DISCLAIMER: The Martin Chronicles loves the Christmas season. We believe it is a time to commemorate the birth of The Savior and to enjoy the company of family and friends. We are simply reporting events as they have been recounted to us.
Now-
With all due respect to the hilarious, gremlin-like character “Mayhem” from the Allstate commercials, it appears he may have been hired as the chief consultant for the recent Villa Hills’ tree lighting ceremony. To describe what took place at the tree-lighting as a fiasco is a disservice to some very fine fiascos throughout history.
It’s always a good idea to invite two school choirs and all of their families to a tree-lighting ceremony and yet be woefully ill-prepared to handle them. The Martin Chronicles has received several reports from attendees that Mayor Martin expressed inexplicable surprise by the turnout of approximately 100 people. This despite the fact that there has been a crowd of roughly that same size for the past several years.
Martin feebly attempted to get the attendees out of the bitter cold. But only about 40 of the 100 were able to squeeze in to the council chambers. The rest were left to fend for themselves and quickly left in disgust. The lucky ones who made it inside fought over a few tins of unopened cookies, dealt with the odd fact that there was nothing to drink and carped about the disorganized nature of the event.
Several people recounted the comments they heard. “Man, I’m freezing my (EXPLETIVE) off!” and “Why the (EXPLETIVE) wasn’t this held indoors?” and “How do you (EXPLETIVE) up a tree lighting ceremony?!?” "Did you see (EXPLETIVE) Santa Claus? I didn't see him!"
The second best comment that was reported? “I know they call this guy MarTAX. But I think we need to start calling him MarGRINCH!”
The very best comment? “How does a guy who used to be a Keebler elf not know how to organize a Christmas event?!?”
Had Mayor Martin been one of the ghosts who visited Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol’s Ebenezer Scrooge, the old codger would still be pinching every tuppence and making Bob Cractchit fight the bitter cold at his drafty work space with just one lump of coal!
God Bless Us, Everyone.
