The Martin Chronicles loves to get the scoops. Our publisher wishes we could get them all. But when you have newshounds like Vince Carvelli also on the prowl we can't be expected to bat a thousand! Besides, we really like Vince.
So what has Vince uncovered? Well, he caught Villa Hills Mayor (and flagrant miscreant) Mike Martin and his $47.50 per hour, crony-hire, clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber in yet another scam. (You know. Cordelia? The wife of Martin's co-defendant in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit? Dale? The hillbilly moron who went door-to-door passing out Martin's dirtbag literature? The pinhead who was stupid enought to write "it is a fact" when it was a total lie in a letter to the Voice of Villa Hills? The guy being represented by the one-armed attorney? Yeah, that guy. Yeah, Cordelia. Now you have it!)
As we have reported, Cordelia Schaber took it upon herself to take to the podium at the July council meeting. Her disgraceful and dishonest performance was a reminder of what a joke she was on city council. The highlight of her hillbilly harangue was when she twice said she had resigned from her $47.50 per hour, crony-hire, clerk/bookkeeper position back in November. Yes, eight months ago.
So how is it that Vince tracked down Villa Hills' check numbers 14988, 15105, 15141, 15188 and 15236 paid to, yes, Cordelia Schaber . . . for, yes, accounting services . . . after November???? Gee, that seems a little strange, doesn't it?
Yeah, we know how these skunks work. Martin will say that he has been trying to find a replacement for Cordelia since November and that she has been just so nice to help until that replacement is located. But that will be total BULL(EXPLETIVE). It wouldn't take eight months to find a replacement for someone as talentless as Cordelia Schaber. In fact, this time Martin could actually find someone qualified to do the work. Wouldn't that be nice for a change?
Our young intern was flummoxed, asking "How can Martin and Schaber tell such obvious lies that are so easily caught?" Our publisher sat down with the perky cub reporter to explain the sordid ways of the world.
"You see, Martin is the classic con artist. Martin has survived all of these years by perpetually lying", explained our patient publisher. "He always gambles that people will accept his first lie at face value and move on. He goes to Haiti, after all. He counts on people being too busy-or too lazy-to ever confirm what he says. For the most part, Martin's gamble has paid off."
That was before Vince Carvelli and,yes, The Martin Chronicles took on the case.
