Monday, June 30, 2014

Sign Of The Times?

The Martin Chronicles reporters are fanning out over the streets of malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's troubled town of Villa Hills trying to confirm several rumors about new signs popping up. We are heading in to election season after all.

We have received unconfirmed reports that yard signs are appearing that read, "Fire Mike Martin On November 4th!" in large, bold, red letters. We'll let you know what we discover.

Martin may very well be "fired" in 125 days.

War Of The Words

The Martin Chronicles considers the give-and-take on various social networks a great barometer for what's happening in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills. A recent stream of posts on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page is a fine example. We also suspect it indicates we're heading towards yet another nasty election in Martinville.

First, people should remember that when someone loses an election they are not required to surrender their First Amendment rights as well. Former elected officials should feel as free to post their thoughts as anybody else. Their views are just as legitimate as everyone else's. To suggest otherwise is "vile and disgusting".  

Secondly, its becoming clear that the Voice of Villa Hills is coming under attack simply for political reasons. The misdirecting Martin is claiming that the Voice "is out of business". A Martin sycophant is suggesting that the Facebook page has been "hijacked". Again, "vile and disgusting".

Given the type of below-the-belt, dishonest, dirtbag campaign Martin always runs, we look for some hard feelings to begin boiling over. It may be fun to cover. But its not good for the City.

And either is Martin.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

WEEKENDER II: How Much Does It Matter?

The Martin Chronicles believes its a good thing that City Council soundly rejected Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's brazen ploy to have unchecked control over more than THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS. But a look back over Martin's mismanagement of his first three budgets brings us to the realization that it may not make much difference.

As at least one councilmember has publicly stated, council only reviews Martin's misspending after the diminutive dictator has squandered the taxpayers' money on things like attorneys and continued legal actions. Martin has even rebuffed councils' request to post the tiny tyrant's wasteful spending on the City's stale website.

Keep in mind that the mallet-headed Martin has slipped the surly bonds of the City's annual budget in each of the first three dismal years he has been placed in the position to mismanage it. What has happened then? City Council has been left no choice but to pass budget amendments to cover the mismanaging Martin's-at-best-inexplicable-over-spending. One time is a hiccup. Two times is disturbing. Three times in a row provides unassailable proof of abject incompetence and mismanagement.  

Sure, a budget amendment can be justified. Suppose there's a major street collapse? Or, maybe a major opportunity to improve the City presents itself after the annual budget is passed in to law? Those would be perfectly defensible reasons to amend the budget.

But that has not been the case during Martin's Reign of Error. In fact, there has been no road work of note over the entire time Martin has occupied the mayor's office. This despite the fact that Martin continues to impose the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX on the backs of every non-scofflaw resident. In point of fact, Martin and his "golden moment" council also INCREASED THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY NEARLY FIFTY PERCENT, allegedly to do more road work that has never been done.

And, there have been no positive initiatives or improvements of any kind that would warrant increasing the amount of taxpayer money that has been spent annually. Just staggering sums of taxpayer money wasted on unnecessary overtime, lawyers and legal actions.

Even still, the mindless Martin continues to wander aimlessly in his make-believe world. He is completely-and incorrectly-convinced that-as his sycophant supporters have brayed-he is doing "great things for people". Ask Dan Goodenough and several others about that.

The voters can "amend" their 2010 decision to put Martin in the mayor's office in 128 days.

Friday, June 27, 2014

WEEKENDER: The Flower Police

The Martin Chronicles watched as Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin gleefully broke a three-to-three tie to impose draconian, new zoning regulations on the backs of the long-suffering residents of his embattled burg. We are reminded of the classic Cheap Trick song, Dream Police. Only this time, Martin has unleashed the Flower Police.

This seemingly innocuous action has stark implications for many, many Villa Hills residents:
  • If you have any plantings around your mailbox, you're now a criminal.
  • If you have any plantings any more than four short feet away from your home, you're now a criminal.
What next? Well, Martin-with the support of Koenig, Menninger-Isenhour and Wischer-will be sending out his aptly-named "nuisance officer" to harass people for those crimes. The authoritarian ass is obviously pandering to some disgruntled group who prefer to have the heavy hand of government settle petty disagreements with their neighbors.

We wonder how much Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry will be paid to draft such an over-the-top ordinance? We wonder who Martin intends to target? Will he use his "nuisance officer" to wreak havoc on political opponents?

Given Martin's dreadful mismanagement of Villa Hills taxpayer money and operations over these past, nearly four years, the diminutive dictator's list of political opponents has grown quite long. But there is a solution to this nitwittery.

Martin must face the voters in less than 129 days.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Meeting Quick Takes

The Martin Chronicles staff watched tonight's installment of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's monthly three-ring circus-a.k.a. council meeting-with a mixture of merriment and revulsion. Following is our initial look at what happened.

Martin' Budget Debacle
We were happy to see the generally supplicant city council hand Martin his ass on the idiot imam's outrageous request to be handed over THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS TO WASTE however he wanted. Instead, council passed the same style line-item budget the previous fifty-one governing bodies enacted. Martin was left curled up on the floor in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

We were disgusted to see council being forced to pass yet another budget amendment to cover Martin's mismanaged budget over-runs. The miniature mullah is clueless on how to effectively manage TAXPAYER MONEY.

