Has Martin Pulled Another Fast One?

The Martin Chronicles has been contacted by several well-placed legal observers who suspect Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has pulled another con job on his current city council. The subject? The recent budget unanimously passed by council that pushed back the mismanaging Martin's effort to pass what the tiny tyrant described as a "bottom line" budget. Why? Martin wanted completely unfettered authority to spend more than 3 million taxpayer dollars in any way the diminutive dictator chose.

Given the misspending Martin's penchant to waste hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on lawyers and legal actions, city council was correct to insist on retaining its right of oversight over the budget. But, these well-placed legal observers think Martin may have sidestepped city council's vote anyway.

How? Well, Kentucky law requires each governmental entity to publish the budget in what is described as the newspaper of record. It is taxpayer money being collected and spent, after all.

So, what has Martin done to "satisfy" that Kentucky law? He has published a "bottom line" budget. That presents a potential problem for the taxpayers.

The expert legal observers who contacted us tell us that the published budget is considered the document that legally binds a government entity's collection and disbursement of taxpayer dollars. Any other documents outlining the expenditures of each department are really nothing more than scraps of paper-if they are not published.

Yeah, yeah, yeah we know how the mendacious Martin will explain his decision to publish only a "bottom line" budget. He'll claim he did it to save taxpayer money. He'll claim it would be far too expensive to pay to publish the entire budget. What will we say to that explanation? Blah, blah, blah.

Why will we hold that explanation is such contempt? Because quite simply, it will be total bu!!$#it.

Despite his wild claim that he runs a "tight ship", Martin has a well-documented track record of profligate waste of taxpayer money:

• Martin has misused nearly a half a million taxpayer dollars on ridiculous waste on lawyers and legal actions.
• Martin has mishandled the taxpayers money that he has wasted several hundred thousand taxpayer dollars amending his budgets every single year.
• Martin has squandered roughly three hundred thousand dollars wasted on unnecessary employee overtime expenses.
• Some on council have publically announced that Martin is spending more than two hundred thousand taxpayer dollars a year to hire the Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission to provide building and zoning services. Despite this wasteful move, Martin has also had to hire a "nuisance officer" to fill gaps in enforcement.
• Martin pushed forward his vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department by paying former Chief Dan Goodenough one hundred and twenty thousand taxpayer dollars to retire. This only after Martin wasted tens of thousands of dollars in lawyers and legal fees in his vicious attempt to publicly embarrass Goodenough in March of this year.
• Martin inexplicably signed a purchase order that put twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars in his own pocket.
• Martin frittered away more than twelve thousand taxpayer dollars purchasing playground equipment for a park that almost nobody uses.

No, Martin has once again shown complete contempt for the city council who is legally tasked with oversight of the city budget. The miniature mullah published a "bottom line" budget so that he can spend taxpayer money any way he wants to.

Yes, council can still question Martin's spending. But that will accomplish absolutely nothing. Why? Because Martin will simply rely on the game of "keep-a-way" he has used to fend off council budget questions since January 1, 2011.

How will it go yet again?:

• Someone on city council will question a particular expenditure at a public council meeting.
• Martin will tell that councilperson that he isn't quite sure, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. The little liar will then advise that councilperson to should check with his FORTY-SEVEN TAXPAYER DOLLAR PER HOUR UNQUALIFIED BOOKEEPER, Cordelia Schaber about the expenditure.  
• That councilperson will contact the bucket-headed bookkeeper, Cordelia Schaber. Schaber will tell that councilperson that she cay-uhn't answer their question. She will tell that councilperson that they have to speak directly to Martin.
• That councilperson will be totally unable to reach the evasive Martin. He is terribly busy running his unlicensed handyman business, after all.
• That councilperson will re-contact the shiftless Schaber, only to be rudely told, "Ahh told yee-ou thayat yee-ou have to ayask Mayor Martin about thayat."
• That councilperson will re-ask Martin the same question at the next council meeting. Martin will once again say that he isn't quite sure, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. The little liar will tell that councilperson that he will check with his FORTY-SEVEN TAXPAYER DOLLAR PER HOUR UNQUALIFIED BOOKKEEPER, Cordelia Schaber himself about the expenditure. Martin will promise to provide the answer at the next council meeting.
• When that councilperson asks the same question at the third council meeting, Martin will claim that he has just been so busy that he didn't find time to get the answer. Martin will then promise to get the answer before the fourth council meeting.
• No answer will ever come. And so it goes.

