Almost all of The Martin Chronicles staff has seen "Jim Nolls" in politics more times than they want to remember. These "Jim Nolls" are typically chock full of ego and nearly devoid of relevant talent. "Face time" is their raison d'etre. They are living proof that "The Peter Principle" is a very real phenomena [we're going to make you look that one up for yourself-if you have to].
Invariably, "Jim Nolls" never realize how far in over their heads they are. After a short period of time making a mess in one office, they announce that they feel the need for greater challenge and run for higher office. Then they crash and burn. Or become President of the United States.
Villa Hills is about to say goodbye to one of those "Jim Nolls". And, as fate would have it, this political hack actually happens to be named Jim Noll. Quite a coincidence, huh?
In all fairness, the voters of Villa Hills-who are developing quite a reputation for extremely poor judgment-are very much to blame for the creation of their incarnation of "Jim Noll". How so? Well, believe it or not, they thought they were voting for someone else. No. Seriously. We aren't kidding you. Yes. We know that's asinine. But remember. It's Villa Hills.
The "well-informed" voters of Villa Hills went so far as to make their "Jim Noll" the top vote-getter in the 2010 city council race. Talk about a "Jim Noll" who was doomed from the jump. This poor guy actually believed the voters knew who the (EXPLETIVE) he really was and considered the election results as some kind of meathead mandate.
Jim Noll's two years on Villa Hills City Council were-how best to say it-checkered with gaffes and even a little scandal The gaffes?. He wondered aloud, "What's a caucus?". It's not that he didn't know what a caucus is. It's that he didn't have enough sense to ask one of his colleagues about the meaning of caucus off-microphone.
Then there was the time Noll brought in an "expert" to talk about the many benefits of a time clock for City employees. Noll's "expert" spoke eloquently about the enhanced efficiencies that a time clock brought to the City of Ft. Mitchell. This despite the fact that Ft. Mitchell didn't really have a time clock. Details, schmetails.
Villa Hills' "Jim Noll" once voted for another councilperson's proposed ordinance. No big deal. But here's where it gets weird. Before the ink was dry on that approved ordinance, Noll proposed another ordinance that would effectively nullify the impact of his colleague's freshly-minted ordinance. Now that is (EXPLETIVE) odd. Even for a "Jim Noll".
Scandal? Well, witnesses at that "dunce-den" of a civic club claim that Jim Noll regularly got loaded before council meetings. Better yet, these same witnesses say that Noll would sometimes return to the club for a refill during the meetings. Hey, we have watched malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin mismanage a council meeting. We understand the need for a good, stiff drink. In fact, we understand the need for several good, stiff drinks.
More scandal? Noll was allegedly inordinately-and perhaps inappropriately-focused on one member of the administrative staff. This employee was so distressed that she retained legal counsel. What will come of this? Who knows? It matters not.
Most scandalous? The fact that Jim Noll publicly announced that he would never vote to remove the malfeasant Mayor Martin from office-no matter the evidence. Noll denies that Janet Martin's assistance to his failed State Senate bid was a factor. Let's say it wasn't a factor in Noll's vote. It did still reveal Noll's abject lack of common sense.
Speaking of the rigged removal hearing, we will never forget that last night. Noll was missing in action for more than forty minutes. Finally, he was spotted dressed only in his underwear in the parking lot of River Ridge Elementary. Noll soon joined the hearing and dutifully partnered with the detestable-for-many-many-reasons Mike Pope in voting their pre-arranged "no's" to Martin's removal. Yee-hah!
Noll's new role is that of failed State Senate candidate. Noll will also soon be a former, one-term Villa Hills councilman. We thank God for those facts.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Who Needs Police Protection?
The Martin Chronicles has been pleasantly surprised by the reaction to our revelation yesterday that malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin is joining forces with the detestable, bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus to disband the Villa Hills Police department and contract with the Kenton Kounty Kops for police "protection". Many people are expressing genuine concern. What the heck? There must still be at least a few sane people left in the Baghdad of the Bluegrass after all. Maybe. Possibly. At least we hope so.
What were we expecting? Well, given the results of the last election we believed Villa Hillians would universally hail Shorty's plan. Why? Because the voters punished the four council people who actually believed that people-including Mayor Mighty Mouse-should, well, uh, ummm, er, obey the law. Imagine that?!?! So why would these same voters give a (EXPLETIVE) about police protection? But some seem to.
Regrettably, these voters' concerns come way too late. How so? Well, one thing we have learned over these past two years is that there is almost nothing anyone can do to stop a mayor of a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class from doing anything they want to do. Including breaking the law time and time and time and time again.
Residents were warned that Martin had a vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department more than two years ago. They ignored those warnings. Now the chickens are coming home to roost.
Don't sit back thinking that this new council can stop it from happening. Let's go so far as to say that there are four votes on the new council opposed to the disbanding of the police department. The mendacious Martin could still manufacture the "need" to contract with Kenton County anyway.
How could he do that? Easy. Shorty is required by State statute to provide police protection. Suppose a couple of officers suddenly leave-or are fired. Martin could then say that he has no choice but to contract with another agency. Safety is his first priority after all. Or so he has said. Yes, we know. That is all total BULL(EXPLETIVE). Just like almost everything else The Norwood Sewer Rat says.
The Archduke Arlinghaus said he will provide Villa Hills with better, cheaper police protection. Our publisher sends you this warning. When a pompous, self-important politician like Arlinghaus promises to save you money, bury your wallet in your back yard. And bury it deep.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We are now fairly sure that the insubordinate Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has failed to schedule Open Records and Records Retention training for the City's Administrative staff.]
What were we expecting? Well, given the results of the last election we believed Villa Hillians would universally hail Shorty's plan. Why? Because the voters punished the four council people who actually believed that people-including Mayor Mighty Mouse-should, well, uh, ummm, er, obey the law. Imagine that?!?! So why would these same voters give a (EXPLETIVE) about police protection? But some seem to.
Regrettably, these voters' concerns come way too late. How so? Well, one thing we have learned over these past two years is that there is almost nothing anyone can do to stop a mayor of a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class from doing anything they want to do. Including breaking the law time and time and time and time again.
Residents were warned that Martin had a vendetta against the Villa Hills Police Department more than two years ago. They ignored those warnings. Now the chickens are coming home to roost.
Don't sit back thinking that this new council can stop it from happening. Let's go so far as to say that there are four votes on the new council opposed to the disbanding of the police department. The mendacious Martin could still manufacture the "need" to contract with Kenton County anyway.
How could he do that? Easy. Shorty is required by State statute to provide police protection. Suppose a couple of officers suddenly leave-or are fired. Martin could then say that he has no choice but to contract with another agency. Safety is his first priority after all. Or so he has said. Yes, we know. That is all total BULL(EXPLETIVE). Just like almost everything else The Norwood Sewer Rat says.
The Archduke Arlinghaus said he will provide Villa Hills with better, cheaper police protection. Our publisher sends you this warning. When a pompous, self-important politician like Arlinghaus promises to save you money, bury your wallet in your back yard. And bury it deep.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We are now fairly sure that the insubordinate Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has failed to schedule Open Records and Records Retention training for the City's Administrative staff.]
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Kenton County Uber Alles
The Martin Chronicles has talked to several well-placed sources who tell us that it may not be very long before the residents of Villa Hills feel the consequences of the last election. Actually, the last two elections. Our publisher believes that the majority of voters have clearly proven that this impact is well-deserved. But then our publisher is quite a curmudgeon.
If you watched Monday's Crescent Springs City Council meeting you know what we are writing about. The detestable, bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus came to Crescent Springs in his continued quest for Kenton County Anschluss. By all accounts, Arlinghaus had little difficulty convincing Mayors Collett and Martin to join the march. No surprises there.
For those of you who think that Arlinghaus is simply continuing his power grab for Emergency Dispatch Services herrschaft, you had better wake up and smell the sauerkraut. Arlinghaus is also pushing hard to provide police protection for Villa Hills and Crescent Springs.
Such a move would be perfect for Jim Collett. Most Crescent Springers now at least privately admit that Collett's "Erlanger experiment" has been a miserable failure. Contracting for police protection with Arlinghaus' County cops has to be better, right? Erlanger is only next door. Crescent Springs is in Kenton County. It makes perfect sense. At least to Jim Collett.
What about the malevolent Martin? What better way to complete his vendetta against the law enforcement agency that arrested him for forgery? Shorty had no luck against them in court. Cutting the number of police officers by 25% wasn't enough to run off the rest of the dedicated professionals. So what's left? Well, he can simply blow up the whole department and join Arlinghaus' drive for lebensraum.
There is more evidence that Villa Hills' police protection may soon be provided by Boss Arlinghaus. What is it? We have learned that Shorty has asked the re-animated Mary Koenig to head his "Safety" Committee. Koenig was very vocal about her plans to "get rid of" the Villa Hills PD during the last election. She is now in a position to help make that happen. The Norwood Sewer Rat knows he has Koenig's vote to disband the PD. He only needs two more to get it done. That will be a cakewalk.
Maybe the brain dead hillbilly who posted his solution to Villa Hills' burgeoning crime problem on Facebook a few months ago was on to something after all. What was that hayseed's solution? Have every Villa Hillian "gun up". But don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes.
Jack: I heard that the only people who don't like Steve Arlinghaus are the one who actually know him.
Jill: That's not true, Jack. I don't know Arlinghaus at all and I hate his guts.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We are starting to suspect that inept Interim City Clerk Sue Bree isn't actually looking for Open Records and Records Retention training for the City's administrative staff.]
If you watched Monday's Crescent Springs City Council meeting you know what we are writing about. The detestable, bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus came to Crescent Springs in his continued quest for Kenton County Anschluss. By all accounts, Arlinghaus had little difficulty convincing Mayors Collett and Martin to join the march. No surprises there.
For those of you who think that Arlinghaus is simply continuing his power grab for Emergency Dispatch Services herrschaft, you had better wake up and smell the sauerkraut. Arlinghaus is also pushing hard to provide police protection for Villa Hills and Crescent Springs.
Such a move would be perfect for Jim Collett. Most Crescent Springers now at least privately admit that Collett's "Erlanger experiment" has been a miserable failure. Contracting for police protection with Arlinghaus' County cops has to be better, right? Erlanger is only next door. Crescent Springs is in Kenton County. It makes perfect sense. At least to Jim Collett.