We laughed when Martin "promised" that spending on lawyers and legal fees may eventually be "half what its been". Yippee. That means he'll only piss away ONE QUARTER OF A MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS on lawyers and legal fees from now on. Pathetic.

Martin Targeting Residents Who Like Flowers
The mean-spirited Martin gleefully broke a three-three tie to impose a draconian new zoning ordinance on the four-year-long-suffering residents of Villa Hills. We suspect Martin is trying to curry election year favor with some group of gripers who wants the government to target neighbors they don't like.

In short, if you have flowers around your mailbox, you're now a criminal in Martinville. The next knock on your door could be from Martin's "nuisance officer".

Martin Attacks The Voice Of Villa Hills
The mendacious Martin told the BOLD-FACED LIE that the Voice of Villa Hills is no longer in existence. Seriously? Isn't Martin "tech-saaaavey"? Doesn't the pernicious pinhead know that the Voice of Villa Hills has gone digital? Perhaps he might look in to that. The "Voice" site has about 1,400 friends after all. Idiot.

Oh, that's right. The publisher of the Voice of Villa Hills is challenging Martin in the upcoming mayor's race. So Martin's LIE was probably just another hillbilly cheap shot.

They start counting ballots in 130 days.



Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Vote Tonight

The Martin Chronicles anticipates Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin will use the occasion of tonight's secret, untelevised City Council meeting to push for approval of his highly controversial "bottom line budget". You may recall that Martin wants council's approval to spend more than THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS any way the diminutive dictator sees fit.

Despite Martin's LIE to the contrary, this brazen power grab is being attempted for the first time in Villa Hills' 52-year history. Tonight should be a telling moment.

What will council do?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Toad's Obsession

The Martin Chronicles really doesn't mind that so many people are trying to discover the identity of our beloved publisher and who works for our pesky, little blog. What does it mean? It means that we're effective. And why are we effective? Because we've developed a huge network of sources and informants who help us keep our readers up-to-date on the perpetual corruption and incompetence of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.

We've had social networkers incorrectly accuse various and sundry people of being part of The Martin Chronicles. We've watched as misguided airheads have come to podiums to incorrectly accuse several people of being part of The Martin Chronicles. We've listened to the hillbilly haters who call us "vile" and "disgusting" while simultaneously giving a free pass to the miscreant Martin. You know, the tiny tyrant who has mistreated so very many people who are guilty of absolutely nothing except in Martin's twisted mind.

But we are bothered by one person's obvious obsession about The Martin Chronicles. Who is it? It's the misspending Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry. Why are we bothered by Toad V. McMurtry's efforts? Because Toad V. McMurtry is misusing taxpayer money to conduct his witch hunt.

Do you want just one of several examples? Here it is. Think back to the costly, late-March public railroading of former Police Chief Dan Goodenough. McMurtry misused taxpayer-funded time to ask every witness who came to the podium during Martin's "kangaroo court" to ask them if they knew who writes The Martin Chronicles and if they ever provided information to The Martin Chronicles and if they ever wrote posts for The Martin Chronicles themselves. What a-costly-to-the-taxpayers-disgrace.

We also completely understand Toad V. McMurtry's-costly-to-the-taxpayers-obsession. You see, Toad V. McMurtry knows that we know that he knows that we know many, many things about him that will be quite embarrassing when the public hears about them.

For instance:
  • We know the complete details of Toad V. McMurtry's "interesting" departure from his previous employer, Deters, Benzinger and Lavelle.
  • We have secured irrefutable evidence about Toad V. McMurtry's sordid efforts to intimidate members of the current City Council in to compliant silence.
  • We have received unimpeachable, written documentation of the "game" Toad V. McMurtry and Martin played that landed more that twenty-three thousand taxpayer dollars in Martin's pocket.
  • We have come in to unassailable evidence of the-costly-to-the-taxpayers-shell game Toad V. McMurtry has employed to use attorneys from other law firms to cover his taxpayer-funded tracks.
  • We know the exact amount of taxpayer-funded attorney fees Martin has squandered to carry out his vicious vendetta against all of the people the misdirecting Martin incorrectly blames for his 2007 FORGERY ARREST.
So, Toad V. McMurtry feels compelled to try to intimidate The Martin Chronicles in to silence as well. But our beloved publisher has assembled a group of first-rate political reporters who fully understand their First Amendment-guaranteed rights. Unlike so many others who Martin and Toad V. McMurtry have bullied in to quiet, The Martin Chronicles is not so inclined.

The Martin Chronicles plans to keep reporting the truth right up to election day, only 134 days away.



Saturday, June 21, 2014

WEEKENDER II: Financial Mess Nearly Beyond Repair

The Martin Chronicles has learned that there are some serious-minded insiders in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills who fully realize that-when it comes to the City's fouled-up finances-the car is almost ready to drive over the cliff. We also learned that recognizing a serious problem and having any ability to deal with it are two totally separate things. Especially in Martinville.