There is an opportunity to put an end to all of this ridiculous waste. There is opportunity to put an end to Martin's abject waste of taxpayer money and his continual lies about that waste.

That opportunity comes in just 91 days.

WEEKENDER II: The Aftermath Of Martin's Mindless Mayhem

The Martin Chronicles sometimes feels like Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's
embarrassing Reign of Error has lasted for a dreadful decade. And yet, it has only been about 1,310 days of tumult, chaos, uncertainty, unrest, corruption, calumny, deception, dishonesty and defamation.

We remember talking to several sources before we even launched The Martin Chronicles blog back on October 8, 2011. Martin had been mismanaging the City for a mere 280 days at that point. These sources laughingly described how the mallet-headed Martin spent nearly every evening with the ass clowns at the civic club whining that his predecessor "didn't even leave him a paper clip or pack of Post-It Notes.

The little liar even carped that there were "no files in the City Building". Of course we soon learned that was just another Martin lie. How? Martin was caught red-handed holding a highly illegal "records barbecue", destroying evidence that had been compiled in lawsuits filed against him that pre-dated his ascension to "the throne".  

But no matter what he may or may not have inherited, it's what Martin is going to bequeath to his successor that is the colossal problem. Operating under the tenuous assumption that Martin is defeated on November 4, let's explore what will then be a lousy legacy.

What would a defeated Martin leave behind?:

• Martin would leave behind his lawsuit-happy personal attorney who is now serving as the City Attorney. The awful arrangement Martin made-and the current council approved-presents a potentially explosive-and potentially very costly to the taxpayers-dilemma.
• Martin would leave behind his curious City Administrator/Clerk-assuming the man doesn't land one of the many jobs for which he's been interviewing. Clearly, the current City Administrator/Clerk could not be trusted to be loyal to a new mayor.
• Martin would leave behind City financial records that are in abject disarray. Sources inside the finance committee have made it abundantly clear that an outside firm needs to come in-at great expense to the taxpayers-to sort out the tangled mess Martin and his crony-hire, $47.50 per hour, grossly unqualified bookkeeper have more-or-less intentionally created.
• Martin would leave behind an under-manned, poorly equipped police department that has taken a shameless beating for nearly four dreadful years. Yes, the remaining professionals continue to do the best job possible. But, the local police department is desperately in need of major refit and repair.
• Martin would leave behind a dormant street repair and replacement program. Sure, Martin walked away from his solemn pledge to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX and convince his new council to INCREASE THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY ABOUT FIFTY PERCENT for the supposed purpose of dealing with Villa Hills decaying streets. Yet almost no repair or replacement has been done for Martin's entire term.
• Martin would leave behind several serious lawsuits that his reckless behavior needlessly provoked. Even if the moribund Martin is defeated in November, it's unlikely that any of these lawsuits will go away without great cost to the taxpayers.

But it will be even worse than that. Why? Because a defeated Martin will not do the right thing and simply go away. What will the then-former diminutive dictator do? Why, he'll pimp any new councilmember who will listen, filling their heads with lie after lie after lie after lie after lie.

And why would the then-former tiny tyrant do that? He will do it in the twisted hope that those councilmembers will cause public problems for the next mayor. For the malevolent Martin, the more turmoil the better.

How do we know this? Because our sources tell us that is exactly what the mean-spirited Martin did after he was defeated in his bid to be re-elected to city council in 2008.

Martin spent countless hours filling the empty head of former Councilman Mike Pope with endless lies designed to stir up twisted trouble. The future miniature mullah also spent his time convincing the simple-minded civic club ass clowns that he was a victim of some non-existent conspiracy authored by non-existent "dark forces". Hey, it worked by the narrowest of margins.

Besides, what damage would a defeated Martin do between the evening of November 4 and midnight on December 31, 2014? Someone as vindictive as the malicious Martin has proven himself quite capable of doing incredible harm-despite what his handful of half-wit defenders profess from podiums and on the social networks.

We hope a new mayor has broad enough shoulders to deal with the mess that Martin leaves behind. We also hope a new mayor has the support of a new council and the residents. Because that mess is going to be immense.

We'll know in barely more than three months.

WEEKENDER: We Are Still Waiting

The Martin Chronicles-through constant contact with our deep cover sources-continues to monitor the candidate filings at the Kenton County Courthouse. Our intention is to keep our readers fully informed about those seeking election to mayor and city council in current malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. Those elected will begin their terms of office on January 1, 2015.  