What about the malevolent Martin? What better way to complete his vendetta against the law enforcement agency that arrested him for forgery? Shorty had no luck against them in court. Cutting the number of police officers by 25% wasn't enough to run off the rest of the dedicated professionals. So what's left? Well, he can simply blow up the whole department and join Arlinghaus' drive for lebensraum.
There is more evidence that Villa Hills' police protection may soon be provided by Boss Arlinghaus. What is it? We have learned that Shorty has asked the re-animated Mary Koenig to head his "Safety" Committee. Koenig was very vocal about her plans to "get rid of" the Villa Hills PD during the last election. She is now in a position to help make that happen. The Norwood Sewer Rat knows he has Koenig's vote to disband the PD. He only needs two more to get it done. That will be a cakewalk.
Maybe the brain dead hillbilly who posted his solution to Villa Hills' burgeoning crime problem on Facebook a few months ago was on to something after all. What was that hayseed's solution? Have every Villa Hillian "gun up". But don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes.
ARLINGHAUS AKTUALISIEREN
A couple of our reporters were having lunch when they couldn't help but hear a discussion of our breaking news. They overheard the people at the next table discussing the bilious blowhard County Boss Steve Arlinghaus.Jack: I heard that the only people who don't like Steve Arlinghaus are the one who actually know him.
Jill: That's not true, Jack. I don't know Arlinghaus at all and I hate his guts.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We are starting to suspect that inept Interim City Clerk Sue Bree isn't actually looking for Open Records and Records Retention training for the City's administrative staff.]
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Who Will Mike Duncan's Replacement Be?
Well-placed sources tell The Martin Chronicles that long-serving City Attorney Mike Duncan is on the verge of being jettisoned. We are told that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin can then scapegoat Duncan for the astronomical legal bills that have been rung up over Shorty's Reign of Error. At least for awhile.
So who would be brought in to replace Duncan? Observers speculate that Martin has been auditioning for a new attorney for some time. Sources have given us their potential candidates.
Jim Noll - Yes, we know that he is probably a long shot. It would not be the least bit unfair to describe Noll's one term on council as an embarrassment. Besides, Martin has already gotten what he needed from Noll. What? Noll's agreement to ignore any and all evidence of misconduct and neglect of duty presented in Shorty's removal hearing. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Nick Birkenhauer - Nick has his foot in the door thanks to Noll. He has re-written the City personnel policy in order to make it far easier for Shorty to screw everyone after January 1.
Bobby Winters - Bobby is the hack Martin hired to railroad his assistant City Clerk. He is just the kind of thug Martin would like to have around.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Still no word whether incompetent Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has secured Open Records and Records Retention training for the Administrative staff.]
So who would be brought in to replace Duncan? Observers speculate that Martin has been auditioning for a new attorney for some time. Sources have given us their potential candidates.
Jim Noll - Yes, we know that he is probably a long shot. It would not be the least bit unfair to describe Noll's one term on council as an embarrassment. Besides, Martin has already gotten what he needed from Noll. What? Noll's agreement to ignore any and all evidence of misconduct and neglect of duty presented in Shorty's removal hearing. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Nick Birkenhauer - Nick has his foot in the door thanks to Noll. He has re-written the City personnel policy in order to make it far easier for Shorty to screw everyone after January 1.
Bobby Winters - Bobby is the hack Martin hired to railroad his assistant City Clerk. He is just the kind of thug Martin would like to have around.
- And the odds on favorite -
Toad McMurtry - This high-priced whore would be a natural. Oily. Smarmy. Insincere. In other words, perfect for Martin. Boy, wouldn't that be a hoot. Besides, at least then Toad would get paid.[EDITOR'S NOTE: Still no word whether incompetent Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has secured Open Records and Records Retention training for the Administrative staff.]
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thanksgiving Leftovers
The Martin Chronicles staff is just now beginning to recover from its Tryptophan-induced funk. To a person, we had a tremendous Thanksgiving. But we are now back to work.
The way we see it, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills has settled in to its own version of a funk as well. The last election resulted in a whole new-or at least reanimated-cast of characters entering the scene beginning in January. It is going to be a great deal of fun watching it all unfold. Our prediction? The next two years are going to provide solid proof that the old expression, "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" is exactly right.
Yes, we know. The new council-well, most of them at least-come in to office with the very best of intentions. A new day is dawning. A new beginning. Turning the page. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. A fresh start. The healing has begun. Forward. Move forward. Moving forward. Moving far forward. Okay. Enough of the mindless drivel.
You see, there is one major problem with all of the preceding pointless pap. Do you really have to ask what it is? The voters removed everything. Oh, except for the one thing that needs to go. That would be the aforementioned malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.
We can only guess that the tri-cornered hat-wearing, home-schooling Liberty Leaguers, the inexplicably over-confident members of the St. Joe's Heavy Drinking Men's Society and the pinheads from the Civic Club are convinced that Shorty will no longer consider himself "the City's CEO". They must believe that The Little Man From Norwood will no longer see everything as solely his decision. They have to think that The Norwood Sewer Rat will morph from the mud-slinging autocrat into a participative manager who has the self-confidence to consider the opinion's of others. In other words, these enclaves are full of (EXPLETIVE).
The good news? We are already hot on the trail of some incredible stories. We will report them. You will decide. One local quipster aptly describes Villa Hills' current predicament.
"Even after the election and Thanksgiving, Villa Hills still finds itself with TWO MORE YEARS OF A LEFT-OVER TURKEY."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We cannot confirm whether Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has yet to successfully locate any Open Records or Records Retention training for the City administrative employees. Ms. Bree should consider contacting 1-800-328-7448.]
The way we see it, malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Villa Hills has settled in to its own version of a funk as well. The last election resulted in a whole new-or at least reanimated-cast of characters entering the scene beginning in January. It is going to be a great deal of fun watching it all unfold. Our prediction? The next two years are going to provide solid proof that the old expression, "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" is exactly right.
Yes, we know. The new council-well, most of them at least-come in to office with the very best of intentions. A new day is dawning. A new beginning. Turning the page. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. A fresh start. The healing has begun. Forward. Move forward. Moving forward. Moving far forward. Okay. Enough of the mindless drivel.
You see, there is one major problem with all of the preceding pointless pap. Do you really have to ask what it is? The voters removed everything. Oh, except for the one thing that needs to go. That would be the aforementioned malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin.
We can only guess that the tri-cornered hat-wearing, home-schooling Liberty Leaguers, the inexplicably over-confident members of the St. Joe's Heavy Drinking Men's Society and the pinheads from the Civic Club are convinced that Shorty will no longer consider himself "the City's CEO". They must believe that The Little Man From Norwood will no longer see everything as solely his decision. They have to think that The Norwood Sewer Rat will morph from the mud-slinging autocrat into a participative manager who has the self-confidence to consider the opinion's of others. In other words, these enclaves are full of (EXPLETIVE).
The good news? We are already hot on the trail of some incredible stories. We will report them. You will decide. One local quipster aptly describes Villa Hills' current predicament.
"Even after the election and Thanksgiving, Villa Hills still finds itself with TWO MORE YEARS OF A LEFT-OVER TURKEY."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We cannot confirm whether Interim City Clerk Sue Bree has yet to successfully locate any Open Records or Records Retention training for the City administrative employees. Ms. Bree should consider contacting 1-800-328-7448.]
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Did Toad Land Another Gig?
The Martin Chronicles is following up on an anonymous tip. Namely that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry has taken on yet another mayoral client. Who could it be this time? Our tipster reminded us that the mayor of Walton has been in the news recently. Hmmmm.
Of course you know what tactics Toad will employ if he is hired. It worked for Martin. So why wouldn't Toad's antics work in Walton? Here's how it would go:
And of course, The Number One Reason that the Walton Mayor should be set free:
Of course you know what tactics Toad will employ if he is hired. It worked for Martin. So why wouldn't Toad's antics work in Walton? Here's how it would go:
- The Walton mayor is the target of a witch hunt
- The previous Walton mayor didn't leave the current Walton mayor a paper clip or Post-It Note
- The Walton council refuses to work with the Walton mayor
- The Walton council is made up of a bunch of bullies
- The Walton council just wants to blame the Walton mayor for breaking the law
- 75% of Walton's residents support the Walton mayor and don't care what laws the Walton mayor may have broken
- The Walton Police Chief is a liar
- The Walton Police Chief failed to tell the Walton mayor that the Walton mayor wasn't allowed to break the law
- The Walton Detective is a baboon
- The Walton Detective planted evidence to incriminate the Walton mayor
- Walton council members then tampered with that planted evidence
- The Walton City Clerk is an incompetent boob
- The Walton Assistant City Clerk has it out for the Walton mayor
- The temporary Walton City employee messed everything up
- The Walton mayor left church early to unclog the Walton mayor's neighbor's toilet
- The Walton mayor does charity work in some godforsaken Third World country
And of course, The Number One Reason that the Walton Mayor should be set free:
- The Walton Mayor didn't know then. But the Walton Mayor knows now.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Council Meeting Wednesday
The Martin Chronicles has been listening to the predictions about the council meeting scheduled for Wednesday night. Some predict there will be no meeting because the next day is Thanksgiving.
Others are expecting the hillbilly lynchmob to show up and hold what has been described as a "gloatfeast" at the expense of the outgoing councilmembers. That would be truly classless. As Jed Clampett used to say, ridge runners who would pull such a stunt would be "lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut". Which means it could certainly happen. Look, we don't call these knuckleheads Martin's hillbilly lynchmob for nothing.
Either way, most of the outgoing incumbents should keep their chins up. Standing up for the law and what is right is nothing to be ashamed of-whether a significant block of Villa Hills voters grasp that or not.
Four of the council served the residents very well for multiple terms. They accomplished many positive things. The voters certainly picked an odd way to recognize their years of dedicated service. The election results speak volumes about the ongoing decline of a City that was voted Northern Kentucky's finest just a couple of years ago.
The four council people who were targeted in the last election have nothing to be ashamed of. It is Martin who should be ashamed for what has happened.
But Shorty is clueless.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Lest we forget, Happy Thanksgiving to our growing audience. Hey, it could always be a lot worse!]