The universal view of these well-meaning-but completely ineffectual-insiders is that "Martin has absolutely no idea how to manage the budget. He's completely lost. But he doesn't even realize it." There is a growing sense of frustration that no one can explain the severity of the problems to Martin. As one person put it, "He just can't seem to understand the financial mess the City is in. We offer advice and suggestions and he completely ignores us."

This group has also had more than enough of the incompetence and insolence of Martin's crony-hire $47.50 per hour bucket-headed bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber. "She is useless. Every time we ask her a question she smugly laughs and tells us we have to talk to Martin. Then Martin sends us back to her only to be put off yet again. Its a sick and costly game of keep-a-way with huge sums of taxpayer money being wasted."

There is also complete agreement that the financial problems won't just go away if Martin is defeated in his crazy bid for a second term in November. A huge amount of money will have to be spent bringing in skilled people to untangle the terrible mess Martin, Schaber and other have created over the last nearly four dreadful years.

But that process can at least begin if the right thing happens in 135 days.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

WEEKENDER: Yes, Virginia. Martin Is A LIAR

The Martin Chronicles has noticed that a lot of Villa Hills residents are kicking around malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's 2010 calumnious campaign propaganda. People are trading Martin's tripe on social media and joking about just how dishonest the diminutive dictator was, is and shall be forevermore.

A line lifted from the mendacious Martin's funky 2010 Facebook page is causing a lot of laughter-and heartburn-amongst Villa Hills' "clued in" residents. What did the little liar write? "Together as a City we can STOP the unnecessary spending, increased fees and taxation". Phew! There are multiple flame-broiled whoppers in that one cloying line.

Yep. Martin has abjectly failed to keep absolutely any of those  so-called "promises". But, when dealing with someone as brazenly dishonest as the misdirecting Martin, its far more likely that he never intended to do so.

The Martin Chronicles is staffed with reporters who have had many years covering political turmoil and misdeeds all over these great United States. So, we feel quite comfortable conducting the tried and true exercise of "parsing" Martin's dishonest 2010 Facebook line that's now making so many Villa Hills residents simultaneously grimace and laugh.

We'll repeat Martin's dishonest 2010 line for the uninitiated. "[Together as a City] we can STOP [the unnecessary spending], [increased fees] and [taxation]".

Let the "parsing" begin::
  • [Together as a City]: There has been nothing "together" about the last four years of the manipulative Martin's Reign of Error. Remember? "I'm the CEO. It's MY decision. Deal with it. We're moving on." If you don't, you certainly should. Martin has disallowed any dissent or disagreement, even signing an Executive Order granting himself the unprecedented power to arrest any resident who dares disagree with him at a public meeting. Ask any councilperson who has had the misfortune to work with the maniacal Martin about the miniature mullah's approach to "together".
  • [Unnecessary spending]: Let's begin with the fact an independent audit reported that Villa Hills City government spent FEWER TAXPAYER DOLLARS PER RESIDENT THAN ANY CITY OR COUNTY GOVERNMENT in Kenton, Boone and Campbell Counties prior to the misspending Martin taking office on January 1, 2011. Was it "necessary" to spend TENS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS on Martin's crony-hire bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber to foul-up the books so badly that a much more expensive professional is now required to fix Martin's mess?  Was it "necessary" for Martin to hire his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry to rack up more that ONE HALF OF A MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS in unnecessary lawyers and legal actions? Oh, there's a helluva lot more.
  • [Increased fees]: Oh, you know exactly what the mendacious Martin was referring to in this part of his colossal lie. THE UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. First of all, "someone" needs to tap the mallet-headed Martin on the shoulder and remind him that HE VOTED FOR THE UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Then, this same "someone" needs to remind the mealy-mouthed Martin that he casually walked away from his "solemn promise" to REPEAL THE UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX over the past four, dreadful years.Finally, this "someone" needs to remind the malevolent Martin that Villa Hills residents are still forced to pay THE UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX. Sad, sad, sad.
  • [Taxation]: First of all, everyone who has been paying any attention knows that Martin has raised property tax rates. They should also realize that Martin has raised the SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX BY THIRTY-THREE PERCENT. Oh, yeah. Then there is Martin's failed attempt to push through a MASSIVE INCREASE IN PROPERTY TAXES IN 2011 and a SECOND SCURRILOUS ATTEMPT TO DO SO PLANNED FOR THIS YEAR.
Yep, Martin is a FILTHY LIAR. All he ever wanted was the reins of power to settle his imaginary score resulting from his judicially-ruled "justified" 2007 FORGERY ARREST. The miscreant Martin told LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE after LIE to get himself in the position to carry out his pernicious plan.

Sure, there are still idiots who may LIE for Martin in a desperate attempt to keep the tinpot dictator in power to continue to unleash his lawlessness. There are other fools who may still take to podiums foolishly proclaiming that "this mayor does great things for people". But they are a shrinking group of simpletons. What would Dan Goodenough say about the "great thing" that the malevolent Martin did for him?

Even still, what will Villa Hills voters do? Will they fall for Martin's LIES yet again?  

We'll know in about 136 days.


Empty Open House

The Martin Chronicles will never be disrespectful of the men and women in law enforcement. That is certainly not the purpose of this post. Instead, what happened is just another example of the ineptitude of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.