To date, we have reported two candidates for mayor (long-time resident Ernie Brown and short-time resident Irvin Callery) and one candidate for city council (the mysterious Brian R. Wischer). The filing deadline is only about eleven days away. Villa Hills is a town desperately in need of some competent, honest leadership. So why have so few of its nearly 8,000 residents stepped up, offering to help?

Perhaps it's because of the town's toxic atmosphere-that has been created by the little liar, Mike Martin. You see, even Martin most likely realizes just how unintelligent he is. Because of his low IQ, Martin desperately avoids debating any serious issues. Instead, he relies on defaming anyone he considers an "enemy". Martin's tactics have been both disgusting and destructive. No wonder most people want no part of it.  

Many people say, "Who wants to be part of that mess?" We understand the concern. But, we think it misses the point. Why? Because if the incompetent and corrupt Martin wasn't seated in the mayor's office, it most likely wouldn't be a "mess".

People reflexively tossed out the previous city council in November, 2012. They crossed their fingers and hoped against hope that six new people could figure out a way to work with the mindless Martin and stop the embarrassment. But that hasn't happened. Things are still a mess. Why? Because Martin is still there.

What has happened since Martin was surrounded by six new faces in 2012?:

• Martin signed a purchase order that put more that twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars in his pocket.
• Martin hired his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry to rack up taxpayer-funded bills approaching five hundred thousand dollars.
• Martin hired Craigory T. Bohman to serve as City Clerk-and then gave him a FIFTY PERCENT TAXPAYER-FUNDED PAY INCREASE TO SERVE AS CITY ADMINISTRATOR-to flesh out his goon squad.
• Martin used the bogus testimony of Toad V. McMurtry and Craigory T. Bohman to force out the local police department's Assistant Police Chief.
• Martin spent a TAXPAYER-FUNDED FORTUNE to hire the Northern Kentucky Area Planning and Zoning Commission to do building inspection work, only to have to hire a "nuisance officer" to fill the gaps that were left.
• Martin pushed a FIFTY PER CENT INCREASE IN THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX through his new council for road repair, only to do NO MORE ROAD REPAIR.
• Martin tried to wrest away any oversight ability from city council by proposing a THREE MILLION DOLLAR TAXPAYER-FUNDED "BOTTOM-LINE" BUDGET that the diminutive dictator could spend any way he chose. Martin went so far as to lie that "48 of the previous 52 city budgets were "bottom line" budgets when the reality is that such a gross power grab has never happened before.
• The worst of the worst? Martin told reporters that former police chief Dan Goodenough was just "taking a few days off" after Martin, Toad V. McMurtry and Craigory T, Bohman fully planned to falsely drag an undeserving Goodenough's name through the mud in a public spectacle designed to gain revenge for Martin's JUDICIALLY-JUSTIFIED 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

All of it has been total bu!!$h!t. That is why Martin needs to go. That is why other residents need to step up to fix this terrible Martin-made mess.

There are only eleven days to go until the filing deadline.

Wischer Files For Re-Election

The Martin Chronicles has kept in close contact with its Kenton County Courthouse sources. Why? To keep up-to-date on the mayor and council candidate filings to stand for election this November in current malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embarrassed burg of Villa Hills.

We have already told you that long-time Villa Hills resident Ernie Brown and former Covington Mayor Irvin Callery have filed to challenge the mallet-headed Martin for the keys to the mayor's office. To date, Martin has not returned calls from the media who are inquiring whether or not the little liar plans to stand for re-election. Don't worry. Our deep-cover sources continue to tell us that Martin-with assistance from some of the leadership of the asshats at the civic club-has every intention to sling a mountain of mud in his attempt to earn another undeserved four years in power.

We have already learned that the first council candidate has now filed his papers. Who is it? None other than current Councilman Brian R. Wischer. Wischer has had an outstanding first term on Villa Hills City Council. His top achievements include, uh . . . well. . . er . . . ahh . . . umm . . . okay, we need to give that some thought.

Hey, wait a minute, Wischer has served as the chairperson of the Villa Hills Administration Committee. You know, the Administration Committee that has done, uh . . . well . . . we . .. ahh . . . umm . . . okay, we need to give that some thought too.

We admit it. We don't know much about Brian R. Wischer. But what we do know troubles us. Despite his media quote that he "likes the idea of knowing each Villa Hills Police Officer by name", he has been an ardent supporter and guaranteed "yes" vote for the malevolent Martin in the tiny tyrant's well-documented vendetta against the police.