Others are expecting the hillbilly lynchmob to show up and hold what has been described as a "gloatfeast" at the expense of the outgoing councilmembers. That would be truly classless. As Jed Clampett used to say, ridge runners who would pull such a stunt would be "lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut". Which means it could certainly happen. Look, we don't call these knuckleheads Martin's hillbilly lynchmob for nothing.
Either way, most of the outgoing incumbents should keep their chins up. Standing up for the law and what is right is nothing to be ashamed of-whether a significant block of Villa Hills voters grasp that or not.
Four of the council served the residents very well for multiple terms. They accomplished many positive things. The voters certainly picked an odd way to recognize their years of dedicated service. The election results speak volumes about the ongoing decline of a City that was voted Northern Kentucky's finest just a couple of years ago.
The four council people who were targeted in the last election have nothing to be ashamed of. It is Martin who should be ashamed for what has happened.
But Shorty is clueless.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Lest we forget, Happy Thanksgiving to our growing audience. Hey, it could always be a lot worse!]
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Stand By For More Fun
The Martin Chronicles is busy tracking down several story leads. you will want to keep an eye out for all of the fast breaking news on the wacky world of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. It's getting wackier by the hour.
We previously told you that Martin really, really, really did not need a visit from the Labor Department. Well, he got one any way. Given the heated "discussion" that occurred between Shorty and the Labor Department representative, it did not go well at all for The Little CEO.
Martin's defense for refusing to pay employees for time worked? We are told that Martin accused certain employees of falsifying their time sheets. Pretty serious allegation there Shorty. We hope you have proof.
Again, Martin is assuming his patented "the whole world will do absolutely anything to get me" mode. If he continues to foolishly throw mud in every direction that may finally end up becoming true.
Stay tuned for more on this and several other developing stories.
We previously told you that Martin really, really, really did not need a visit from the Labor Department. Well, he got one any way. Given the heated "discussion" that occurred between Shorty and the Labor Department representative, it did not go well at all for The Little CEO.
Martin's defense for refusing to pay employees for time worked? We are told that Martin accused certain employees of falsifying their time sheets. Pretty serious allegation there Shorty. We hope you have proof.
Again, Martin is assuming his patented "the whole world will do absolutely anything to get me" mode. If he continues to foolishly throw mud in every direction that may finally end up becoming true.
Stay tuned for more on this and several other developing stories.
Looking Ahead: Part Three
The Martin Chronicles has been truly amazed at how forthcoming the snitches inside the Civic Club have been since the election. We are also at least mildly surprised by how many people are actually happy that "The Dead Pecker Row's Choice" for a seat on council was unsuccessful in his LIBELOUS run-at least for the moment. More about that in a future post.
Some of the information the snitches send is expected. Some of the scoops they reveal are shocking-even for a dishonest dipstick like Martin-and in need of further investigation. Either way, we appreciate the "underground" support that is leaking out of what is the equivalent of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's "Kremlin". Hey, it's where almost all of the really crazy plans are hatched!
So what is the latest? Our sources tell us that The Little Man From Norwood is busily digging up dirt on some of his new "friends". You know. "The six freshmen". One observer humorously described Martin's scandal-mongering as "dumpster-diving". What a visual that is.
So what is the little fella looking for? Here are four things that everyone reported:
Look, we don't care what dirt Martin uncovers. It doesn't change anything he's done. He's done the same nasty, dirtbag stuff now for years. It provides him with no absolution. But it sure could make for an interesting next two years.
Oh, there is a whole lot more. But we're going to save it for now.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Finally, a council Martin can work over, er, uh, we mean work with.]
Some of the information the snitches send is expected. Some of the scoops they reveal are shocking-even for a dishonest dipstick like Martin-and in need of further investigation. Either way, we appreciate the "underground" support that is leaking out of what is the equivalent of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's "Kremlin". Hey, it's where almost all of the really crazy plans are hatched!
So what is the latest? Our sources tell us that The Little Man From Norwood is busily digging up dirt on some of his new "friends". You know. "The six freshmen". One observer humorously described Martin's scandal-mongering as "dumpster-diving". What a visual that is.
So what is the little fella looking for? Here are four things that everyone reported:
- Shorty seems very interested in the role one incoming council person played when he was assisting the Civic Club with their financials a few years ago. You do remember what happened with the Civic Club financials a few years ago, right? Evidently so does "The Superior".
- Martin also wants to know more about why another incoming council person seems to suddenly develop uncontrollable urges to gorge on Twinkies, Ho-Hos, ice cream and potato chips. Could it be that Shorty wants to have snacks available at the council meetings? Is he looking for a business partner? Or is it something else?
- The unlicensed electrician has also been trying to get someone to explain to him how it's possible that one of the new council people couldn't even seem to remember what it was they did to earn a living when asked about that at the Civic Club candidate fiasco. Was it a simple case of nerves or too many slain brain cells?
- We also hear that The Little CEO wants to learn everything he can about a reanimated dinosaur who will be returning to council in January. He wonders aloud why the reanimated dinosaur's plans to "fundamentally transform" Villa Hills went haywire a dozen years ago. We are told Shorty wants to make sure he gets it right.
Look, we don't care what dirt Martin uncovers. It doesn't change anything he's done. He's done the same nasty, dirtbag stuff now for years. It provides him with no absolution. But it sure could make for an interesting next two years.
Oh, there is a whole lot more. But we're going to save it for now.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Finally, a council Martin can work over, er, uh, we mean work with.]
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Looking Ahead: Part Two
The Martin Chronicles continues its look ahead in to the next-and we hope last-two years of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's Reign of Error. As we previously admitted, The Martin Chronicles wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Martin is able to con his City's voters yet again, managing to get re-elected. Hey, the-to use high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's unfortunate term-baboons at the Civic Club love The Little Man From Norwood! That's what makes this "blogging stuff" so much darn fun.
Today's post deals with the fate of the Villa Hills Police Department. There are a few ways this could go. Remember, we are talking about the mendacious, mismanaging Martin. Anything-even the craziest thing anyone can imagine-is a distinct possibility. C'mon man, it's Martin!
There are some observers who are convinced that Martin will agree to hire a long-overdue and desperately-needed eighth police officer-provided "the six freshmen" agree to vote to overturn the Civil Service ordinance. How could "the six freshmen" possibly turn down such a deal? They couldn't. Even if they have some vague clue of what strings Martin has attached to the deal.
So what might these strings be? Some speculate that a former Crescent Springs Chief of Police might be the eighth officer Martin hires. This despite the fact that this potential new hire is now many, many years past his ability to effectively meet the day-to-day requirements of a patrol officer.
So why would Martin hire someone like that? There is more than one reason. (1) This former Chief of Police is very good friends with at least one of the incoming council people. (2) He would immediately become Martin's de facto Chief of Police and-better yet-hatchet man. (3) Hiring this individual would eliminate a potentially risky head-on confrontation with Police Chief Dan Goodenough. Despite the brainless hillbillies who write Facebook posts calling Goodenough a "CROOKED ASS", the Chief is still popular in the community. Let's face it. Martin has no political capital left to burn in an ugly confrontation with the police.
Other pundits are convinced Martin will press ahead with a confrontation anyway. They believe Martin has completely misread the results of the recent election. He is "The CEO" and "The Superior" after all. The observers point out that Martin may have been setting the stage for some drastic moves when he and his high-price whore Toad McMurtry called Chief Goodenough "a liar" and accused another officer of committing major felonies.
Remember the first Special Meeting back in September? The one where Martin used the heavy hand of a mayor of a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class to put a temporary kibosh on a removal hearing? Of course you do. One of Martin's chief henchman was not the least bit shy about openly discussing Martin's long-held desire to disband the Villa Hills Police Department and contracting for coverage with Erlanger or another City at that meeting. He even described that move as "Martin's plan".There is really no reason to believe Martin has changed his mind about that.
These observers also remind us that the same person who convinced another Villa Hills mayor that it was a really great idea to fire Police Chief Corky Brown about a dozen years ago was returned to council by the voters of Villa Hills eight days ago. Several sources tell us that this councilwoman comes back with a well-stocked agenda of score-settling. Haywire history may be well on its way to repeating itself.
And the rest of "the six freshmen"? Whether these new council members are well--intentioned or not makes little difference. In fact, all six will quickly learn that there is next to nothing they can do to stop any action that Martin chooses to take regarding the police department. The last two years prove that loudly and clearly.
Using Martin's own words. we are fairly convinced that when it comes to the Police Department, you will continue to get EXACTLY what you voted for.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Our reporters have tracked down 5 potential new lawsuits that are likely to be filed against the mendacious Martin and a few other incredibly stupid hillbillies over the next several months. As Martin said during his removal hearing testimony-the second time, you know, when he recovered the memory he didn't have just two days earlier-"I didn't hire an attorney because you hear about possible lawsuits all the time he-he-he-he-he-he-he". He-he-he indeed.]
Today's post deals with the fate of the Villa Hills Police Department. There are a few ways this could go. Remember, we are talking about the mendacious, mismanaging Martin. Anything-even the craziest thing anyone can imagine-is a distinct possibility. C'mon man, it's Martin!
There are some observers who are convinced that Martin will agree to hire a long-overdue and desperately-needed eighth police officer-provided "the six freshmen" agree to vote to overturn the Civil Service ordinance. How could "the six freshmen" possibly turn down such a deal? They couldn't. Even if they have some vague clue of what strings Martin has attached to the deal.
So what might these strings be? Some speculate that a former Crescent Springs Chief of Police might be the eighth officer Martin hires. This despite the fact that this potential new hire is now many, many years past his ability to effectively meet the day-to-day requirements of a patrol officer.
So why would Martin hire someone like that? There is more than one reason. (1) This former Chief of Police is very good friends with at least one of the incoming council people. (2) He would immediately become Martin's de facto Chief of Police and-better yet-hatchet man. (3) Hiring this individual would eliminate a potentially risky head-on confrontation with Police Chief Dan Goodenough. Despite the brainless hillbillies who write Facebook posts calling Goodenough a "CROOKED ASS", the Chief is still popular in the community. Let's face it. Martin has no political capital left to burn in an ugly confrontation with the police.