So, what did happen? The mismanaging Martin decided to hold an open house for residents to meet Villa Hills' new Police Chief. Not a bad idea at all. That is, if the person-in this case the mallet-headed Martin-organizing the event wasn't a disorganized doofus.

Sure, we know that people are busy this time of year. Kids in sports. Fishing. Golf. Trap shooting. Tire rotating. Snipe hunting. Bushwhacking. Whatever. But don't you think that Martin could have done enough promotion of the open house to get more than ten people-out of a City of more than seven thousand residents-to join the event?

Heck, almost all of the attendees were either current of former councilmembers-and a person filming the very-lightly attended event. Good grief, that's pitiful. Why didn't Martin round up some of his civic club ass clowns? Maybe he could have offered them free Keystone Light.

The worst is yet to come.

 

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

News and Noxious Notes

The Martin Chronicles investigative reporters are working all of their sources to uncover the latest fiascoes in malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's troubled Villa Hills City Government. It would be a colossal understatement to say that things in Martinville are going from very bad to far, far worse.

Where Do All The Records Go?

First, we have uncovered yet another example of either massive incompetence, or more malfeasance. If you don't read the dinosaur media's feeble attempt at reporting news online-aka cincinnati.com-you might not know that Martin offered up a Municipal Order declaring railroaded former Chief Dan Goodenough's badge, rank insignias and firearm "surplus" so that the long-serving Chief could have them as mementos of his stellar service to Villa Hills. The Municipal Order was approved 5-1, with only that trash-tank Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour inexplicably voting "no".

Anyway, we have learned that the Municipal Order has already "disappeared". Oh, really? You don't say? Is that a fact? So, what the heck happened to it?

Did the pyro-Maniacal Martin already burn the Municipal Order? Did the Mincing Martin already shred the Municipal Order? Or, is this just another example of the massively incompetent administrative staff shoddily-at-best cobbled together by the equally massively incompetent Martin? How ever you slice it, bad, bad, very bad.

Is Bailing A Bellwether?
 
Our investigative reporters have also learned that City Clerk/City Administrator Craig T. Bohman-aka "Craigory"-is desperately trying to find a new job someplace else. Several sources in the City of Ludlow have confirmed that Bohman has frantically made it known that he wants to be that river City's next City Administrator.
 
How can that possibly be? Didn't the mismanaging Martin recently reward "Craigory" with a TAXPAYER-FUNDED FIFTY PERCENT PAYRAISE for his "efforts" assisting the diminutive dictator in dishonorably ousting Goodenough and Schutzman?
 
Could it be that "Craigory" believes that the mallet-headed Martin is about to become "electoral toast"? Why else would one of the most loyal members of the tiny tyrant's GOON SQUAD be seeking employment in another City?
 
We'll know if Bohman is right in just 138 days. 
 

Somebody Should Ask

The Martin Chronicles thinks one of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's councilmembers should ask him how long the residents of the embarrassed town have been served by the Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission's Code Enforcement Board.

If Martin decides to do something original and tell the truth, the council may be in for a surprise. Of course it will be someone else's fault.

139 days until November 4.





Saturday, June 14, 2014

WEEKENDER II: Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery?

The Martin Chronicles posted about Villa Hills mayoral candidate Ernie Brown's Facebook page this morning. There are already a huge number of "likes" on Mr. Brown's page and the positive comments of support have been overwhelming. The race to replace current malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is well on its way.

Inside sources tell us that the immediate, incredible show of support for Mr. Brown's candidacy has sent shockwaves to the brainless-trust of the "Re-Elect Mayor Martin 2014" campaign. As we would expect, the hillbilly lynchmob has already begun to respond by ramping up the mallet-headed Martin's own campaign Facebook page.

Following are just a few of posts Martin's campaign inoperatives put up today:

Mayor Mike Martin
                       6 hrs
We're in the money! Janet and I sure enjoyed the Florida trip we took after I signed the purchase order to pay myself more than TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND TAXPAYER-FUNDED DOLLARS. We both got sunburnt though. Spending everyone else's money has been great! Thanks!!!

 
 

Like  Comment  Share
 
 
Mayor Mike Martin
                          5 hrs
 
People let me tell ya 'bout my best friend! I wanted to share a photo of me and my personal and City Attorney Toad V. McMurtry during one of the worst moments of my mayor-ness time thingy. Sure, I know legal fees are approaching A HALF A MILLION DOLLARS since Toad joined us. But he's a fine legal mind. Without him, I might have been CONVICTED ON MORE THAN SEVEN OF NINE COUNTS OF OFFICIAL MISCONDUCT AND NEGLECT OF DUTY.
 




 
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Mayor Mike Martin
                       4 hrs
 
My "golden moment" council has been a terrible disappointment. Why won't anyone ever work with me? Janet and Cordelia will be holding signs in front of River Ridge on November 4th holding signs that say "Villa Hills Needs Yet Another New Council". Even that dumbass Holly has tried to get in my way. But I have a big surprise for that stupid fool!
 




 
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Mayor Mike Martin
                      3 hrs 
 
Being the mayor is hard work! Can you believe that there are some mean people out there who actually think I should have sat down with (railroaded former Police Chief) Dan Goodenough first before I spent nearly TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS trying to publicly humiliate him? Hey, I'm awful busy running my unlicensed, shoddy-at-best handyman business. And the taxpayers are only paying me a crummy $200 a month. I know the voters will understand.

