BREAKING NEWS: Why Do That?

The Martin Chronicles has just learned that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's unlicensed handyman business is doing work at a home on Riggs Avenue in Erlanger. Seemingly no big deal. Except that the home belongs to Villa Hills City Administrator/City Clerk Craigory Bohman.

Why do that? The people who contacted us are convinced that Bohman gave the misdirecting Martin the handyman job as some form of illicit payback for the taxpayer-funded 50% pay increase Martin gave Bohman a few months ago.

We aren't prepared to say that. But we are prepared to say that the arrangement is incredibly stupid. We know Martin is dumber than a brick. But we thought Craigory had at least a little more sense.

Why open yourself to even more suspicion? People already realize that Martin is devoid of integrity and incapable of telling the truth. But Bohman is looking everywhere for a new job.

Why risk getting tainted by Martin?

It's Not How MUCH You Spend...

The Martin Chronicles has already exploded Martin's misdirecting campaign myth that the current budget-passed over the tiny tyrant's objections in June-spends $60,000 less than the budget he inherited in 2011. But let's ignore the proven fact that Martin is LYING about that.

Instead, let's do what the mendacious Martin himself would do. Let's totally ignore the truth and do something absolutely crazy. Let's take the little liar at his word.

Here's the REAL issue. It's not how much taxpayer money you spend. Instead, it's how you spend the taxpayers' money that is important. When you measure it the correct way, Martin is completely mismanaging the taxpayers money.

Martin is not spending taxpayer money on a properly staffed and equipped police department. Instead, Martin is wasting hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on lawyers and lawsuits to press his vendetta on the local police department's leadership.

Martin is not spending money adequately funding a real street repair and replacement program. Instead, Martin is-according to public statements of city councilmembers-wasting hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on the -by Martin's own admission-inadequate services of the Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission.

Martin has spent somewhere in the ugly neighborhood of one half million taxpayer dollars on lawyers and legal actions. Instead of sitting down like a rational adult with former Police Chief to discuss an amicable-and far less costly to the taxpayers-path to parting ways, Martin chose to waste well over one hundred thousand taxpayer dollars to push out Goodenough at the end of an unnecessary, ugly, public spectacle.

Martin has spent more than one hundred thousand taxpayer dollars to a crony-hire, bucket-headed bookkeeper who has completely fouled-up the city's financial records.

Martin has spent more than twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars signing a purchase order that cut a check that went right in to the diminutive dictator's pocket.

Martin has spent more than twelve thousand taxpayer dollars on playground equipment in a park almost no one ever uses.

So, it's not how MUCH taxpayer money Martin spends. It's HOW Martin spends taxpayer money that matters. Using that correct measurement, Martin has been an intentional disaster for the taxpayers.

Villa Hills can choose a mayor and council who will make the right spending choices in just 88 days.

A Sneak Peek

The Martin Chronicles has talked to several "snitches" inside Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's upcoming re-election campaign. These turncoats have been overtaken by a severe case of "conscience" and have given us an advance look at the public campaign the mendacious Martin is planning.

As one of the insiders put it, "If I wouldn't be running the risk of getting sued by Burger King, I'd personally put a neon sign over the City Building door that reads "HOME OF THE WHOPPER'. Sure, it comes as no surprise that Martin plans to lie. But it is still useful to get a preview of Martin's lies.

We've also talked to dozens of people-in-the-know who can put true perspective on Martin's upcoming deception. Yes, friends, The Martin Chronicles has done its homework once again.

Let's take a look at the preview we have been provided:

• Martin is going to crow about the undeniable fact that Villa Hills has deservedly been voted the best community in Northern Kentucky by the obscure publication Cincy Business Magazine.
• What Martin won't say is that the primary reason Villa Hills received that recognition is its proximity to Downtown Cincinnati and CVG. Why? Because even the dishonest Martin wouldn't dare try to take credit for that.
• Martin will claim that he is some kind of budget hawk because the recent city budget is allegedly $60,000 less than the budget he inherited in 2011.
• What Martin will never say is that the 2010 city council approved taking nearly $200,000 out of the city's cash reserves to fund much-needed, major street repairs. Why is that important? Because that fact clearly proves Martin's current budget is actually almost $150,000 dollars MORE than the budget the diminutive dictator inherited in 2011. Martin will also avoid mentioning that not only did he walk away from his solemn 2010 pledge to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX-he also increased the SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY ALMOST FIFTY PERCENT.
• Martin will claim that his "courageous" decision to hire the Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission (NKAPC) to do building inspection work put people in place who are trained to do such work.
• What Martin will desperately avoid saying is that-according to public statements made by current councilmembers-the taxpayers are being walloped for MORE THAN TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR FOR THE NKAPC SERVICES. Martin will also tap dance around the fact that he has had to hire a "nuisance officer" to fill in the gaps created by the building inspection work of the NKAPC.
• Martin will make the incredibly dishonest claim that he has increased the size of the Villa Hills Police Department by fifty percent.
• What Martin will run away from like a scalded cat is that he is counting bodies, not hours covered. Sure, if you have a bunch of part-timers, you have more bodies. But you still don't have more hours. Its an undeniable fact that Martin has decimated the local police department. Another undeniable fact is that the decimation occurred because Martin wanted revenge for his 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