Other pundits are convinced Martin will press ahead with a confrontation anyway. They believe Martin has completely misread the results of the recent election. He is "The CEO" and "The Superior" after all. The observers point out that Martin may have been setting the stage for some drastic moves when he and his high-price whore Toad McMurtry called Chief Goodenough "a liar" and accused another officer of committing major felonies.
Remember the first Special Meeting back in September? The one where Martin used the heavy hand of a mayor of a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class to put a temporary kibosh on a removal hearing? Of course you do. One of Martin's chief henchman was not the least bit shy about openly discussing Martin's long-held desire to disband the Villa Hills Police Department and contracting for coverage with Erlanger or another City at that meeting. He even described that move as "Martin's plan".There is really no reason to believe Martin has changed his mind about that.
These observers also remind us that the same person who convinced another Villa Hills mayor that it was a really great idea to fire Police Chief Corky Brown about a dozen years ago was returned to council by the voters of Villa Hills eight days ago. Several sources tell us that this councilwoman comes back with a well-stocked agenda of score-settling. Haywire history may be well on its way to repeating itself.
And the rest of "the six freshmen"? Whether these new council members are well--intentioned or not makes little difference. In fact, all six will quickly learn that there is next to nothing they can do to stop any action that Martin chooses to take regarding the police department. The last two years prove that loudly and clearly.
Using Martin's own words. we are fairly convinced that when it comes to the Police Department, you will continue to get EXACTLY what you voted for.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Our reporters have tracked down 5 potential new lawsuits that are likely to be filed against the mendacious Martin and a few other incredibly stupid hillbillies over the next several months. As Martin said during his removal hearing testimony-the second time, you know, when he recovered the memory he didn't have just two days earlier-"I didn't hire an attorney because you hear about possible lawsuits all the time he-he-he-he-he-he-he". He-he-he indeed.]
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Stay Tuned For Part Two Tomorrow
The Martin Chronicles is spending some time in the aftermath of the recent local election to take a look ahead. We have already reported to you about the Civil Service Commission and the predictions that a competent City Clerk will finally be hired. Our reporters are digging into several "aftermath stories", including:
[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is truly amazing how cooperative our sources at the civic club have been since the election.]
- What are Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's post-election plans for the police department?
- Just how far will the consolidation push go?
- What will happen to the lawsuits Martin has against the six outgoing councilmembers and the taxpayers?
- How is the power struggle for a "post-Martin" Villa Hills shaping up?
- Is there a surprise resignation and appointment in the offing?
- Who will the next City Attorney be?
- Is a truly stupid Facebook post about to trigger yet another lawsuit?
- Just who is Martin digging up dirt on, and why?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is truly amazing how cooperative our sources at the civic club have been since the election.]
Monday, November 12, 2012
Looking Ahead: Part One
The Martin Chronicles has spent these last few post-election days talking to several people who have proven to be in-the-know about many of the issues swirling around Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin in particular and Villa Hills in general. Our mission? To make some prognostications about what will take place over the next two years. We hope-but are in no way convinced- that these next two years are the final two years of a one-term Martin misadministration. Hey, it is Villa Hills after all. They did elect the little joker.
So what do many people see happening first? Well, the consensus is that Martin will ask the entirely new council to disband the Civil Service Commission. Given the facts that (1) Martin has been inexplicably unsuccessful working with the Civil Service Commission and that (2) the six new members on council will want to start off on a good note, most expect "the six freshmen" to grant Martin's request.
Many pundits think that isn't necessarily a bad move. Why? Because Martin testified under oath that the interim City Clerk is simply not up to the job. In fact, Martin made the case that the interim City Clerk is dangerously incompetent. And even that is being very kind. Eliminating the Civil Service Commission frees Martin up to quickly hire a real City Clerk of his choosing-pending what will surely be an easy approval by the new council-to come in and solve the open records and document retention problems that continue to plague the City.
Some wonder how many truly talented City Clerk candidates will step forward given the risk of damage to their reputation. Why? Martin has spent almost all of the last two years blaming everybody else for every single thing that has gone wrong. And, as our readers know, a whole lot has gone wrong.
The result? The reputations of elected officials, appointed officials, contract employees, police officers, clerks and public works employees have been tarnished in a very ugly way. All the while Martin portrays himself as an oddly disengaged, non-participant in the turmoil of the past two years. According to Martin his only problem has been that nobody will accept his management style.
You don't say?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: In response to numerous emails and phone calls we have received over the past hour-do not let your heart be troubled. The Martin Chronicles fully intends to give the outgoing incumbents their proper send-off. Something the voters of Villa Hills didn't really do.]
So what do many people see happening first? Well, the consensus is that Martin will ask the entirely new council to disband the Civil Service Commission. Given the facts that (1) Martin has been inexplicably unsuccessful working with the Civil Service Commission and that (2) the six new members on council will want to start off on a good note, most expect "the six freshmen" to grant Martin's request.
Many pundits think that isn't necessarily a bad move. Why? Because Martin testified under oath that the interim City Clerk is simply not up to the job. In fact, Martin made the case that the interim City Clerk is dangerously incompetent. And even that is being very kind. Eliminating the Civil Service Commission frees Martin up to quickly hire a real City Clerk of his choosing-pending what will surely be an easy approval by the new council-to come in and solve the open records and document retention problems that continue to plague the City.
Some wonder how many truly talented City Clerk candidates will step forward given the risk of damage to their reputation. Why? Martin has spent almost all of the last two years blaming everybody else for every single thing that has gone wrong. And, as our readers know, a whole lot has gone wrong.
The result? The reputations of elected officials, appointed officials, contract employees, police officers, clerks and public works employees have been tarnished in a very ugly way. All the while Martin portrays himself as an oddly disengaged, non-participant in the turmoil of the past two years. According to Martin his only problem has been that nobody will accept his management style.
You don't say?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: In response to numerous emails and phone calls we have received over the past hour-do not let your heart be troubled. The Martin Chronicles fully intends to give the outgoing incumbents their proper send-off. Something the voters of Villa Hills didn't really do.]
Friday, November 9, 2012
A Path Of Destruction
The Martin Chronicles confesses that we enjoy lampooning and lambasting the corrupt and incompetent Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. We are fully aware that Martin's debased behavior sometimes makes our job the rough equivalent of shooting anesthetized fish in a barrel. But we intend to keep doing it anyway.
The election day victory celebrations are over. (Most of) the yard signs are gone. The confetti has been swept away and the empty beer cans have been put in the recycling bin. Now reality returns. Here is that reality. The first two years of Martin's Reign of Error have left a wide path of destruction in its wake.
How did this happen? Much of it was the result of Martin and his pal outgoing-councilman Mike Pope egging each other on like Beavis and Butthead. Websites and flyers full of faslehoods. Vicious rumors.
All of these dishonest efforts have had a corrosive effect on the City. And, there is a shocking casualty list. The first casualty of Martin and Pope's efforts was THE TRUTH. But that was just the beginning. Some of the other casualties will eventually recover. Some never will. Let's touch on just a few of those other casualties.
Martin and his high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's callous efforts to cover Shorty's tracks during the removal hearing may have permanently damaged the careers and reputations of a number of Villa Hills police officers. It has gotten so bad that brain-dead hillbillies are calling Chief Goodenough "CROOKED ASS" on social networking sites. Neither Martin nor McMurtry could care less. Not yet anyway.
Martin and Toad McMurtry also painted a picture of a City government stocked with untalented, unmotivated, untrained employees. Martin and Toad McMurtry excused away many of the things that happened under Shorty's leadership as the result of employees who simply didn't know or care or understand how to follow the law. Martin has been in charge for two miserable years. When does he begin to train them? We are told interim City Clerk Sue Bree is looking into it.
Martin and-to use Toad McMurtry's unfortunate expression-the baboons from the Civic Club have literally spent years trashing the reputations of elected officials who served with distinction and were guilty of nothing more than expecting Martin to obey the same laws as everyone else. That defamatory effort came to a conclusion when four incumbents were voted out of office three days ago. The good news? Martin is soon going to understand what people mean when they say, "be careful what you ask for".
Once-universally respected senior members of the community sold their souls to save Shorty. One resident went so far as to lie to Special Counsel, telling him that Martin did not charge for electrical work he performed. This after earlier telling law enforcement officials that Martin did charge for the work. While it is a shame, this resident made the personal decision to lie.
Long-standing friendships have been destroyed over differing views of Martin. Some people are still fooled by his charitable golfing elf facade. Others see right through it. As if the fate of an unremarkable, itinerant handyman really matters. All of this. For Martin? Maybe you. But not us.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Given the long list of people who have been greatly harmed just by virtue of coming in close proximity of the malfeasant Martin, Jim Cahill, Amy Balson, Rod Baehner, Holly Isenhour, Brian Wischer and the retread Mary Koening better have their eyes WIDE OPEN come January 1.]
The election day victory celebrations are over. (Most of) the yard signs are gone. The confetti has been swept away and the empty beer cans have been put in the recycling bin. Now reality returns. Here is that reality. The first two years of Martin's Reign of Error have left a wide path of destruction in its wake.
How did this happen? Much of it was the result of Martin and his pal outgoing-councilman Mike Pope egging each other on like Beavis and Butthead. Websites and flyers full of faslehoods. Vicious rumors.
All of these dishonest efforts have had a corrosive effect on the City. And, there is a shocking casualty list. The first casualty of Martin and Pope's efforts was THE TRUTH. But that was just the beginning. Some of the other casualties will eventually recover. Some never will. Let's touch on just a few of those other casualties.
Martin and his high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's callous efforts to cover Shorty's tracks during the removal hearing may have permanently damaged the careers and reputations of a number of Villa Hills police officers. It has gotten so bad that brain-dead hillbillies are calling Chief Goodenough "CROOKED ASS" on social networking sites. Neither Martin nor McMurtry could care less. Not yet anyway.
Martin and Toad McMurtry also painted a picture of a City government stocked with untalented, unmotivated, untrained employees. Martin and Toad McMurtry excused away many of the things that happened under Shorty's leadership as the result of employees who simply didn't know or care or understand how to follow the law. Martin has been in charge for two miserable years. When does he begin to train them? We are told interim City Clerk Sue Bree is looking into it.