 
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Mayor Mike Martin
                       2 hrs
 
Can you believe that there are actually people who think I'm STUPID? Hey, I are creative problem solver. Want a example? Well, why spend $50 to pay a locksmith to open a $1,200 safe when you can make the public works fellas crush it open with a backhoe. So who's stupid now? He-he-he-he-he.


 
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Mayor Mike Martin
                         1 hr
 
What the hell is wrong with the voters of Villa Hills anyway? I thought they had finally come around to the idea of supporting lying pieces of crap. So why did they ignore my endorsement of Steve Arlinghaus and throw him out on his ass? That's okay. I already got what I wanted from him anyway. Now I can lie my way to another four years as mayor of Villa Hills.
 



 
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WEEKENDER: A Great Start

The Martin Chronicles was first to announce that long-time Villa Hills resident Ernie Brown has filed the necessary paperwork to challenge malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin this fall. We look forward to covering what is sure to be a real fight. If 2010 taught us anything, it is that Martin is a REMARKABLY SKILLED LIAR WHO WILL PERNICIOUSLY PLUMB ANY DEPTHS TO WIN. The mud will surely be flying from the tiny tyrant's re-election campaign.

Mr. Brown started a Facebook page (It's easy to find. Simply search "Ernie Brown".) for his campaign and it is being absolutely overwhelmed with messages of strong support. That's a good early indicator of the public's mood and hunger for competent, honest government. You know, the things that have gone missing for the last nearly four dreadful years.

We are unable to confirm whether former Covington Mayor Irvin Callery has officially filed his papers to enter the Villa Hills mayor's race. We will continue to watch the Kenton County Courthouse.

Friday, June 13, 2014

The Race Is On

The Martin Chronicles has confirmed through its Kenton County sources that long-time Villa Hills resident Ernie Brown has officially filed his paperwork to challenge malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. We will have more details soon.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Martin's Sand Box

The Martin Chronicles has decided that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin simply can't play well with others. A review of history clearly demonstrates that Martin constantly fought nonsensical battles over meaningless things with everyone during his dismal tenure as a city councilmember. As mismanaging mayor, the tiny tyrant has failed to find any way to work with two completely different city councils over the last nearly four dreadful years.

So, now Martin wants his "golden moment" group to simply give up any oversight authority they are supposed to have over the City's annual budget. The diminutive dictator evidently sees no reason why anyone else should have anything to say about how he wants to spend MORE THAN THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS.

Martin reminds us of the selfish little brat who won't share any of his plastic toys while playing in the sand box. We can just see Martin looking at the MORE THAN THREE MILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS and whining, "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

If the social networks are any indication, the decided majority of Villa Hills residents clearly don't agree with Martin. They also seem to understand that Martin LIED when he FALSELY claimed that forty-eight out of fifty-two previous City budgets were simply ceded to the mayors to spend in any way they wanted.

But being caught in MASSIVE LIES has never deterred Martin. In an odd way, the little liar almost seems to enjoy it!

The voters can tell the mendacious Martin to pick up his toys and go home in just 142 days.
 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

He's ONLY Kidding Himself

The Martin Chronicles is sometimes still surprised by the incessant DISHONESTY of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. Believe it, or not. The most recent example? Check out cincinnati.com's post about the mendacious Martin's incredible move to have City Council pass a budget that lumps all City non-restricted revenues and disbursements in to a single line item.

And its one huge line item. The mismanaging Martin wants council to give him unfettered permission to spend $3,110,692 anyway the tiny tyrant sees fit. No checks and balances. No accountability. No way!

Here's Martin's BIG LIE. The diminutive dictator FALSELY CLAIMS that "Forty-eight out of fifty-two years, I think, the budget has been presented this way". Seriously? You don't say? Is that a fact?

Well, no it most certainly isn't. We have reached out to Villa Hills council members who served as far back as the 1960's. Their reply to Martin's SPECIOUS CLAIM? The City Budget has never, ever been presented this way.

Given Martin's non-stop waste of taxpayer money, this is not the time for council to do something original.
 


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Days And Nights Of Fear And Loathing

The Martin Chronicles' sources have sent us a couple of stories that clearly demonstrate that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Martin's terrible treatment of the police department continues unabated. Would you like an update? Sure you would.

First of all, the malevolent Martin is going to take the occasion of this week's secret council meeting to ask his "golden moment" group to finally take a vote to declare railroaded, former Police Chief Dan Goodenough  firearm "surplus". Why? So that the tiny tyrant can finally keep his useless word about giving the former Chief's firearm back to him. Can a slanderous comment by Dave Hilgeford be far behind? Better three months late than never we guess.

Several residents also report that one Villa Hills police officer recently made a loud, public spectacle about the sad state of affairs in Martinville in a Crescent Springs establishment. We are told that the officer went on a rant about the lack of decent equipment, the terrible working conditions, the lack of personnel, the crappy pay and was the most animated when he exclaimed in a very loud voice, "MARTIN SUCKS". Spot on, my friend. Spot on.