So, these are the terrible lies Martin plans to tell in a desperate attempt to cling to the power of the mayor's office. No surprises here. Why?

Because Martin is a very accomplished liar.

One Week And Counting

The Martin Chronicles is watching and waiting. But we don't have to wait much longer. The filing deadline to stand as a candidate for election to either mayor or city council in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills is just one week away.

The entire field will be set at 4pm, Tuesday, August 12. Unless of course someone decides to pull a "Mike Pope" and run as a write-in candidate. That is certainly possible. Especially in Villa Hills.

We are well prepared to provide in-depth analysis and mudsling-by-mudsling reports on the upcoming Villa Hills' campaign. The more candidates the merrier and the wackier those candidates the better.

We'll know soon enough.

Has Martin Pulled Another Fast One?

The Martin Chronicles has been contacted by several well-placed legal observers who suspect Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has pulled another con job on his current city council. The subject? The recent budget unanimously passed by council that pushed back the mismanaging Martin's effort to pass what the tiny tyrant described as a "bottom line" budget. Why? Martin wanted completely unfettered authority to spend more than 3 million taxpayer dollars in any way the diminutive dictator chose.

Given the misspending Martin's penchant to waste hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on lawyers and legal actions, city council was correct to insist on retaining its right of oversight over the budget. But, these well-placed legal observers think Martin may have sidestepped city council's vote anyway.

How? Well, Kentucky law requires each governmental entity to publish the budget in what is described as the newspaper of record. It is taxpayer money being collected and spent, after all.

So, what has Martin done to "satisfy" that Kentucky law? He has published a "bottom line" budget. That presents a potential problem for the taxpayers.

The expert legal observers who contacted us tell us that the published budget is considered the document that legally binds a government entity's collection and disbursement of taxpayer dollars. Any other documents outlining the expenditures of each department are really nothing more than scraps of paper-if they are not published.

Yeah, yeah, yeah we know how the mendacious Martin will explain his decision to publish only a "bottom line" budget. He'll claim he did it to save taxpayer money. He'll claim it would be far too expensive to pay to publish the entire budget. What will we say to that explanation? Blah, blah, blah.

Why will we hold that explanation is such contempt? Because quite simply, it will be total bu!!$#it.

Despite his wild claim that he runs a "tight ship", Martin has a well-documented track record of profligate waste of taxpayer money:

• Martin has misused nearly a half a million taxpayer dollars on ridiculous waste on lawyers and legal actions.
• Martin has mishandled the taxpayers money that he has wasted several hundred thousand taxpayer dollars amending his budgets every single year.
• Martin has squandered roughly three hundred thousand dollars wasted on unnecessary employee overtime expenses.
• Some on council have publically announced that Martin is spending more than two hundred thousand taxpayer dollars a year to hire the Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission to provide building and zoning services. Despite this wasteful move, Martin has also had to hire a "nuisance officer" to fill gaps in enforcement.
• Martin pushed forward his vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department by paying former Chief Dan Goodenough one hundred and twenty thousand taxpayer dollars to retire. This only after Martin wasted tens of thousands of dollars in lawyers and legal fees in his vicious attempt to publicly embarrass Goodenough in March of this year.
• Martin inexplicably signed a purchase order that put twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars in his own pocket.
• Martin frittered away more than twelve thousand taxpayer dollars purchasing playground equipment for a park that almost nobody uses.

No, Martin has once again shown complete contempt for the city council who is legally tasked with oversight of the city budget. The miniature mullah published a "bottom line" budget so that he can spend taxpayer money any way he wants to.

Yes, council can still question Martin's spending. But that will accomplish absolutely nothing. Why? Because Martin will simply rely on the game of "keep-a-way" he has used to fend off council budget questions since January 1, 2011.

