Monday, November 24, 2014

Martin Isn't Going Away

The Martin Chronicles has heard from our sources at now-outgoing Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's favorite watering hole. These sources tell us that the malevolent Martin was recently holding court, entertaining his vastly depleted ranks of supporters.

Martin began his usual routine of tossing back beer after beer after beer and then launching into his litany of "F-him, F-her, F-us, F-them, F-you, F-that, F-this, F-me, F-everybody". No surprises there. Those antics happen all the time.

But then our sources tell us it got very interesting. Martin went on to tell his shrinking supporters that he "has Koenig and Vaden in his hip pocket". He assured the assembled asses that Koenig and Vaden will "stop everything Callery and those other assholes on council try to do". Then Martin assured them that he would be elected to city council again in two years "to start turning the city around again". Alrighty then.

If Martin was honest when he claimed to "love Villa Hills" more than four years ago, he would simply get on with his life. But Martin isn't honest. Martin doesn't have integrity. Martin can't accept the fact that his last four years have been a massive, embarrassing, dreadful failure.

Some might conclude that Martin's beer-boosted, bogus bravado was just the alcohol-fueled ramblings of a soon-to-be-deposed despot. After all, even if Koenig and Vaden were truly following Martin's marching orders (and we can't know that, at least not yet), they only represent two votes on a six member city council.

Others might believe that even the mallet-headed Martin has to see the handwriting on the electoral wall. He was embarrassingly crushed 84%-16% just three weeks ago. How much worse would his devastating defeat have to be for the tiny tyrant to finally realize that the vast majority of residents have had more than enough of his chicanery, right?

There are also those who realize that Martin will already have his hands full dealing with the many personal legal issues that are about to be dropped on his head. These folks understand that Martin will soon be provided the opportunity to explain his many misdeeds over the past four years.

Martin's under-oath answers could very well cost him a staggering fortune. Remember, the Kentucky League of Cities has already advised Martin that they are "out" and that the diminutive dictator is holding a very bad hand. Martin has to be going away for good, correct?

Despite Martin's many looming, personal problems, he would enjoy nothing more than causing problems for Mayor-elect Callery and the incoming council. They are his evil enemies, remember? That is who Martin is and will be forevermore.

So, The Martin Chronicles isn't falling for it. We have studied Martin very intently over the past several years. It almost worries us that we understand what makes Martin tick so well.

The Martin Chronicles knows that Martin is driven by his delusions of grandeur. We know that Martin has a messianic complex-convinced that only he knows what is best for anyone who has the misfortune of entering his off-kilter orbit. We know that Martin is a raging paranoid who firmly believes that anyone who opposes him is an enemy who must be totally destroyed.

Yes, Martin was annihilated on November 4. Election Day was an absolute repudiation of Martin and everything he stands for. But, he doesn't understand that. Martin just isn't capable of doing the right thing. Martin has already used his crazy calculus to rationalize everything that happened just three weeks ago. You know, "If only this, if only that. The voters were just too stupid to understand all the great things I did for them. I'll show them." Nutty? You bet. But that's Martin.

That is exactly why The Martin Chronicles isn't going anywhere.