We also know that Wischer had a close relative-you know, like perhaps a sister who works as a paralegal-assist Martin in constructing an infamous Municipal Order. You remember, don't you? The Municipal Order Martin signed in January, 2013. The one Martin signed after the voters gave him his mostly-supplicant "golden moment" council? The one that gave Martin the power to even bring in the FBI to harass the local police department's leadership. Yeah, that one. We knew you'd remember.  

We also decided to "Google" Wischer to put some meat on the bare bones of his biography. So what did we find? Well, we found that somebody named Brian R. Wischer was arrested in Kenton County on eleven counts-of mostly drug-related crimes-in 1997.

Well, don't that beat all? We don't know if the Brian R. Wischer arrested in Kenton Count on eleven counts-of mostly drug-related crimes-in 1997 is the same Brian R. Wischer who is running for re-election to Villa Hills City Council. You know Villa Hills. That little town that happens to be in, uh . . . well . . . er . . . ahh . . . um . . . okay, KENTON COUNTY.

But what if it is the same Brian R. Wischer? Let us tell you why that presents a major revelation about the hypocrisy of the current, malfeasant Villa Hills Mayor Mike Martin.

You see, we have already reported that Martin is compiling a calumnious case against upcoming opponents Ernie Brown and Irvin Callery. The miniature mullah plans to falsely claim that falsely-alleged past personal indiscretions disqualify Brown and Callery from taking his undeserved place.

But what about the mysterious Brian R. Wischer who was arrested in Kenton County? If the same Brian R.Wischer arrested on-mostly-drug-related-charges-is the same Brian R. Wischer who is a full supporter of the miscreant Martin's mindless agenda, is he somehow exempt from the mendacious Martin's upcoming mountain of mindless mud?

Is it simply because Martin knows that Brian R. Wischer is a guaranteed "yes" vote for the mismanaging mayor's mindless agenda?

Time Flies Even When You're NOT Having Fun

The Martin Chronicles has a large election countdown clock in the foyer of its palatial offices. Today marks 96 days-and counting. Time is beginning to race by.

The next significant signpost is Tuesday, August 12. Why? Because all of the candidates for mayor and city council in Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embattled burg will have filed their election paperwork. We certainly look for some big surprises.

We are absolutely certain that no matter how many new council members are elected on November 4, Villa Hills' lousy lot will not improve if Martin lies his way to re-election. The diminutive dictator has already clearly demonstrated that his oddly-oversized ego prevents him from effectively working with anyone. Two different sets of councilmembers over the past four years-and nothing but failure and turmoil.

We are already tracking down several of those aforementioned "big surprises" as the August 12 filing deadline quickly approaches.

Legal Fees About To Spike Yet Again

The Martin Chronicles has been talking with several well-placed sources who tell us that legal fees in Villa Hills will soon be on the rise again. To a person, these sources tell us that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's June council meeting assertion that "legal fees will be coming down" was-to be nice-grossly inaccurate. As one source put it so well, "What Martin said was either complete deception or complete delusion".

If Martin is trying to deceive the public, it is another example of where the tiny tyrant tells a lie simply to survive the moment. "The moment"-in this particular case-is his re-election bid that will be decided in a mere 97 days. If the diminutive dictator can hold his finger in the dyke holding back a torrent of legal fees until then, he can simply shrug his stooped shoulders and say, "I didn't know that then. But I know that now". Then the miniature mullah will proceed to blame everybody but himself for the explosion of waste on legal fees. He-he-he-he-he.

It doesn't take a highly-skilled cartographer to understand the legal "lay of the land" in Martinville. Let's take a simple inventory. There are still several unresolved-and serious-lawsuits outstanding from the mindless Martin's vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department. Despite Martin's failed efforts to have the taxpayers pick up the full tab for his personal liability, these lawsuits continue. Oh, and the legal meter on these unresolved lawsuits continues to run and run and run and run and run and run and run.

Despite the continual lies Martin is telling his feeble friends at the civic club, the taxpayer money the pint-sized Perón has spent on lawyers and legal fees is speeding towards seven figures with no end in sight. The sane members of Villa Hills' voting public should be sounding every alarm bell they can about this abject waste of taxpayer money.

How about a little historical perspective? Martin's first-and hopefully only-mayoral term will end in the fifty-second year of Villa Hills' history. At that point, Martin will have spent more money on lawyers and legal actions in his four years in office than all of the previous administrations spent over the previous forty-eight years combined.