How will it go yet again?:

• Someone on city council will question a particular expenditure at a public council meeting.
• Martin will tell that councilperson that he isn't quite sure, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. The little liar will then advise that councilperson to should check with his FORTY-SEVEN TAXPAYER DOLLAR PER HOUR UNQUALIFIED BOOKEEPER, Cordelia Schaber about the expenditure.  
• That councilperson will contact the bucket-headed bookkeeper, Cordelia Schaber. Schaber will tell that councilperson that she cay-uhn't answer their question. She will tell that councilperson that they have to speak directly to Martin.
• That councilperson will be totally unable to reach the evasive Martin. He is terribly busy running his unlicensed handyman business, after all.
• That councilperson will re-contact the shiftless Schaber, only to be rudely told, "Ahh told yee-ou thayat yee-ou have to ayask Mayor Martin about thayat."
• That councilperson will re-ask Martin the same question at the next council meeting. Martin will once again say that he isn't quite sure, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. The little liar will tell that councilperson that he will check with his FORTY-SEVEN TAXPAYER DOLLAR PER HOUR UNQUALIFIED BOOKKEEPER, Cordelia Schaber himself about the expenditure. Martin will promise to provide the answer at the next council meeting.
• When that councilperson asks the same question at the third council meeting, Martin will claim that he has just been so busy that he didn't find time to get the answer. Martin will then promise to get the answer before the fourth council meeting.
• No answer will ever come. And so it goes.

There is an opportunity to put an end to all of this ridiculous waste. There is opportunity to put an end to Martin's abject waste of taxpayer money and his continual lies about that waste.

That opportunity comes in just 91 days.

WEEKENDER II: The Aftermath Of Martin's Mindless Mayhem

The Martin Chronicles sometimes feels like Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's
embarrassing Reign of Error has lasted for a dreadful decade. And yet, it has only been about 1,310 days of tumult, chaos, uncertainty, unrest, corruption, calumny, deception, dishonesty and defamation.

We remember talking to several sources before we even launched The Martin Chronicles blog back on October 8, 2011. Martin had been mismanaging the City for a mere 280 days at that point. These sources laughingly described how the mallet-headed Martin spent nearly every evening with the ass clowns at the civic club whining that his predecessor "didn't even leave him a paper clip or pack of Post-It Notes.

The little liar even carped that there were "no files in the City Building". Of course we soon learned that was just another Martin lie. How? Martin was caught red-handed holding a highly illegal "records barbecue", destroying evidence that had been compiled in lawsuits filed against him that pre-dated his ascension to "the throne".  

But no matter what he may or may not have inherited, it's what Martin is going to bequeath to his successor that is the colossal problem. Operating under the tenuous assumption that Martin is defeated on November 4, let's explore what will then be a lousy legacy.

What would a defeated Martin leave behind?:

• Martin would leave behind his lawsuit-happy personal attorney who is now serving as the City Attorney. The awful arrangement Martin made-and the current council approved-presents a potentially explosive-and potentially very costly to the taxpayers-dilemma.
• Martin would leave behind his curious City Administrator/Clerk-assuming the man doesn't land one of the many jobs for which he's been interviewing. Clearly, the current City Administrator/Clerk could not be trusted to be loyal to a new mayor.
• Martin would leave behind City financial records that are in abject disarray. Sources inside the finance committee have made it abundantly clear that an outside firm needs to come in-at great expense to the taxpayers-to sort out the tangled mess Martin and his crony-hire, $47.50 per hour, grossly unqualified bookkeeper have more-or-less intentionally created.
• Martin would leave behind an under-manned, poorly equipped police department that has taken a shameless beating for nearly four dreadful years. Yes, the remaining professionals continue to do the best job possible. But, the local police department is desperately in need of major refit and repair.
• Martin would leave behind a dormant street repair and replacement program. Sure, Martin walked away from his solemn pledge to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX and convince his new council to INCREASE THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY ABOUT FIFTY PERCENT for the supposed purpose of dealing with Villa Hills decaying streets. Yet almost no repair or replacement has been done for Martin's entire term.
• Martin would leave behind several serious lawsuits that his reckless behavior needlessly provoked. Even if the moribund Martin is defeated in November, it's unlikely that any of these lawsuits will go away without great cost to the taxpayers.

But it will be even worse than that. Why? Because a defeated Martin will not do the right thing and simply go away. What will the then-former diminutive dictator do? Why, he'll pimp any new councilmember who will listen, filling their heads with lie after lie after lie after lie after lie.

