The Martin Chronicles would like to think that a council meeting right before Christmas might be cause for a temporary cease-fire between the Martin Gang and, well, everybody else. Unfortunately, that isn’t likely to happen. Instead, we expect more pathological lie-telling, blame-laying, excuse-making, chest-beating and all manner of embarrassing behavior by Martin and his motley crew of venal back-stabbers. For that reason alone you should watch tomorrow night's council meeting.
There will be an executive session for a report from the Special Counsel on the progress of his investigation, so that the only person outside the session who will know what was discussed is “Dr. Martinstein”, being fed all the sordid details by Councilman Fritz Pope.
Oh, and we’ll probably get to hear a lecture by a councilman about why it isn’t a good idea to shoot a deer in your backyard despite the fact that 99.8% of the people have already figured that out.
So what will the fallout from the December 21st, pre-Christmas meeting be?
· Of course the raised-pinky drinking, Chablis and brie crowd will feign a civic-minded level of disgust about all the “bickering”, wonder why council doesn’t go forward with mediation and then ask Jeeves to bring them a snifter of Brandy.
· An outgoing Ethics Board Chairman will once again whine about the councils’ “mob mentality”, wonder why the council doesn’t go forward with mediation and then smoke a cigar and throw back a Keystone Light or ten at the Civic Club.
· The Occupy the Bar at the Civic Club (OBCC) sots will claim the meeting provided further evidence that “the city wants to take over the civic club” and then ask what “moving forward with mediation” means.
· The tri-cornered hat-wearing, Tea-Partying, Liberty-Leaguing, government-hating pinheads will say the only way to solve the problem is to vote to return Villa Hills to unincorporated Kenton County, the way “the Founders” intended and say that the US Constitution contains no provision for “moving forward with mediation”.
· Councilman Fritz Pope will launch e-mail attacks against all enemies, real and perceived, for daring to question the “broad powers” of CEO Mike Martinstein and then hope that council moves forward with mediation as a first step towards unconditional surrender.
· The St. Joe’s Heavy-Drinking Men’s Society will make a request to do a fundraiser at Martin’s impeachment hearings, selling draft beer and pizza by the slice. They will also take a “pro-moving forward with mediation” position.
· The folks who don’t pay their license fee will demand that Martin live up to his campaign promise to repeal the license fee before he is imprisoned for tax evasion. Or at least expect Martin to create a provision to mediate their refusal to pay the dreaded $40 per car sticker tax before he leaves in an orange jumpsuit.
· The folks who do pay their license fee will ask that the people who don’t pay their license fee also be imprisoned for tax evasion with no provision for mediation.
Yup, it should be quite a night. You should tune in tomorrow night as part of your own move towards mediation.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a heavily mediated or perhaps, medicated good night!