Martin and-to use Toad McMurtry's unfortunate expression-the baboons from the Civic Club have literally spent years trashing the reputations of elected officials who served with distinction and were guilty of nothing more than expecting Martin to obey the same laws as everyone else. That defamatory effort came to a conclusion when four incumbents were voted out of office three days ago. The good news? Martin is soon going to understand what people mean when they say, "be careful what you ask for".
Once-universally respected senior members of the community sold their souls to save Shorty. One resident went so far as to lie to Special Counsel, telling him that Martin did not charge for electrical work he performed. This after earlier telling law enforcement officials that Martin did charge for the work. While it is a shame, this resident made the personal decision to lie.
Long-standing friendships have been destroyed over differing views of Martin. Some people are still fooled by his charitable golfing elf facade. Others see right through it. As if the fate of an unremarkable, itinerant handyman really matters. All of this. For Martin? Maybe you. But not us.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Given the long list of people who have been greatly harmed just by virtue of coming in close proximity of the malfeasant Martin, Jim Cahill, Amy Balson, Rod Baehner, Holly Isenhour, Brian Wischer and the retread Mary Koening better have their eyes WIDE OPEN come January 1.]
Thursday, November 8, 2012
I Didn't Know Then. But I Know Now.
The Martin Chronicles doesn't really believe that Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin thinks he is a greater legal mind than Clarence Darrow. He believes a lot of very weird things. We aren't kidding now. Martin believes many, many, many very weird things. Have you ever talked to the guy? C'mon!
And Shorty sometimes makes comments that could lead one to conclude that his next step should be to don one of the nine robes on the Supreme Court of the United States. But we really don't think he believes that. At least we are pretty sure he doesn't. Well, maybe he does. But we sure hope he doesn't.
So what's going on in Martinville? He might say he didn't know that he couldn't illegally dock pay then. But he knows that now.
We have confirmed leaked information from deep inside the overflowing bowels of the Martin misadministration that The Little Man From Norwood has caved in. He's done a U-Turn. He's crawfishin'. He's cutting and running. He's doing a major backflip. How so? Well, we are told that Shorty is reversing field. On what? On his retaliation against the City employees whose pay he illegally docked for daring to testify at the removal hearing.
We have been told that Martin has even agreed to pay at least one employee who didn't put in for any pay for the time they spent testifying. Perhaps it's the "healing process"? More likely it is the realization that one of very last things Shorty needs now is a visit from the Labor Department. Or, worse yet, a summons to appear before Judge Summe yet again.
You know what would be interesting? It would be interesting to confirm whether or not Martin was consistent in his illegal docking of employee pay. Did he dock the pay of interim City Clerk Sue Bree and whatever-you-are-paying-her-to-do-now MARY HARDMAN for their time spent testifying? We'll let you know when we get the answer.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Thank you to everyone who visited our plucky little site yesterday. You helped us absolutely shatter our one-day readership record. We are racing to EIGHTY THOUSAND!!!]
And Shorty sometimes makes comments that could lead one to conclude that his next step should be to don one of the nine robes on the Supreme Court of the United States. But we really don't think he believes that. At least we are pretty sure he doesn't. Well, maybe he does. But we sure hope he doesn't.
So what's going on in Martinville? He might say he didn't know that he couldn't illegally dock pay then. But he knows that now.
We have confirmed leaked information from deep inside the overflowing bowels of the Martin misadministration that The Little Man From Norwood has caved in. He's done a U-Turn. He's crawfishin'. He's cutting and running. He's doing a major backflip. How so? Well, we are told that Shorty is reversing field. On what? On his retaliation against the City employees whose pay he illegally docked for daring to testify at the removal hearing.
We have been told that Martin has even agreed to pay at least one employee who didn't put in for any pay for the time they spent testifying. Perhaps it's the "healing process"? More likely it is the realization that one of very last things Shorty needs now is a visit from the Labor Department. Or, worse yet, a summons to appear before Judge Summe yet again.
You know what would be interesting? It would be interesting to confirm whether or not Martin was consistent in his illegal docking of employee pay. Did he dock the pay of interim City Clerk Sue Bree and whatever-you-are-paying-her-to-do-now MARY HARDMAN for their time spent testifying? We'll let you know when we get the answer.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Thank you to everyone who visited our plucky little site yesterday. You helped us absolutely shatter our one-day readership record. We are racing to EIGHTY THOUSAND!!!]
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
The Morning After
The Martin Chronicles phone lines have been burning and email boxes overflowing with readers requests for our views on the Villa Hills election results. We reserve the right to amend the views we express today at a later date.
First, we extend congratulations to the winners of the 2012 Villa Hills City Council race. We are very cautiously optimistic that Jim Cahill, Amy Balson, Rod Baehner, Holly Isenhour, Brian Wischer and yes, even the retread Mary Koenig will mostly do what they promised and come in to office in January taking a business-like approach to the task assigned to them by the voters. It will be no easy job.
We also want to thank the four incumbents who lost their re-election bids last night for their years of dedicated service to the residents of Villa Hills. All four of these gentlemen deserved a far better fate than what took place last night. These four men have now been added to the long list of casualties of malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's mayhem and mismanagement.
We believe the voters in Villa Hills actually expressed dissatisfaction with virtually everything "status quo" last night, including the mendacious Martin. Let us explain why we believe that, again reserving the right to amend our views at a later date.
While the voters did not have the chance to vote out Martin yesterday, they did deny him the one thing he obviously wanted the most, a "Councilman" Dale Schaber. This despite the fact that Martin spent many a day traveling door-to-door promoting his pal. This despite the fact that the boys from the Civic Club's Dead Pecker's Row distributed Schaber signs all over the City. This despite the show put on for Dale at the Civic Club "candidate forum".
We think the voters consciously decided not to give Martin what he wanted most. We think that was the voter's (only) way to repudiate Martin. At least until 2014. That may or may not bode well for the City's future. Martin has two years to deceive the public all over again, after all. We'll have to wait. And we'll have to watch.
Then there is State Senate Candidate Jim Noll. He lost his race resoundingly. He was even soundly defeated in Villa Hills. You remember. The same Villa Hills that made Noll the top city council vote-getter just two years ago. We believe Noll is yet another Martin "casualty". But in this rare case, The Martin Chronicles is happy about it.
Our biggest concern? That Martin's reckless, retaliatory behavior will continue. In fact, we believe that Martin will redouble his efforts to exact revenge against City employees and other perceived "enemies". The new council will soon learn that there is little they can do to stop Martin. But we hope at least they express their independent views.
Why don't we think Martin will change? First, because we don't think he's capable of changing. Second, because Martin election night "posse" included the "gentleman" who recently described the Chief of Police as a "CROOKED ASS" on Facebook.
That does not bode well.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: To the great relief of our fans and deep regret of our enemies, The Martin Chronicles will continue to be "business as usual". Hey, a skunk is still a skunk is still a skunk. And as long as there is that skunk Mike Martin hanging around, there will be a Martin Chronicles. What did Mark Twain say? "The reports of our demise are greatly exaggerated!" STAY TUNED!!]
First, we extend congratulations to the winners of the 2012 Villa Hills City Council race. We are very cautiously optimistic that Jim Cahill, Amy Balson, Rod Baehner, Holly Isenhour, Brian Wischer and yes, even the retread Mary Koenig will mostly do what they promised and come in to office in January taking a business-like approach to the task assigned to them by the voters. It will be no easy job.
We also want to thank the four incumbents who lost their re-election bids last night for their years of dedicated service to the residents of Villa Hills. All four of these gentlemen deserved a far better fate than what took place last night. These four men have now been added to the long list of casualties of malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's mayhem and mismanagement.
We believe the voters in Villa Hills actually expressed dissatisfaction with virtually everything "status quo" last night, including the mendacious Martin. Let us explain why we believe that, again reserving the right to amend our views at a later date.
While the voters did not have the chance to vote out Martin yesterday, they did deny him the one thing he obviously wanted the most, a "Councilman" Dale Schaber. This despite the fact that Martin spent many a day traveling door-to-door promoting his pal. This despite the fact that the boys from the Civic Club's Dead Pecker's Row distributed Schaber signs all over the City. This despite the show put on for Dale at the Civic Club "candidate forum".
We think the voters consciously decided not to give Martin what he wanted most. We think that was the voter's (only) way to repudiate Martin. At least until 2014. That may or may not bode well for the City's future. Martin has two years to deceive the public all over again, after all. We'll have to wait. And we'll have to watch.
Then there is State Senate Candidate Jim Noll. He lost his race resoundingly. He was even soundly defeated in Villa Hills. You remember. The same Villa Hills that made Noll the top city council vote-getter just two years ago. We believe Noll is yet another Martin "casualty". But in this rare case, The Martin Chronicles is happy about it.
Our biggest concern? That Martin's reckless, retaliatory behavior will continue. In fact, we believe that Martin will redouble his efforts to exact revenge against City employees and other perceived "enemies". The new council will soon learn that there is little they can do to stop Martin. But we hope at least they express their independent views.
Why don't we think Martin will change? First, because we don't think he's capable of changing. Second, because Martin election night "posse" included the "gentleman" who recently described the Chief of Police as a "CROOKED ASS" on Facebook.
That does not bode well.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: To the great relief of our fans and deep regret of our enemies, The Martin Chronicles will continue to be "business as usual". Hey, a skunk is still a skunk is still a skunk. And as long as there is that skunk Mike Martin hanging around, there will be a Martin Chronicles. What did Mark Twain say? "The reports of our demise are greatly exaggerated!" STAY TUNED!!]
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
It's Election Day
The Martin Chronicles reporters are scattered throughout malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's embattled and embarrassed Villa Hills. Martin has taken a town that was voted Northern Kentucky's best just months before he took office and has driven it over the cliff. "Shoddy at best" is "the new normal" in Martinville.
We truly do hate to see the mess Martin and his hillbilly lynchmob continue to make. But our publisher reminds us that we wouldn't be racing to 80,000 unique visits without Martin's mayhem. And so it goes.
Some initial observations:
While he is a hard-driving task master, we really like our publisher. He is a craggy, cynical curmudgeon who understands that sometimes-like in 2010-the bad guys win. He regales us with stories of "the war" (Viet Nam? Korea? World War II? The War Between the States? We aren't sure just how old our publisher really is!) and reminds us of something very important nearly every day.
