our amazing, breakthrough product, Marti-MEM, is scientifically-proven to help you restore your memory of key people, places and events. Start taking your dose of Marti-MEM every morning and your memory will be restored in just 48 hours!
With Marti-MEM, you may not have remembered then-BUT YOU WILL REMEMBER NOW!!!
Marti-MEM is not available in stores. Go to the phone right now and call 1-800-328-7448. Operators are standing by to take your order of Marti-MEM. That number again, 1-800-328-7448!
But wait, There's more!
Place your order for Marti-MEM in the next thirty minutes and you'll receive an autographed copy of Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin's book, "Shoddy-At-Best Excuses For All Occasions" absolutely free! You just pay separate shipping and handling.
Go to the phone immediately and call 1-800-328-7448 and you'll receive a 30-day supply of the breakthrough product Marti-MEM and your own autographed copy of "Shoddy-At-Best-Excuses For All Occasions" all for the low, low, LOW price of $19.99. That number again, 1-800-328-7448.
This is Toad McMurtry reminding you that while you may not have remembered then, YOU WILL REMEMBER NOW when you order Marti-MEM.
DISCLAIMER: Side effects from Marti-MEM include delusions of grandeur, pathological dishonesty, extreme paranoia, uncontrollable swiveling, inappropriate laughter, the inability to discern geometric shapes and stuttering.