All of this taxpayer money has been squandered simply because Martin was hell-bent on exacting revenge for his judicially-justified 2007 FORGERY ARREST. That is a complete disgrace.

The mallet-headed Martin's so-called "tight ship" is sinking in a sea of red ink.

Does He REALLY Believe It Himself?

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher hosted a "working" luncheon for our entire staff on Saturday. Even our third shift staff and reporters came to the gathering. And why not? Who passes up the chance for prime rib, sirloin steak, rib-eye, T-bone, filet mignon, crab, shrimp, scallops, clams, lobster and an open bar just to sleep?

The "working" part of the grand buffet? To discuss whether or not Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin REALLY believes all of the lies he has told over the past almost-four dreadful years.

Here is how our beloved publisher ran the "working" lunch. Armed with a stack of 4x5 flash cards, our beloved publisher read one Martin lie at a time and then opened the floor for discussion.

Here is just a small sampling of the topics discussed over the seven-plus hours of surf & turf feast:

• "Does Martin REALLY believe that all those people he promised in 2010 he would repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX would forget that broken promise when they went to the polls in 2014?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that he didn't commit FORGERY when four respected appellate judges with decades of legal experience clearly opined that what Martin was doing for many years "fit the very definition of FORGERY?"
• "Does Martin REALLY-happily-believe that he wasn't suing the taxpayers of Villa Hills for the hefty sum of $1.505 MILLION when no less a distinguished judicial body than the US Supreme Court opined that Martin was doing exactly that?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it is was acceptable to hire an unqualified, incompetent crony to oversee the City's finances, preventing City Council from performing their mandated duty of fiscal oversight?
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it was okay to use taxpayer money to hire multiple computer companies to hack in to the police department computers looking for some phony way to prove that department leadership really was trying to frame him for FORGERY?"
• Does Martin REALLY believe that it was okay to misuse taxpayer-funded City personnel and resources for POLITICAL PURPOSES, despite the fact that he received a reprimand from the Villa Hills Ethics Board for doing so?"
• Does Martin REALLY believe it was acceptable to sit idly by when a female employee was being harassed by a former City Councilman-despite the risk it created for the City's taxpayers-and say nothing when his own wife gleefully participated in the harassers failed State Senate campaign?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that the non-existent NKAPC President Paul de Paul really exists?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it was somebody else's fault when hundreds of City documents pertaining to a serious, ongoing lawsuit were ILLEGALLY BURNED when he ordered the Public Works Director to burn those very documents-and ordered the Public Works Director to say nothing about the ILLEGAL BURNING?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it doesn't matter that he was CONVICTED ON SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY by a duly-enacted, legal, governing body?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that all he needed was a "new City Council" to trample over in 2013 and beyond when what has happened after a majority of voters bought in to his FALSE PREMISE in the 2012 election has proven to be a cruel hoax?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it passes conflict-of-interest muster to hire his own personal attorney to serve as the TAXPAYER-FUNDED CITY ATTORNEY?"
• Does Martin REALLY believe that it is perfectly fine to sign a City purchase order that put more than TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS IN TO HIS OWN POCKET?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that it way okay to publicly trash the former-Assistant Police Chief for justifiably earning money resulting from a LEGAL CONTRACT Martin himself spent TAXPAYER MONEY to draft and then signed himself was correct?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that no one would remember that he LIED when he told television cameras that former Villa Hills Police Chief Dan Goodenough was "taking a few days off" when the reality was that Martin himself was hatching a pernicious plot to publicly embarrass the former Chief in to an unfair and premature retirement?"
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that anyone believed his bull$#!+ that 48 of 52 City budgets were nothing more that "bottom line" budgets", despite the fact that none of the previous Villa Hills City budgets were "bottom line" budgets that enabled a mayor to spend TAXPAYER MONEY any way he saw fit.
• Does Martin REALLY believe that its no big deal that his City Administrator/City Clerk Craigory T. Bohman is interviewing with both Ludlow and Ft. Mitchell for another job?
• "Does Martin REALLY believe that The Dark Knight known as The Martin Chronicles would ever go away as long as that little liar sits in the mayor's office?"

The general belief that was that Martin didn't care one way or the other whether the bull$#!+ he was spouting at the time was true. All the little fella from Norwood cared about was surviving that moment.

98 more days of "moments" until election day.