We truly do hate to see the mess Martin and his hillbilly lynchmob continue to make. But our publisher reminds us that we wouldn't be racing to 80,000 unique visits without Martin's mayhem. And so it goes.
Some initial observations:
- Polling places are crowded. While we believe it is mostly a result of the great interest in the race for the White House, we suspect the Martinite tall tale of woe of "bullying" and "blaming" does have some traction that will manifest itself to some degree in the council election results.
- Sources report that the loudmouth Janet Martin looked mighty cold standing out in front of River Ridge with her "Please elect an all new council" sign. You have to give the devils their due though. They don't have the first (EXPLETIVE) clue about truth, integrity and governing-but they know how to whip the unwashed masses into a false frenzy.
- It was no surprise to hear that Martin crony-hire, $47.50 per hour of your money, totally unqualified clerk/bookkeeper Cordelia Schaber is standing next to the loudmouth Janet Martin at River Ridge. Old Cordie was waving one of her husband Dale's campaign signs. The self-professed "watchdog with lipstick" is trying to protect her grossly over-paying gig. You know, the one she claims she resigned from a year ago? Isn't she still getting paid?
- The predicted unleashing of Martin's lawlessness has begun even before the first votes are counted. Two Martin thugs who were driving a van were spotted blocking incumbent signs with "Noll for State Senate" signs and later removing some of those signs at the Cincinnati Bell building on the corner of Amsterdam and Collins. The van's plates were run. The owner of the van-a key member of Martin's hillbilly lynchmob-was identified. We won't reveal the name until the incumbents decide whether or not to press charges. But we will give you-and the thugs-a hint. Can you say "HAUNTED TRAIL"?
CRIME WAVE UPDATE!!
Sources confirm that the van-a.k.a. "get-a-way vehicle"-used in the sign-stealing incident is dark green and may have a broken tail light. We have already told you who the van belongs to. That is assuming you understand our hint, "HAUNTED TRAIL".CRIME WAVE UPDATE II !!
Sources confirm that the dark green van sped for the city border once the two perps knew they had been spotted. Perhaps they believed that leaving town via Buttermilk Pike would fool the authorities in to thinking they were not residents. Sorry Joe. They ran your plate number.MAYHEM UPDATE !!!
Our publisher received a phone call from a reporter who advised that they had just witnessed someone running over a Mary Koenig campaign sign. Leaning back in his chair and taking a puff on his cigar, our publisher shot back, "Unless old Mary was holding that sign at the time, you don't have much of a story."While he is a hard-driving task master, we really like our publisher. He is a craggy, cynical curmudgeon who understands that sometimes-like in 2010-the bad guys win. He regales us with stories of "the war" (Viet Nam? Korea? World War II? The War Between the States? We aren't sure just how old our publisher really is!) and reminds us of something very important nearly every day.
"Even when the majority disagrees with you, it doesn't mean that you are wrong."
Monday, November 5, 2012
Down To Brass Tacks
The Martin Chronicles is now counting down the hours until Tuesday's election. We have been swamped with e-mails and phone calls about our thoughts on the upcoming Villa Hills City Council election. Not surprisingly, most of the readers we hear from do not support serial LYING, illegal destruction of City property, illegal destruction of City records, unethical misuse of City personnel and resources, sexual harassment, witness intimidation, retaliatory actions against employees, libel, slander, defamation, contempt of court, evidence tampering, jury tampering or obstruction of justice. In other words, they don't support what malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin has been doing for nearly two years. Even if Shorty has left church early to unclog someone's toilet and goes to Haiti.
So, for the benefit of those who keep asking, we are going to point out the candidates who are clearly in Martin's camp. If you don't want to surround Shorty with a bunch of boot-licking, venal lackeys who make it easier for him to continue his misconduct and neglect of duty, we recommend you avoid voting for those listed below.
SPOILER ALERT: If you have been fooled in to believing that poor Shorty is the victim of "bullying" and "blaming" by the incumbents on council, you are not going to like this. If you truly believe that all the malfeasant Martin needs is to be surrounded by "a council that will work with him", the rest of this post will upset you. Stop reading now.
The two worst -
1. DALE SCHABER -Schaber is a walking, talking CONFLICT OF INTEREST. The voters would have a difficult time finding anyone closer to Martin than this sanctimonious skunk. Schaber is so close to Martin in fact that they are co-defendants in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit. Dale's crony-hire wife Cordelia has been ripping off the taxpayers of Villa Hills to the tune of $47.50 per hour since nearly the beginning of Martin's Reign of Error, providing "shoddy at best" bookkeeping. Dale spends most nights parked in "Dead Pecker's Row" in that cesspool called a Civic Club. Sources say that Schaber is looking to use a position on city council to force the taxpayers to fund the six-figure dredging of his private lake and to pay his DEFAMATION-defense attorney Steve Wolnitzek. Schaber is going door-to-door saying one thing. His mean-spirited track record and nasty private comments prove he will do something far different.
2. MARY KOENIG - You would be hard-pressed to find someone more vindictive than Mary Koenig. In case you have forgotten, Koenig was the "mastermind" behind the disaster that was the Clark Administration all those years ago. She was the person who convinced Steve Clark to fire Corky Brown. Koenig wanted to spend millions of taxpayer dollars building ONE swimming pool and sports complex on the civic club property. She also pushed hard for a MILLION of your tax dollars to be shipped out of town to help build Crescent Springs Park. Now Koenig wants to pass an illegal ordinance that would prohibit further investigation of the miscreant Martin-no matter what laws he breaks. Her grisly show was horrible back in the '90's. The sequel would be far, far worse.
Not far behind -
1. HOLLY B. MENNINGER-ISENHOUR - Her performance at the rig-job redneck rodeo called the Villa Hills Civic Club "Candidate Forum" demonstrated that she is just a Martin pawn. At the free-for-all forum, Menninger-Isenhour appeared clueless about the City's problems but she has not been the least bit shy about repeatedly showing her strong hatred for the Villa Hills Police Department. She proved herself to be pathologically unable to admit that there was even one thing Mayor Shorty has done that is a cause for concern. If you support checks and balances in government, stay away from Holly B.
2. BRIAN WISCHER - This guy appears to be an amazing phony. His performance at the Civic Club hillbilly hoedown was spectacularly horrible. A true-blue Martinite. Unless you want to see the police department disbanded and service provided by the Erlanger PD or some other agency-don't even think about thinking about thinking about thinking about casting a vote for Wischer. It is interesting to note that Wischer is now desperately trying to distance himself from Martin. Don't let him fool you.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We know that the public is very unhappy right now. It remains to be seen if they are so unhappy that they will decide to make drastic changes that will, as Phil Taliaferro eloquently put it, unleash the lawlessness of Mike Martin.]
[EDITOR'S NOTE #2: Our attorneys tell us that the hillbilly hate-monger who called Villa Hills Police Chief "CROOKED ASS" in a Facebook post may want to look up the term "libel per se". Perhaps Shorty's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry is about to pick up yet another hayseed ridge-runner for a client.]
So, for the benefit of those who keep asking, we are going to point out the candidates who are clearly in Martin's camp. If you don't want to surround Shorty with a bunch of boot-licking, venal lackeys who make it easier for him to continue his misconduct and neglect of duty, we recommend you avoid voting for those listed below.
SPOILER ALERT: If you have been fooled in to believing that poor Shorty is the victim of "bullying" and "blaming" by the incumbents on council, you are not going to like this. If you truly believe that all the malfeasant Martin needs is to be surrounded by "a council that will work with him", the rest of this post will upset you. Stop reading now.
The two worst -
1. DALE SCHABER -Schaber is a walking, talking CONFLICT OF INTEREST. The voters would have a difficult time finding anyone closer to Martin than this sanctimonious skunk. Schaber is so close to Martin in fact that they are co-defendants in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit. Dale's crony-hire wife Cordelia has been ripping off the taxpayers of Villa Hills to the tune of $47.50 per hour since nearly the beginning of Martin's Reign of Error, providing "shoddy at best" bookkeeping. Dale spends most nights parked in "Dead Pecker's Row" in that cesspool called a Civic Club. Sources say that Schaber is looking to use a position on city council to force the taxpayers to fund the six-figure dredging of his private lake and to pay his DEFAMATION-defense attorney Steve Wolnitzek. Schaber is going door-to-door saying one thing. His mean-spirited track record and nasty private comments prove he will do something far different.
2. MARY KOENIG - You would be hard-pressed to find someone more vindictive than Mary Koenig. In case you have forgotten, Koenig was the "mastermind" behind the disaster that was the Clark Administration all those years ago. She was the person who convinced Steve Clark to fire Corky Brown. Koenig wanted to spend millions of taxpayer dollars building ONE swimming pool and sports complex on the civic club property. She also pushed hard for a MILLION of your tax dollars to be shipped out of town to help build Crescent Springs Park. Now Koenig wants to pass an illegal ordinance that would prohibit further investigation of the miscreant Martin-no matter what laws he breaks. Her grisly show was horrible back in the '90's. The sequel would be far, far worse.
Not far behind -
1. HOLLY B. MENNINGER-ISENHOUR - Her performance at the rig-job redneck rodeo called the Villa Hills Civic Club "Candidate Forum" demonstrated that she is just a Martin pawn. At the free-for-all forum, Menninger-Isenhour appeared clueless about the City's problems but she has not been the least bit shy about repeatedly showing her strong hatred for the Villa Hills Police Department. She proved herself to be pathologically unable to admit that there was even one thing Mayor Shorty has done that is a cause for concern. If you support checks and balances in government, stay away from Holly B.
2. BRIAN WISCHER - This guy appears to be an amazing phony. His performance at the Civic Club hillbilly hoedown was spectacularly horrible. A true-blue Martinite. Unless you want to see the police department disbanded and service provided by the Erlanger PD or some other agency-don't even think about thinking about thinking about thinking about casting a vote for Wischer. It is interesting to note that Wischer is now desperately trying to distance himself from Martin. Don't let him fool you.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We know that the public is very unhappy right now. It remains to be seen if they are so unhappy that they will decide to make drastic changes that will, as Phil Taliaferro eloquently put it, unleash the lawlessness of Mike Martin.]