Local government hasn't seen this much corruption and incompetence since the glory days of Rock Ridge.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

WEEKENDER II: What Do The Residents Of Amsterdam Village Have To Do?

The Martin Chronicles reporters have been travelling through malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embattled Villa Hills today following up with its sources on several story leads. Reporters who had been working in Martin's "backyard"-known as Amsterdam Village-returned to tell us that the diminutive dictator still hasn't seen fit to repair the damaged neighborhood sign that was allegedly hit by a car many, many, many months ago.

How best to describe the worse than shoddy-at-best appearance of the now-crumbling sign? As one local who lives nearby put it, "It's a damned embarrassment. But then what else would you expect from a EXPLETIVEing clown like that EXPLETIVEing Martin?"

Martin's lack of action is unusual-at least in this case. Two of the tiny tyrant's closest political supporters live literally within spitting distance of the badly-damaged sign. One of Martin's most ardent civic club mouthpieces, the vile Tony Funklin, lives right there. So does Martin's buddy-and lawsuit co-defendant and husband of crony-hire, bucket-headed taxpayer-funded $47.50 per hour "bookkeeper" Cordelia Schaber-Dale Schaber. Martin has a proven track record of MISUSING TAXPAYER MONEY TO REWARD HIS CRONIES. So, why the delay?

That is just one of the reasons why Martin's reluctance to fix the badly-damaged sign is unusual. If you haven't done the research-don't fret-because we have. Amsterdam Village is "ground zero" for Martin supporters. These hard-working-but woefully inattentive-residents were the tiny difference in Martin's razor-thin 2010 mayoral victory. And, these same residents were the definitive key to giving Martin his once-"golden moment" council in 2012.
So, why the embarrassing delay?

Inside sources are telling us that Martin's odd reluctance to fix the sign is simply a matter of brazen political calculus-even though we seriously doubt Martin knows anything about calculus. But what these sources tell us make sense-at least in Martinville.

You see, even the mallet-headed Martin realizes that people are coming to understand that he is anything but a budget hawk. A growing number of people are grasping the fact that Martin has WASTED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS ON LAWYERS AND LEGAL ACTIONS SIMPLY TO COMPLETE HIS MINDLESS VENDETTA RESULTING FROM HIS 2007 FORGERY ARREST.

But that's just the tip of Martin's idiotic iceberg. Not only has Martin walked away from his "solemn promise" to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX, he rammed through a FIFTY PER CENT INCREASE IN THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX.

And what have the residents of Villa Hills received from Martin's PROFLIGATE SPENDING AND TAX HIKES? Again simply put, not one damned thing.

The insiders tell us that Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Craig V. McMurtry and Martin flunky "Craigory" have been advising Martin to avoid "WASTING" ANY MORE TAXPAYER MONEY wherever possible. Why? Because these two venal villains are very desperate to hold on to their TAXPAYER-FUNDED CRONY JOBS past January 1, 2015.
Doesn't that smell to "high heaven".

It's so very ugly that we have learned that the malevolent Martin-on the advice of McMurtry and "Craigory"-are intentionally delaying the rightful $120,000 AGREED-TO, TAXPAYER-FUNDED PAYOUT to railroaded former Police Chief Dan Goodenough. You remember Goodenough? That's the poor guy who was the subject of one of Martin's BIGGEST LIES when the miniature mullah FALSELY told the media that the Chief was "just taking a few days off" just a few months ago.  

Let's get down to the old brass tacks. Martin is desperately trying to push the sign repair, lawsuit settlement, bills from McMurtry and all of his other selfish wasteful spending in to next year's budget. Why? Because the LITTLE LIAR hopes the voters won't see the FULL EXTENT OF MARTIN'S COMPLETE MISMANAGEMENT OF THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY.

The voters have a clear decision on November 4. 
 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

WEEKENDER: It Keeps Creeping Closer

The Martin Chronicles isn't the only entity that realizes that there is a great deal riding on November 4's  local elections. We hear chatter from a growing number of residents all the time. Simply put, they've had more than enough of Martin's perpetual dishonesty and embarrassing nitwittery.

In all honesty, it won't be enough to finally rid the City of the terrible, incompetent and corrupt Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. Sure, that will be the most important first step. But a great deal more change is absolutely needed to fix the terrible problems plaguing Villa Hills City Government.

Villa Hills will need a new, courageous mayor that has the intestinal fortitude to use his or her new shovel to clean out the smelly stable that the once-proud City Government has become. A whole lot of substantive changes will have to be made for the problem to be fixed.