And why would the then-former tiny tyrant do that? He will do it in the twisted hope that those councilmembers will cause public problems for the next mayor. For the malevolent Martin, the more turmoil the better.

How do we know this? Because our sources tell us that is exactly what the mean-spirited Martin did after he was defeated in his bid to be re-elected to city council in 2008.

Martin spent countless hours filling the empty head of former Councilman Mike Pope with endless lies designed to stir up twisted trouble. The future miniature mullah also spent his time convincing the simple-minded civic club ass clowns that he was a victim of some non-existent conspiracy authored by non-existent "dark forces". Hey, it worked by the narrowest of margins.

Besides, what damage would a defeated Martin do between the evening of November 4 and midnight on December 31, 2014? Someone as vindictive as the malicious Martin has proven himself quite capable of doing incredible harm-despite what his handful of half-wit defenders profess from podiums and on the social networks.

We hope a new mayor has broad enough shoulders to deal with the mess that Martin leaves behind. We also hope a new mayor has the support of a new council and the residents. Because that mess is going to be immense.

We'll know in barely more than three months.

WEEKENDER: We Are Still Waiting

The Martin Chronicles-through constant contact with our deep cover sources-continues to monitor the candidate filings at the Kenton County Courthouse. Our intention is to keep our readers fully informed about those seeking election to mayor and city council in current malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. Those elected will begin their terms of office on January 1, 2015.  

To date, we have reported two candidates for mayor (long-time resident Ernie Brown and short-time resident Irvin Callery) and one candidate for city council (the mysterious Brian R. Wischer). The filing deadline is only about eleven days away. Villa Hills is a town desperately in need of some competent, honest leadership. So why have so few of its nearly 8,000 residents stepped up, offering to help?

Perhaps it's because of the town's toxic atmosphere-that has been created by the little liar, Mike Martin. You see, even Martin most likely realizes just how unintelligent he is. Because of his low IQ, Martin desperately avoids debating any serious issues. Instead, he relies on defaming anyone he considers an "enemy". Martin's tactics have been both disgusting and destructive. No wonder most people want no part of it.  

Many people say, "Who wants to be part of that mess?" We understand the concern. But, we think it misses the point. Why? Because if the incompetent and corrupt Martin wasn't seated in the mayor's office, it most likely wouldn't be a "mess".

People reflexively tossed out the previous city council in November, 2012. They crossed their fingers and hoped against hope that six new people could figure out a way to work with the mindless Martin and stop the embarrassment. But that hasn't happened. Things are still a mess. Why? Because Martin is still there.

What has happened since Martin was surrounded by six new faces in 2012?:

• Martin signed a purchase order that put more that twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars in his pocket.
• Martin hired his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry to rack up taxpayer-funded bills approaching five hundred thousand dollars.
• Martin hired Craigory T. Bohman to serve as City Clerk-and then gave him a FIFTY PERCENT TAXPAYER-FUNDED PAY INCREASE TO SERVE AS CITY ADMINISTRATOR-to flesh out his goon squad.
• Martin used the bogus testimony of Toad V. McMurtry and Craigory T. Bohman to force out the local police department's Assistant Police Chief.
• Martin spent a TAXPAYER-FUNDED FORTUNE to hire the Northern Kentucky Area Planning and Zoning Commission to do building inspection work, only to have to hire a "nuisance officer" to fill the gaps that were left.
• Martin pushed a FIFTY PER CENT INCREASE IN THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX through his new council for road repair, only to do NO MORE ROAD REPAIR.
• Martin tried to wrest away any oversight ability from city council by proposing a THREE MILLION DOLLAR TAXPAYER-FUNDED "BOTTOM-LINE" BUDGET that the diminutive dictator could spend any way he chose. Martin went so far as to lie that "48 of the previous 52 city budgets were "bottom line" budgets when the reality is that such a gross power grab has never happened before.
• The worst of the worst? Martin told reporters that former police chief Dan Goodenough was just "taking a few days off" after Martin, Toad V. McMurtry and Craigory T, Bohman fully planned to falsely drag an undeserving Goodenough's name through the mud in a public spectacle designed to gain revenge for Martin's JUDICIALLY-JUSTIFIED 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

All of it has been total bu!!$h!t. That is why Martin needs to go. That is why other residents need to step up to fix this terrible Martin-made mess.

There are only eleven days to go until the filing deadline.