[EDITOR'S NOTE #2: Our attorneys tell us that the hillbilly hate-monger who called Villa Hills Police Chief "CROOKED ASS" in a Facebook post may want to look up the term "libel per se". Perhaps Shorty's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry is about to pick up yet another hayseed ridge-runner for a client.]
How Do They Define Bullying?
The Martin Chronicles reporters are watching Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Martin and his hillbilly lynchmob go in to a redneck rampage in the final hours of the City Council election. Two of the Martinites major themes are that electing the likes of Dale Schaber, Mary Koenig, Holly B. What's-her-name and Brian Wischer will end (1) "the bullying" and (2) "the blaming" of the mendacious Martin.
Let's start with the definition of "bullying":
NOUN
1. intimidation of weaker person: the process of intimidating or mistreating somebody weaker or in a more vulnerable situation
So we must assume that relative to the City Council, the Martinites believe Martin is a "weaker person". This despite the fact that Martin is the mayor in a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class. This class of City is also known as the "strong mayor" form of government. So it can't be Martin's elected position that makes him "weaker". What might it be then? Character? Intellect? Honesty? Integrity? We say all of the above.
Besides, who is really doing the bullying? Who issued an executive order threatening to arrest any employee who testified at the removal hearing? Who is illegally docking pay? Who is sending out press releases and providing confidential employee information to his hillbilly friends to embarrass City workers? Who is constantly threatening to terminate employees? Who is using employees as human shields to hide his wrongdoing? Why, all of those would be the malevolent Martin.
Then there is Martin's brainless hillbilly lynchmob. Stacking the deck at the so-called Civic Club Candidate Forum in a failed attempt to intimidate candidates they don't like. Coming to council meetings asking the same stupid, missing-the-point-entirely questions time and time again. Swirling to the podium to issue thinly-veiled threats of gun violence. The topper? One half-baked hayseed recently used the disgraceful Voice of Villa Hills Facebook site as the forum to describe Police Chief Dan Goodenough as-and we are quoting this Martinite moron directly- "CROOKED ASS".
Now, let's look at "blaming":
TRANSITIVE VERB
1. to consider someone responsible for something wrong that has happened
Who is the hillbilly lynchmob-perhaps successfully-trying to fool? Who has Martin blamed for everything that has gone wrong over the last five years? Following is only a partial list of Martin's favorite scapegoats.
The Martin Chronicles finds it disturbing that there is a sizeable number of people who swallow Martin's finger-pointing and blame-laying hook, line and sinker. They buy in. They lap it up. And the City that was ranked Northern Kentucky's finest just two years ago is now seen as the joke of the Tri-State.
The Martin Chronicles in no way believes that the election of people like Dale Schaber, Mary Koenig, Holly B. What's-her-name or Brian Wischer will reverse the the rush towards "shoddy at best" status for Villa Hills. In fact, we are convinced that the election of these four will only accelerate the end. But it is not our call. That is left to the voters of Villa Hills. It is no comfort that they elected the malfeasant Martin just two years ago.
Our publisher summed up the current-perhaps irretrievable-state of affairs in Villa Hills this way. "Martin and his followers simply do not understand the distinction between 'majority rule' and 'mob rule'. Once that threshold is crossed, and it clearly has been crossed, it is very difficult to ever go back."
Tomorrow's vote may very well tell the story.
Let's start with the definition of "bullying":
NOUN
1. intimidation of weaker person: the process of intimidating or mistreating somebody weaker or in a more vulnerable situation
So we must assume that relative to the City Council, the Martinites believe Martin is a "weaker person". This despite the fact that Martin is the mayor in a Kentucky City of the Fourth Class. This class of City is also known as the "strong mayor" form of government. So it can't be Martin's elected position that makes him "weaker". What might it be then? Character? Intellect? Honesty? Integrity? We say all of the above.
Besides, who is really doing the bullying? Who issued an executive order threatening to arrest any employee who testified at the removal hearing? Who is illegally docking pay? Who is sending out press releases and providing confidential employee information to his hillbilly friends to embarrass City workers? Who is constantly threatening to terminate employees? Who is using employees as human shields to hide his wrongdoing? Why, all of those would be the malevolent Martin.
Then there is Martin's brainless hillbilly lynchmob. Stacking the deck at the so-called Civic Club Candidate Forum in a failed attempt to intimidate candidates they don't like. Coming to council meetings asking the same stupid, missing-the-point-entirely questions time and time again. Swirling to the podium to issue thinly-veiled threats of gun violence. The topper? One half-baked hayseed recently used the disgraceful Voice of Villa Hills Facebook site as the forum to describe Police Chief Dan Goodenough as-and we are quoting this Martinite moron directly- "CROOKED ASS".
Now, let's look at "blaming":
TRANSITIVE VERB
1. to consider someone responsible for something wrong that has happened
Who is the hillbilly lynchmob-perhaps successfully-trying to fool? Who has Martin blamed for everything that has gone wrong over the last five years? Following is only a partial list of Martin's favorite scapegoats.
- his father
- the bank teller
- the Chief of Police
- the Assistant Chief of Police
- the appellate court
- the previous City administration
- the previous City Clerk
- the Public Works Director
- the Assistant City Clerk
- the interim City Clerk
- the Civil Service Commission
- the City Council
- the auditors
- the finance committee
- the website
- MARY HARDMAN
- the media
The Martin Chronicles finds it disturbing that there is a sizeable number of people who swallow Martin's finger-pointing and blame-laying hook, line and sinker. They buy in. They lap it up. And the City that was ranked Northern Kentucky's finest just two years ago is now seen as the joke of the Tri-State.
The Martin Chronicles in no way believes that the election of people like Dale Schaber, Mary Koenig, Holly B. What's-her-name or Brian Wischer will reverse the the rush towards "shoddy at best" status for Villa Hills. In fact, we are convinced that the election of these four will only accelerate the end. But it is not our call. That is left to the voters of Villa Hills. It is no comfort that they elected the malfeasant Martin just two years ago.
Our publisher summed up the current-perhaps irretrievable-state of affairs in Villa Hills this way. "Martin and his followers simply do not understand the distinction between 'majority rule' and 'mob rule'. Once that threshold is crossed, and it clearly has been crossed, it is very difficult to ever go back."
Tomorrow's vote may very well tell the story.
Friday, November 2, 2012
NEWSFLASH: Counting Facebook Posts?
The Martin Chronicles recently reported on Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's car wash craziness. It now appears that bizarre reaction was just the first in a series of signs that the already loopy Martin has completely slipped the surly bonds of sanity.
What the (EXPLETIVE) is it now? Sources have reported that Martin is now using YOUR money to over-pay interim City Clerk Sue Bree to track anti-Shorty Facebook posts on the Voice of Villa Hills very-rarely-visited page. We certainly hope Martin doesn't have to explain this task 57 times before it sinks in.
Yes, you just read that right. Martin is paying a City employee-who has already received two taxpayer-funded pay increases this year-to track negative comments written about him on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page. No mental problems there.
We wonder if Martin's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry suggested Martin waste YOUR money on this latest nitwittery?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles reporters are fanning out through the embattled and embarrassed city to cover the closing hours of the city council election. We'll leave the Facebook post-counting to Sue Bree.]
What the (EXPLETIVE) is it now? Sources have reported that Martin is now using YOUR money to over-pay interim City Clerk Sue Bree to track anti-Shorty Facebook posts on the Voice of Villa Hills very-rarely-visited page. We certainly hope Martin doesn't have to explain this task 57 times before it sinks in.
Yes, you just read that right. Martin is paying a City employee-who has already received two taxpayer-funded pay increases this year-to track negative comments written about him on the Voice of Villa Hills Facebook page. No mental problems there.
We wonder if Martin's high-priced whore Toad McMurtry suggested Martin waste YOUR money on this latest nitwittery?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Martin Chronicles reporters are fanning out through the embattled and embarrassed city to cover the closing hours of the city council election. We'll leave the Facebook post-counting to Sue Bree.]
Checks And Balances
The Martin Chronicles hopes a goodly number of Villa Hills voters remember at least a little of what they learned in their Civics and US Government classes. Because if they don't, the next two years could be even worse-if that is possible-than Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's dreadful first two years. The concept we hope voters remember? "Checks and balances". What if the voters elect no one who will provide those checks and balances?
The over-arching question is, "who has been in charge these past two years?" The obvious answer is the malfeasant Martin. And even with a council who took their responsibilities of oversight very seriously we have witnessed an astonishing amount of Martin corruption and Martin incompetence.
If Dale Schaber is elected, do you think we will see more or less corruption in the form of cronyism? Given the fact that one of the first things Martin did in 2011 was hire Schaber's wife Cordelia to do a job for which she is totally unqualified and pay her $47.50 per hour of your money to do it very poorly, the answer seems obvious.
Dale Schaber is also Martin's co-defendant in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit filed by a police officer who Martin and Schaber falsely accused of committing serious crimes. Martin's track record of retaliation against and decimation of the Villa Hills Police Department over his first two years has been shocking. It continues to this very day. Do you think the situation will be better or worse for the police department if Dale Schaber is elected? Given the fact that Schaber shares Martin's deep-seated animosity towards the police department and its officers, the answer seems obvious.
And then there is the mean-spirited Mary Koenig. Koenig developed quite a reputation for being a tax and spender back in the 1990's. Koenig voted to raise your property taxes nine times. Koenig voted to institute the payroll tax. Koenig proposed a recreation tax.
Koenig wanted to spend millions of dollars on a "sports complex" on the Civic Club's Franzen Fields. Koenig pushed to give the City of Crescent Springs ONE MILLION OF YOUR DOLLARS so that they could build their park with YOUR MONEY.
Koenig was also directly responsible for Steve Clark's termination of then-Police Chief Corky Brown. Her infamous e-mail to Clark advising him to "pick Corky's brain and then get rid of him" is contained in Special Counsel's 2001 report and is available for public inspection at the Villa Hills City Building.
Given Villa Hills current police department problems, budget woes and dismal lack of leadership, will the wild-spending, mean-spirited Koenig make things better or worse? Given the fact that Koenig shares Martin and Schaber's deep-seated animosity towards the police department and its officers and has an almost reflexive instinct to TAX and SPEND, the answer seems obvious.
Some of you may be upset with the current City Council. But without their experience and vigilance, things will be far worse.