First, let's look at Martin's collection of calumnious cronies:
  • A new mayor will have to tell Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry that his unnecessarily-costly services are no longer needed.
  • A new mayor will have to tell Martin's lackey "Craigory" that his supplicant services are no longer needed.
  • A new mayor will have tell long-serving dead weight like the former interim City Clerk who hasn't hit a lick in many years that her services are no longer needed.
  • A new mayor will have to tell Martin's crony-hire, bucket-headed bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber that he or she finally accepts her long-standing resignation and hire an accountant or accounting firm that will accurately and honestly report the true financial state of the City.
  • None of this will be easy. But all of it has to be done.
Second, let's look at City Council:
  • The voters will have to send the mean-spirited Councilhag Mary Koenig packing. That vile, ancient crocodile has been a major player in all of the embarrassment Villa Hills has suffered through the past two years. Koenig doesn't think the residents have the right to know just how much the mismanaging Martin has been WASTING on lawyers and lawsuits? Really? Is that a fact?
  • The voters will have to give the dim-witted Holly B. Menninger-Isenhour a lot more time to focus on her real estate endeavors. HBM-I has allowed herself to be used as a pathetic pawn of "bad guys" like Martin and Koenig and her mouth has triggered multiple lawsuits. Simply put, HBM-I doesn't have the "tools" to properly serve the public.
  • The voters will have to send Brian Wischer on his not-so-merry way. In case you didn't know, Wischer recruited his poor sister to write a Municipal Order-that the miscreant Martin joyously signed-that led to HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF COSTLY-TO-THE TAXPAYER-LAWSUITS.
  • The voters also have to decide whether Councilmembers who sat back for the sake of some wrong-headed view of "propriety"-or didn't even bother to show up-while the mendacious Martin ran roughshod over their City, are worthy of re-election.
Third, let's look at certain groups need to finally be put in their place:
  • The very top of this list is inhabited by General Zod and rest of the ass hats at the Villa Hills Civic Club. The civic club may or may not be a good enough place to drink several gallons of cheap beer, gossip about the neighbors affairs, play euchre, place a bet with one of the local bookies, roast a weenie or go fishing. But it sure isn't a font of knowledge when it comes to local elections. Their drone-like support for the corrupt and incompetent Martin is all the proof required.
  • Local tea-partiers, liberty-leaguers and axe-the-taxers are also on the "clueless" list. These blinders-on buffoons actually believed Martin's LIE that he was going to repeal the UNFAIR $40 PER CAR STICKER TAX in 2010. In case you haven't noticed, you-and every Villa Hills taxpayer-are still being forced to pay that terrible tax. Not only that, but Martin has pushed through a FIFTY PERCENT INCREASE IN THE SNEAKY INSURANCE PREMIUM TAX AS WELL. Oh-just for good measure-Martin has SQUANDERED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON UNNECESSARY LAWYERS AND LEGAL ACTIONS.
  • Then there are the "Jeeves, be a good man and pull the limo around" jackasses who are so detached that they believe anyone can run a City like Villa Hills. MARTIN'S FOUR YEARS OF FAILURE proves that these "raised-pinky" folks should be ignored.
  • Lest we forget, how about the pathetic pinheads who have said "This mayor (Martin) does great things for people"? Really? Do you want one example of why that's a complete joke? Just ask long-serving former Police Chief Danny Goodenough. If only the little fella who LIED to either the Villa Hills Police of Special Counsel had been honest, Martin's lawlessness wouldn't have been unleashed.
Sure, Martin needs to go. A top-shelf City should have a top-shelf mayor. But a whole lot of additional changes are required as well. There is a lot at stake on November 4.

But what will happen in just 149 days?



Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Who's Next?

The Martin Chronicles is still re-hashing last week's City Council meeting/fiasco. As we sift through our notes on the entire meeting we continue to find so many nuggets. We know what many of you are thinking. "Hey, it's (Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike) Martin. So all of those nuggets are Fool's Gold." And we most certainly agree. But all those nuggets are also quite revealing.

How about another interesting tidbit? Some on council were pressing the mallet-headed Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry about the law regarding Civil Service Commissions recently passed by the Kentucky Legislature. McMurtry's reason for being unprepared? "I've been a bit preoccupied." But we're sure he'll be quite happy to bill the taxpayers to find the answers.
 
So what's going on? Well, one councilmember inadvertently blurted out-perhaps inadvertently-that there is yet another City employee who may be brought up on charges soon. Oh, really? Is that a fact? You don't say?

My, my, my. Does that mean that there is going to be yet another costly-to-the-taxpayers-Martin "kangaroo court"? Will the City be slapped with yet another wasteful lawsuit? Perhaps.

Don't you wonder who might be the target of the next Martin-mismanaged "hi-tech lynching"? Will yet another police officer be unfairly raked over Martin's cooked-up coals? Will one of the poor public works crew face Martin's mindless wrath? Hey, maybe one of Martin's grossly-overpaid and embarrassingly-underperforming administrative drones will take a turn in the hateful Martin's hot seat? Who knows?

Will we hear Martin's mindless excuses yet again? Will Martin yet again whimper that the taxpayers just don't pay him enough to do his job? Most likely.

One thing we do know. Whatever might happen will cost the taxpayers another fortune and be completely dishonest. Remember the prelude to the last spectacle? The mendacious Martin gleefully lied through his teeth telling the local television stations that former Police Chief Dan Goodenough was just "taking a few days off". This after Martin and his personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry had presented Goodenough with their crazy version of Hobson's Choice.

Then we saw "Craigory" take the stand and spin tales of all of the alleged "problems" for which his boss Martin should not be held accountable. Oh, yeah. We also got to watch Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Todd V. McMurtry grill every witness about The Martin Chronicles. What a shameful waste of taxpayer money.

