Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Random Observations On The Villa Hills' 2014 Campaign

The Martin Chronicles entire staff met on Tuesday evening to discuss our strategy for covering the remaining 33 days of the tumultuous election campaign in current, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's troubled Villa Hills. Our beloved publisher-who is definitely not a misogynist-served everyone a delicious feast of bacon-wrapped filet mignon, butter-dipped lobster, baked beans, cheese-covered asparagus, steamed brussels sprouts, Johnny Marzetti, loaded baked potatoes, overflowing salad with virtually any dressing the reporters and staff desired and a delicious dessert of cherry-covered cheesecake and pumpkin pie.

Why? Because our beloved publisher understands that his reporters are far more open after they have eaten a delicious meal.

Well, that was a good decision. Again, why? Because the conversation really began to roll.

Our reporters and staff debated several good questions. It was great to see such engagement amongst people that are working so very hard to cover the less-than-five-weeks of an election campaign that just might decide the final fate of Villa Hills.

Here are the highlights. mostly focusing around the four-way mayoral race:
  • Does former Covington Mayor Irvin Callery-who, according to the civic club ass clowns moved to Villa Hills to "straighten out" the embarrassed burg-understand how much people don't care a hoot in hell what he supposedly did in Covington all those years ago? Villa Hills incorporated as a city in 1962 because they did not want to become part of Covington, after all. Then there is that Former Covington Finance Director Bob Due's embezzlement of several hundred thousand dollars of taxpayer money under Irvin Callery's watch to contend with.
  • Does homegrown, former president of the Villa Hills Civic Club Ernie Brown -who risked his personal reputation recovering well more than $150,000  that other officers of that crazy club stole-realize that he doesn't need to in-any-way shy away from questions about the former leadership of the Villa Hills Police Department? Hell, reasonable people fully realize that current malevolent Mayor Mike Martin publicly-and expensively-screwed the former leadership of the local PD. Mr. Brown, take it head on. There is no more popular living person in Villa Hills than the screwed-by-Martin former Police Chief Dan Goodenough. All because Martin was pissed off about his judicially-justified FORGERY ARREST.
  • Does the mallet-headed malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin realize that reasonable people no longer believe anything he says? According to members of his own Finance Committee, the city's spending records are almost an irretrievable mess that will require great taxpayer-funded expense to fix. Plus, people in Prospect Point are now profoundly upset that the diminutive dictator described their community as "substandard" and the fact that his dishonest son-in-law Joe misrepresented himself as living in The Lofts-despite the fact that he doesn't even live in Villa Hills just so he could dishonestly do a "scouting report" for his law-breaking father-in-law.
  • Does also-ran mayoral candidate Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour realize that virtually everyone left the Prospect Point event before she spoke? Why? Because they know that vile ancient crocodile Mary Koenig persuaded Holly to commit political suicide just to get the moribund Martin reelected. What a joke. Holly, they even turned off your microphone because you were left talking to about seven people. By the way, a "garage sale" is the same damn thing as a "yard sale".
The election countdown clock in the foyer of The Martin Chronicles is winding down. Sure, we know we are pissing off the Martin Ghoul-Aid drinkers and the opinionated haters.

But, you know, we don't give a tinkers dam.