The Martin Chronicles continues to get a chuckle everytime we re-read Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin's mendacious Unahandyman Manifesto. A real piece of work by a real piece of (EXPLETIVE) - or perhaps some slightly more literate piece of (EXPLETIVE) ghost writer.
The Unahandyman Manifesto is a treasure trove of Martin's pathetic self-pity. He has "endured and overcome tremendous obstacles"? Is that a fact? You don't say? We guess in a twisted way it is quite a challenge to totally (EXPLETIVE) up a City that was rated the best in Northern Kentucky in a little more than seventeen dreadful months.
The Martin Chronicles has a few questions for the peaceniks, the hand-wringers, the sanctimonious-holier-than-thou members of the St. Joe's Heavy Drinking Men's Society, the Liberty Leaguers, the Tea Partiers, the home schoolers, the holy rollers, the yard sign stealers, the cat-haters, the embittered old tree huggers, the "Jeeves, be a good man and pull the Bentley around" raised pinky Chablis and Brie set, the disgraced former Ethics Board chairman, the grizzled old clueless cranks, MARY HARDMAN, and our favorite nitwits and ne'er-do-wells from that clip joint known as the Villa Hills Civic Club. Especially General Zod, Tony, Timmy, Tammy, Eddie, Teddy, Freddie, Leo, Larry, Lefty, Lucky, Bennie, Barney, Barry, Bobby, Billy, Denny, Donnie, Danny, Dale, Dick, Dee Dee, Gary, Gomez, Fang, Curtis, Courtis, Kurt, Chuck, Charly, Charley, Charlie, Charles, Joe, Joey, Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo, Jamie, James, J.J., Slip, Whitey, Chuck, Split Rail, Sabre Tooth, Swamp Rat and Scratchy the Wonder Chimp.
First, the set-up. For all of the past seventeen months The City of Villa Hills has been down two budgeted-for, full-time employees (the City Clerk and a police officer). For eight of the past seventeen months Villa Hills has been down a third budgeted-for, full-time employee (the seventh police officer). Additionally, Martin claims to have saved $15,000 by firing the City's accountant. Wait, there is more. Martin also claims he "found" $30,000. Here's your bonus-Martin claims his $47.50 per hour, crony-hire, clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber "found" yet another $30,000.
We know some of you may be a little shaky at math. Especially you Civic Club pinheads who somehow missed the fact that hundreds of thousands of dollars were being embezzled from your little lodge. So, we'll add it up for you.
Annual cost of two full-time employees (including benefits and retirement): $130,000
Eight months of one full-time employee: $43,000
Savings resulting from firing accountant: $15,000
The money Martin claims to have found: $30,000
The money Martin claims Cordelia Schaber found: $30,000
That adds up to: $248,000
If you have been reading the Martin Chronicles for any length of time, you also know that Martin has been desperately trying to save his wife's house(?) by coercing the council into passing a $125,000 amendment to cover a $125,000 budget shortfall.
So, it appears that, by Martin's very own version of events, there has been a negative budget swing of at least $373,000!!!!
Now, here is the first question -
What the (EXPLETIVE) did Martin do with all of your taxpayer dollars?
What say you?