This whole mess in Villa Hills City Government is an unnecessary embarrassment. The inattentive voters gave Martin a razor-thin victory way back in 2010. And doesn't that now seem like a bazillion years ago? What has happened since has been a humbling humiliation, no matter how many bonfires the civic club asshats ignite.

But democracy gives the voters another chance to fix that dreadful, 2010 "lapse in judgment". The voters will have the chance to toss the corrupt and incompetent Martin out on his ass on November 4.

That chance is only 151 days away.



Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Do You Want A Title Or A Raise?

The Martin Chronicles reporters continue to compare their voluminous notes on Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's latest exercise in stupidity commonly referred to as a City Council meeting. All of the reporters took notice of the malevolent Martin's assignment of the additional duties-without additional pay-of "Nuisance Officer" to a poor public works employee.

There are many reasons why the mendacious Martin made such a move. First, the little liar wants to push his FALSE image as a budget hawk. The tiny tyrant hopes people will applaud his efforts to harass their neighbors without spending even more money. And, of course, some of the idiots at the civic club will do exactly that. Everyone else will remember that Martin has WASTED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON LAWYERS AND LAWSUITS AND SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASED EVERYONE'S TAX BURDEN.

Just think about it. Martin triggered yet another-costly-to-the-taxpayers-lawsuit by breaching the contract he signed with Schutzman Inspection Services to bring in the far-more-expensive Northern Kentucky Area Planning Commission (NKAPC).

How do we know that the NKAPC is "far-more-costly"? Well, one of Villa Hills honest councilmembers publicly announced that THE TAXPAYERS ARE FORKING OVER TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THE SERVICES OF THE NKAPC.

Martin's ridiculous rationale for WASTING AND ADDITIONAL ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY-ONE THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS? Well, the miniature mullah rammed through the vote to hire the NKAPC claiming that they would provide "better service".

Well, if Martin's LAME LIE was true, why does the City now need a "Nuisance Officer" to fill in the gaps not covered by the NKAPC? No reasonable person can believe that "explanation" makes any sense at all.

One of our veteran political reporters describes it this way. "That little EXPLETIVE Martin handed the smelly, brown end of the stick to that poor public works employee. Whenever the so-called nuisance officer does anything closely resembling good, that little, DISHONEST piece of EXPLETIVE Martin will try to take credit for it. But if anything goes wrong, watch that EXPLETIVE Martin place all of the blame on the so-called nuisance officer." Given Martin's ATROCIOUS TRACK RECORD, that makes perfect sense.

Another member of The Martin Chronicles seasoned reporting staff says this most recent MARTIN DISGRACE reminds them of an episode from that famous 1980's sitcom Cheers. Bar manager Rebecca Howe convinced a couple of over-worked bar staffers that they were far better off taking a title than they were taking additional pay from the struggling Boston watering-hole. The mismanaging Martin may have just pulled the same ploy on Villa Hills newly-appointed Nuisance Officer.

It's just another reason why Martin should be tossed out on his corrupt and incompetent ass in 152 days.





Monday, June 2, 2014

How Can Martin Justify It?

The Martin Chronicles has been digesting the information Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin announced at last week's City Council meeting. Yes, Martin missed his self-imposed "ten day" deadline to announce the settlement reached to railroad long-serving-and-hugely-popular-Police Chief Dan Goodenough out of his job. In point of fact, the misdirecting Martin missed that self-imposed "ten day" deadline by nearly TWO FULL MONTHS.

So what have we finally learned? We have learned that Martin spent ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS to finish his vendetta against the police department he wrong-headedly blames for his 2007 FORGERY ARREST. Please keep in mind that the ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND TAXPAYER DOLLARS does not include one penny of-sure-to-be-exorbitant-legal fees from Martin's personal-and now City-Attorney Toad V. McMurtry.

The worst part of Martin's incredible WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY? It didn't have to happen. Think back to the costly and embarrassing  "show trial" Martin held only to attempt to publicly disgrace Goodenough. That "show trial" was all the evidence any clear-thinking person needs to understand the vicious and vengeful nature of the diminutive dictator Martin.

The most disgraceful part of the disgraceful "show trial"? Martin took the witness stand and admitted that he had never once sat down with Goodenough to discuss his concerns. Not a single, solitary time over a period of more than three, dreadful years. Zip, nada, zero.

Martin's stupefyingly lame explanation? Well, the mismanaging Martin claimed he was just too busy running his unlicensed handyman business to sit down with Goodenough to deal with issues that ultimately led to the embarrassing, March public spectacle.

The meat-headed Martin went on to complain that he only gets paid $200 a month for his mayor gig. He just didn't have time to talk with the Police Chief. Seriously? He's kidding, right? Hey, given the terrible mess Martin has created over the past three and a half years, we are convinced the miniature mullah is overpaid by that same $200 a month.

What a disgraceful statement of stupidity.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Bye-Bye Now!

The Martin Chronicles beloved publisher is now throwing a huge, Sunday afternnon cook-out, including a fully-stocked bar, to celebrate the recent primary defeat of bilious blowhard Kenton County Judge Executive Steve Arlinghaus. It is a celebration for the ages. We wish our readers could join us for this blow-out!!

But, the best is yet to come.