Some of you may have voted for Martin looking for some vague, non-descript "change". Now you understand the old expression "be careful what you ask for because you just might get it" far better than ever before.
Do you really want to repeat that mistake again just two years later?
Say "NO" to Dale Schaber and Mary Koenig. Vote to keep "checks and balances" in place.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We have been told that high-priced whore Toad McMurtry doesn't like being called high-priced whore Toad McMurtry. Our recommendation? Toad had better get used to it.]
The over-arching question is, "who has been in charge these past two years?" The obvious answer is the malfeasant Martin. And even with a council who took their responsibilities of oversight very seriously we have witnessed an astonishing amount of Martin corruption and Martin incompetence.
If Dale Schaber is elected, do you think we will see more or less corruption in the form of cronyism? Given the fact that one of the first things Martin did in 2011 was hire Schaber's wife Cordelia to do a job for which she is totally unqualified and pay her $47.50 per hour of your money to do it very poorly, the answer seems obvious.
Dale Schaber is also Martin's co-defendant in a LIBEL, SLANDER and DEFAMATION lawsuit filed by a police officer who Martin and Schaber falsely accused of committing serious crimes. Martin's track record of retaliation against and decimation of the Villa Hills Police Department over his first two years has been shocking. It continues to this very day. Do you think the situation will be better or worse for the police department if Dale Schaber is elected? Given the fact that Schaber shares Martin's deep-seated animosity towards the police department and its officers, the answer seems obvious.
And then there is the mean-spirited Mary Koenig. Koenig developed quite a reputation for being a tax and spender back in the 1990's. Koenig voted to raise your property taxes nine times. Koenig voted to institute the payroll tax. Koenig proposed a recreation tax.
Koenig wanted to spend millions of dollars on a "sports complex" on the Civic Club's Franzen Fields. Koenig pushed to give the City of Crescent Springs ONE MILLION OF YOUR DOLLARS so that they could build their park with YOUR MONEY.
Koenig was also directly responsible for Steve Clark's termination of then-Police Chief Corky Brown. Her infamous e-mail to Clark advising him to "pick Corky's brain and then get rid of him" is contained in Special Counsel's 2001 report and is available for public inspection at the Villa Hills City Building.
Given Villa Hills current police department problems, budget woes and dismal lack of leadership, will the wild-spending, mean-spirited Koenig make things better or worse? Given the fact that Koenig shares Martin and Schaber's deep-seated animosity towards the police department and its officers and has an almost reflexive instinct to TAX and SPEND, the answer seems obvious.
Some of you may be upset with the current City Council. But without their experience and vigilance, things will be far worse.
Some of you may have voted for Martin looking for some vague, non-descript "change". Now you understand the old expression "be careful what you ask for because you just might get it" far better than ever before.
Do you really want to repeat that mistake again just two years later?
Say "NO" to Dale Schaber and Mary Koenig. Vote to keep "checks and balances" in place.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We have been told that high-priced whore Toad McMurtry doesn't like being called high-priced whore Toad McMurtry. Our recommendation? Toad had better get used to it.]
Thursday, November 1, 2012
It All Started With The Car Washes
The Martin Chronicles continues to be amazed by the truly odd behavior of Villa Hills malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin. Our staff constantly tries to decide whether Martin is a corrupt Norwood street thug or just a complete idiot. Our publisher generally ends these discussions with an "of course Martin is clearly both".
Consider what we just learned from the removal hearing:
So if Martin didn't deal with any of these incredible problems over the past two years, what did he do? We have secured copies of a few recent emails that provide some insight into the malfeasant Martin's priorities.
On what burning problem is Martin fixated? Shorty is trying to reduce the amount of money the police department is spending on car washes. Yes, you read that exactly right. Car washes. According to the Little Man From Norwood, there is a "car wash crisis" in Villa Hills. What was the total amount of money spent on car washes in the month of September? A shocking $80.
Let's put that $80 in perspective. The Villa Hills Police Department had 170 hours of overtime during the last two-week pay period. Why? Well, one officer was on vacation for a week. So, let's be fair and take 40 hours out of that total. That leaves us with 130 overtime hours.
Please also remember that the police department is short two officers. One new officer has been hired. He is currently in training. It will still be some time before he is ready to patrol alone. Let's bend over backwards to be fair to Shorty. Even though the new officer is already getting paid, let's back out another full 80 hours from the overtime total. Even with that way-too-generous deduction, we are still left with 50 hours of overtime for a two-week pay period.
Again, lets be generous to the Little CEO. Let's say these 50 hours of overtime equate to $1,000. Remember that this is only two weeks of overtime. To make it an "apples to apples" comparison with the full month of car washes, we have to double that number to $2,000. Are you with us so far?
Now here is where it probably gets too complex for-to use high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's unfortunate description-the baboons at the Civic Club to comprehend. But we are going to sally forth anyway.
Which costs the taxpayers more? We know. The boys of Dead Pecker's Row are convinced this is a trick question.
a. $2,000 = $80
b. $2,000 < $80
c. $2,000 > $80
d. none of the above
Go ahead. Be brave. You can do this. DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! We have a winner. That's right. The answer is "c"!!! $2,000 dollars in overtime is indeed more than $80 of car washes!!!!
Tell 'em what they win Jay!!!
"The residents of Villa Hills get a very expensive, two-year extension for their trip through the mayhem and madness that is malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's "Reign of Error".
You will also get one hour of unlicensed electrical work performed by Mike Martin Electric at your home. You need to know that Martin is going to only charge you $55. But, if law enforcement officials ask, we uh, er, ummm, well, we need you to tell them that Martin didn't charge you anything. Hey, don't worry. Lots of people have done that!
Wow. Is that right? You don't say? Seriously? No foolin'? Martin is more worried more about car washes than overtime? You're kidding, right?
The Martin Chronicles has a suggestion for how to solve this car wash crisis. Put MARY HARDMAN in charge of it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sources say that Martin has already secretly promised council candidate Brian Wischer the chairmanship of the Car Wash Oversight Subcommittee of the City Administration Committee. A plum appointment indeed.]
Consider what we just learned from the removal hearing:
- According to Martin, Interim City Clerk Sue Bree is evidently completely incapable of learning even the simplest task. Despite Martin's FIFTY-SEVEN attempts to direct Bree to follow Kentucky's Open Records statutes, she just can't figure it out.
- According to Martin, Interim City Clerk Sue Bree also has a serious problem with reading comprehension. While Martin was certain even a sea monkey could understand City Attorney Mike Duncan's May memo forbidding any further document destruction, Bree evidently did not. How do we know that? Because Bree ignored Duncan's memo and Judge Summe's April 26 order and well, uh, er, she shredded more documents in late July. So Bree got those two pay raises this year because . . .?
- According to Martin, MARY HARDMAN is the most detail-oriented person in the history of Western civilization. There was no better person than MARY HARDMAN to assign to the complicated task of destroying City records. She read a book about it, after all. And yet, something went wrong.
- According to Martin, the only way that documents that shouldn't have been destroyed could have been recovered from MARY HARDMAN'S January 5 records barbecue is if the police department planted them there.
- According to Martin, the only reason well over a hundred thousand dollars of taxpayer money was squandered in police overtime is because Chief Goodenough lied to him some time during the first month of his administration.
- According to Martin, Clerk Kim Robbins is a nothing more than a dishonest, ticking time bomb of seething anger who "has it out" for him.
- According to Martin, the only reason that he has been unable to deal with these obviously serious personnel problems FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS is because of that pesky City Council and the Civil Service Commission.
So if Martin didn't deal with any of these incredible problems over the past two years, what did he do? We have secured copies of a few recent emails that provide some insight into the malfeasant Martin's priorities.
On what burning problem is Martin fixated? Shorty is trying to reduce the amount of money the police department is spending on car washes. Yes, you read that exactly right. Car washes. According to the Little Man From Norwood, there is a "car wash crisis" in Villa Hills. What was the total amount of money spent on car washes in the month of September? A shocking $80.
Let's put that $80 in perspective. The Villa Hills Police Department had 170 hours of overtime during the last two-week pay period. Why? Well, one officer was on vacation for a week. So, let's be fair and take 40 hours out of that total. That leaves us with 130 overtime hours.
Please also remember that the police department is short two officers. One new officer has been hired. He is currently in training. It will still be some time before he is ready to patrol alone. Let's bend over backwards to be fair to Shorty. Even though the new officer is already getting paid, let's back out another full 80 hours from the overtime total. Even with that way-too-generous deduction, we are still left with 50 hours of overtime for a two-week pay period.
Again, lets be generous to the Little CEO. Let's say these 50 hours of overtime equate to $1,000. Remember that this is only two weeks of overtime. To make it an "apples to apples" comparison with the full month of car washes, we have to double that number to $2,000. Are you with us so far?
Now here is where it probably gets too complex for-to use high-priced whore Toad McMurtry's unfortunate description-the baboons at the Civic Club to comprehend. But we are going to sally forth anyway.
Which costs the taxpayers more? We know. The boys of Dead Pecker's Row are convinced this is a trick question.
a. $2,000 = $80
b. $2,000 < $80
c. $2,000 > $80
d. none of the above
Go ahead. Be brave. You can do this. DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! We have a winner. That's right. The answer is "c"!!! $2,000 dollars in overtime is indeed more than $80 of car washes!!!!
Tell 'em what they win Jay!!!
"The residents of Villa Hills get a very expensive, two-year extension for their trip through the mayhem and madness that is malfeasant Mayor Mike Martin's "Reign of Error".
You will also get one hour of unlicensed electrical work performed by Mike Martin Electric at your home. You need to know that Martin is going to only charge you $55. But, if law enforcement officials ask, we uh, er, ummm, well, we need you to tell them that Martin didn't charge you anything. Hey, don't worry. Lots of people have done that!
Wow. Is that right? You don't say? Seriously? No foolin'? Martin is more worried more about car washes than overtime? You're kidding, right?
The Martin Chronicles has a suggestion for how to solve this car wash crisis. Put MARY HARDMAN in charge of it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sources say that Martin has already secretly promised council candidate Brian Wischer the chairmanship of the Car Wash Oversight Subcommittee of the City Administration Committee. A plum appointment indeed.]
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