Cause We Baaaaaad, We City Wide

The Martin Chronicles readily admits that its happy to see non-controversial signs springing up around war-torn Villa Hills. For what? A City-wide yard sale that will be held September 6, 7 & 8.

What the heck? At least no one is being sued. The police department isn't being disbanded-yet. The mayor isn't being chastised by a judge or convicted on seven of nine counts of official misconduct and neglect of duty-again, yet. The Ethics Board isn't handing down any confidential reprimands. All in all, a nice change of pace.

We are even happy that the City is participating in the yard sale. We have secured a partial list of items that Martin has available for purchase during the yard sale.

• 1 (one) slightly-okay, severely-damaged safe.
• 1 (one) slightly used fire pit.
• 100 (one hundred) slightly singed file folders.
• 8 (eight) tins of Christmas cookies purchased the day after the City Tree Lighting in 2011.
• 4 (four) paper shredders.
• 3 (three) unused copies of Villa Hills' Book of Ordinances.
• 24 (twenty-four) skirts worn in the City's 50th anniversary skirt game.
• 1 (one) autographed copy of the missing reprimand given to the formerly interim City Clerk.
• 1 (one) unused copy of handbook detailing State-mandated ethics guidelines.
• 1 (one) unused copy of handbook detailing State-mandated Open Records guidelines.
• 1 (one) unused copy of handbook detailing State-mandated Open Meetings guidelines.
• 1 (one) copy of the RFP outlining the wasteful expense approved by the malfeasant Martin for pouring more than 15,000 taxpayer dollars in to the little-used Harry Rigney Park that abuts the property of Councilmembers Koenig and Menninger-Isenhour.
• 1 (one) unenforced contract for bookkeeping services.
• 1 (one) breached contract for building and zoning services.
• 9 (nine) used chairs from the City Council chambers.
• 58 (fifty-eight) "recovered" "Keep OUR Villa Hills Police Department" signs, frames included.
• 27 (twenty-seven) "recovered" "Mayor Martin, Please Resign NOW" signs, frames included.
• 7 (seven) unused gallons of paint from Mary Koenig's most recent decoration of Council chambers.
• 5 (five) computers. Hard drives erased.

Maybe the best item of all?

• 1 (one) house located at 720 Rogers Road. Formerly known as "The City Building". No reasonable offer refused.

Suspected Items?

• Several police cruisers. Heavy city mileage. Must move.

We suggest you make the City Building one of your first stops during the yard sale. Why? Because sources tell us that the Museum of Government Corruption intends to by as many of these items as possible.

If ya snooze, ya lose. Kinda like in the 2010 election.